Eden closed the door behind her. She ground her tears away with her palm before she made her way to the kitchen. Jarrod sat at the table by himself.
“He okay?” Jarrod asked.
She shook her head, blinking hard. “No,” she said. “He’s not.”
“Should be about ten hours until we’re out of the woods, right?”
“It’s not the same as it is with the mortals. He’s fighting against Falling.” Her voice broke. She looked around, stepping closer to where Jarrod sat. “Where are Adam and Libby?”
“She left a few minutes ago. Didn’t say anything. Think she needed air.”
Jarrod was suddenly very interested in the can he was holding. “Adam left right after…”
Eden closed her eyes. He knew what she’d done. They all did.
“Did he say anything?” she asked.
Jarrod wouldn’t look at her. “Nothing you want to hear.”
She flicked her tongue across her lips, rapping her knuckles against the tabletop as she tried to fight a breakdown. “Nothing I don’t deserve.”
Jarrod glanced up for a second before he went back to the can.
Eden covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle the sob and leapt up, grabbing her coat. She couldn’t be there when the bedroom door opened again. Couldn’t see Az that way, broken because she’d given in, wanted to love him again.
Jarrod called her name, but she was already halfway down the second flight of stairs. By the time she’d hit the security door, her phone was going off. She ignored his call, thumbing it to silent.
She stopped short on the stairs. Not a single Sider in sight. There haven’t been any in days, she realized. What if Luke was right? What if the Bound knew about them, were taking out the Siders a few at a time? Libby had just left.
Adam.
She had to find them.
Her feet numbed as an hour passed, then another, the cold cutting through her as she wandered the streets. She’d checked Milton’s, the alley, and then taken the train aimlessly, getting off at random stops to search. She tried to keep her mind on Adam, but it staggered back to Az every time.
I’m going to lose him. All over again. She stopped, leaning against a building, everything inside her raw, ripped open. Hollow. She closed her eyes, but when she did, all she saw was Az’s face as he’d gone over the balcony. The emptiness after, swept away and drowning in her grief. What wouldn’t she have given in those days for even another minute with him?
I can’t watch him Fall. But what if he needed her now, and she wasn’t there? She threaded through the streets toward home, broke into a jog as she turned up the alley.
It wasn’t empty.
Her brain skipped right over relief and splashed into denial. Libby stood in front of a boy no taller than her. She took his hands. A breeze whipped her hair into corn silk twists as she leaned into his lips. What had been a Sider crumbled into a swirl of ash.
“That’s impossible,” Eden said, but her voice betrayed her, shaking. Libby turned toward the sound and smiled. She lifted her arms.
“Ta-da! God, I’ve been dying to tell you! Especially when you were so upset that you were the only one!” she said, smiling as she dropped her arms back to her sides. “I’m fairly positive it’s just us though.”
“But when I dosed you,” Eden said suddenly, clinging to the only evidence of denial she could. “If you were like me, saving it wouldn’t…” She stopped when she saw Libby’s amusement. “You were suffering so bad...”
“I was pretty amazing, wasn’t I? Acting classes,” she said. “Since I was seven. Lead in the school play three years running. After college I was going to make a go of it in Hollywood, but I got a better offer.” She flexed her fingers, rolling her wrist with a grimace. “I’d already racked up quite a list of sins by last summer. Then I met Boyfriend and added a few more. I bet you thought you were the only one who could snag an angel too, huh?”
“Luke,” Eden said. Her brain seemed a dozen steps behind, too slow to keep up. “You didn’t have a suicide pact. You’re with Luke.” She felt sick.
“Turned out I was dating the ultimate bad boy. He was a bit surprised when he checked my path.” Libby smiled. “Luke told me everything. Luckily, I decided to let him speed things up.” Her eyes were far off, wistful. “My death was so beautiful.” She seemed to refocus suddenly, pity creeping into her face. “What Az did to you, though? Lying. Manipulating you. Letting you wake up alone? I can’t even imagine.”
“He did it to save me,” Eden choked out.
“From the Basement?” Libby’s voice brimmed with sympathy. “They’re not so bad. Not compared to Az.”
Eden shook her head, her expression tightening into a glower as she tried to stare Libby down. Libby didn’t return the glare but didn’t break it either. “I got in with the side that will help us, Eden. The Bound will try to wipe us out. Can’t you at least consider changing your mind?”
“Never going to happen.”
Libby sighed. “I didn’t think so.” She glanced away. “I’m supposed to pass along a message. First, Az loves you. At least I think he would want me to say so. But I’m supposed to give you—”
“Az?” The name came from Eden’s lips, hard and strong.
Libby paused, awkwardly. “Oh God, Eden, I thought you knew. Az is with Luke now.”
“He Fell?” The words were barely audible, but loud enough that they brought an uncomfortable giggle from Libby.
“Of course not! No, he’s with Luke.”
“You’re bluffing,” Eden whispered, swallowing hard. “Az is…”
“Struggling to keep from Falling because of what you did?” Libby said, gently. “That’s where he was when you left. But that was hours ago. It’s possible someone rushed into the apartment. Someone who told him he had to come right away. That you were in trouble.” Libby fell silent, waiting for Eden to make the connection.
“You,” she whispered.
Libby shook her head, dropping her voice. “There’s no way I had time. Try again.”
Eden’s brain ricocheted through the list. Kristen. Jarrod. Adam. She snapped her eyes up to Libby. “Adam?” she said.
Libby reached into the pocket of her white hoodie. “And what a twist that was! I didn’t think he’d answer my phone call. He was so furious when he left. But once I told him how angel eyes tend to influence and explained Luke’s offer to him, he was all for it.”
“Adam would never betray me,” Eden said, her tongue flicking across her lips.
“He thinks he’s protecting you from Az. Blames everything on the angel sway.” Libby pulled something out of the pocket and held her fist out to Eden. “Right now you’re playing it through: Would Az have been strong enough to make it out of the apartment, down the stairs? Would Adam have been able to get him out before Gabe noticed? Luke figured you’d find it a bit hard to swallow.”
Eden stared in horror at Libby’s fist. “What is that,” she demanded.
Libby twisted her palm up and opened it. A feather twirled between her fingers, matted with maroon.
“It’s amazing how much damage a pair of gardening shears can do,” Libby whispered, brushing it away and rubbing her hands on her jeans.
Eden’s resolve finally crumbled, a stubborn tear tracing down her cheek. “It doesn’t matter. He can heal.”
“True, but how much pain can he take before Falling seems like a better option? Especially after you dosed him?” Her eyes drifted down to the feather, swirling in the channeled wind hissing through the alley.
Eden straightened. Her jaw went hard. “Obviously you want something, and you came here, so you want it from me,” she said.
“We want you to listen to reason. Luke tried to get you to see. If you had, it would have saved everyone a lot of unpleasantness.”
“Okay,” Eden said. “Take me to him, to Luke. I’ll listen this time.” She couldn’t keep the note of desperation out of her voice.
“No,” Libby sai
d.
Eden raised her head, surprised. Libby leaned forward, reaching a hand out. Eden flinched as the girl pulled a stray thread from her shoulder.
“Listen, just between us, I think it would be better if you gave him some time to calm down. He’s been a little…violent…lately.” She turned, walking down the sidewalk. “Eden, if you’re really going to fight us on this, bring whoever you have left to round up. Alone, you have no chance.”
“Az!” Eden called out. “Where is he?”
Libby stopped, waiting for a car to pass before she could cross the street. “Keep your phone handy. We’ll be in touch soon.”
Somewhere near, the feather would be drifting on the drafts from passing cars, catching in the sludge. Eden didn’t want to find it.
Chapter 45
Gabe jumped from the couch as Eden burst through the front door, relief nearly stopping his heart as he caught her in his arms. “Where were you? Az is gone! I’ve been calling you for—”
“They’ve got him!” A thick warbling sob choked Eden off. “They have Az!”
He pulled away from her. The girl looked utterly wrecked. She pressed her palms against her eyes. Gabe yanked her hands away, forcing her to look at him. “Who has Az?”
“Luke!” she screamed.
Gabe froze. “How do you know that name?”
“He’s Libby’s boyfriend! They’re both with the Basement!” she said through chattering teeth, her whole body shaking. “I saw her in the alley. Gabe, she can kill Siders!”
“What did she say, Eden?” he asked, gripping her shoulders. “Everything. Maybe she gave something away that you didn’t catch? Where they are?” He was almost frantic, struggling to keep his words from tangling together.
Her mouth compressed into a tight concave line.
“It’s bad.” Her voice broke. “Gabe, it’s really bad.”
His hands drifted from her shoulders, falling to his sides. The rest of his body crumbled with them, until he was on one knee. Tell. Tell it all. I’ve already lost. He forced the thought away, steadied himself with a shaking hand as he took a deep breath. “Did she say that he’d Fallen?”
Eden shook her head.
At least I have her with me, he thought. If Az knows Luke doesn’t have Eden, he’ll hang on. At least, he would have if he hadn’t been dosed. “Then there’s still time,” Gabe said. He tried to make his voice strong, sure. “But we have to get to him. Luke will do whatever it takes to break him.”
Her eyes darted past him, to the bedroom door. “Jarrod!” she screamed.
“Jarrod left, Eden,” he said quietly. “He got a call and took off.”
Her hands folded against her forehead, hiding her face, the fingers tangling in her hair. “I…I lost them.”
“What do you mean you lost them?”
“I mean they’re” —she hesitated— “they’re with Luke now.”
“What?” Gabe’s rage lifted him, until he was bearing down on her from above.
“It was Adam,” she added in a rush. “Adam gave them Az. That’s what she said. I’m supposed to wait for her to call.” Eden swallowed thickly.
“Oh, fuck that,” Gabe seethed. “She expects us to sit around and wait while they…” He didn’t finish the thought. “No. We have to do something. We have to find him.” He tried to hide the glimmer of maroon he knew flooded his eyes, the anger a quicksilver of colors that would be glistening like an oily sheen.
“How?” He could hear the desolation in her question, the acceptance. Az is going to Fall. He caught the thought as it drifted through her mind. He’s going to Fall because of me. “I don’t know what to do,” she said, her voice breaking.
It’s over, he thought. His throat burned with confessions.
“Your eyes,” she said. “They’re yellow.”
He stepped toward her; for a second he was sure he was going to collapse and held his arms out to her. Her embrace was enough to steady him.
“There’s still time,” he said. “We just need a plan.”
Chapter 46
She won’t help,” Eden repeated yet again. Gabe still hadn’t said anything, staring past her out the window of the subway door. They’d sat as close to the door as they could, Eden sandwiched against the bars that kept her on the bench, with Gabe beside her. The car was packed and stifling, bodies in every seat and filling every space. Eden pulled her leg in, twisting it away from the people, closer to Gabe.
If she hadn’t heard of Adam and Jarrod’s betrayal from Libby’s lips, she wouldn’t have believed it, would have died defending them, out of loyalty. If anyone had told her a week ago that this was a possibility, she would have laughed. Because of their loyalty to her.
All lies, she thought. The memory of Jarrod’s words on their walk slithered inside her. She felt like she needed to throw up; anything to get them out of her.
“Gabe,” she tried again. “I know her. She won’t help.”
“You know her,” he said. “Now.” He smiled at her as if everything should have been clear and Eden wondered if maybe he’d lost it a little.
Eden shifted in her seat under his gaze. “Exactly,” she said. “If there’s no incentive for Kristen to get involved she isn’t going to bother.”
Gabe sighed and went back to the window, his arm behind her on the back of the plastic bench.
“So, we’re wasting our time,” Eden pressed. She was hoping he’d agree, tell her it was stupid and that they could get off the train at the next stop.
The air was toxic, cologne and perfume and office stink, not nearly enough oxygen. I’m going to suffocate in here, she thought again. She gulped in the stale air, trying to slow her breathing. Her fingers wrapped a death grip around the steel pole. The train lurched, and a hand slid over hers. It pulled away near instantly, but it was too late.
Touch slipped out, sending a shudder through her, a long moan humming from her lips. At the brush of contact, she felt the power all that poison, all that Touch built up inside her, too much, overflowing. I can get rid of it, she found herself thinking. Here, now. I can just… Her fingers uncurled like spider legs, inching closer to skin, any skin.
Fingers twined into hers and she dropped her head back in anticipation, waiting for the release, clenching her teeth, the air that escaped screaming like a steam valve.
But it didn’t come. Someone had a tight hold of the hand in her lap now, too.
When she looked, Gabe had a vise grip on her. Her fingers had gone white. She licked her lips, pressing them together, trying to focus.
“Better?” he asked cautiously, as if she would lash out any second and tear through the car.
She nodded slowly.
“Sure?” he asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said automatically.
He shook his head, releasing her.
She rubbed her hands together, the fingertips still tingling and eager for more.
“I saw. Wasn’t your fault. But you need to save it for later.” He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. She wasn’t sure if he wanted to give her comfort, or just wanted her further from the temptation.
“Can I ask you something?” She waited for his nod before she went on. “What will happen to Az? If he’s Fallen?”
Gabe looked away, his words coming slowly. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“I need to.” She squeezed his hand, prodding him on.
“His impulses will take over the first few weeks. He’ll live off anger, hate. It will be all he knows. He’ll cause pain just for the sake of watching another in agony. He’ll glory in it. The Az you know will be dead, Eden.”
A tear slipped free, slid across her temple and absorbed into where her head lay against the shoulder of his coat. “Will he remember me?”
“He’ll be confused. It’s likely he won’t remember you at first, but he’ll remember me. He’ll see me as an enemy. Eden, if Az does Fall, it would be better if he forgot you.” Gabe took a deep breath. He finall
y turned to face her. “But we’re not going to let it get to that. We’re going to get Kristen’s help.”
“Gabe,” she said, trying to make her voice gentle as she sat upright again. “Kristen’s heartless.”
“Trust me, she’s never quite been that. She’ll help us if we make it worth her while. Kristen can be an amazing asset when she chooses.” His face clouded over. “We need her, Eden.”
“She told me she owed you.” He nodded. “But she said you were even, because she took me in.”
“Then I’ll owe her. She’ll love that,” he said, giving her a weak smile. “Kristen hates the Fallen. If it means keeping Az from them, she’ll help. And if that’s not enough…” His expression darkened. “Just trust me. I’ll convince her, Eden.”
Chapter 47
“Are you out of your fucking minds?” Kristen gripped the dark walnut railing, her face twisted by shadows the roaring fireplace cast. Eden tensed, sure Kristen would go over. Instead she yanked back and came down the stairs like a wash of fluid, the red taffeta of her dress blooming around her.
She pointed to Sebastian, who had ushered Eden and Gabe into the foyer. “You. Go!”
“Kristen,” he started, his eyes venturing between the three of them.
“Now!” she demanded. “Out!” He hesitated, inching away slowly as if waiting for her to suddenly change her mind, decide she wanted him there. Finally, Sebastian retreated through the door to the kitchen.
“Hey, Kristen.” Gabe smiled apologetically. “Sorry to just drop by unannounced, but I know how much you’ve missed all your girl time with Eden.”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you want. You asked for an alliance and I specifically told you no. Did. I. Not?” She drilled her finger closer to Eden with each sentence. Each word twisted into a hook, barbed to yank from Eden any hope she had of Kristen making this easy.
“We need you. We need your help,” Eden said. “We need your—”
“You need my numbers. You need an army, and you can’t have mine! Did she tell you the Fallen are able to kill Siders?” she spat, her eyes once again on Gabe. “Or was it the Bound, Gabriel? You knew she needed to be prepared for this. You knew her abilities would bring them out, and yet you did nothing! You said we were immortal!”
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