“You don’t know anything. I’m staying on the YENT and I’m going to impress Mr. Conner and Mr. Nicholson at the show.”
Jas dropped the reins and folded her arms, smirking. “You’re not as stupid as I thought you were. So you get that it was a test—the whole ‘schooling show’ thing. No one else is going to practice crazy hard and they’re all going to look pathetic next to me. You can practice as much as you want, but it won’t help.”
“Jas, seriously. What is your deal? Why don’t you just go back to Wellington already?” I asked. “Doesn’t this ever get old for you?”
Charm tensed beneath me, sensing the anger in my voice.
Jas edged Phoenix closer. “You really should be nicer to me. Grateful, actually.”
I rolled my eyes. “Grateful? Please. For what?”
“You just should be.” Jas’s eyes were on mine.
“Whatever. Like I believe anything you say. I’ve got no reason to be grateful to you for anything.”
Jas smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile. It was scary and the look on her face almost made me walk Charm right out of the arena.
“Fine,” Jas said. “Believe whatever you want. But I helped you more than you’ll ever know.”
“Then if it’s so amazing, tell me. You’d never keep it to yourself, so spill. Unless this entire thing is a bluff.”
Jas lifted her chin. “Julia and Alison would wish what I’d been hinting at was a bluff.”
I kept my eyes on Jasmine.
“They didn’t cheat.” Jasmine didn’t even lower her voice. “I stole papers from them and studied their handwriting. I made the cheat sheets and planted them while they were too busy gossiping about whatever boy drama was going down in Blackwell.”
My brain raced as I tried to figure out how to keep her talking, without being too obvious.
“So you did that to them,” I said. “You caused Julia and Alison to lose their dreams—their shot at the YENT. And you seem so proud of it.”
“I am,” Jas said, smiling. “They didn’t deserve the YENT. Heather was lucky I didn’t have a chance to do the same to her, but I’ll still get her.”
There wasn’t a hint of doubt in Jasmine’s voice or on her face. She believed she ruled the school and could do whatever she wanted.
“You wish,” I said. “Heather’s so much smarter than you. Even if I don’t tell her, she’ll figure it out and come after you.”
Jasmine laughed. “Oh, Sasha. You’re still so Union. It’s just your word against mine. And who’s going to believe the girl who’s so overtired she blacks out on her horse?”
Jasmine dismounted, loosened Phoenix’s girth and led him out of the arena.
I sat in Charm’s saddle, trying to figure out exactly what to do. Breathing would be a good first step. I sucked in air—still shocked at what had just happened.
I looked over at the camera, something I’d been trying hard not to do ever since Jas began her arrogant confessional. The red light was still on.
UNWANTED THOUGHTS
AFTER TEN MINUTES OF LEADING CHARM IN circles to cool him out, I walked over to the camera. I stared at it, then turned it off. I started to reach for the button to pop out the mini-DVD, but something stopped me. This was up to Julia and Alison now.
I turned off the camera and led Charm to his stall. Inside my wooden tack trunk, I found my phone.
If u want 2 get back on team, take DVD from arena camera. Now.
I sent the text to both Julia and Alison.
I’d just given them everything they needed to clear their names.
Dazed, I brushed Charm, mucked his stall, and gave him hay. My head was swirling from what I’d just heard. I couldn’t even begin to think about what was going to happen to Jasmine. She was off the YENT for sure.
“See you tomorrow, boy,” I said, kissing Charm’s muzzle.
I left him in his stall and started toward Winchester. When I reached the courtyard, I stopped and sat on one of the stone benches. The place was deserted. Everyone was probably heading to dinner or holed up in their rooms doing homework. I listened to the water trickle from the fountain and couldn’t stop the flood of thoughts about everything that had happened this week.
Eric and I were broken up. We’d never get back together.
Jacob liked me, but was staying with Callie because he’d promised he would, to spare her feelings at my request.
Paige and I were getting our BFF vibe back, but it was still kind of weird.
The Trio and I had a sort-of-alliance.
And I’d lost my other BFF, Callie, forever.
I looked up from my lap and saw an image of Jacob standing in the spot he’d been in when he’d asked me to give him another chance. That moment last spring felt as if it was replaying right now in front of me. His green eyes had never been so intense and there was emotion behind every word. He’d been sorry about how he knew it would hurt Callie’s feelings if he left her for me, but he couldn’t stop himself from telling me how he felt.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
That’s what he’d said. And I couldn’t get it out of my brain. I wanted to. I knew I needed to be on my own and I wanted Callie and Jacob to stay together. But every time I thought about Jacob …
But then I saw Callie’s face at my birthday party when I’d told her I’d been wanting Jacob back for a long time and had tried to kiss him. I’d never seen someone look so betrayed. The look on Callie’s face had made me want to sink onto the floor of the Winchester common room and never get up. I thought about the pain on her face every day since it had happened and couldn’t stop the twisting of my chest whenever I thought about that night.
I started to get up and leave, but instead I leaned back against the bench. It had been such a crazy week that I needed a few more minutes just to breathe. Every time I thought about my party, it almost made me freeze. I couldn’t process what felt like thousands of images that flashed in front of me from that night. It had been one of the worst days of my life. But I’d done what I had to do and I wouldn’t change anything I’d done that night. Things were awful now, but I was still here. Still on the YENT. Still doing well in my classes. I had to stop thinking that there was any way I’d repair any of the relationships I’d destroyed. They were over. I had to keep going.
ELEVATOR TO AWKWARD, PARTY OF THREE
I FINALLY LEFT MY SPOT ON THE BENCH
and headed back to Winchester. While I walked, I decided not to tell Paige about the tape. Julia and Alison hadn’t
texted me and I wanted to wait until I was sure—either way—before I told Paige what had happened with Jasmine.
When I opened the door to my room, Paige was sprawled on her bed watching a movie.
“Hey,” I said. I kicked off my riding boots and peeled off my socks.
Paige paused the film. “How was your ride?”
“Awesome,” I said. “Charm and I had a really great workout.”
Paige smiled. “Good. Want to get cleaned up and finish High School Confessions with me?”
“Absolutely. Be out in five.”
I grabbed jeans and a blue T-shirt with capped sleeves.
By the time I showered and towel-dried my hair, Paige had produced two sodas and a bowl of buttery popcorn.
“Thanks,” I said, accepting the can of Diet Coke that Paige handed me.
We settled on her bed, the bowl between us, and watched the movie we’d seen a hundred times and could quote lines from. It was one we watched whenever we couldn’t decide what to pick or if there was nothing
on TV.
When the credits rolled, we looked at each other and laughed. “When she trips down the stairs and drops her tray,” Paige said. “I know I’m not supposed to laugh, but I can’t help it. It’s too funny.”
“What does that say about us if we laugh at things like that?” I asked, grinning.
Paige got up and stretched. “That we’re kind of mean, but we own it.”
�
��Ex-actly.”
We laughed and I loved how things felt right at that moment. It was what I’d needed—time by myself to think and then zero weirdness from Paige.
Paige looked over at her desk, then back at me. “Ugh,” she said. “The rest of our homework. And I have to study for a history quiz.”
I looked over at my own desk. “I’ve got a lot to do too. And I’ll probably have to even study tomorrow.”
Paige nodded. “Same.”
“Let’s go to the library and get it done there,” I said. “I saw Jasmine at the stable and if I run into her now in our common room, it would be way too soon.”
“Gotcha. And there are too many distractions in here. Let’s go.”
I slid my feet into black flip-flops and grabbed my book bag. When I put it over my shoulder, I almost tipped to the side. I was kind of surprised that the handles hadn’t torn off yet from the crazy weight of everything I was carrying.
Paige got her bag ready and we left.
“I was thinking,” Paige said. “What if we go out to dinner after we study? Now that we can order food—we could get something fun and maybe eat at the media center?”
“Sounds good to me,” I said. “We’ll have to get something we haven’t had in forever—like Chinese or Mexican.”
“Perfect,” Paige said. She looked at me for a second, then at the sidewalk.
“What’s wrong?”
Paige shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong. I just feel bad about asking you this and you can say no, but would you mind if I invited Ryan?”
“Paige! Of course I don’t care. Text him the second we get to the library and see if he wants to meet us. It’ll be fun.”
Paige smiled. “I think so too. I just didn’t want to make you feel weird or anything.”
“It’s not weird,” I said. “I want him to hang out with us. Unless you guys want to have dinner alone?”
“No way,” Paige said quickly. “I want you there and if Ryan can come, then it’s a bonus.”
We reached the library and started up the thousand stone stairs that led up to the entrance. Okay, okay. It was more like twenty—Paige and I had counted one day when we were bored—but my heavy bag made it feel like way more. We walked through the glass-and-gold revolving doors and stopped in the lobby.
We looked at the stairs, then at the elevator. “Laziness all the way,” I said.
“Done,” Paige said. She pushed the button and we waited for the elevator doors to open. Out of habit, I pulled out my phone to check if I had any texts. Not that I would—Paige was my only friend and no one else was texting me right now. The door dinged and without looking up, I stepped into the elevator, following Paige.
The doors closed and I realized there were three of us in the elevator.
Paige.
Callie.
And I.
Paige, standing between Callie and me, looked over at Callie and gave her a friendly smile.
“Hey,” Callie said, obviously saying it to Paige. She’d pulled her long black hair back with a skinny white headband that looked amazing.
“You here to study too?” Paige asked.
I kept my eyes on the elevator buttons, willing the elevator to move faster. It shouldn’t take so long to get to the seventh floor!
“Yeah,” Callie said. Her voice was calm and friendly toward Paige. None of her words were directed to me—it was completely a conversation between them. “My English teacher gave us so many pages to read over the weekend—he should have just assigned the entire book.”
Paige laughed. “Been there. But you’ll get it done.”
I hated every second of this.
My best friend and forever ex-best friend were having a conversation as if I weren’t inches away from them. I wasn’t mad at Paige—she had every right to talk to Callie. They’d been friends pretty much since I’d met Callie.
Callie and I didn’t look at each other once. The elevator door opened and all three of us stepped forward at the same time. I dropped back, letting Paige and Callie out first.
“See you, Paige,” Callie said. She smiled at Paige—like she used to smile at me—and walked away.
“I’m sorry,” Paige said, turning to me and touching my arm. “I’m still trying how to figure out what my relationship is with Callie. It’s—”
“Don’t,” I said. “Really. You guys are friends and you should be. So don’t even apologize for talking to her.”
Paige nodded, not saying anything. I started walking—not wanting to continue the conversation. We walked past dozens of dark wooden bookcases until we reached our fave table. Luckily, it was empty.
“We should just hang a ‘reserved’ sign on this table,” Paige said. “And maybe people would think the librarians did it or something.”
“I love it. This is the only table where we do our best work.”
“It’s because no one ever comes up here and the librarians aren’t stalking us like we’re going to eat something or try and smuggle in a drink.”
“They have been more stalkery than usual,” I said. “They should know that the only reason we come here is to work. Why would we be up here on the ancient, musty book floor anyway?”
Paige grinned. “So. True.”
We unloaded our book bags and sat down. Paige took out her phone and started texting. After a few seconds, she closed the phone.
“Okay. I texted Ryan. We’ll see what he says.”
Paige put the phone on the table and had barely moved her hand when the phone buzzed. She grabbed it so fast, she almost knocked it off the table. She flipped it open and the second I saw her smile—I knew.
“He said yes,” Paige said. “He said to text him whenever we’re done with studying and he’ll meet us here and we’ll walk over together.”
“Awesome,” I said. “We can grab a room with a giant flat screen and watch something we’d all like.”
Paige wrinkled her nose. “Like … what? Football? What do boys watch? I don’t want to pick something that’s girly that he’d hate.”
“He’d feel the same way about watching something for guys,” I said. “He’d probably be uncomfortable if he was watching sports and you weren’t into it. So we’ll channel surf and find something for all of us—something funny and easy to watch. No worries.”
“Okay.” Paige let out a breath and opened her book.
Then she closed it. “Should I go change my clothes or something?” she asked.
I eyed her black keyhole top, vintage jeans, and red ballet flats. “Nope. You look great,” I said.
“Okay,” Paige said again, smiling. She reopened her book.
Paige was getting more and more comfortable with Ryan, but she was still awkward around him just like I’d been for months with Jacob. I was glad she trusted my advice and that this was something I could help her with.
We started on the rest of our homework and I tried to shake off our—well, Paige’s—interaction with Callie. I’d made my choice to lie about what had really happened with Jacob to protect Callie’s feelings and I had to stick with it. I’d never tell Callie the truth and that meant she’d never be my friend again. But in a way, I felt like I deserved it. Eric had been the perfect boyfriend and I’d been confused about my feelings—thinking I liked Jacob. I didn’t deserve either guy.
I directed my attention back to my homework. This was what things were going to be like for a long time. But sometimes, all I wanted was for things to go back the way they used to be. Eric and I—so happy and building our relationship. Callie being my best friend and the only person I wanted to talk to the second I got to the stable. I wanted Jacob and I to be … friends. Right? Friends. But most of all, I wanted a complete do-over at my birthday party.
Stop thinking about it, I told myself. It’s over. Done. Just keep focusing on riding and school.
I pushed the thoughts out of my brain and for the next two hours, Paige and I worked. Paige lifted her head and put down her pen.
> “We’re done, right?” Paige asked. “I mean, we can stay longer if you want, but my brain is overloaded.”
“Mine too. It is Saturday and look—we’re, like, the only ones here. Text Ryan and tell him we’re done.”
While Paige texted him, I cleared off my side of the table. Paige’s phone buzzed and she nodded at it.
“He’ll meet us out front in five minutes,” Paige said. “Should we gloss first?”
I smiled. “You’re asking me that question?”
We took our stuff into the bathroom and I pulled out my lip gloss bag. The zipper would barely close on the purple-and-white-striped bag—it was so full. I picked up a new flavor—vanilla cherry—that I’d found a few days ago in my old makeup bag. I carefully applied my gloss and Paige did the same. I handed her my purse brush and after she ran it through her red-gold hair, I brushed my hair and pulled it into a low messy bun—pulling out pieces to make it look less balletlike and more beachy.
“Ready?” I asked.
Paige nodded. “I think so. Let’s go.”
We left the library and walked down the steps. Ryan was waiting on the sidewalk just like he said he would be. He smiled at us, but his grin got wider when he looked at Paige. He was the perfect guy for Paige—sweet, smart, and cute. But he didn’t act like he knew he was hot—that’s what made him even better. His short, dark brown hair contrasted with his fair skin and his eyes were an intense bluish-green.
“Good idea about eating out,” Ryan said. “My roommate said the caf was serving something gross tonight—meatloaf?”
We shuddered collectively.
“Yep, it was definitely the right choice,” I said. “Paige and I were just saying that we were in the mood for something different tonight. Chinese or Mexican?”
Ryan nodded. “Ooh, Chinese sounds awesome—it’s been a while since I’ve had it.”
“Me too,” Paige said. “I haven’t had it since I got back to school and I ate it, like, once a week all summer. My mom always tries to order from this fancy place, but whenever she’s not home I order it from a tiny restaurant a few blocks away that serves it the best.”
“We’ll probably end up getting an order of everything,” I said, smiling. “You’re making me hungry.”
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