by Zack Parker
On its own, our want will lead to our destruction if we let it occupy too much of our mental space. As animals, we are nothing but want. We must use our higher brain and practice conscious control of want to decide what is truly needed and within our grasp. It is then that we must take decisive action towards the achievement of those goals. Merely wanting will lead to failure. You must act and practice follow-through on a consistent basis if you are to obtain your heart’s desire.
You must also learn to see failure in a different light. Failure is a tool by which we learn, develop patience, and acquire the skills necessary to help both ourselves and others. Every step taken up a ladder is a failure to reach the top, but with consistent follow-through, all the failed steps on the way eventually lead to our success. Remember, success is never ultimate in this life! For only upon achievement can we begin to envision a higher goal.
My friend! Please do not get caught up in frustration. Get caught up in life! Frustration leads to discontentment and reduces motivation. By combining spiritual and physical follow-through, we find a balance in life. When we find balance in life, we find ease and contentment in our existence. Being content allows us to peacefully pursue our goals without fear of failure. The fear of failure is the most significant cause of procrastination and lack of follow-through that you will find in this life. Remember that there are countless individuals who no longer have a life to live, for their time has passed. But you, you are living! Every moment of your existence represents an opportunity. Please love life, because without it, you are nothing. Make plans, follow through, succeed, fail, and love every minute. Never forget to cherish your journey because it is the only thing in this universe that is truly yours. Always seek greater joy and a deeper connection to the unknown, and always, always follow through.
Chapter 6
Discomfort and Adjustment
T his chapter will probably be one of the easiest to grasp in this book. How deeply you understand this concept is entirely up to you though. I think anyone who has been alive long enough to make memories is fully aware of the feeling of discomfort. It's anything that grabbed our attention in a way that makes us want to adjust. It's change. Discomfort can be something as simple as having our car keys turn the wrong way in the pocket of our jeans, or it can be something as complex as falling in love. But regardless of how simple or complex the discomforts we experience may be, they will almost always elicit the need for an adjustment on our part. It is how we adjust and how profound of an adjustment we are willing to make that really matters. You must understand and truly accept the importance here. These are the types of steps that if taken properly can open up doors and allow for substantial personal growth. I know that merely talking about the subject matter will bring about some discomfort itself, but that just means it's time for an adjustment. Let's get started.
If looked at from the proper perspective, discomfort may be the biggest blessing that we will ever have bestowed upon us. Discomfort is the precursor to pain. It is tolerable yet unwanted. Discomfort is something very subtle that lets us know it is time for a change. How and when we make adjustments to the discomforts in our lives can give us considerable amounts of control over the type of future we will experience and the amount of pain that will be involved.
Let's go over a very easy to understand example of how this process of discomfort and adjustment works. The example I am going to use here is something my wife has to deal with on a regular basis. She is the wound care specialist at several nursing homes, so she sees a lot of people with a health concern called pressure sores, decubitus ulcers, or as they are most commonly known bed sores! I can’t think of a better example of how a lack of adjustment can bring about dangerous consequences and pain to someone's life. Now I know that in this example we are talking about physical pain and discomfort but keep in mind that these principles apply directly to every other aspect of your life.
I don't know how much you know about bed sores, so I will give you a brief tutorial. When an individual sits still for a prolonged period of time, with no adjustment, the pressure of their body weight begins to restrict the blood flow to the areas with the most pressure. This restriction of nourishment usually becomes slightly uncomfortable at first. As time goes on, if the individual continues to resist adjustment, the soft tissue will begin to die. Once this process starts, a small sore begins to form through the whole thickness of the skin. If proper adjustments are not eventually made then these simple points of pressure can cause open wounds that can become bone-deep and ultimately lead to infection or death. All of this takes place because of a lack of adjustment to discomfort.
Now I would like for you to think about that for a moment. What areas in your personal, physical, social, or spiritual life do you feel small amounts of pressure? Where are the areas in your professional life that cause you discomfort? Has your marriage developed tender spots? Has your physical health declined just enough to become slightly uncomfortable? Do you have small issues with your current level of spiritual growth and development? These are all things that should receive great consideration on your part. Understand that as we see with the bedsores, if avoided and left unattended, if the proper adjustments are not made, these small discomforts can lead to infectious problems that can wreak havoc in many if not all areas of our existence. We must be attentive to the well-being of all individual pieces of our life. The combination of each unique piece comes together to form the mosaic of our existence. These pieces of our mosaic, when properly balanced, come together to create a most beautiful image. However, if the pieces start to fall then the image we once knew, may no longer be recognizable.
Try to keep in mind that this disintegration does not have to take place in your life. By simply recognizing the discomforts and making the proper adjustments we can avoid the problems that will eventually form if not attended to in a timely fashion. The cure for these ailments can be found with our decision to put in the effort and the practice of follow- through. It's acknowledging our weaknesses. It's not hoping for the best; it's actively pursuing the best. If we expect for no discomfort to ever arise in our lives, then we are fools. Life is discomfort! From the day we are born we immediately begin to feel the sensations of life; hunger, fatigue, fear, and uncertainty. And these are just in our first moments! Early on most of the adjustments that we need to rectify these discomforts are made for us. As we grow and become more independent, the burden falls upon our shoulders. We not only have to be willing to make adjustments to the discomfort, we must also be willing to be honest with ourselves and acknowledge that these issues exist in the first place. As teenagers and young adults, most of us will allow our discomforts to become quite painful and somewhat destructive before we are willing to make the necessary adjustments to our lives. For many of us, but not all, these lessons learned the hard way teach us to react differently to similar situations in the future. We learn to act more purposely and to pay more attention to what is going on in our lives. But still, sometimes more in-depth consideration into the matter is needed.
So that is why I have included this chapter in this book. It is something I still find myself struggling with, and I'm not sure I will ever truly master. I'm not sure anyone ever really does though! Making the proper adjustments at the appropriate time is something that can become much easier when we stop hoping for the best and start appreciating our reality. Denial of problems is our first instinct, and unfortunately for me, I'm a little bit of an optimist. Neither you nor I want discomforts in our lives, and we definitely don't want to have to deal with them. Luckily though, without fail, we do learn. Because I can look back on my past, I can learn and make better and timelier adjustments in my present than I have made previously. This is a skill and these enhancements in skill give me great hope. Don't let mistakes or untimely adjustments from your past cause problems for you today. Embrace them as learning experiences, make the proper adjustment, and continue to live your life.
As I said before, life is a state of
discomfort. If you ever find that you have become too comfortable, you may look around and find that your loved ones surround you and the time of discomfort and adjustment is just about to come to an end. Where will you be on that day? What kind of life will you have lived and what memories will you have to look back on? The answers to these questions are really all up to you.
Chapter 7
Carpe Diem
C arpe Diem, seize the day! YOLO! (You Only Live Once), Live life to the fullest! We have all heard sayings like these. They inspire us and offer us momentary jolts of enthusiasm towards life. We stop seeing the big picture and tell ourselves to get caught up in whatever it is that we really want to get caught up in. We feel for a brief instant that every moment can and should be an amazing adventure. These notions are of such a romantic nature that very few of us can withstand the allure. Unfortunately, this shortsighted way of thinking can lead to disappointment and frustration instead of the glory we imagine. I feel this is yet another subject that is usually grasped at a very shallow level by most people. It seems that while many of us embrace the initial concept, very few people rarely dig deeper into what it truly means to seize the day. We get caught up in making the most out of the day instead of appreciating most of the day. Seize the day? How about love the day or enjoy the day. Or more practically, accept the day.
I want to make myself clear on this subject because my opening paragraph may lead you to believe that I am not pro this concept. On the contrary, I think this is one of the most important ideas a person can incorporate into their life as they develop their core way of thinking. The problem comes when people say things like “Carpe Diem.” They are usually filled with enthusiasm and zest for life as their imagination runs wild with the things they are going to do immediately to make the most out of what could quite possibly be their last day on earth. The emotional high that is typically associated with this way of thinking is usually only surpassed by the dreamy expectations of what life will be like once this concept is fully embraced. However, for those of us that continue to wake up every morning, we tend to find that there are usually many more days to come. We also eventually come to the realization that not all of them can be filled with enthusiasm and zest. Not every day can be spent taking spontaneous road trips, bungee jumping, or opening our heart up to someone we love. Not every day, no matter how much of it we attempt to seize, can stay in our mind forever as a point in time that fundamentally changed us. Who could manage such change? Who could mentally, physically, or spiritually juggle such massive amounts of change on a daily basis? I know I couldn't.
Unfortunately, some people let the expectation of being able to have a lifestyle like this creep into their brain. In this way, they almost end up living a life that is the opposite of what they dreamed. The constant expectation of greatness leads to consistent feelings of failure and very often substance abuse. It is unrealistic to expect this level of excitement and reward from life. We require time to adjust to change. We need time to absorb, adapt, and observe the sometimes subtle yet significant changes that spring from experience.
We grow much in the same way plants do. When a plant is watered it takes time for the moisture to reach the roots as it passes through the soil. The water then takes more time to be absorbed by the roots and even more time still is needed before the precious water can be delivered to the various parts of the plant so it may grow. You must learn to develop in this same consistent and progressive manner. You must be patient as your life provides nourishment for your soul. Just like the life of the plant, not all days will provide water. Some days are just spent living and making the most of what we have. Just try to remember that there will be days when the floods will come and offer more nourishment for our souls and growth within our lives than we ever thought possible.
Now I know that when you read the title of this chapter and saw the words “carpe diem,” the last thing you expected was a chapter preaching to you about being patient. However, if you genuinely wish to seize the day, then I suggest on most days you learn to slow down and begin to appreciate the subtle value that a day without adventure can offer. Seize the day? Seize every day, not just the days where you may take a leap of faith in the hopes of something incredible happening. Learn to seize the appreciation that we should all feel when we once again open our eyes in the morning. Seize the day as you take a breath of the delicious oxygen. Seize the day as your experience your first sight or smell. Seize the day when you have your first drink of water or your first taste of food. We must learn to seize hold of the more mundane and more familiar aspects of our days and see them for the incredible gifts that they truly are. For it is these instances, these happenings, the smaller miraculous events that allow us the ability to pursue the more substantial and life-changing events we may one day encounter. However, if we allow ourselves to forget these tiny instances, then the days without great exhilaration or romance can become distorted or stained as we look at them through the unpolished glass of the minds discontent. When you learn to clear your vision and to begin to see things for what they truly are, then you may find more joy and exhilaration in your average day than you ever realized was there all along.
Living a more fulfilling and rewarding life is not necessarily about adding more substance to each day. It's about learning to be aware of and grasping the incredible beauty every day has to offer. Don't allow yourself to feel less than miraculous just because you don’t think your day reached its full potential. Trust me, it did. The question is, were you aware of it? Or were you more worried about all the things you weren't doing instead of realizing and appreciating what you actually were doing?
If you have gotten this far in this chapter that means one thing, you can read. If you can read that means you have some degree of intelligence. If you have some degree of intelligence, then that means you have the ability to look ahead and plan. There is a considerable amount of joy that can be found in the planning and anticipation of a future adventure, not just in the adventure itself! That’s because if you have made a plan, then you have acted, and if you are performing any positive action, then you are adding value to your life. You’re giving yourself hope, and anticipation toward something positive in your future. If you can learn to anticipate the smaller events that life has to offer in a similar light, then you can begin to live every day in a state of positive anticipation and hope.
Congratulations! You had a moment, you seized it, and you read this chapter. By doing this, you have forever added value to this day and therefore, to the rest of your life. Carpe Diem!!!
Chapter 8
I Am Grateful For…?
I am grateful for my ancestors. I am grateful for the many generations of men and women that came together over the millennia to create the lineage that eventually led to my birth. Without them, I could not be. Without my ancestors and the lives they lived, lives filled with endless scenarios and circumstances they each had to deal with to the best of their abilities to survive, I could not be here. So, for all the struggle, perseverance, and survival of the past, I am thankful.
I am thankful for the lives of my mother and father. I am grateful they had proper nutrition as children. Not all children have enough food to eat. It is because they had access to this basic human need that they were able to grow with healthy reproductive systems. I am thankful that their parents took proper care of them to allow for them to reach adulthood. I am grateful that they met. If everything that happened in the world during their young lives had not occurred, then their paths may have never crossed, and I would have never been. If they had not both been raised the way that they were by their parents, then their personalities would not have worked together, and I would have never been born. I am thankful for their chemistry. So much had to be just right for them to have it. I am thankful that they were both motivated to settle down at that time in their lives. If they had been in different places in their lives, I would not be here. So, I am thankful for timing.
I am thankful t
hat once I was conceived within my mother that she had access to an adequate amount of nutrition so that I could grow within her. Without this blessing, I could not have been. I am thankful for her health during her pregnancy which allowed me to develop in an ordinary manner. Without even discussing anything past my birth I already have more to be thankful for than I may ever know. I am thankful that my parents made it to the hospital safely so that I could be delivered. I am thankful for the skill of the doctor and nurses that delivered me into this world. I am grateful for their skill because without it neither I nor my mother may have survived. I am thankful for being born. I am thankful that I was born healthy. I am thankful for my sight, smell, taste, hearing, touch, and my healthy level of cognition. I am thankful for my life.
I am grateful for where I was born. I was born in a place free of national conflict or war. I am thankful that I was born in a part of the world where my parents could both find employment. If this had not been the case, my childhood could have been much harder. Instead, I am grateful that I was able to be supported to a degree that went far beyond pure necessity. I am thankful for all the countless men and women who have pioneered, delegated, constitutionalized, fought, industrialized, worked, scraped, survived and done all of the other countless tasks that have been necessary for the creation of the country that I was born in. For without all of them and all of the actions that were taken, the life that I had growing up could never have been possible. It all had to happen, so I am truly thankful.
