“This is seriously happening, isn’t it?” Her face paled when he moved toward her. “Don’t come any closer!” He froze but she cringed from him anyway.
“Eden, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”
“Is that like, an angel rule or something?” she asked, her breaths coming faster.
Az winced. “No, it’s a boyfriend rule. Not all angels are good.”
“Neither are all boyfriends.”
“I used to be the good kind. Of angel,” he clarified. “Bound, like Gabriel. I got in trouble. The wings, they’re like probation.” He forced himself to stop the ramble and met her eyes.
“Gabe too?” She took a shuddering breath, shaking her head. “No. No, I’ve seen Gabe with his shirt off. I’ve gone swimming with him.”
Az nodded. “The Bound don’t have wings. Neither do the Fallen.” So Fall. Lose the wings and you’ll look normal enough for her to love you. Az squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push the thoughts away, make them stop. The Fallen aren’t punished for love.
He lowered his hand to his pocket. “I understand. If you changed your mind. If you don’t love me. If you can’t.” Look how worthless you are. He didn’t want to call Gabriel, not while Gabe was at Kristen’s, but if it got any worse there would be no other choice.
“I didn’t say that,” she said.
He concentrated on Eden, trying to gauge her reaction. Her expression still hovered somewhere between panic and disbelief. She was holding her own though. She hadn’t left, hadn’t lost it. It didn’t guarantee she wouldn’t, but it was enough to push the darkest thoughts away.
She stared at him for a long moment. “What’s green mean?”
“Green?”
“They’ve always been blue.” She lifted a finger to the corner of her eye. “If they go yellow when you’re scared, what’s green?”
“Blue and yellow?” He tried out a smile. “Happy fear? Hope?”
He watched as she struggled with herself before she slowly crossed the room. She sat on the bed with him, against the headboard, closer but keeping her distance.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Does this change things?”
She looked up at him, exasperated. “Az, you’re telling me you’re an angel. This is either the most messed up day ever or I need to be locked in a psych ward. I’d say it changes things.”
He scooted closer to her. “I meant…does it change us.”
Her brow wrinkled. “You’ve had them the whole time, right?” He nodded, his heart in his throat as she seemed to consider. “Anything else you wanna get off your chest?"
Az dropped his hands to hers. So much, he thought. “How are you okay with this?” he asked. It didn’t feel real. Her still being there.
She pulled her hands away slowly. “I don’t know.” Her voice grew even quieter. “If I freak out and leave, I lose you. I don’t want that.” Her fingers found his again, entwining with them as their eyes met. “I want you. And if this is you, well…”
The tension in his shoulders released as her arms wrapped around him. The truth he’d been dreading since the moment he’d met her had come out and she hadn’t run. Hadn’t broken things off. Hope flared inside him. Just for a moment he let himself believe Gabriel was wrong.
Just for a moment he let himself believe things would be okay.
Chapter 5
Ivy grew thick along the back of the house, the broken path across the yard lost under green tendrils. Gabriel didn’t bother hiding his presence, using his key to slip in the back door, an old servant’s entrance that opened to a narrow staircase. He didn’t turn on the light. Out of habit, his fingers found the wall to guide him.
There was no sound in the stairway, nothing from the hall. One fluid movement took him into Kristen’s room. The door swung on well-oiled hinges, clicking quietly shut behind him.
She didn’t look up when he entered, though he knew she was aware he’d arrived. He watched her for a moment, a long leg balanced on the edge of her vanity table as she painted her toenails a shade quite close to black. Finally, with a breath across the polish, she glanced at the mirror, meeting his eyes through the reflection.
“You haven’t been answering your phone,” she said, not turning to him. She capped the polish and dropped it into a drawer.
“I came as soon as I could.”
Kristen swiveled the chair toward him finally, her face indifferent. The quiver in her lip was so slight, he almost missed it.
“Oh, Kristen,” he said quietly. He didn’t have to read her mind to guess her thoughts. “I should have called. Did you think I wasn’t coming?” She seemed to give in suddenly, forgetting the pedicure and hurrying across the floor to throw herself into his arms. He hugged her tight.
“How’s my little black raincloud?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, he took stock. She wore a dirty dress, the antique fabric tattered and torn, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary for Kristen. He’d half hoped that she’d been holding her own, even with her appearance. The room gave her away.
On the top of the dresser were ten writing utensils. Lined up in a row, the pattern was simple enough, a pencil higher than the blue felt tip beside it, the marker after rising again, even with the pencil. Up, down, up, down across the polished wood. Iambic pentameter in pens. On her nightstand, the hairclips seemed random until he counted them. A row of five, of seven, of five again.
“Kristen, haikus?” He cupped her chin in his hand. She wouldn’t look at him. “You should have left a message! I would have come!” She started to speak but he shushed her. He bowed his head, concentrating until he picked up her thoughts.
At first, he only heard her fears. …came back this time but what if I’m too much of a burden and are the pencils straight think of something else so he doesn’t see how bad… A rush of poetry assaulted him, the lines and couplets screaming past his ears in stereo. He raised his hands to her shoulders and shut his eyes tight.
“Kristen,” he chided, then softened his tone. “You’re not a burden. Now, let me fix it, okay?” He squeezed her shoulders. Under his fingers, she relaxed a bit, giving in. Every few weeks since he and Az had found her, Gabe had wiped Kristen’s mind clear. Saned her back to herself. It never held long; the roots of the disease had dug deep while she had been human. The residue of her schizophrenia slowly reclaimed her brain if left alone. Gabriel could only clean so much.
A jumble of words and thoughts coated her brain like plaque, flaring knots of insanity wrapping tighter the longer he left the schizophrenia alone. He narrowed his focus, untangling the damaged threads of thought. He’d nearly finished when he came across the first patch of static. It’d appeared suddenly last year, strands of white noise he couldn’t get rid of, as if they were operating on a different frequency. He’d thought at first that she was getting worse, the disease progressing, but the patches never spread.
I should have been here. He swallowed, guilt tightening his throat, and pushed his own thoughts away. The volume skyrocketed, her mind opening to him, playing out like a song, the lines of static humming dully in the background.
Steam poured from the crack under the door, though the shower had been off for ten minutes. Gabriel flipped through a magazine. The glossy pages slid past unread.
“You okay in there?” he called out. The door swung open in answer, the handle bouncing lightly against the wall. Kristen looked almost normal, save her sense of what passed for fashion. He eyed the black ball gown with distaste.
“Look, I know you like to be different and all, but do you have to be so nineteen-forty-six debutante?”
She ignored him, opening one of the dresser drawers, sweeping away the pens and markers. “Silly really,” she said, turning to him. “Anyone with their wits about them would know Sharpies make for bad inspiration. No wonder I hardly wrote anything this week.”
Gabriel tossed the magazine aside, curling a pillow under his chin as he shif
ted to lie on the bed. He ran the words through his head before saying them, trying to find the cadence to make them sound nonchalant. Of course, when he opened his mouth, they came out clipped and too quick. “I need to talk to you about where I was. Why you couldn’t get a hold of me.” The pause after was long enough to be theatrical. Kristen set down the hairbrush.
She said his name, her voice unsure and faltering. Hidden between the syllables were the questions her pride wouldn’t allow her to ask. When she answered though, all insecurities had dropped away.
“Something serious?” The flash in her eyes dared him to attempt an excuse.
“Az has a girl.”
Kristen twisted to the mirror, pulling the brush through the tangled wreck of her hair. “Huh,” she mused to her reflection. “All this time I assumed he’d gone celibate.” Gabriel shot her an impatient glare and she sighed. “I hardly see how this is relevant to me.”
“She’s one of your kind,” he finished. “Or will be.”
For a long moment, Kristen silently brushed blush over her cheekbones. “She’s not dead yet?”
“No,” Gabriel said and then added, “not yet.”
“And Az thinks, what? She’ll go Sider and they’ll skip off into the sunset?” Kristen’s jaw tightened. She went back to the mirror, pulling her eyelid taut, smearing kohl liner with an expert hand.
“This girl, Eden, she’s good for him. He’s doing better than he has in centuries. He’s hardly struggled against the Fall since he met her.” Gabriel fought to blot out the distraction of the room, the theatrical collection of top hats shelved above the mirror. “We want to keep her alive. Is there a way?”
Kristen didn’t answer.
“Please,” Gabriel said. “If you know of something, anything that can—”
“You’re asking if there is a way to keep her mortal?” she said, but the dismissive tone dulled Gabriel’s hope. “Do I know some secret cure I haven’t yet confided?” Her expression softened as she shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said.
Mentally, Gabe shifted goals. “Then I want you to take her in after she changes,” he said. “Keep her safe until we figure things out.”
A slow crescent chiseled its way onto Kristen’s lips. “We’re nearly immortal, Gabriel. You know that.” Her head tilted, brown eyes already glittering with his unintentional slip. “Keep her safe from what, exactly?”
Gabriel glanced away. “Luke.”
“I do recall you mentioning how he enjoys ripping apart Az’s love life.” She lined her other eye and tossed the pencil back into the drawer. “Last girl was straight down the middle, right?”
“Really, Kristen?” Gabriel’s eyes flashed maroon and Kristen dropped her gaze, rummaging through her makeup drawer. “If we can’t help her...if I fail her...when she does go Sider, I want her in the best hands. Ones on the right side. You are the best hands, Kristen.”
“Of course I am.” Kicking a foot up, she shoved off the vanity. The chair hurdled across the floor, past her wall of filing cabinets, carrying Kristen to where it collided against the bed. She leaned closer. “And the best,” she said, her lips humming against his ear, “do not babysit.”
She pulled back, giving the chair a lazy spin. The black taffeta of her dress bloomed around her, made her look almost innocent until she opened her mouth. “Dump her in Queens.”
“With Madeline?” Gabriel’s jaw dropped. “Now you’re just being cruel.”
Kristen’s hands plunged down into the folds of the dress, her head cocking incredulously. “And you’re being selfish. You’re asking me to put myself and every Sider in this house at risk in exchange for what, flattery?”
“What risk?” Gabe argued. “It’s not like he’ll be searching her out. Luke won’t even know she’s a Sider. All I’m asking is that you give her a place to stay, teach her what she needs to know.”
Kristen tapped her finger against her lips.
“Come on, Kristen. Only as long as it takes for her to get a handle on how things work for your kind. We both know Madeline’s loyalties tend toward the Fallen. I don’t know the others well enough to trust them with something this important to me. You’re the only one I trust.”
She sighed dramatically, but a glint of satisfaction found its way to her eyes.
Gabriel slid around her, standing, his head dipped in apology. “Maybe you’re right. I was wrong to think you’d be up to the challenge, what with all your Bronx minions to keep watch over.” It was all he could do to keep the smirk off his lips. Twisting the babysitting comment against her had her face nearly purple. “I know how much you hate doing things out of the kindness of your heart…” He trailed off, waiting.
“It’s not that I don’t like to. It’s just there’s not much kindness in there. I save it for special occasions.” She dropped her foot over one of the armrests, letting it swing for a moment. “And what if the Fallen figure out she’s with Az. If they come after her here—”
“Luke doesn’t know she’s going to be a Sider. Hopefully, he never will. Right now, he’s looking for a mortal, but if you’re right Eden won’t be one much longer.”
Kristen dropped her head back, staring at the ceiling. “This would be such an inconvenience.”
Gabriel held his breath.
Finally, a world-weary sigh escaped her. “Well then, I suppose we have quite a bit of work ahead of us.” She smiled at his confusion. “Special occasions require a party.”
Chapter 6
Being Bound had its advantages. First of all, faster travel options. Sometimes Gabriel pitied Az, having to take the subway when he wanted to get around.
Gabriel materialized in the doorway of a closed shop he’d scouted earlier in a quiet neighborhood down the street from the hotel he and Az had made home. The crowds had thinned, the air cool and still. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Az answered on the second ring.
“It’s taken care of,” Gabriel said.
“Already? What’d Kristen say?”
Gabriel hesitated. “She’s an option. We can talk more when I—”
Boots scraped against the asphalt behind him. Gabriel fell silent, concentrating. Someone was there, walking in the road, instead of on the sidewalk. The sound traveled well in the stillness.
“Did I lose you?” Az asked. Gabriel didn’t answer. Luke had worn the same style of boots, the soles patterned in hobnails, long enough for Gabriel to recognize the distinctive sound.
“Is she with you?” Gabriel whispered, trying to keep the urgency from his voice, avoiding Eden’s name in case he was overheard.
“No, I walked her home half an hour ago. Why?”
“Call her. Make sure she’s safe. Do not come outside.” He hung up without elaborating. “Spectacular,” he muttered.
Luke made no effort to soften his steps. Gabriel did his part in return, slowing enough to allow him to catch up. It was best to get the little tête-à-tête over with.
For a long minute, neither of them spoke, walking side by side. Finally, just before the street merged into the main road, Gabriel gave in, flashing a glare.
“Gabriel!” Luke cried, bursting into a grin so wide it gouged his cheekbones. “My, my, my! It’s been ages, hasn’t it? Tell me…” The grin fell away, his eyes reflecting maroon in the diffused glow of the streetlights. “What exactly brings you to the neighborhood?”
Gabriel gave him a once-over. “Vacation.” In a dream world, Luke would have laughed and left it at that, the two of them just passing strangers in the night. Unfortunately, the Fallen were more nightmare than dream.
From the look of him, Luke was still playing gigs in dingy bars. Still partial to the cheesy Jim Morrison look he’d had when Gabriel had seen him last. He’d even grown his hair out for the part, black curls dangling below his collar.
“And is this a working vacation?” Luke probed. He leaned against the railing of the Boardwalk, his tight leather pants creaking as he adjusted his stance. They’d played the game h
undreds of times. Luke would have his questions, knowing the Bound couldn’t lie. He flicked his jaw in the direction of the hotel. “If you have some free time, maybe I’ll stop by.” A satisfied smile flickered across his lips. Gabriel’s heart sank. Luke never bluffed. The worry now was how long he’d been onto them. What he had seen.
“Are we done here?” Gabriel turned, heading back toward the hotel, not bothering to conceal his destination.
“I really have been bad about keeping in touch,” Luke called after him. “I owe Az a visit, don’t I?” When Gabriel didn’t offer up a reaction, Luke went on. “Still trying to save your lost little lamb?”
Gabriel paused, turning back toward him. “Az might not be ready yet, but one day he will be. He’ll use the wings. He’ll come home.”
Luke shrugged. “Agree to disagree,” he said. “Tell him I approve of this latest girl. She’s quite pretty, don’t you think?” Luke pushed off the railing, covering the ground Gabriel had put between them in a lazy stroll and moving past. Just before he turned onto the quiet side street he spoke again. “She looks like a fighter. And they’re so much more fun to break.”
Gabriel stumbled to the hotel, the elevator ride passing in a blur. Az had been strong enough to keep from choosing a side so far, but if Luke got a hold of Eden, tortured her, it would be the catalyst to set off his Fall. Az opened the door before Gabriel could use his key.
“What’s wrong,” he demanded.
“Is she safe? Did you call her?”
“She’s fine. What the hell happened?”
“Luke.” His voice broke. “It’s Luke. He knows we’re here. In this hotel. Az, he knows about Eden.”
Az’s legs went out, dropping him onto one of the beds. “How much?” he whispered.
The Siders Box Set Page 3
