by J. G. Sumner
I brush my thumb across her cheek and she holds my hand in place. “You are so beautiful.”
Her face expressionless, she searches my eyes for an answer to whatever questions are forming in her mind. I remain still and patient, studying her features and admiring her natural beauty.
“I could fall for you if you let me,” she announces in the most sultry voice I’ve ever heard.
Her proclamation both excites and terrifies me. Can I give up everything I have for her? How would this affect my children? My career? I know I should care. I know this should be on the forefront of my mind. But there is something about Beth. It’s like a magnetic pull that keeps bringing me back to her. I can’t stay clear of it and I certainly can’t resist it.
“Don’t you want me?”
I guess my lack of answer left her with uncertainty. How could it not? She’s stunning, intelligent, compassionate, and mature beyond her years, but self-confidence can only go so far at her age.
“More than you know. But life is complicated. This entire situation is complicated. It’s wrong on so many levels.”
Beth crashes her lips to mine. Her tongue invades my mouth. The gentle dance we performed earlier is replaced by a lust filled wrestling match, the bulge in my pants growing harder by the second. I pull her into my lap to close the gap between us. I pull her head back exposing her neck and allowing me to suck and nibble on the delicate skin. She tastes like sugar.
Her panting heavier, she places her hands inside my shirt. She pulls on my nipples, driving me wild. I’ve never had anyone do that to me before. God it feels good. She lifts my shirt and begins planting kisses across my chest, sucking and biting on my nipples. The sensation is something out of this world. I let out a deep, guttural groan, wanting nothing more than to be inside her.
She pulls back, bringing her lips mere millimeters from mine. With a breathy voice she asks, “How can something you claim is wrong feel so good?”
It’s the same question I’ve been asking myself. Hearing it coming from her makes it not seem so bad. This is what we both want. She is consensual.
I don’t waste any time in devouring her mouth. I take everything I want. Everything I’ve been holding back. I’m greedy. I need this and I need her. She’s like the heroin my body is craving. Without Beth I am numb. I’m emotionless. With her in my life, there’s electricity in my veins. I’m alive. I can conquer the world. How can one person have this much power over me?
I steal her breath as she exhales into my mouth. It's invigorating, like I have a piece of her soul. I cup her perky breast. Her nipples are hard and screaming for my attention. I bite one through her clothing. The moan she elicits lets me know she loves it.
My imagination takes off and I think about what she must look like underneath her clothes. I want to see her. All of her. Completely exposed. I want to worship her body and make her feel as good as she makes me feel.
I reach my hand under her blouse as she reaches for the monster growing in my pants. She strokes it hard and reaches for the zipper. I close my eyes and let out a heavy sigh at the thought of her touching me flesh to flesh.
Just as Beth starts to remove her blouse and show me what I’ve only imagined, an alarm from another car goes off and yanks us back to reality and the moment. The lights from a car two spots over illuminates the inside of mine. I take another look at Beth. Her skin is flushed and her eyes are heavily hooded. It doesn’t escape me that we’re in the car and this isn’t where I want our first time together to take place. I don’t want it to be a cheap date between two teenagers who are trying to escape their parents. I want her to have rose petals and candles. I want her to feel like a princess while I worship her body. She deserves that.
“I think it’s time I take you home.”
“W-what? No! Why?” Beth’s look of lust and content has now gone to insecurity and worry. I did this to her. I’m the one that made her feel cheap and discarded.
“This shouldn’t happen here. You deserve better.” I put the keys back in the ignition and turn the motor on.
“No! I want you now. You can’t do this. I’m ready for you. I need to feel your skin against mine. Please, I don’t want to go.”
The guilt that is overcoming me right now is beyond comparison. I’ve just let down myself, my family, and Beth. What kind of piece of shit am I?
“I’m sorry, Beth. I need to take you home before your mother starts worrying about where you are.”
I put the car in gear and pull it onto the road. Through my peripheral vision, I can tell Beth is looking out the window. I just pray there are no tears. I’d never want to hurt her.
Chapter 7
Beth
I need him. That’s all there is to it. I think about him nonstop. I think about the way he touched me in his car. The firm but gentle touch of his hand. How he took control of every aspect of my body as though he was staking claim to it. Apparently my body didn’t mind because it responded just the way he wanted it to. White hot heat escaped my sex, drenching my panties with desire. I was ready to give him my world and become his right then and there.
I have to make him realize that I’m the one for him, not Parker. She’s too wrapped up in her own little world. She barely knows he exists. She’s never the one who’s home with the children, he is. Trent needs a woman who will take care of his needs. I can do that. I can be the mom that those children need.
I need to find a way to spend as much time in that house with the kids as possible. They have to grow attached to me, so Trent can see that I can be the woman and mother for his children that he needs. I call Parker. Surprisingly, she answers.
“Hey, Parker, it’s Beth,” I announce, even though she has my number on speed dial.
“How are you doing, Beth? I was just getting ready to call you.” Her voice is a combination of annoyance and disdain.
“Oh?”
“Yes. I have several fundraisers I’ve agreed to host. They’re going to take up a lot of my time. I was hoping you could be a more permanent fixture in the household.”
“What do you mean?” This could be just what I was hoping for!
“I was hoping you’d be willing to nanny every day after school and sometimes on the weekend when Trent can’t be here. I know it’s a lot to ask. I’m sure you have a social life, but I figured you could use some extra spending money.”
Holy crap! This couldn’t have gone better if I had planned it. “It’s so funny you’re asking me this because I was calling to see if I could pick up more hours.” I don’t try to hide the huge smile on my face.
“Does that mean you’ll do it?”
“Absolutely! When do you want me to start?”
“How about tomorrow?” Parker has very little enthusiasm in her voice. It’s as though she’s reading the paper while talking to me, very monotone.
“That’s perfect. Thank you so much, Parker. And don’t worry. Your children are in good hands!” I hang up the phone, excited about the possibility that things could be going my way soon. A small pang of guilt starts to gnaw away at my stomach that I’m breaking up a family and that I’m backstabbing Parker. Then I remember that she’s the one throwing away her family. She’s the one putting the charities and other people before those who should be her first priority.
With a brilliant smile plastered on my face I text Trent to see what sort of response I get.
Me: Hey, thank you so much for allowing me to be your nanny in the afternoons. I’m very excited about this opportunity.
Trent responds almost immediately.
Trent: What do you mean?
I give myself a high five. Another opportunity to drive a wedge between them.
Me: Parker didn’t tell you? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.
Trent: Didn’t tell me what?
Me: She has a bunch of work coming up and she’s going to need me there more often. I’ll be there almost every day.
There’s no response for almost ten minu
tes. My guess is he’s calling Parker to find out what’s going on.
Trent: We need to talk. Meet me at the coffee shop on Bowdoin Street in thirty minutes.
This day is getting better and better. Trent is now asking to see me! I glance at my watch. Four-thirty. Mom won’t be home for another hour and a half. I have plenty of time.
I run to the bathroom to freshen my makeup and pull a brush through my hair. I look at my attire and decide to change into something a little more form fitting. It’s hard to be sexy when it’s so stinking cold outside.
I choose a sweater that hugs my breasts, skinny jeans, and long leather boots. I observe myself in the mirror again and am satisfied with the look. Mature, sexy, and provocative. Just what I was going for. Trent needs to see me as a woman, not a seventeen year old. A prominent attorney can’t have a child on his arm. He needs a woman like me who will have the men envious that I’m not with them.
When I get to the coffee shop, Trent is waiting in the back corner. He’s eyeing his watch as though he’s in a hurry. I saunter over to him, catching the eye of every male in the place. Even the women are checking me out. Trent looks up at me when I’m about five feet from him. He looks me up and down several times before his eyes settle on my breasts.
Perfect.
I stop directly in front of him while his gaze lingers exactly where I want it to. I don’t stop him or try to redirect his attention. I want him to imagine his mouth covering my nipples and how good they would feel in his hands. Parker’s A cups have nothing on these perky lumps.
Finally, he looks up at me and then stands. “Please, sit.” Trent takes a sip of his coffee, presumably an attempt to hide the drool that’s just puddled.
“You look handsome today. How’s work going?” I strategically make him the center of attention. Lord knows he’s not getting of it at home.
“Fine, thank you. Look, you can’t nanny for us.”
I pout my lips. “What do you mean? Parker seemed excited about it.”
“She is, but you need to tell her you can’t do it.”
“Why would I do that?”
Trent leans in closer. “Because I’m asking. No, I’m begging you not to. I can’t control myself when I’m around you. I have a family and a career. As much as I’m attracted to you…we just can’t. Please tell her no.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I need the money.” I lean back in my chair, hanging on to the sides of it, causing my arms to squeeze my breasts together.
“I’ll send you money every month to cover the gas and insurance on your car. Please.” Trent looks truly terrified.
I lean forward again so no one can hear what we’re talking about. “I can’t do it. I miss you. I need to be close to you. This is the only way without raising suspicion. I know you want me as much as I do you. I can see it in your eyes, the way you look at me. Your body responds to me in a way that it doesn’t for Parker. We need each other.”
“Please hear what I’m saying. We. Can’t. Do. This.” Trent stands up and leaves me sitting at the table wondering what the hell just happened.
He exits the building. He seems so determined to not let this happen between us. But his actions tell a different story. His body language is defying him. Perhaps I just need to reassure him that what is going on between us isn’t wrong. Age is merely a number. Everything about me screams woman, even my desire to be his wife and mother of his children. No other girls I know want to start a family. They all want to go to the mall, shop, and date lots of boys. There is only one man for me. I just need to help him realize that this is right for both of us.
Chapter 8
Trent
Beth has been at our house on a routine basis for the last several months while Parker has been planning multiple holiday functions for various charities. I’ve been doing my best staying busy at my office in Beacon Hill. There have been several times I haven’t bothered to come home at all. The busier Parker is with her charities, the further apart we become. For the most part, we are living separate lives while maintaining a home for our children.
Beth texts me all the time. Sometimes I engage, most often not. My world is being sucked into a vortex and I don’t know how to fix it. I wonder if Parker feels the way I do. I wouldn’t know because she’s too busy to spend any quality time for us to actually talk.
A month ago I had arranged an evening out for us. I chose to get a different babysitter since I didn’t want Beth to know there was trouble between my wife and me. I’m sure she’s already picked up on it, otherwise I wouldn’t have been making out with her in an isolated park in the middle of the night.
I just wanted a chance to fix our marriage. I arranged for the driver to pick Parker up at home and meet me at 75 Chestnut, a higher end restaurant in town. It was where we went when I asked her to marry me. I was hoping to rekindle what we had; what I thought we had. I requested the same table we enjoyed that memorable night. I sat watching the door, sipping from the same bottle of wine we ordered that night. I stayed for nearly an hour after she was supposed to be there and finished the bottle before I realized she wasn’t coming. Instead of going home, I took a cab to the same park Beth and I went to that evening.
That was the beginning of the end.
I’ve never felt less adequate as a man than I did that night. I can’t even get my wife to want to spend any time with me. We haven’t had sex in months. It’s not because I’m not interested, but because she always seems to have a headache or is extremely tired from her day. I can’t describe what it feels like when your wife won’t allow you to touch her. It’s like a knife to the heart. It deflates you like balloon. It leaves you feeling empty and worthless. What I wouldn’t give to have some level of intimacy between us.
I sit at my desk, staring out the window at the Charles River. I sip the oak flavored scotch from the crystal tumbler I poured for myself after everyone left the office, debating whether I should go home or sleep on the leather couch I recently purchased for my office. I’ve spent many of nights here as of late. My phone buzzes and I peer down at the screen.
Beth: I’m taking the kids to go see Christmas lights. Do you want to join us?
I stare at the words, thinking how it should be my wife asking this and not my nanny. That’s what Beth is now. She’s over every day after school. After Parker threw that elaborate birthday party, I went out and bought Beth a convertible Mustang. I thought it was quite appropriate after Parker teased me about purchasing one for the boys. Beth was elated. Parker’s face turned the same color of red as the car and she stormed out of the house after I showed it to her. I proudly went and picked up Beth from her house in it and we went for a joyride. Pissing Parker off felt pretty good that day. It wasn’t until I got home that I regretted my actions.
I pick up the phone and swipe the pad of my thumb across the screen. It opens up to Beth’s text. I stare at it a while before responding. What the hell? My children deserve having one of their parents around during the holidays.
Me: Sure. Where would you like to meet?
Beth was planning on hitting an upscale neighborhood not far from my office. I agreed to allow her to pick me up here. The boys always love coming to my office and sitting behind my desk. The older ones play courtroom while the youngest one toddles around trying to destroy everything he can get his little hands on.
I finish the rest of my scotch and head to the restroom to rinse my face and brush my teeth. I don’t want the children to see the exhaustion, frustration, and hopelessness in my face. I want them to see the dad they love, respect, and admire. I want to be the person they deserve me to be.
Not long after I straighten myself up, Beth and the boys arrive. Tyler runs into my arms and the youngest, Tanner, grabs onto my leg. TJ gives me a fist bump. My heart overflows with warmth and happiness. It’s such a simple act, but is so powerful it brings a smile to my face for the first time since I bought Beth that car.
I give each one of them hugs and ask how their day
was. In the midst of it all I look up to find Beth leaning against a wall with a huge smile and a sparkle in her amber eyes. From the couch, they almost look gold again. They seem to turn gold when she’s thinking dirty thoughts. I look her over from head to toe. Her auburn hair is hanging midway down her back. The camel colored cashmere sweater hugs her curves and provides her face with a warm glow. Her jeans fit her body like a glove. The dark brown high-heeled boots give her an air of sophistication. If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was no way she was seventeen. I would easily guess twenty-five. That’s still fourteen years my junior.
“Daddy, can we go look at the lights now?” Tyler whines. I smile and ruffle his hair.
“All right, let’s get out of here. I think I’ve worked long enough for one day.” I scoot my boys out the door, grab my briefcase, and turn out the lights.
Beth walks next me as we proceed down the hall. She lightly rubs the bottom of my back without anyone noticing. The touch is light, but is more than anything I’ve received from my wife in months, igniting every nerve ending. I’m hypersensitive to her flowery smell, the hitches in her breathing, and the warmth of her flesh.
“Dad, do you think Santa will be there? Can we get some hot chocolate?” Tyler asks.
I look at Beth questioningly. She peers back with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes. “There’s a house that has a Santa outside on certain nights. He hands out candy canes and Mrs. Claus serves hot chocolate. I mentioned it to the boys earlier and they haven’t stopped talking about it.”
I hear her words but I focus on Beth’s lips. My desire to kiss her is overwhelming. I imagine brushing the hair back from her face, lifting her chin as I look into her gorgeous eyes, kissing those plump, pink lips.
