by Ann Rinaldi
"Fanny, you come along now. Don't be rude. Come on, I say!" Ro never ordered me around, and she really wasn't now. But she held out her hand to me and I couldn't refuse her. So I followed them into the house and allowed myself to be sat down at the table in the kitchen and drink warm milk and eat gingerbread without shame that it was Devil Anse's milk and gingerbread. I watched Mrs. Devil Anse put salve on Ro's scratches and a cold rag to her head, and heard my sister pour out her heart about the matter to this woman about whom I'd been told since I was a knee baby had horns on top of her head.
She didn't, of course. She was as nice as my ma, if not nicer. At least she didn't rant and rave about tribulation or the vengeance of the Lord. Or run outside to put a pebble by the name of Johnse on the side of the damned on a praying rock. She comforted Ro best as she could, and when she was done made her he down on a couch nearby. Then she attended to me.
"I told him and told him," she said to Ro as she knelt and took each of my legs at a time and applied her decoction of salve, "to let you two wed. But no. I declare these men of ourn, they have a mournful need for war. And if there's no more Blue Bellies to shoot at, why they'll just make up some!"
I decided that I liked Levicy Hatfield. She had a round, pleasant face, her kitchen smelled good, her gingerbread was the best I ever tasted, and she had common sense. I was so torn with guilt about liking her I could scarce swallow.
A minute later, when the whole parcel of men rode out, she stepped out onto the porch and yelled, "Robert E. Lee, where you think you're going?"
I heard the reply, through the tramping of horses' feet as the men left, then I saw her go off the porch through the dust and grab the reins of the pony Robert E. Lee was riding.
"Ma!" he protested. "I'm huntin' McCoys!"
But she pulled him from the pony and dragged him by the ear into the house. "Thirteen years old," she said, "and a bigger vexation to me than any of them! The only thing you're hunting is rabbits! Now get out there and cut some wood for the stove!"
I liked her even better now. And my guilt vanished.
We sat awhile until Ro was rested. Levicy took off Ro's skirt and dried it by the fire. I sat and dried mine. I was getting worried again. I'd seen as many as forty men ride off with Devil Arise to find my pa and Jim. When we got ready to leave, Ro saw my discomfort. "I won't tell Pa you were here with me," she promised.
I hugged her as we rode back to Aunt Betty's. "What if they ask?"
"Then you he to Pa. It's the only way to survive. Haven't you learned that yet?"
I was learning. The ride back wasn't half as bad, maybe because we took our time, and maybe because all I could think of was what would happen to Pa and Jim when all those Hatfields caught up with them. I was crazy with worry about it. But then, by the rime we got to Aunt Betty's, it was late. She wanted to give me supper, but I said no, I'd best get home.
"You all right, child?" she asked.
"All right as I can be in West Virginia," I said.
"What's the matter with you, Fanny?" Ro asked sharply. "You're back in Kentucky now, and you know it. If you're feverish I'll not let you go home, but stay the night."
I told them I was fine and started off. I knew I was in Kentucky all right. Did they think I was teched? But I also knew I was broken off from the family now, like West Virginia had broken from the Confederacy. I'd made my stand. And it was with my sister and against my family. I felt the break inside me already and knew it would mean trouble.
I suppose I was ready for it. A body had to be, if they made a stand. Wasn't my family always saying such? Only thing that plagued me was I still didn't know the meaning of the word seduction.
Chapter Seventeen
FALL 1880
I KNOW THINGS about the family and I'm the youngest. Maybe I know them because I'm the youngest. And they said things to me and thought I wouldn't understand. Or I stood around the edges and watched and they paid me no nevermind. And when I tell them the things I know, they say those things never happened. And so the burden of the knowing is on me.
***
"IT'S ABOUT TIME you got home! Ma's been half crazy, what with Pa and Jim riding out looking for Johnse. Did they get him? Did they come to Aunt Betty's while you were there? What are those scratches on your legs? Look at her, Ma. She's all tore up." Alifair grabbed me soon's I walked in the door. Ma and the girls stood around looking at me. But it was Adelaide with her granny-woman ways who set out to ruin me.
"Her legs have been treated with salve." Adelaide picked up my dress. "Likely dock root and sweet cream."
I pushed her away. "You leave me be!"
Alifair grabbed my arm and shook me. "Leave you be? You deserve a switching for worrying Ma so. Who treated your legs?"
I looked at Ma for sympathy, but saw none. "After Pa and Jim came and took Johnse, Ro rode off on Aunt Betty's horse after them. And when she didn't come back Aunt Betty got worried and I went looking for her. Got caught in some briars. Aunt Betty treated me."
Lie to Pa and you lie to God. Now I was lying to Ma. Was it the same? More to the point, did she believe me? I didn't care about the others. I did care about Ma.
"It was good of Aunt Betty," she said after a long moment. "But I think you ought to have a bath and soak those legs before mortification sets in. Alifair, see to it."
If Ma wanted to punish me she couldn't have picked a better way. We bathed once a week, for Sunday Meeting, but now the old tub in the cellar was filled with hot water and Alifair scrubbed me. She did not do it softly, and the more I yelled, the harder she scrubbed.
"You've been up to something," she said. "You little sneak. Ma may believe it, but I don't. I've a mind to hold your head under until you tell. Only you'll go snitch and get yourself sent to Tolbert's again, where you get spoiled rotten. But afore this is done, I'll find what you've been about and you'll be whupped good for lying. Ma can't abide lying. You know that?"
Lucky for me we heard Pa come home just then, or might be she'd have held my head under the water. But she wanted to hear what he had to say. I dried myself, put on my nightdress, and followed her upstairs. Pa stood in the kitchen, still looking like he'd fulfilled a prophecy from Isaiah.
"We were a-takin' Johnse to the county jail at Pikeville when they rode up. Forty of 'em. Hatfields. A-gunnin' for us. Devil Anse pointed that gun of his right at me. Would of fired it, too, if Johnse didn't knock it from his hands."
"Johnse saved your life?" Ma asked.
"How did they know to seek you out?" Leave it to Alifair to hop on that like a June bug.
"Johnse only did it 'cause of Jim," Pa answered Ma. "We thought they was McCoys comin' and Jim promised, as a man of the law, to protect Johnse no matter how many McCoys."
Only Pa would put such a meaning on it.
Ma started to talk again about how Johnse saved his life, but Alifair interrupted with her big mouth. "How did the Hatfields know, Pa? Somebody must have told 'em."
He stopped talking and stared at her. And his face took on a look like God's must have when He caught Adam eating the apple. "Ro!" he hollered. "Why didn't I think on it? My own daughter. Yer right, Alifair, Ro told 'em. By God, my own daughter!" And he set to pacing in the kitchen like a painter cat.
"Now Ranel, ye don't know it was Ro," Ma started.
"Don't know it? Who else, I ask? Who else even knew we were there?"
Silence, terrible silence in the kitchen. Alifair turned to me with a smile on her face. "Fanny," she asked sweetly, "you were there, child. I know you're plumb wore out from today, but you did say she rode off on Aunt Betty's horse, didn't you? And you went to fetch her home and got all those scratches on your legs? You should see her legs, Pa. The poor little thing's all covered with scratches."
Now all had their eyes on me again. I felt my poor scratched legs tremble. I clenched my fists and decided that someday I'd kill my sister Alifair. How, I didn't know, but I'd think of a way.
"Fanny?" Pa asked. "When your sister rode off,
did she say where she was a-goin'?"
"No, Pa. She was just so all-fired scared for Johnse. I asked her, but no, she wouldn't say."
More lying. But he believed it.
Later I lay in the darkness of my room, terrified by the awfulness of what I'd done. I couldn't sleep for fear of it. Then, when the house got quiet, the door of my room opened and Alifair stood over my bed in her long, white nightdress.
"Come with me," she said.
"Where?"
"Never you mind. You just come."
I went, following her through the darkness of the house, out into the chilly night, fearstruck. What was she going to do to me now? Her nightdress fluttered in the chill autumn breeze, like some ghostly thing ahead of me. She held a candle but didn't light it. Hooty owls called. Old Blue started fussing, but Alifair hushed him. I followed her to Ma's tree stump, where she stopped and lit the candle. In its yellow light her face looked down at me, firm and full of purpose.
"Take your pebble and put it on the side of the damned."
I stared up at her. "That's Ma's job. Not yourn."
"Do it, or I will tell them you were with Ro today when she warned the Hatfields."
"I wasn't!"
She reached out to slap me. I ducked, but her hand caught my ear and I started to yowl.
"Hush, or you'll get more! Do as I say with the pebble. Now!"
"What will Ma say when she sees it there?" I sobbed.
"She'll figure Jesus put it there and decide that's where it should be. Now do it." She held the candle over the pebbles. I found mine, the smallest one because I was the youngest.
"Now put it on the side of the damned."
I did so. Only one other was there now. Ro's. So, I thought, for all her talk Ma still thinks Ro is damned. In the eerie light cast on the tree stump, Ro's and my pebbles looked awful lonesome, while on the other side all the other family pebbles kept each other company.
"You're damned for your lie," Alifair whispered to me. "Your covenant with God is broken. Suppose Johnse hadn't knocked that gun out of his father's hand? Pa would be dead. And it would be on your head. Don't he anymore. Your sin will ride heavy on you and maybe even bring His wrath down on this house. Now go to bed and think on that."
I ran back to the house and to my room, where I jumped under the covers, all the time shivering. My sister was right, I was convinced of it. I'd betrayed my family. What if Johnse hadn't knocked the gun from his father's hand? I lay awake most of the night, tossing and turning, listening to the night wind and sounds outside my window. Once I smelled a skunk circling the house. And then I knew it wasn't a skunk. It was Yeller Thing, out there, waiting for me. Waiting to take me into the woods with him. Because he knew I deserved it.
I fell asleep just as the sky was turning gray in the east. I slept deeply. And then Alifair was standing over me again, this time fully dressed. "Fanny, get up. You've overslept."
My head ached like I had an ague. But I sat up. Sunlight hurt my eyes. I smelled coffee and frying ham.
She stood there with her hands on her hips. From the yard came loud voices. "The boys have sighted a visitor coming up the lane," she said with grim satisfaction. "Thought you'd want to be out there. You shouldn't miss this. It's Roseanna."
Numb with terror again, I got up and followed obediently.
Chapter Eighteen
FALL 1880
PHARMER, BUD, AND Bill were by the gate in the yard. Mama was at the doorstep. Adelaide and Trinvilla were in the kitchen garden in front. Ah frozen like some painting I'd seen in Bible lessons. Mama looked like Lot's wife standing there, like she was told not to look at Ro or she'd be turned into a pillar of salt. She wasn't looking. She was turned away, talking to Trinvilla about the beans in the garden.
I followed Alifair down the path to the gate and stood like a mule with colic, watching Ro come. She looked right smart in a new calico dress Aunt Betty had made her. And Clothilda had on a proper leather harness. At the gate she stopped, looked at everybody, and sort of smiled.
"Howdy," she said.
I started forward, but Alifair had a grip on my arm like a bear trap. "Let me go! You made me come out here, now let me go to her." I felt a panic rising inside me. Somehow I had to break free of my sister and keep Ro from coming to our gate. I knew that if she came through that gate harm would come to her. They had something planned, I felt it in my bones.
"Stay here and let the boys attend to her."
Attend to her? Alifair sounded like Mr. Cuzlin, like Ro was a contrary five-year-old. I fought her, but she hung on to my wrist. "Ma!" I called.
What did I expect? Ma quoted the Bible. "Your children will meet the enemy at the gates." She turned her mind again to those beans.
The enemy? Is that how she sees Ro now? Oh! I sobbed, then stopped fussing to watch my sister get down off Clothilda, come to the gate, and open it. Then Pharmer had his hand on it, holding it closed. "Afore you come in, Ro, there's something we've a mind to ask you."
I saw her look into Pharmer's face, then Bud's and Bill's. Ro wasn't stupid. What she saw there made her drop her hand from the gate. "Ask," she said.
"Did you ride off yesterday and tell the Hatfields that Pa and Jim had Johnse?"
Silence settled over the front yard. Ro's answer was so soft I couldn't hear it, but I didn't have to. Her head was bowed. I knew what she said.
"You mean you told those spawn of the Devil so's they'd come after Pa and Jim? What were you a-thinkin', Ro?"
I heard her sob. "Of Johnse. I didn't want them to shoot Johnse."
"Did Jim promise you he wouldn't?"
She nodded. "But Pa," she said, "it was Pa I was afeared would shoot him."
"So you told the Hatfields so they could shoot your own kin."
"I didn't think," she said. "I didn't think that far. I only thought to save Johnse."
"Well you should of," Pharmer said. "Now Pa isn't home, Ro. But as the oldest son here, I speak for him. You have to go. And not come back here again, you hear?"
I couldn't believe what Pharmer was saying! Not come back again? How could they! Again I struggled to free myself but couldn't. Ro looked up, wiping her eyes, staring around at the place like she'd never seen it before. She stared at Bud and Bill in turn, then at Adelaide and Trinvilla, who'd already turned to salt there in the garden. Her eyes went to Alifair, who was still holding me, to me, then to Ma. It was to Ma that she reached out her hand. "Mama?"
"You gotta go, Ro," Pharmer said. "Now. Sorry, but you can't see Ma. You sent Hatfields to kill her husband."
"I didn't!" Ro came to life then and pushed the gate open.
"Well, old Devil Anse was set to shoot Pa, and would of if Johnse didn't stop him."
"Then Johnse saved his life. What's wrong with you people? Why don't you bring a stop to all this?"
"You started it, Ro, when you ran off with Johnse. Now it's set its own course and it can't be stopped," Pharmer said. Then he closed the gate against her. The click of it sounded in the yard so loud I thought it would burst my eardrums. "Go, Ro, and don't come back. Ever."
"Ma," she called. "You can't mean this! You can't be sending me off like this!"
"But God shoots His arrows at conspirators. Suddenly they are struck. He brings them down by their own tongues." That was all Ma said. It was enough.
Ro's shoulders slumped. She turned to go. It was then that I bit Alifair's arm hard enough to make her yell and ran down the path to my sister. "Ro! Ro, wait, I'm coming," I yelled.
Bud and Bill tried to hold me, but I kicked them and fought like a painter cat.
"Leave her say good-bye," Pharmer said.
Bud and Bill obeyed, and I opened the gate and went through to Ro. I hugged her, smelled her glycerin and rosewater, felt the rise of her belly others did not know about.
"It's okay, baby," she said. "I'll be all right. Don't cry."
"I want to come with you."
"No, no, you stay here. Here's where you belong."
<
br /> I couldn't see her face for my tears. "I'll come see you," I whispered. "I promise."
She nodded and smoothed my hair, tucked it behind my ears. I gave her one final hug and ran back through the gate. But I didn't run into the house. I ran around it, past the outbuildings, through the holler, across the creek, and into the woods toward my playhouse. My feet were bare. I felt the sharpness of rocks, twigs, underbrush, but I didn't care. Nothing could hurt me more than what they'd done to me this morning.
Before I climbed the ladder to the tree house, I stopped and looked around. I was all alone in the woods. Sunlight dappled through the colorful trees. A squirrel darted away when he saw me coming. From the distance some birds were chattering in the trees. Then of a sudden they stopped and it was silent, so silent all I could hear was the beating of my own heart.
And then I felt eyes watching me.
Yeller Thing! I felt the fear crawl up my throat. I felt it in my mouth, my arms, my legs. Fear so black and terrible it ate me up right there and spit me out. I wiped my face with my hands and looked around again.
Now I heard it, a faint hissing growl, like it was setting there watching me and getting ready to leap. Had he been here all along, knowing I'd come? Or had I conjured him?
And then something else happened. I was so all-fired mad at my family, at their stupidity, their meanness to Ro, that I didn't care if Yeller Thing was there waiting for me.
"Come on and get me!" I yelled. "Come on! I don't care!"
I screamed it in the silent woods. It echoed, bounced off the trees. The roosting birds took off in fright with a flurry of beating wings, flew away, and then it was silent again.
I waited, trembling, in my cotton nightdress and bare feet. But Yeller Thing didn't come. I think if I'd of waited all day he wouldn't of come.
Coward, I thought. Only fit to scare little girls. And I climbed the steps to my playhouse. But inside myself I knew he was no coward. Settled in my safe spot, I knew that it just wasn't time yet for him to come, that was all. He wasn't ready yet. He had more plans for me. More terror for us all.
