Fangs for Nothing tf-2

by Erin McCarthy

  He paused, trying to think of the right thing to say, when he heard her say to herself, “This was not how this job was supposed to go. How the hell am I going to get the money now?”

  Drake frowned. This job? The money? What was she talking about? Then a memory, although somewhat hazy, came back to him. One of the last he remembered from last night. Josie Lynn taking money. Taking money for what?

  Could Josie Lynn be involved in whatever had happened to cause their memory loss? And now that he thought about it, where was all their stuff? His wallet was gone. His cell phone. Hell, even his pants. Maybe they hadn’t been just misplaced during a night of debauchery. And he imagined everyone else’s stuff was gone, too. Had this been a robbery of some sort? And was Josie Lynn somehow involved?

  If she was, the plan had clearly backfired, at least for her. But she was involved in something. He knew he’d seen her take money and let some people in the back door. He thought about the people he’d seen, trying to remember what they looked like.

  They’d looked like … Cher. Multiple Chers.

  He frowned. Maybe the drug had already started to take effect at that point. Chers. That couldn’t be right.

  He looked at Josie Lynn, who was again chewing at her lower lip and looking very, very anxious. Whether his memory of Cher en masse was accurate or not, one thing was for certain; he wasn’t letting Cupcake out of his sight until he got the truth.

  *

  JOSIE LYNN STARED at the motionless body of the bride, Zelda.

  Well, there was no denying this bride would remember her wedding night. Or if she was like the rest of them, remember that she didn’t remember her wedding night. Josie Lynn was also pretty sure she wasn’t going to be pleased to find her wedding dress, her gifts, and her groom for God’s sake, all missing. This was a nightmare.

  Josie Lynn wondered if all of her catering supplies were gone, too. Her cookie tins and serving platters. Her mixing bowls and serving spoons. Everything could very well be gone, and she had no means to replace it. She didn’t see how she could recover from another major financial hit. If those items were all gone—stolen or whatever happened to them—she didn’t think she could salvage her catering career. If she could anyway. It was safe to say the bride and groom probably weren’t going to have anything positive to say about their wedding reception, period.

  So much for rave reviews.

  She immediately felt selfish. Everyone had lost things last night. And a person was missing. That was far more serious than her nonstick pots and pans.

  She curled her arms tighter around herself. And there was another niggling thought that wouldn’t leave her mind. What if she was somehow inadvertently involved? Everything had gone crazy after she let those transvestites into the reception. But how could they be involved in the drugging? After all, they’d just entered the party moments before Josie Lynn had started to feel so funny.

  It didn’t make sense.

  But Josie Lynn didn’t have time to ponder other explanations, because her thoughts were interrupted by the other guy, Johnny, she thought she heard his name was, shouting to the pirate.

  “Hey Drake, there’s an alligator in the hallway, so be careful.”

  An alligator? In the hallway? This had to be a joke, right?

  She looked over at the pirate—Drake, who was regarding her rather than reacting to what his friend had said. Looking at her? Rather than reacting to a deadly reptile on the loose? She didn’t think that could be a good sign.

  He walked back over to her, and he obviously hadn’t found anything to use as pants or a diaper or even a loincloth. But she must have been growing accustomed to his state of undress, because she was definitely more concerned about the expression on his face than his wiener hanging out.

  “Did they say alligator?” she said once he got closer.

  He nodded.

  She looked toward the other couple just as they called out they were leaving.

  Josie Lynn gave Drake a startled look. “They are going into the hallway with the alligator? Do you think that’s a wise idea?”

  “They’ll be fine,” he said, almost as if he were distracted. But still, there was an alligator out there. She’d grown up on the bayou and knew gators were no joke. And frankly, that French woman didn’t look like she could hold her own with a kitten, much less a vicious beast with a gazillion teeth and a jaw like a steel trap.

  “I’m not sure they should go out there,” she said, and again he repeated that they would be fine.

  She watched the door close behind the couple, feeling certain she would soon be hearing shrieks of terror and pain.

  “Who were those people you let in the back door at the reception?”

  Josie Lynn’s stomach dropped and all thoughts of impending gator death vanished. Slowly she looked back to Drake. He’d seen her take the money. Great, he thought she was involved. Hell, she thought she might be involved, too, but purely by accident.

  “They were a group of transvestites who said they were friends of the bride.”

  “All dressed like Cher, right?”

  Josie Lynn nodded, and he looked almost relieved, but that expression quickly faded as his dark eyes narrowed with suspicion.

  “You didn’t think it was weird a group of trannies wanted to come in through the back door?”

  “Yes I did, but they said they wanted to surprise the bride, and given what the rest of the wedding guests looked like”—she gestured to the shirt she now wore, his shirt—“I didn’t think it was terribly weird that transvestites all dressed like Cher would be her friends.”

  He didn’t argue that, but he did bring up the very thing that had troubled her for the moment it happened.

  “So why did they give you money?”

  She had wondered that, too. Would they have done that if they were just friends? There was something rather desperate about that action. And she’d been rather desperate to take the money.

  “They just offered it to me as—a way of thanks, I guess.”

  “Or as a payoff.”

  “No,” she said shaking her head, even though she wasn’t sure that wasn’t what it was.

  “And we’ve already figured out the one thing we have in common is the punch. And who made the punch?” He gave her a pointed look.

  Josie Lynn gaped at him. Now that she knew she’d had no part in. “I did not tamper with the punch.”

  “Well, you’re going to say that, aren’t you?”

  “But I didn’t. That punch was right out in the open on the buffet table. Anyone could have laced it. Besides I drank some, too. Why would I drug myself?”

  “It’s a pretty good alibi,” he said, eyeing her even more distrustfully. “If you are drugged-out and with us, then your band of Chers can do the dirty work and split the money with you at a later date.”

  “That isn’t what’s going on. My stuff is missing, too. Including the money they gave me for letting them in.” She frantically gestured to the fact that all she wore was his shirt. She had nothing, just like everyone else. Except—

  “That Frenchwoman with your friend. Who is she? And why is she the only one who has a purse? Or a cell phone? Maybe she’s somehow involved.”

  He seemed to consider her suggestion, then shrugged as if he didn’t really care and he’d already made up his mind that Josie Lynn was the culprit.

  “The way I see it, there is only one solid lead, and that’s to find the Chers and find out what they did with all the stuff you guys stole.”

  “I didn’t steal anything,” she insisted more frantically. He had to believe her. His accusation was a whole lot worse than just losing her catering company. If he told his friends about her taking the money and his theory that she was involved, who were they going to believe? Even she could admit that she looked like a likely suspect.

  “I want to help you find them,” she said, knowing she had to locate these guys—gals—to clear her own name.

  “Oh, I have no intention of
letting you out of my sight,” he informed her. “A woman who is willing to drug herself, even sleep with one of her victims—”

  “One of my victims!” she exclaimed. He could not be serious. “You are not one of my victims. If anything, I was your victim. You forced yourself on me at the reception. You grabbed me and kissed me.”

  “I seem to recall you grabbing me and kissing me, too,” he pointed out.

  “One of my many stupid mistakes last night,” she muttered.

  “Like getting involved with underworld Chers, who got you to do their dirty work, then left you out to dry?”

  She clenched her teeth and groaned. There was no point defending herself to his man. He’d clearly already made up his mind about her, and the only way to defend herself was to find the Chers and find out the truth.

  Which meant staying with this jerk. Great. And she likely did have sex with him last night. This was just great.

  Behind them she heard the door open. She turned, expecting to see the handcuffed couple darting back into the room, but instead two women sauntered in looking so calm that Josie Lynn wondered if the alligator had somehow gotten out of the hallway and was now lying in wait somewhere else.

  One of the women was tall and svelte with red hair and pale skin, while the other was petite and almost waifish with blond hair and a wide smile. They were both stunning and utterly unfazed by the scene before them.

  “Drake, how unusual to see you with your pants down,” the blonde said with a laugh.

  Drake gave her a look, although Josie Lynn could see fondness in the grimace. “Isn’t that part of the fun of living with me, Katie?”

  This Katie lived with him? Josie Lynn suddenly felt all the more self-conscious to be standing there in nothing but his shirt. Although the blonde didn’t look upset. Maybe they were truly roommates. Maybe they had an open relationship. But no maybe about it, Josie Lynn did not like the sharp pang of jealousy that had shot through her when he’d said they lived together.

  Why the hell would she be jealous—or feel anything for that matter—for this jerk? He was accusing her of being a thief, for God’s sake.

  The redhead stepped closer to him and tilted her head, inspecting his look, then said, “It’s not really ‘with your pants down.’ They don’t seem to be intact. What are you wearing?”

  “They are chaps, Stella,” Drake said with the odd air of haughty dignity that he seemed to acquire every so often. “I would think being married to a cowboy, you’d be quite familiar with them.”

  Stella laughed. “Well he never wears them like that, that’s for sure.”

  “See what you’re missing,” Drake stated. Clearly done with the women’s teasing, he gestured to the prone bride. “Zelda is over there. She’s breathing, but I do think she should be brought to the hospital.”

  Josie Lynn wondered how he knew she was breathing. As far as she’d seen, he hadn’t gotten anywhere near her.

  “Hi,” the blonde said, suddenly appearing at Josie Lynn’s side with her hand extended. “I’m Katie Cortez. I live with Drake. I’m married to one of his best friends.”

  Josie Lynn ignored the wave of relief that washed over her as unexpectedly as the jealousy had.

  You just don’t want to have had a potential one-night stand with a man who was involved with another woman, she assured herself, not quite believing the reasoning even as she thought it.

  She accepted the blonde’s hand. Her fingers were small and cool.

  “And they are also in the band together. Maybe you’ve met my husband. Cort?”

  Josie Lynn shook her head. It was on the tip of her tongue to say she didn’t even know Drake was in a band, but she didn’t want to reveal to this clearly nice woman that she was in a sex dungeon with a man she didn’t really know. And again, wearing nothing but his shirt.

  “Okay,” Stella said, drawing everyone’s attention to her. For which Josie Lynn was very grateful. “I know where Zelda and Saxon’s room is—”

  “I’m not even going to ask why you know that,” Drake said wryly.

  “Because I’ve come over to feed Waldo, you perv,” Stella said.

  “Waldo?” he asked.

  “The alligator.”

  “You knew about the alligator?” he asked, surprised.

  “Yeah, it was Saxon’s one-year anniversary gift to Zelda. Although he’s normally not hanging out in the hallway,” Stella said. “Anyway, their room is two doors down on the right. Drake, go get Zelda some clothes. And something for yourself while you’re at it.”

  “Like Saxon’s clothes will fit me,” he said.

  “But Zelda’s probably will,” Katie pointed out.

  Josie Lynn actually smiled slightly at the horrified expression on Drake’s face. God, this was all so weird.

  “Okay,” Drake said, once recovered from the idea of wearing Zelda’s clothes. “Josie Lynn and I will go do that. While you figure out the best way to get Zelda to the hospital.”

  “Don’t you think maybe Josie Lynn should stay here?” Stella said, giving Drake a look Josie Lynn didn’t quite understand, but she wondered if the redhead somehow knew he thought she was a part of last night’s debacle. Although Josie Lynn didn’t know how she would know. Drake couldn’t have told her. Maybe nerves were just getting to her.

  “You know she’ll be fine with me,” Drake said again with that haughty air.

  Stella looked like she wanted to argue, but then just shrugged. Clearly she knew that it would be a waste of breath to argue with him. Josie Lynn had already figured that out about him, too.

  “Just be careful. Waldo is a little cranky.”

  Not just Waldo, all gators, Josie Lynn thought reluctantly following Drake to the door, but not before grabbing a bungee cord that dangled down from the bottom of the sex swing. She didn’t know what it was for on the swing, but she knew it just might come in handy when facing Waldo.

  Chapter Seven

  LOVE BITES, LOVE BLEEDS

  D RAKE hesitated just slightly before he opened the door. He wasn’t scared about the alligator for himself. Shit, he was a vampire. He could take his knocks, even from a wannabe dinosaur. But Josie Lynn was another story. Being human, one bite could be fatal. And that scared him. A lot.

  More than he really understood, actually. Sure, he wouldn’t want to see anyone maimed and killed by an alligator, but the idea of Cupcake getting hurt. That really bothered him.

  Because you want to see her brought to justice in a way Captain Morgan never had been, he told himself. This was about a lying woman getting what she deserved. This was about comeuppance.

  Or so he would tell himself.

  Slowly he opened the door, and there Waldo lay, his back to them, looking more like a stuffed gator than the real McCoy. Unfortunately he was dead center in the hallway, making it hard to stay to one side of him. They were going to have to get pretty damn close to him to make it past.

  So that meant one thing; he was going to have to go first. That way if Waldo decided to go all prehistoric, he’d hopefully attack Drake first, while Josie Lynn fled to safety.

  “Follow me,” he said, whispering, though he wasn’t sure why. Did alligators even have ears?

  “Maybe I should go first,” Josie Lynn suggested, and Drake shot her an astonished look. Was she crazy? That would be like sending old Waldo an appetizer.

  “No way.” He stepped out the door, staying to the left of the hallway, since that seemed to be the side with the most space between the wall and the animal. He walked carefully, being as quiet as he could. Which was very quiet. That whole vampire thing.

  Behind him Josie Lynn was being quiet, too, although he could hear the soft pats of her feet on the bare wood. He just hoped his vampire hearing was more acute than the alligator’s.

  Once he reached the beast, he debated where the best place to step was. It was like a bizarre game of Twister, except in this game if you didn’t pick the right spot, you didn’t collapse into a tangled pile of limbs
and laughter. In this game, you just lost a limb.

  He carefully took a step over the curve of the gator’s tail. Then another over his back leg. So far, so good. Waldo hadn’t even twitched. He took another small step, bringing him up to Waldo’s front leg. At this point the best bet seemed to be to quickly step over that front leg, then run as fast as possible past his head and the long snout.

  He looked over his shoulder to tell Josie Lynn his strategy, and that was the exact moment he heard the swish of Waldo’s scaly skin on the floor and a noise that was somewhere between a snarl and a hiss.

  Then Drake was on the floor right beside the beast. Shit, the damn thing had swung its head and knocked him down. Now he was right near that huge mouth, stuck between the animal’s side and the wall.

  He lay still for a second, debating at this angle if he could shove himself backward fast enough to avoid those teeth. His vampire abilities made him very fast, but this was a weird position.

  But before he could do anything, Josie Lynn was on top of the gator, her bare legs straddling its back. She lay down on the beast, pressing both her forearms down as hard as she could on the alligator’s snout.

  “What the hell are you doing?” he cried.

  “Shut up,” she yelled back. “Take this cord and wrap it around his snout.”

  Drake didn’t argue, taking the bungee cord from her and circling it quickly around the alligator’s long nose and mouth.

  “Higher up,” she said, still using all her strength to keep his huge jaws shut. “That’s it.”

  When it was secured, Josie Lynn sat up, still straddling the beast, her legs bare and her coffee-colored hair tangled around her face. Her chest rose and fell as she struggled to catch her breath.

  Holy shit, she was sexy.

  His dick shot straight up against his stomach, painfully hard and swollen, but fortunately she didn’t seem to notice.

  “How—how the hell did you learn to do that?” he asked, struggling to catch his own breath.

  She smiled then, the first time he’d seen her genuinely smile.