by Zack Parker
Dynamite is an excellent example of potential. On its own, dynamite is nothing more than a paperweight. It requires a source of substantial enough heat energy for its potential to be released. When this happens, we find that our paperweight had more potential for change locked up within itself than we could ever have imagined. Remember though, it first had to be exposed to the heat. For humans, especially with adults, the release of potential usually requires a firm decision followed by action. However, as adults, we develop routines and become dependent on them. Our will to stick to these routines can become so strong that they can significantly limit the likelihood that we will be exposed to something unexpected and new. Without this exposure, the chance of drawing something unknown from deep within ourselves becomes slim at best. We must be willing to step out of our comfort zones and open our lives to exposure. It is our responsibility to avoid procrastination and the never-ending routines. Very rarely is someone going to force exposure upon us and help bring about the changes we seek. Not as adults anyway.
Being pushed into the unknown is something that happened more often when we were children. At a very young age, we were pushed into different areas of unfamiliarity by supervising adults. Once exposed, we eventually came to realize we had talents and that some things came more natural to us than it did for others. This discovery of talent or skill has happened to us all at some point. We find that perhaps we are good with math, writing, drawing, singing, dancing, or even politics. We play a sport only to find we are better at it than those around us. We may discover we enjoy public speaking when it is terrifying for almost everyone else. But, most of the time during childhood, we were not actively in pursuit of being better humans. We just came to find that we had potential in specific areas as a result of forced exposure, and a small glimpse of our potential was revealed. As adults, we must understand that it is our responsibility to step out of our comfort zones and pursue the unknown. We will never know what will bring about success and joy in our lives until we have exposed ourselves to the proper stimulus. Remember that we can expose the dynamite to wind, water, cold, or anything else, but until it comes in contact with the right amount of heat, its potential will remain a secret.
Actively seeking to be more can reveal potential in ourselves that perhaps we were utterly unaware of. Don’t be confused and think potential is only revealed through financial success or career growth. You may have within you the potential to be a great father, mother, mentor, boss, employee, or friend. The possibilities are limitless. There is only one way to find out: You must expose yourself to the world of stimulus. How often do we procrastinate, causing us to postpone our future? How much time do we spend silently struggling with the current conditions of our lives? How much time do we waste putting ourselves under stress and anxiety, just sitting and thinking about why things have not happened for us yet? Think about the foolish nature of this situation. Sitting, doing nothing, and wondering why nothing is happening? The answer is obvious, I hope! The time that we spend worrying about our future, regretting our past, or anguishing over whether or not we are behind in life can easily be repurposed and used constructively, but we must first see clearly what needs to be done and then make a firm decision upon change. It is then that our potential just might be able to expose itself.
Did you know that the average person spends almost seven years of their lives in a worried state? That’s on average! For those of us who know ourselves to be serious procrastinators, the actual number could be two or even three times that amount. Now imagine if you could get that time back. There would be ample time to make substantial changes to your life. Well, I have good news for you. You don’t have to get it back. You already have it. It’s right here with you, right now! It is hidden behind your next decision. Your potential sits and awaits its release. Decide what you want and then begin to act.
I need for you to understand a simple truth about reaching and unleashing your potential: You live right inside of this opportunity for the entire span of your life. You have never missed out on your chance, and it will always be there for you to pursue. It’s not too late! As long as you have breath in your body, your potential will wait. Having this realization can offer substantial insight into what we have to work with every day. You have today! You may not want to admit it, but we all have extra time to pursue our hopes and dreams. Do not fill yourself with false truths like there being no money or time with which to begin to reshape your reality. Effort and belief are the only resources that are usually found in short supply. We all have indulgences. Perhaps it is money spent out with friends or time on the couch watching television every day to unwind. We eat fast food instead of buying in bulk and rationalize lazy days as something we deserve. Over the years these occurrences begin to consume substantial quantities of our time and money. It was our decision on each of those occasions that have accumulated to create the existence we find ourselves in today. By deciding upon action and taking advantage of more of your idle time, you can little by little start to unlock more of your unused potential.
Now that you have this possible change in perspective, I hope you will feel differently the next time you know you could be accomplishing something but decide to remain the same. It is your decision. What you become is no more complicated than that. I’m not saying I never relax or take a day off. I do! We all need to rest and reset from time to time. However, if the quality of your life is diminished because of feelings of decreased self-worth or regret over inaction, then it is madness to not change your ways. If you are unsatisfied with your life and still decide to be idle then your lack of success and happiness can be no one’s fault but your own. Feel your potential within you. Meditate upon it. Pursue your interests and keep your mind open to new opportunities. Seek out your life instead of surviving it and always remember, “You’ve got so much potential! If you would only apply yourself.”
Chapter 3
Comfort Zones
F rom the time we are born, until the day we pass on, one thing that happens to almost all of us is that we form routines in our lives. Within these routines, we decide how our days will play out and how to spend our time. It is through the formation of routines that we develop a small degree of control over our existence. We determine what needs to be done and how to prioritize it. The power of the ritual can allow us to make steady progress towards achieving our goals. The establishment of order and structure are essential components in the creation of a plan and its execution. However, these rituals can become so powerful for some, that they are almost impossible to break. They slowly limit our abilities to be spontaneous and to try new things. New experienced in our lives are some of the greatest stimulators of change and must not be eliminated or overly suppressed. Unfortunately for most, this suppression is part of their natural course of personal development. What we do becomes more defined and what we will allow ourselves to do becomes more restricted. As this happens, we slowly begin to develop our personal comfort zones.
As I said before, rituals are powerful tools, but comfort zones can become traps that confine our reality and limit our growth. The saddest part about comfort zones is that as they slowly and subtly develop over time, many of us never realize they even exist. These comfort zones naturally become significant defining aspects of who we are and what kind of life we live. Because of these slow transitions, most people never even realize they have become limited in what they allow themselves to experience in their life. You may not be able to see grass grow but rest assured it is growing, and if not attended to, will undoubtedly become out of control. This slow but steady type of progression can create security up to a point, but eventually, it will become suffocating. However, in our minds, we are masters of our universe and ahead of the curve; entirely justified, with deep roots in our personal belief system. As this security sets in, change becomes nonsense, ridiculous, or even terrifying for some. The individuals that fall prey to this process are not at fault; they are merely a victim of human nature. We have within
us a deep-rooted desire for safety and structure. These instincts, handed down from our much less fortunate ancestors, were the only reason that most of them survived. Survival and reproduction used to be the highest goals that most people could aspire to in their life. Luckily, for most of us, this is currently not the case. As a species, we have become extremely capable of survival, and yet, we are still so consumed by these instincts that many of us miss out on the most significant advantage of our times. We miss out on the chance to thrive!
There is a term called Cognitive Dissonance that describes what happens in our minds when we are confronted with something that challenges our belief systems. It is the mental conflict that occurs when new information contradicts our beliefs or assumptions. The concept was introduced in the late 1950s by the psychologist Leon Festinger. He and later researchers showed that when confronted with challenging new information, most people seek to preserve their current understanding of the world by rejecting, explaining away, avoiding the new information, or by convincing themselves that no conflict even exists. Our minds have this mechanism that for some reason, immediately causes us to resist the agents of change. We almost instantaneously begin to refute something new and rationalize away the need for any new idea that might have an impact on our well developed and structured lives and belief systems. We have all seen this happen to others and whether we want to admit it or not, we are guilty of cognitive dissonance ourselves. The scary thing about this is that if we are not consciously aware of this phenomenon, it will slowly limit our ability to grow and prosper. Cognitive dissonance will work its magic to create one comfort zone after another.
I need to make a disclaimer. I'm not saying there is something wrong with finding comfort in the lives we live. What I'm trying to make you aware of is that, if we allow it, a closed-minded life will cause these comfort zones to slowly, but inevitably, shrink! These shrinking comfort zones are heavily protected! Protected by sayings like "You can't teach an old dog a new trick," "That's how I was raised," or "I just don't do that!" As ironclad as these statements or excuses can seem, they are mostly just forms of vocalized fear created by slowly shrinking comfort zones.
My wife introduced me to a saying a while back that I completely agree with. "Life begins outside of your comfort zone!" This is so true. If you think back to the more memorable moments of your life, what you may realize is that the majority of the most outstanding memories were created when you were outside of your usual routine. Average days become so simple that they fade away into those grey areas of our memory banks that never warrant reflection or consideration. True stimulation is always found on the outskirts or entirely outside of our comfort zones.
The only reason our species can exist to the degree we do is because of the people who were willing to step out of their comfort zone and make changes. It is the accumulation of these changes that have brought about empires, industries, philosophies, and religions; none of which were forged overnight! It was one small step after another that expanded the comfort zone of man out of their caves and into the brilliant world that we currently inhabit. You must apply this same philosophy, the same one that has slowly molded and changed our species, and allow it to bring about change and personal growth in your own life. Don't expect to make one step out of your comfort zones and start seeing rapid transformative effects on your life. However, do plan to have a new story to tell or to acquire more wisdom to pass on. Realize that in the same way our species has grown, so shall you grow.
One important thing to realize is that all types of comfort zones can create limitations in our lives. Many of them are handed down from generation to generation. This makes them so much harder to acknowledge, let alone step out of and change! So only through thorough self-analysis can we begin to open our eyes and merely peek through the keyhole at a new version of our lives. A version without limits! In the following paragraphs, I will discuss some of the possible areas in your life where you may have comfort zones. Some of these may be limiting your joy in life, but some of them could very well be killing you!
The first comfort zone I would like to discuss is of the physical nature. These dictate the mindset that we allow to guide our view of our bodily health. If there is anywhere we will establish comfort zones, it's here! So easily we rationalize our dietary, exercise, and health-related decision making. Most of us do so in such an extreme way that we allow for lifestyles that put us at risk of life-threatening disease or injury. The sad part is most of us know exactly what we are doing, but for some reason continue to make exceptions and carry on as if we are ignorant! We do this with the thought firmly planted in the back of our minds that "one day I will change." Unfortunately for most, one day usually comes too late. Our physical comfort zones become so defined that we will even defy what we know to be true to avoid the uncomfortable nature of change. It is here where you must be willing to accept fact over opinion and embrace the changes you know to be necessary.
Working in the physical therapy field has exposed me to just about every excuse in the book. One of the best is "I can't!" I have a rule; the rule states that if you’re going to say "I can't" then you have to finish the statement with "yet." That puts a whole new spin on the mindset. People are too quick to rule things out when those things may threaten their precious comfort zones. As a species, we tend to focus on our strengths and starve our weaknesses. This type of practice creates an imbalance in any system you place it in. These imbalances eventually cause our weaknesses to become disabilities, and that has adverse effects on the entire system. You must learn to focus on your weaknesses and turn them into strengths. If you do this, it will help you to establish balance in your life. Regardless of whether we are talking about changing our diets or changing our exercise routines, we must be aware of our ironclad excuses and realize that they are like a house of cards; steady when left alone but easily destroyed when action is taken against them.
The comfort zone that I seem to personally struggle with the most as I age is social comfort zones. These dictate who we will spend time with and where, and when we will allow for our social lives to happen. For most of us, these tend to shrink significantly as we age. Trust can be so hard to establish later in life. This lack of trust can be a substantial limiter on whom we allow ourselves to be exposed to and who we inevitably form relationships with. Don't forget, you may have a best friend out there that you have not met yet! Or perhaps a husband, a wife, or even a mentor. I understand that being in the presence of groups of strangers or even friends can be serious sources of anxiety for many, but we cannot allow this mental anticipation to restrict our exposure to the countless blessings that a new and positive relationship can bring into our lives. Social anxiety seems to be such a limiting factor for so many in this day of “talk-to-text” and video chat. Real interaction and the type of intimacy that comes with it are irreplaceable. As previously stated, this is an area of weakness for me, but I have the knowledge of what is going to happen if I avoid this weakness and that is the very key to my social salvation: The knowledge. We must accept that as time passes, our social comfort zones will naturally shrink. Once this is understood and accepted, we can begin to make a change. We can act preventatively! One of the main characteristics that separate us from animals is our ability to step outside of the natural order of things and consciously make positive changes in our lives.
One of the most powerful testaments to our deep need for social interaction can be found in our prison systems. Socially, this environment seems like it would be about as bad as it gets. However, take a person, separate them from their friends and family, and lock them up in a fortress that is filled with nothing but the most psychologically damaged criminals society has to offer, and the worst thing you can do is place them in solitary confinement. Even in that environment, social interaction is a necessity. Fortunately for most, this prison existence is never experienced. Most of us are free to do what we will, but some of us let ourselves forget the prison cell that can be constru
cted within the mind. It is a most private place that can be more restrictive than any physical cell. Unfortunately, there are millions of free, mentally stable, productive members of society that have all but placed themselves in a solitary confinement-like state by simply allowing their social comfort zones to shrink over time. Remember, life requires much more space, not only in the physical world but more importantly in the mind. You must open your mind to new ideas and your days to new experiences! We only have so many days to live after all! You know that right?
I have saved spiritual comfort zones for last because I believe this to be the area that delivers the most substantial level of anxiety when the limits of this comfort zone are reached. Not only are these comfort zones passed from generation to generation but there are usually perceived consequences associated with a personalized opinion regarding one's spiritual belief system in the area. Conformity is pushed in these areas with more zeal than any other and yet, anxiety and unrest regarding spiritual matters seem to be at cataclysmic levels across our species. The need to connect leads us into the herd of religion. Once heavily involved, what is usually found is social acceptance without spiritual satisfaction. In my personal experience, it is the connections with God outside of my comfort zones that have offered me the most enlightenment. Just remember the Golden Rule and treat others how you wish to be treated. If you practice this, you may find that you judge your own inquisitive nature much less harshly.
