"I…"
Neil tried to think back. His mind was growing fuzzy. He couldn't remember. Had he done that? Why would he? He knew why he killed the man. The victim of the war had wished for peace. Neil had granted him that small kindness. After that, he couldn't remember anything until he had started to trail behind the quartet. Hadn't he had to wait for a little while? Why couldn't he remember? Why was the fog returning to his mind? The doctor was supposed to have fixed that!
Was it the fish? He was always given steak to eat. Why? Did the red meat help with his medicine?
No. No, he shouldn't be thinking like this. The American was trying to make him question the Hidden Serpents' authority. The man was trying to make him second-guess everything he knew to be true. Peace was the only thing that could correct the evils in the world.
"Peace is our objective," Neil said.
And he struck a blow to the man's arm and knocked the gun away.
Chapter 24
Shauna paced back and forth as Lela tried again.
"Why aren't they answering?" Lela asked.
Shauna shook her head. "I don't know, but if they don't this time, I am going to go out there and hunt down Alejandro. I'm not about to lose him too."
"Or maybe we should go back to the others," Lela said. "Think about it. Two of us have been captured. Maybe they're alive. Maybe they aren't. Now, we're down to two. If we—"
"You're just worried about being able to get home because of your mom," Shauna snapped. "My world is here. My fiancé, my friends, everyone. I will not go back with coffins. I will not rest until…"
She hesitated at the stricken and dismayed looked on Lela's face.
"I'm sorry. I don’t know what got into me." Shauna covered her face and turned away.
"I do. We're soldiers, but we're not immune to emotions. You're upset and worried and need a punching bag. I get it, but that punching bag will not be me. To quote Alejandro, 'Suck it up, buttercup.'"
Shauna sniffled through a laugh. "You do know he didn't origiNathaniel that quote, right?"
'He thinks he did." Lela rolled her eyes. "Save the punches for the Hidden Serpents, okay?"
"Understood."
Lela went back to work. "One last call," she muttered. "Captain? Captain Jones?"
"Lela? It's Coral. Where are you guys?"
An explosion sounded so loudly over the line that Shauna could hear it. Anger seized her heart in a death grip.
"We're under attack," Coral was saying, her voice fading in and out. "We're all right. All right."
"Is that them?" The booming voice of the Captain sounded. "Give that to—Are you there?"
"Captain, I'm sorry to report that we've lost Trinity and Alejandro."
"What do you mean—"
The sound of gunshots rang out.
"Look, we can handle ourselves. If you need to, come here. If you can try to find them without straying far, go ahead. Keep in better contact. Updates every thirty. Out."
Shauna examined her rifle. "Which do you prefer?"
"I know you want to look for him," Lela said.
She shook her head. "That's not what I asked you."
Lela nodded slowly. "Let's scout some. We have no idea what they're dealing with. Both of them claimed they could handle it. If it's an ambush, we might be able to help pin the Hidden Serpents."
"Or it could be an even bigger ambush, and we're been annihilated," Shauna finished.
"I don't know about you, but I have no plans on being annihilated today. Maybe cause some annihilation though."
Shauna grinned grimly. "Sounds like a plan."
The two left the cave behind. The sand here was looser. It wasn't packed enough for lasting footprint impressions, so they were walking blind.
First, Nathaniel. Then, Trinity. Now, Alejandro. Who next?
Shauna gripped her rifle that much tighter. No one if I have any say in the matter.
Chapter 25
Neil ducked beneath the man's blow and slammed his fist into the man's gut. He doubled over, but the movement was feigned. He tried to bring up an uppercut. Neil blocked it and sidestepped around him so now the man's back was to the pond and not his.
"Come on, Nathaniel. This isn't you. You're better than this. Fight it!"
"Fight? That's the whole point. I want to end all fighting!" Neil shouted. "Peace is—"
"Peace is nothing without freedom. If you're told what to eat, what to wear, what to do, who to marry, then you can't have peace. You'd always begrudge. 'Why can't I have this for dinner?' 'Why is he with her?' 'Why can't I be a Marine?'"
"You aren't a Marine," Neil said.
"Neither are you. Not anymore. What happened to the other Marines that had been captured with you? Have they been killed? Did you kill them? Or are they going to be turned into monsters like you? Shauna and the rest of us came here to rescue you, but it looks like we're too late for that!"
The man reached for his rifle, but Neil yanked it off his arm and tossed it aside.
"Bullets don't work on me," he said.
But the man wasn't out of weapons. He dropped down and had a blade in his hands in seconds. Impressive reflexes, but not as quick as Neil's.
The man lunged forward. Neil sidestepped him. The man halted, regained his balance, and came forward again. Again, Neil sidestepped him. The next time, Neil crisscrossed his arms to capture the guy's wrist. Then he grabbed the man's arms, forced them up and to the side, and squeezed. The man's release of the blade loosened enough that Neil snatched it away.
"Better be careful with that or else you'll liable to take out someone's eye," Neil said mockingly.
"You're… You're enjoying this."
"No, I'm not. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see what you knew about Shauna. I wanted to convince you and her and any others that—"
"What about Trinity Shepherd?" the man asked. "Did you try to convince her of something?"
Frustrated, Neil exhaled loudly. "What is so wrong with peace?"
"Nothing! So long as we have the freedom to choose it! The moment that some kind of peace is mandated, it's not peace. It's oppression. It's the opposite of peace. The Hidden Serpents don't truly want peace. They want a dictatorship."
"So you think. You're wrong."
"How do you know I'm wrong?" The man lifted his chin defiantly. Somehow, he had a black eye and a split lip. Had Neil hit him there? He hadn't thought he had.
Just like with that blood writing. No one else around had known he was called that. Yes, he'd told the soldier that was his name now, but the man had been dead when he left him. Between his broken back and neck, he couldn't have moved his fingers or arms to trace letters in his blood.
No, Neil must've done it.
He staggered back. "What is going on with me?"
He bent down onto one knee. A blow to the back of his head had his vision darkening. He could hear the cries of the battle, see the images of war, the devastation that the world was still threatened with.
Peace is our objective.
With renewed vigor, Neil went to stand, but another blow, this time from the butt of a gun and not a fist, descended. Somehow, a memory surfaced. Or maybe a vision. He couldn't be certain.
He, Nathaniel, was on one knee, just like he was now. His heart was pounding but with excitement, not nerves, not fear. The door opened. There was Shauna. Her eyes delighted with happiness. And love. And freedom and peace.
Neil stood and turned around. "I am going to take you—"
"You'll never take me to them. That's what they want us for, to turn us into messed up super soldiers. To make us forget our past, our loved ones. You and Shauna were supposed to get married. My brother needs me, but… I can't be there for him if I'm fighting for the Hidden Serpents. No. I have my freedom, and I'll make my own peace."
The man turned the gun to face himself, opened his mouth, and fired.
Chapter 26
Shauna stopped dead in her tracks. The gunfire. Alejandro falling.
Her partner. Dead.
Shauna had heard everything Alejandro had to say and admired his fight, his grit, his determination. He was braver than she had ever thought him to be, and she’d already thought of him as braver than most.
But she'd also heard what the other man was saying. “I’m not going to turn you in. I’ll take you back to your fellow soldiers. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I don’t—I just—no, don’t!”
She was too far away to react, too helpless to do a thing. Her body felt foreign, paralyzed, and she never felt more powerless.
The man then jumped forward, knocking the gun away, moving so fast that his hand was a blur. For as swiftly as he reacted, he was too slow.
The deed was done.
Alejandro was gone.
The man caught Alejandro’s slumped form and laid him to the ground. Then, he straightened and glanced around as if confused and uncertain what to do next.
It was only at this moment that Shauna got to see the man’s face. She already figured based on his build and clothing that he was the Venom’s Vengeance. But now she knew.
She knew.
Venom’s Vengeance was Nathaniel Strongarm. Her fiancé. The love of her life. A killer.
Deep down, she knew and accepted that he had been brainwashed and reprogramed. Already he was showing signs of fighting it if he was willing to try to stop Alejandro from killing himself. He’d wanted to bring Alejandro back to her and Lela.
But what if that would’ve been a trap? She couldn’t trust him.
Was the man she knew completely gone? Was her love so broken he’d never be able to be put to rights again?
Lela had been checking slightly westward. She crashed through the underbrush toward Shauna and halted. “What was that—No!”
Shauna clapped her hand over Lela’s mouth. Too late. The man who had formerly been her fiancé was already looking and stepping in their direction.
“Is that… That’s Nathaniel!” Lela whispered. “I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I, and I don’t think he does either. Keep your gun up, but don’t shoot unless you need to.”
Lela grabbed Shauna’s arm. Shauna patted her hand and shrugged herself free. She took two steps toward Nathaniel.
He halted. His hesitation wounded her.
She had daydreamed about their reunion when Nathaniel went away on this mission. She had again once she was assigned to save him. Never in any of her dreams had she expected their reunion to be like this.
“Do you know who that was?” she asked him. Her voice was so cold and distant that she hardly recognized it.
“A green beret. In your unit.” He paused. “I’m sorry.”
“He was Alejandro Mario Fernandez. He left behind a family. His brother is in crisis. He wanted to find himself a lady love. He had so much hope for the future and now…” She was a hundred different things at once. Sorrowful. Disgusted. Frustrated. Worried. Angry. Full of hatred and fury. The loss of Alejandro left her feeling isolated and vulnerable. Why hadn’t he listened to Nathaniel? Why hadn’t he lowered the gun? Why shoot himself?
“I should’ve knocked the gun away. I… Words do not mean much, do they? You can talk and say you’ll do think and not mean it. Words are worthless.” He swallowed hard.
“You’re fast. I saw you knock the gun away. You could’ve stopped him. Why didn’t you?”
“I… This will not sound possible, but I… I don’t know my own strength. They did something to me. Lots of things. I… The other woman with you.”
Shauna sucked in a breath. Beside her, Lela moved her finger to the trigger.
“Trinity Shepherd,” Shauna supplied. “What happened to her?”
“I did not mean to… I… She struggled against me. I was only following orders.”
“To kill?” Lela asked coldly.
He shook his head. It was so hard to see Nathaniel like this. He looked the same if you ignored his huge muscles. He’d always been muscular, but now, he looked like he’d taken steroids for years. But that wasn’t what bothered her. His eyes were haunted. His shoulders were slumped in remorse. The grief and confusion in his eyes threatened to steal her breath away.
“Not to kill,” he said hoarsely. “I was supposed to bring Americans back alive. I failed.”
“You killed her,” Shauna asked, wishing this nightmare could end.
“I did not mean to. She headbutted me. I headbutted her back and… She fell into a coma. The others killed her, but I… I’m the one to blame. I never intended… Intentions don’t matter. Only results. Peace is…” He gripped his temple and shook his head. “I don’t understand. I don’t know.”
“You don’t know what?”
“Who I am.” He wiped his hands down his face and then stared at her. The raw pain and sorrow in his eyes had her blinking back tears.
This person in front of her wasn’t Nathaniel. Nathaniel had never been sad.
She took a step forward and lifted her hand but then brought it back down. How could she think to touch him?
“I don’t know who you are,” she said slowly, “but I know who you were.”
He stared at her, and she saw there was a flash of recognition.
“Do you know who I am?” she asked.
“He called you Shauna,” the man said.
Her heart stopped. “You don’t remember me at all?”
“I… I had a dream of you. Or maybe a memory. I saw you at night in my dreams, and you brought me peace. Peace is our… Aargh. You made me happy. I… Did I propose to you? I was on one knee outside your door.”
“You did.” She shook her head. How could he remember her despite the brainwashing?
“But other than those flashes of me…”
“Nothing. My past is blank. They said I suffered trauma and wished to spare me.”
“More like rewire you,” Lela said.
“You can put the gun down,” he said. “I am not a threat to either of you.”
“You sure weren’t a threat to Alejandro, huh?” Lela countered.
“Lela’s right. We can’t trust you,” Shauna whispered.
“I know. I understand. I…”
“Come with us,” Shauna blurted.
Chapter 27
Despite all of Neil's swift reflexes, the man had killed himself. Despite Neil shouting over the man's speech to explain that he wasn’t going to bring him in, the man hadn't heard him.
Or maybe he hadn't believed me.
Right now, however, he wasn't certain he had heard the woman correctly. He stared at her, at Shauna, at the woman he had asked to be his wife once upon a time. He knew now that Neil wasn’t his true name or at least not his birth name. Could he return to be Nathaniel? Was it really that easy?
No. He knew that. Life accepted the difficulties and hardships of life. That was why the Hidden Serpents had risen up in the first place. Segments in various countries were in league with them. Those pockets were manned with military members armed to the teeth. They knew how to kill, and kill they did. As much as they wished for peace, all they did was spark more hatred, derision, and fear.
Peace is—
“Come with you?” he repeated dully.
“Yes. Maybe we can help you. Deprogram you.” Shauna looked so beautiful when excitement shone in her eyes.
But he did not deserve her. He could feel the pull toward the Hidden Serpents even now. Whenever he glanced at Lela, he recognized her as an American. He wanted to take her back with him.
So she can be experimented on like me. Like the others.
Neil straightened. When had he been taken by the Hidden Serpents? Why did he think that others had been taken as well? Was he beginning to remember more?
“I need fish,” he murmured. His mind had cleared some after eating it. Maybe it was the steak they were feeding him constantly or the seasoning, but he knew they were tampering with him still.
“You’re hungry?” Shauna asked, shocked.
“Now?�
� Lela sounded both skeptical and disgusted. “After you killed—“
“He didn’t kill Alejandro,” Shauna said softly, sorrowfully. “He killed himself.”
“So he witnessed it. You witnessed it? I don’t understand what is going on!” Lela cried.
“I was too far away and not in position to—“
“You wouldn’t have fired,” Lela said. “If Nathaniel really would’ve been the one to go at him and try to kill him, you would’ve let him!”
Shauna turned away. “I don’t understand.” She ignored the few feet of no-man’s land between herself and him to cross over to her friend. She sniffed slightly.
This display of raw emotion, of the heartache, hurt, sorrow, and grief, was more than Neil could stand. He hated himself at that moment.
Alejandro’s gun had slipped slightly from his hand, and Neil snatched it. He twisted the gun around to point at himself.
“Put the gun down,” Lela cried.
Shauna glanced up. “Nathaniel, no!”
He pulled the trigger. The gunshot rang out. Blood pooled in his chest right by where his heart should be. He glanced down at the dripping hole to avoid seeing either woman’s expression.
But the wound healed, closing up as if he had never been hurt in the first place.
Like I thought. It has to be the brain.
As Alejandro had moments before, Nathaniel opened his mouth and placed the cold barrel of the gun between his lips.
But the wind shifted. A twig snapped. The ground vibrated ever so slightly. Footsteps and lots of them. Several men were headed this way, twenty at least.
Opening his eyes, he lowered the gun and tossed it aside. “How many in your unit?”
“Twelve, ten now,” Shauna said sorrowfully.
He winced, ashamed and guilt-addled. How could he feel so guilty for an act he didn’t commit? He hadn’t tried to stop Alejandro with more than words for fear that he would kill him. He hadn’t realized he’d hit him in the face, and although those blows hadn’t harmed him fatally, Neil hadn’t wanted to risk it.
Not on Her Watch (The Serpent Experiments Book 1) Page 14
