Ready For Flynn,Part 3: A Rockstar Romance: Ready For Flynn Series

by K. L. Shandwick

  “Oh, babe, you underestimate your ability there. I remain who I am because I have reason to. You are all the reason I need to stay right where I want to be.”

  Chapter 27

  Emotions run high

  Flynn

  On the morning of the wedding, Valerie was back to being her efficient, no-nonsense self, ensuring that everything was ready for her duties as maid of honor. Liam was staying behind with Niven, but both he and Milly had a central role to play during the ceremony. Each had to carry a small white satin pillow with a wedding ring that would be presented to the pastor to be blessed then placed on the finger of the betrothed.

  In a romantic gesture, I had taken the opportunity to leave a white Peony flower under the wiper on the windshield of her car and placed the little blue velvet box with the necklace I’d bought on her driver’s seat while she was getting ready that morning. There was also a love letter for my girl to remind her of how much she meant to me.

  Valerie left the house just before 8:00 a.m. to drive over to Amber’s place. I’d expected a short phone call after she found what I’d left her, but she hadn’t called me by the time Liam and I had finished breakfast. So, I figured maybe she wanted to wait to read it by herself because Rita was with her.

  My boy and I showered together, then I left him in Niven’s capable hands and headed to Val’s parents’ house in my tux, accompanied by Lee, to find Kayden.

  It was a calm, relaxed atmosphere at the Darsin household. Two guys I’d met a few times before that were friends with Kayden from high school, were sitting on the sofa. They were wearing silver gray tuxedos and electric blue ties, with matching vests, just like I wore. Both heads turned when they heard me approach. I smirked because I’d never seen them in anything but coveralls, but they scrubbed up well. Dennis, the taller of the two dark-haired men, ran a bike shop in town; the other, Teddy, worked with Kayden and his dad, Alan.

  After they greeted me, Val’s parents and Aunt Joan told me Kayden was still upstairs. I went up and stopped for a moment to catch my breath. I wasn’t breathless because of the stairs it was the memories of the times I’d been up there. I stood for a second outside what was Valerie’s old bedroom. My mind went back to the first night when I came out of the bathroom in nothing but a small towel and saw the heat instantly gather in her gorgeous eyes.

  I remembered that immediate attraction to her the first time I met her and it had scared me. She was way too young and innocent for me to have had the kind of feelings she had invoked in me. Of course, I’d kept my word to Martin about not going after her…mostly, but there had been that moment, that one moment of weakness when I’d felt drawn toward her and almost caved. She wasn’t quite sixteen and that alone should have terrified me, but it hadn’t. I was more scared of leaving and never knowing her, but two days later, that’s exactly what I had done.

  Hearing “Brighter Than Sunshine” by Aqualung coming from Kayden’s room told me everything I needed to know about how he was feeling, and if I was honest I felt jealous. I wanted what he was about to have. More than I’d admit to Valerie. The one thing I knew about her was if she was pushed in one direction, she’d lean harder in the other.

  I knocked on the door, and he told me to come in. Standing by the dresser fresh from the shower, his dark wet hair was mussed up from being towel dried as he moved around the room in his red boxer shorts and matching socks.

  As soon as I closed the door I leaned against the wall and smirked, “So are you planning on being run over today, Kayden?”

  He spun to look at me, a can of deodorant in his hand, and his arm frozen in mid-air.

  “Huh?”

  I chuckled and gestured at his matching socks and boxers, “The matching underwear, I thought it was women that thought about such things like having matching underwear when they are doing something risky…just in case they have to be undressed by a stranger.”

  Kayden reached up and took the pristine white dress shirt from the hanger on the door and started to pull it on.

  “Oh, I plan on being undressed all right— stripped naked by my bride and ridden like she’s winning the Kentucky Derby,” he chuckled and nudged my shoulder on the way past, “And there’s nothing risky about what I’m doing today, Flynn, you should try it,” he shot back.

  “And what does that mean?” I asked as I suddenly bristled when I knew full well it was a jibe at his sister and my status.

  “All right, since you asked. I know you love, Valerie. Hell, you two make me sick at times with your public displays of affection but are you ever going to make an honest woman of her…go all in?”

  The ache in my chest grew, and my heart felt like a dead weight. I felt hostility in the way he looked at me as if I was less of a man for not securing Valerie’s future as my wife. “You really want to do this today of all days, Kayden?” I asked in a voice laced with frustration.

  It pissed me off that he’d chosen that day of all days to ask that question because I wasn’t prepared to get into it with him, especially on his wedding day, but he’d opened that door.

  “Trust me, Kayd, I’m definitely all in with Valerie. Boulder and rope around my ankle and on my way to the bottom of the ocean, all in.”

  “And you left her a few weeks ago.”

  “I did, and you know why? I was fucking hurt. I left because I couldn’t stand to see the hurt in her eyes and to think that she could believe I’d have done anything to jeopardize what we had. I was mad…no, I was incensed, that someone I had no clue even existed, could rock our foundation to the core like that. And I left for my own reasons, Kayden, reasons to do with what I’d lived through previously and I’d left as the result of what had cut my nerves and exposed them raw. I’m human. I’m flawed, and I’m a guy with an ugly past.”

  Kayden reached for his hairbrush and ran it through his hair. He was listening quietly and made no effort to interrupt me.

  “I left because no matter what I said, what actions I made to make Valerie feel secure in my world, it never seemed like enough. It’s a long story, and it stems from my time in the foster care system. You probably wouldn’t understand, being a trusted stand-up guy that everyone respects, Kayden. Since the day I met Valerie my instincts have been to protect her. At first glance, that girl ingrained herself on my soul. The night of Adam’s football game, as soon as I saw the wounded look she gave you about facing the people that had humiliated her, it stung to see that. I think it was at that point…before I’d even touched her that I wanted to protect her. Since then, all I’ve ever wanted was to make her feel loved and adored and to be mine. And still, I was placed in the position of having to prove myself when I had nothing to prove.”

  “And that’s why you’ve never popped the question? Your past has stopped you from asking her to marry you? I know my parents and I would feel happy to know she was secure.”

  “Who says I haven’t?” I said, quickly.

  “You have?”

  “If you mean have I dragged out the bells and whistles to make a grand gesture with a ring and a romantic setting, no I haven’t done that. It doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted to.” I ran my hand through my hair and watched Kayden tug at the tie he had knotted in such a slow, deliberate way I knew he was digesting what I’d said. “Have you ever asked Valerie about this?”

  Kayden nodded, “She told me to mind my own business. Four times I’ve tried to open the dialogue around this, and she’s shut me down the moment I opened my mouth.”

  “So why do you think that was, Kayd? Because she wanted to marry me and I wouldn’t ask her? If that’s what you’re thinking, then you are way wrong. The subject has come up. Several times. A couple of times I even suggested it in the middle of our conversations. She doesn’t want to marry me Kayden, and you know what? That fucking cuts deep. Even more, now that I’ve seen how excited she’s been about your wedding.”

  Kayden had just buttoned up his blue vest and was shrugging himself into his ja
cket when he stopped to look incredulously at me.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Yeah, ‘cause I always fuck around when it comes to talking about marrying Valerie,” I replied in a sarcastic tone. “Plain and simple truth is that for some reason she won’t have me. Said we don’t need rings and ceremonies to show other people what we already know. Your sister has major trust issues because of those other turds she was involved with, and for their sins I still get punished every single day.”

  “Damn, Flynn, I’m sorry. All this time I’ve thought you had commitment issues or something, and it was Valerie?”

  “I guess,” I answered, honestly.

  “When we’re back from our honeymoon I’ll talk to her.”

  “No. Don’t you dare interfere in our shit. If I marry, Valerie, it would have to be Valerie’s decision. I don’t want her to be persuaded to marry me. She’d marry me if that was what she wanted. She obviously doesn’t.”

  “But you two were made for each other. I can’t imagine Valerie with someone else. Or you for that matter.”

  “Me neither, that’s the crazy part about it. Usually, I can manage the feelings of rejection, I know that’s not what she’s doing, but it feels that way sometimes…”

  The conversation fell silent, and I began to feel uncomfortable.

  “Whatever, it’s your big day Kayd. Forget about it and let’s go get you your bride.”

  *****

  When we went down to the kitchen, Alan had opened a bottle of champagne, “To settle the nerves.” I’m not sure who’s nerves he was talking about because everyone looked pretty relaxed to me, but we threw the bubby our way anyway. Kayden and his dad disappeared down the hall for a quiet father and son chat, and again I felt at a loss because I knew I’d never get to have a chat like that with mine. Turning, I headed for the kitchen door and stepped outside to the bright Iowa sunshine.

  I closed my eyes, took a long deep breath and tried my hardest to put my feelings aside so that I could be everything Kayden and Valerie needed me to be today. I knew they were both going to need support. I was head groomsman, but I was Valerie’s partner, and the last thing I wanted to do was inject my fucked up feelings any further into what was already an emotionally charged day for the entire Darsin family.

  The limousines started arriving to take us to the church, so I stepped back inside and let everyone know. Two separate limos took all of us on the short trip to the church, ours carrying the wedding party of Kayden, Dennis, Teddy and me, as well as Lee. Valerie’s dad rode in the other limo with Marianne and her sister.

  I’d witnessed Kayden at his worst, and at that time I could never have imagined the confident, calm, smiling guy sitting across from me during that ride. He’d definitely healed with Amber’s love, and I knew without a doubt the guy owed his future to her. I only had to see them together to feel the connection they had.

  It wasn’t the same chemistry Val and I had. Their’s was a quiet, tender, romantic relationship. I could have been wrong, but to an outsider, it appeared to be a relationship of mutual respect and love. It seemed quite different from what Valerie and I shared with our soul searching, passionate desire that constantly made us feel like we’d never get enough of each other.

  When we got to the church, most of the people the couple had invited were milling around outside in the sunshine. When they saw the limo driving up, they headed inside. Lee rang Niven to make sure Liam was inside, and when he said they were already waiting, I told Kayden we were good to go.

  Inside the church it was light and airy, delicate flower garlands had been made into chains and were hanging from every pew. I hadn’t been in a church since I’d been in foster care and it felt strange, like I was intruding somehow. The pastor was a natural performer, easing nerves if there were any, with a small attempt at humor before he quickly reiterated how the ceremony would play out. I smirked at his gig rehearsal.

  Standing in single file at the church altar behind Kayden, we watched as the pastor made his way to the front as a hush descended in the small church. The organist began to play “So beautiful” by Savage Garden, and Amber entered looking like a vision in a slim- fitting wedding dress and a short veil. She was a pretty girl, but I barely noticed her because from the moment I laid eyes on Valerie everything else that was happening paled into insignificance. She looked like a goddess dressed in a long flowing lilac and white chiffon number with her hair up in some kind of fancy arrangement, but the deliberate curls that had been left loose from it made her sexier.

  My heart picked up its pace, reacting to its owner as all the negative thoughts fell away the moment her eyes found mine. She smiled shyly at me, and I grinned back feeling love-struck all over again, just like I had the first time we met. Of course, I’d seen her dolled up plenty of times, but on those occasions it was about public appearances. This was a private affair and she looked as elegant as ever.

  The wedding service itself was an emotionally charged event. Kayden and Amber held up well. There were no tears from them, but they were almost the only dry eyes in the church. The pastor made reference to all the boys growing up, and I realized he had known the family from birth when he’d rejoiced with the family at the birth of each new member. He went on to recount some of Kayden and Martin’s escapades from when they were younger, and it was clear that the man was fond of the family.

  The real deal breaker for Valerie was when he told the congregation that Kayden had been a good man from a young age and how Alan and Marianne had taught their boys to protect their little sister, Valerie. He turned to Kayden and said he was sure they’d made it to heaven, and they’d be looking down on them today; how proud they’d be of how their sister and brother had turned out.

  Glancing with concern at Valerie as the pastor spoke, I watched her eyes brimming with tears. She reached and fidgeted with the necklace she was wearing; the necklace I’d left in the car for her. She was wearing it and by touching it, I knew it was her connecting to me and her way of consoling herself. Turning to look at Kayden we had this split-second silent conversation that said, “Sorry, dude but my girl needs me,” and he nodded. Seconds later I had crossed the room, and she was safely in my arms. I pressed my lips to her temple; it was my attempt to kiss away her pain.

  From that point on I didn’t care about traditions and doing the right thing, as far as I was concerned, I already was. As a man who loved his woman, my first duty was to protect and console her when she was distressed.

  Valerie smiled through her tears when Liam and Milly walked down the aisle carrying the pillows, and I was as proud as fuck that my little rock star hadn’t messed up. He grinned from ear to ear when Kayden bent down beside him, had a quiet word and mussed up his hair after the pastor placed the rings on the Bible. Niven quietly took him back to sit down, and he waved enthusiastically at both of us. Valerie slipped her hand in mine, like she always did when she felt the need to be closer, and we both turned back when the pastor began the exchange of vows.

  I glanced to the side and watched her as her brother claimed his bride and her hand tightened around mine until she was clinging so tightly it stung. Apart from the fact she was gripping me like her life depended on it, outwardly to the others, she had remained passive while the whole thing played out. Thomas Rhett, “Die a Happy Man,” began to play. Valerie whispered to me that it was the first song they ever danced to. Kayden threaded Amber’s arm through his and began to walk past the congregation to the door at the back of the church, and they got about four steps down when Kayden suddenly turned to Amber took her in his arms and danced with her the rest of the way down the aisle.

  The church was filled with loud cheers and clapping as they put on a show. I glanced at Valerie and smiled, but she stood still, quietly watching and I knew instantly she was struggling again.

  “You did great today, babe. I know this was hard for you, but it’s over now. Breathe, Valerie. Today will be all good from this p
oint on, you’ve made it through the hardest part,” I said trying to lift her mood.

  Valerie laid her head on my shoulder and took a deep breath, glanced up and gave me a small smile, “I’m okay, Flynn. I mean you don’t have to make sure I eat or anything, it’s just…” Both of us scoffed at her attempt at smoothing over her feelings. “Well, I guess we’d better head out since I’m taking the rest of the pictures,” she said, and I knew she was using her work as her escape, just like music had been mine when things got tough.

  “Go on, babe; I know you’ll do a great job. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and have my own slow dance with you later.”

  When I said that I was rewarded with a genuine smile, “It always cheers me up when your arms are around me,” she said as she pressed up on her tiptoes to kiss me. When we broke the kiss, she took me by the hand and pulled me in the direction of the now almost empty church to carry out our wedding party responsibilities for the couple.

  Chapter 28

  Struggles

  Valerie

  Kayden and Amber’s wedding was a tough day all round for me. Seeing how happy they were had made me want all that they had. The few days I’d spent with Flynn in Florida made me wish for more of that normal life where we could just take off and hang out in each other’s company. Making love, getting up to our schedule and having fun with friends were the things we had missed out on while we had poured all our efforts into the band. The rock star lifestyle was crazy.

  It had been almost a few weeks since Flynn had taken off, and while I had felt furious with him, it probably gave me the scare I needed and brought my stupidity and his to a head. I wasn’t above admitting when I was wrong, and God knows Flynn had tried to reach me at all those other times when I’d felt insecure. When the pictures from the hotel came between us, it had been the catalyst we’d needed to seek help in dealing with our pasts.

  In a way, I’m thankful to that girl in the pictures for what she did because in facing our fears and seeking help, we became stronger together for it. I’d been rocked to my core by how he reacted when I hadn’t accepted his word, and from his perspective, I should never have doubted him because he was innocent. In that sense, I understood his argument and I thought from what he’d said following that, he’d understood mine.