Unless, of course, his new plan worked. There was an outside chance of that happening, but victory was not his goal. He merely wanted to die, and to die in the same manner he had lived. As a warrior. Dying as a warrior meant more to him than any achievement in his past, and certainly more than any fraud.
* * *
"Star Captain Joanna, you knew Star Commander Aidan was being given a second chance, quiaff?"
"As well you know."
The Loremaster interrupted. "There is to be no sarcasm, insult, or anger in your responses, Star Captain Joanna."
She glanced at the Loremaster. She did not know his name. He was a bit old for a warrior, with many touches of gray in his hair and weariness in his eyes.
"I am sorry, Loremaster. I intended no disrespect, but I will be more careful in my words."
"Thank you, Star Captain Joanna."
"What did you know at that time?" Lenore Shi-Lu asked.
"I knew that he was being given a second chance. I trained him in how to act his role of freebir—of freeborn. In the last days of training, I was the training officer for his unit. I was also in the BattleMech that ended his Trial after he had made the required kill."
"Then it is safe to say that you were implicated in the fraud, quiaff?"
"Aff. Quite safe to say, Inquisitor."
"How do you justify your concealment of the facts?"
"Orders. I was following the orders of Falconer Commander Ter Roshak. Furthermore, he had solicited my vow of secrecy before I knew about what he had planned."
"Once you discovered that Ter Roshak's orders were based on fraud, did it not occur to you that this released you from vows of obedience and secrecy?"
"No, it did not. Vows must be kept."
"There is not a higher vow, that owed to your Clan?"
Joanna felt trapped by Lenore Shi-Lu's grim words. "Inquisitor," she replied, "I am aware of the theories of the higher vow, and I have considered them often. But I did not want to see a capable officer destroyed, one whose record as a training officer has been, I believe, unsurpassed. I believed that Ter Roshak's abilities surpassed the higher vow, and I still do."
Ter Roshak's eyebrows shot up at Joanna's remark. He knew that she had many good warrior qualities, but had not suspected loyalty to be one of them.
"You have a unique sense of Clan philosophy, Star Commander Joanna."
"Perhaps it is because on the field a warrior must go up against scum—"
"Star Captain Joanna!" the Loremaster shouted, and she quickly apologized.
"I believed I did right," she said quietly.
"Purely out of loyalty."
"No, not just loyalty. I realized that Star Commander Aidan would not have a real warrior's life by posing as a freebirth. Even if his qualifying broke the rules, he would get no real reward for it, considering the kind of workhorse backwater assignments that would be, and have been, his destiny. I did not see any harm as long as he could not do any harm. I had not anticipated the harm he has done."
"Well-spoken, Star Captain. However, as your forced presence here shows, your action was, at the very least, questionable, quiaff?"
"Aff."
"Do you believe that Star Commander Aidan is worthy of the Bloodname he seeks?"
"With all due respect, Inquisitor, I thought that his Bloodname worthiness was not an issue in these proceedings."
Lenore Shi-Lu smiled. "You are correct, Star Captain. But most members of the council wish to know. I nevertheless withdraw the question. Let me substitute another that is also on the mind of many council members. Do you believe that Ter Roshak's actions were in any way justified?"
"No!"
"You have no sympathy with his backing of a warrior candidate whom he apparently believed to have suffered an unfortunate defeat in his Trial?"
"No! Star Commander Aidan, regardless of his considerable abilities, had failed. If a cadet fails, he gets no second chance. That is the way of the Clan."
"But he has received a second chance and done well, quiaff? Why do you remain silent? Would not the defenders of Glory Station have gone down to defeat if not for the valor of Star Commander Aidan?"
"They would. But perhaps that might have been for the best."
"Oh? Explain."
"The shame that he has brought down on the rest of the warriors of Glory Station may not be worth the victory."
"You consider defeat better than victory for reasons of, well, ethics? An intriguing view, Star Captain."
"I know nothing about ethics. I only know the shame."
"You have explained yourself honestly, Star Captain Joanna. I have no more questions."
Beck Qwabe's interrogation was brief and perfunctory. He obviously did not want to confuse the council members with any more of Joanna's strange responses, most of which were dangerous to his case. And at the moment, it looked as though any case he might conceivably make was rapidly fading from view.
As Joanna went back to her seat at the table, the Loremaster called on Aidan to bring forth his testimony. When Aidan stood up, his face was remarkably calm.
26
Aidan did not know what the outcome of this trial would be, but believed the justness of his own cause would prevail. There was a poem in one of the books of his secret library. It dealt with some old, now-forgotten hero whose strength was that of ten men because his heart was pure. Aidan could not be sure of the purity of his heart, but he did feel inordinately strong.
As Lenore Shi-Lu approached, he thought idly of what an odd pair they made—he so tall, she so small. Looking down at her, he experienced a strange attraction. It was not the first time he was attracted to a woman, of course, for there had been Marthe, Peri, and a few others he had known only briefly. This time seemed peculiar, however. This woman held his fate in her hands. He should neither respect her nor find her intriguing sexually, yet he felt both.
As Lenore Shi-Lu scanned the computer screen, Aidan took the opportunity to cast his eyes about the audience looking for Marthe. She was still there, watching impassively. And she did not look away. He wished he could talk to her.
"Star Commander Aidan," Lenore Shi-Lu said abruptly, startling him out of his reverie. The loudness and authority in her voice made his awareness of her sexuality drift away with her words. "Are you well?"
"I am fine."
"I thought we had lost you there for a moment. Before I begin my interrogation, the Loremaster informs me that he must speak to you first. Loremaster?"
The Loremaster glanced at Khan Elias Crichell, who signaled his assent with a nod. "Under the authorization of the Khan, I have made a formal poll of the members of the council," the Loremaster announced. "The outcome of the poll is that the council will agree to reduce all charges against you, including the charge of treason, in exchange for one thing."
The Loremaster paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. "If you will give up your claim to eligibility to compete for a Bloodname, we are prepared to excuse most of the other infractions. Before you respond, I must explain the reason for this unprecedented offer. Khan Elias Crichell is willing to verify your warrior status as long as you are not Blood-named. It is, he believes, a worthy compromise that endorses your performance of duty as a warrior while taking into account the fraudulent means by which you earned the status. Further, it is his judgment that, regardless of your origins, you have lost the right to compete for a Bloodname because you failed in your first and only official trial. He believes you are an estimable warrior who might ascend to the highest ranks of command. However, should you win a Bloodname, you would burden it with a serious taint. More than two-thirds of the Bloodnamed warriors present agree. What say you, Star Commander Aidan?"
Aidan's calm left him in a rush, and he wanted to let out a scream of rage. The next moment, he reminded himself of his vow to conduct himself with dignity. He did not want to give these warriors any satisfaction, any endorsement of their view that he was tainted, or a fraud, or such a coward that he
would accept this insulting offer.
"With all due respect, Loremaster, to you, to all warriors present, and to the honored Khan Elias Crichell, I cannot accept."
The rest of his speech was drowned out by the commotion that immediately erupted. Some warriors stood up, shaking their fists. A few tried to climb over their tables to rush down at him. Others merely roared their disapproval. He heard their cries as a long, scrambled message, one voice weaving in and out of another. "Freebirth! You are a disgrace to . . . right have you to dishonor the . . . to be strangled until your face turns . . . guts ripped out and eaten by . . . dare you refuse the Khan's generous and . . . will kill you! I will ... cut them into a thousand pieces and—"
It was all the Loremaster could do to bring the uproar to a semblance of order. It took a long time, during which Aidan stood impassively, not looking at anyone, but not looking down either.
Joanna was impressed. Aidan kept surprising her, and this was one of the best shocks yet. She almost admired him for it. She knew that the offer, though presented in generous terms, was absurd, offensive. How could any trueborn warrior accept it? From the moment a trueborn dropped from the canister, he or she was geared to fulfill his or her destiny, especially through prowess in warfare, with the single goal of earning a Bloodname and contributing to the sacred gene pool.
The council's gesture was political, an attempt to extricate the Clan leadership from a serious dilemma. But Aidan had probably doomed himself with his refusal. Sentiment would go even stronger against him now. The Khan had backed him into a corner and directed the vote. This council session would, in effect, block Aidan from going after the Bloodname. Khan Elias Crichell was known for crafty political strategies. Well, Joanna thought, he had just brought off another coup.
Though some warriors continued to squirm in agitation, all the while speaking to one another in angry whispers, the room returned to relative quiet. Lenore Shi-Lu began her interrogation. Her first questions concerned autobiographical details, which Aidan provided succinctly and without emotion.
"Star Commander Aidan," she said suddenly and with no preparatory questions, "when you were posing as a freeborn here on Ironhold, were you aware Ter Roshak had violated Clan law?"
"I knew that I was not supposed to receive a second chance."
"Yet you took it when offered, quiaff?"
"Aff. I only wanted to be a warrior. I had failed the first time because I was too bold. If not for that, I would have succeeded in my Trial."
"You would have won, you say, if you had modified your strategy. Yet, how can a Clan warrior be too bold? Can you answer that?"
"No. I cannot. I believe I misstated. I lost, as cadets do, because I deserved to lose. I accept that."
"As you so easily accepted the second Trial."
"Yes, I suppose you could put it that way. Inquisitor, I have been a warrior for a while now. As a warrior, I can look back on that time and say, in all honesty, that I should have not been granted a second chance. But I also believe it is too late for the Clan to renege. I have served the Jade Falcons well, and as a warrior."
"Then in your estimation, pragmatism replaces proper procedure, quiaff?"
"Aff. Whatever happens here, I am a warrior."
Though spoken softly, Aidan's words reverberated through the chamber, which immediately erupted into a new babble of protests.
Aidan stood, alone and calm, at the center of a whirlwind. Joanna, in spite of herself, admired him.
He was right in a way, she thought. His brand of defiance, of standing up to others, of speaking his mind at all costs—that too was part of the Clan. The refusal to step back, that was the way of the Clan as much as any other rite or custom. Aidan never stepped back. Who could expect him to do so now, renouncing the means by which he had earned his warrior status? Though such speculation might upset some of the assembled warriors, it made perfect sense to Joanna.
In a strange way, Aidan is my ally, she thought. The two of us are much alike. Perhaps that is why I hate him more than any other. And perhaps that is why my destiny seems so entwined with his.
Aidan's responses to Lenore Shi-Lu's subsequent questions were desultory. No, he had not known how Ter Roshak had manipulated the events leading to his second chance. Yes, he had suspected chicanery and confronted Ter Roshak with his suspicions. No, Ter Roshak had admitted nothing of substance to Aidan. (Ter Roshak, almost everyone knew, would have been too shrewd to make that error.) Yes, the Trial of Position had been run fairly, and he had earned his warrior status through superior strategy.
Beck Qwabe's few questions added little to Aidan's testimony. When Aidan returned to his place at the table, he did not quaver before the rumble of sustained hatred against him; his calm remained. During his interrogation, he had not become ruffled, an achievement that—for Aidan—approached the superhuman. He knew what he would do, and as he heard the Lore-master calling Roshak's name, he already suspected what Ter Roshak would do.
The man stood up. His spine erect and his shoulders militarily straight, for the first time he looked like the Roshak of old.
27
"Ter Roshak? Did I hear you right? Do you mean to tell us that your motives for the crime of which you are accused were both honorable and benevolent?"
The usually detached Loremaster could not keep the disbelief from his voice. He had interrupted Lenore Shi-Lu's current line of questioning with more abruptness and less politeness than was his usual wont.
"That is correct, Loremaster."
"Ter Roshak, as a Bloodnamed warrior with a fine combat record, we must listen to your defense, but I must say that I fail to see how the terms you propose offer any justification of your acts."
"If you will hear me out, Loremaster."
"By all means. Go on."
Roshak glanced at the tiers of Jade Falcon warriors, most of whom were leaning forward with expressions of doubt on their faces.
"It has been said repeatedly during these proceedings that I arranged for Cadet Aidan's second trial because of some special potential I saw in him. Though I did recognize such potential, it was not sufficient to merit a violation of Clan law to award him a second chance. I have seen too many cadets with just as much potential end up in lower castes or dead on a scarred battlefield. If anything, Cadet Aidan's potential was almost negated by his cocksure, rash, often arrogant tactics. Daring too much may sometimes result in impressive individual heroism, but it is more likely to lead to overbidding, then humiliation in battle.
"In his official trial he came close to qualifying, but fate took his chance away. I have often believed the Clans should provide a second Trial for certain cadets, but I would not have gone against Clan law and custom for any but the most extraordinary reasons."
"It is to learn those, as you say, extraordinary reasons that we wait with bated breath," Lenore Shi-Lu commented drily. "Please abridge your prologue to the main points and provide us the evidence we require."
"I am sorry. I had wished to be as meticulous in my testimony as the Inquisitor is meticulous in her questioning."
"Flattery is an Inner Sphere weakness, Ter Roshak. Please continue without it."
"Yes. Just a bit more prologue, if you please. It is significant to this case that I previously served with Ramon Mattlov, one of the greatest Galaxy Commanders in Jade Falcon history."
Lenore Shi-Lu tapped something onto the keyboard of the computer console set into the main table, then scanned the monitor. "Mattlov is the male progenitor of Star Commander Aidan's sibko, quiaff?"
"Aff. He was a great hero in his life, Ramon Mattlov, and I watched him die as one. When I left warrior duty and took command of the Ironhold training center, I dedicated my service to him. Indeed, Ramon Mattlov was often in my thoughts as I went about my duties. I considered his views whenever I made my own decisions, and in my briefings and meetings with my training officers, I often repeated Ramon Mattlov's views and beliefs verbatim. There were times—and I must ask the council's in
dulgence for uttering such unClanlike sentiments in this official session—when I almost believed I was Ramon Mattlov. I would dress down a cadet just as he would have, I would demonstrate a fighting technique exactly as he had demonstrated it to me, I would conduct surprise inspections just as brutally as he did."
Perhaps, Joanna thought, you also got falling-down-drunk just like Ramon Mattlov, mistreated your subordinates just like Ramon Mattlov, foolishly defied fate just like Ramon Mattlov.
For once Lenore Shi-Lu seemed ill-at-ease. She glanced toward the Loremaster for guidance, but his attention was so focused on Roshak that he did not notice her silent plea. Finally, she turned back to Roshak: "I am sorry for being obtuse, Falconer Commander, but perhaps you can explain how this—may I call it obsession?—with Ramon Mattlov relates to the accusations and concerns of this assembly?"
"It will become clear."
"I am relieved. Go on, sir."
Roshak paused for a moment, seeming lost in his thoughts. Actually, he was marshalling them into ranks so that he could march them past the council members with military precision.
"On the day Cadet Aidan's sibko arrived on Iron-hold, I thought I was seeing a ghost when I looked at the young man. It was as though Ramon Mattlov, a bit younger than when I had first known him, were back in the flesh before me. Oh, others in the sibko also resembled my former comrade. That was only natural in a group with the same genetic background. Another one of them, a young woman, also strikingly resembled Ramon Mattlov. She is among us now, an honorable warrior who has won the right to the Pryde Bloodname."
A few in the audience glanced at Marthe, who showed no expression.
"But I saw something more in Cadet Aidan than a mere resemblance. At first sight I almost believed he was the reincarnation of Ramon Mattlov."
The gathered Clan warriors muttered at this last statement, which seemed a clear indication that Ter Roshak was mad. Insanity among Clan warriors was rare, but not unknown.
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