She felt herself stiffen and forced herself to relax. “He died when I was twelve years old.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No. I was an only child.” She jumped up. “Do you want more coffee?”
He glanced at his cup in surprise. He hadn’t taken a sip yet. “No, thanks. I’m fine.”
“I’m going to freshen mine. I’ll be right back.”
Tina hurried into the kitchen and took a deep breath. She lifted the coffeepot, but her hands were shaking too much to pour the hot liquid. She set it back on the counter and closed her eyes.
What had she been thinking? She should never have brought him back here. They wouldn’t sit and stare at each other all evening. They would talk. Of course the subject of her life would come up. It was only natural that he would ask about her parents.
She should have been prepared, but she wasn’t. No one asked about her father anymore. No one even mentioned his name. It had been so long ago that most people had forgotten all about him. And what had happened.
But Tom would have no way of knowing that. He couldn’t possibly know about her father.
She turned on the cold water and splashed it on her face. Having him ask about her father was the best reminder she could have had. She didn’t get involved with men. She made it a point to stay away from men who had the hint of danger that Tom carried.
She especially didn’t get involved with men who carried guns.
Standing up straight, she dried her face and picked up her coffee cup, then walked back into the living room. Tom watched her, concern on his face.
“I’m sorry. Did I say something to upset you?”
“It wasn’t your fault. I guess I’m still grieving for my mother.” It was the truth, but it wasn’t what had upset her. She couldn’t tell him about her father.
He set his coffee cup on the table and reached for her hands. “I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you. It sounds like it was just the two of you for a long time.”
“Thank you. It has been hard.”
“And you don’t have any siblings to share it with.”
“No.” She looked at him. “What about you? Do you think you have any siblings?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I hope so.” He shrugged. “I don’t like the thought of not having any connections in this world.”
His words struck her, and she nodded slowly. “I think that’s part of my grief for my mother,” she said quietly. “Now I’m alone in the world. It’s a little overwhelming.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, grasping his hands more tightly, feeling stricken. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was really insensitive of me.”
“Don’t worry about it. My situation is temporary, I hope.”
“I hope so, too.” She forced herself to put her own emotions out of her mind. “Do you want to talk about Grand Springs? See if something sounds familiar?”
He hesitated, then finally nodded. But she thought she saw disappointment in his eyes. “Were you at the ball when the Steeles were killed?”
She shook her head. “I was working at the hospital. Which was a good thing, because they needed all the hands available when the injured people started coming in.”
“Did any of them talk to you?”
“Most of them did. They were terrified. What happened at the ball was both horrifying and frightening.”
“What did they tell you?” He leaned forward.
“No one saw the actual murders. But they heard the gunshots and saw a man running with a duffel bag.” She hesitated, then added, “And most of them saw you running after him.”
“Did any of them know me?”
“Not that they told me. And I’m sure that Detective Jones has asked that same question. If any of them had known you, I’m sure he’d have let you know.”
“You said there were a lot of patients that night. Did the killer shoot other people besides the Steeles?”
“No, he must have shot David and Lisa, grabbed a duffel bag that David was carrying, and ran away. The other patients were hurt in the stampede that happened after the shooting. Most of the injuries were fairly minor, thank goodness.”
Tom brooded about what she had told him. Then he said, “That’s not much help.”
“I know.” She looked at him with sympathy. “But in a couple of days, when you’re feeling better, you can look around Grand Springs yourself and see if anything looks familiar.”
“I’ll do that.” Tom leaned closer and searched her face. “How can I ever thank you, Tina?”
It was hard to breathe. She stared at Tom, saw the heat in his whiskey-colored eyes, and felt herself tremble. “No thanks are necessary.”
“This isn’t standard procedure for all your patients,” he said, and the light in his eyes changed. She recognized the change immediately, although she had very little experience with it. It was desire.
He stared at her as he bent closer, and she couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. The next instant, he touched his lips to hers.
Chapter 6
Tina’s first reaction was surprise. She hesitated as Tom’s mouth brushed hers gently. Then, as his lips settled on hers, she instinctively moved closer, as unfamiliar sensations coursed through her.
Her heart began to pound and her skin felt far too sensitive. Tom touched her cheek with his hand, and she shivered. Ripples of pleasure started in her abdomen and flowed outward, engulfing her.
Then Tom groaned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. His chest felt hard and solid against hers, and her breasts tingled beneath the sweater she wore. He splayed his hand on her back, and she felt each of his fingers, every tiny change in pressure as he touched her.
A small voice in her head ordered her to stop, told her she was asking for trouble. But she ignored it. She couldn’t pull herself away from the sensations crashing over her. She felt like she was drowning, and she welcomed the oblivion.
“Tina,” he gasped, lifting his mouth from hers. She forced her eyes open to find his gaze on her face, his eyes filled with desire. “Tell me to stop.”
The voice in her head urged the same thing, but the newly awakened passion thickening her blood was too powerful to deny. “I don’t want to stop,” she whispered. She reached out to touch him, her hand tentative, and he grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. She could feel his heart thundering against her fingers.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment I woke up in the hospital and saw you looking down at me,” he said, his voice thick. “And I know I have no right.”
“You have whatever rights I give you,” she said, her voice fierce.
He groaned again and crushed her mouth beneath his. This time his kiss wasn’t gentle and tentative. He held her head with both hands and plundered her mouth, sweeping inside with his tongue when she gasped. Tina’s heart pounded and her hands shook. Tom was drawing her into a vortex of passion, a strange and alien place that she’d never encountered before.
She was standing on the edge of a cliff, and she wanted to jump off the edge, she realized. She wanted to hand control over to Tom, to go wherever her passion took her. The knowledge was like an icy slap in the face. All her fears, all her caution came rushing back in one overwhelming wave. She jerked away from him, panting, staring at him with shock.
He opened his eyes to look at her, and the passion faded from his eyes, replaced by concern. He reached for her hand. She flinched and tried to draw away, but he held onto her.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“I’m sorry,” she said, swallowing hard. But she continued to meet his eyes. She refused to be a coward. “I guess you just took me by surprise.”
Tom studied Tina and the expression in her eyes. There was much more than surprise in her face. Tina was afraid.
Of him.
The knowledge was like a blow to his chest.
&nb
sp; “I’m sorry,” he said, easing away from her, but continuing to hold her hand. “I should never have done that.” He gave her what he was sure was a ragged smile. “I had no right to touch you. I’m glad you were smart enough to realize that.”
Tina shook her head. “That’s not it,” she whispered. “It’s not you, Tom.”
“Then what is it?”
She looked away from him then. “I guess I’m just cautious about getting involved with men. I wasn’t expecting you to kiss me.”
There was more than caution in Tina’s face. There was naked fear. It was more than a fear of him. It was almost as if she were afraid of the emotions she had felt. He wondered why, but knew he couldn’t ask right now. She was already feeling too vulnerable. He saw the raw emotion in her eyes.
He couldn’t push her over that edge. But he would find out the truth, sooner or later.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I guess I’m a little impulsive.”
He watched her try to pull herself together. “Another piece of information to add to the puzzle,” she said with a strained smile.
“You got it.” He turned her hand in his and pressed a kiss into her palm. When he felt her tremble, his own desire came back in a rush. He wanted to kiss her again, and keep on kissing her.
Hell, he wanted to do a whole lot more than kiss her. And he knew he couldn’t.
He had no right. He had nothing to offer her.
She swallowed once and pasted a smile on her face.
He was sure it took every fiber of her will.
“Do you want some more coffee or pie?”
“No thanks,” he said easily. “I should probably head back to my apartment. Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”
“No, I’m off tomorrow, but I have a lot of errands to run.” He saw the gratitude on her face. “And you’re probably tired. It is your first day out of the hospital, after all.”
“I am tired.” He was exhausted, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight. Tina was a puzzle, and he desperately wanted to put the pieces together. Almost as much as he wanted to put together the pieces of his own puzzle.
“Do you want me to take you back to your apartment now?”
“That probably would be best.” He gave her a small smile. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
“You couldn’t do that.” Her words were sincere, and he saw a flash of longing in them, quickly hidden. “You’re welcome any time.”
“Thank you, Tina. That means a lot to me.”
She scrambled off the couch and reached for her jacket. “It’s going to be chilly outside. Do you want a sweatshirt or something?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Your ribs are going to hurt more if you get cold and then tense up. Let me get you a sweatshirt.”
Without waiting for him to answer, she ran up the stairs. Moments later she was back again with a faded gray sweatshirt with Colorado State blazoned on the front. It was plenty big for him and sudden jealousy speared him. Had it belonged to an old lover?
“This looks kind of big for you,” he said, trying to make his voice light and teasing. He was probing to see if she would tell him who the sweatshirt belonged to, and he was ashamed of himself. He held his breath, waiting for her answer.
“I like my sweatshirts roomy,” she said, not looking at him.
It was a non-answer, and he wished he had the right to ask her point-blank if the shirt had belonged to another man. But he didn’t have that right. So he slipped the well-worn garment over his head, realizing that it carried her subtle, sweet fragrance.
“Thank you,” he said, watching her. “It probably is getting a little chilly.”
She gave him a strained smile. “Clearly you don’t remember Colorado weather. It’s downright cold at night in November. In fact, it’s already snowed up in the mountains.”
“I’ll have to make sure I have some warm clothes,” he said lightly. “Shall we go?”
The ride back to his hotel was strained. Although he tried, Tom couldn’t suppress his desire for her. It pulsed between them in the darkened car, held in check only by his bewilderment at her strange reaction. He might not remember anything about his past life, but he was certain that fear wasn’t a usual reaction to a kiss.
It was part of the mystery of Tina, and he wanted badly to solve it. But perhaps it was just as well, he told himself. He had no business kissing Tina, or doing anything else with her, until he regained his memory. He had no idea if he was even free to kiss her.
He didn’t feel married, or attached in any way, but he couldn’t trust his perceptions. He had no idea what they were based upon. So he stared out the window at the darkened town and tried to think about something else.
“Here we are,” she said, a few minutes later, pulling into the parking lot. He could hear the strain in her voice. She was probably damn glad to be rid of him this evening. “Let me help you into the apartment.”
“I can manage on my own.”
He got the first real smile from her since he’d kissed her. “I know you think you can. But you did a lot today, considering that you were just released from the hospital. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
Without waiting for an answer, she jumped out of the car and came around to the passenger side. She helped him out of the car, and in spite of his efforts to control himself, his pulse jumped when she wrapped her arm around his waist.
She must have felt his reaction, because she stepped away from him and kept out of arm’s reach as soon as he was upright. She walked next to him, but she held herself stiffly and was careful not to touch him as they headed for the door.
When he stepped inside, he turned to invite her in. But before he could say anything, she shook her head. “I have to run, and I’m sure you want some time to yourself.” She rummaged in her purse and took out a small notebook and a pen. She wrote something on a piece of paper, and handed it to him. “Here’s my phone number. Call me if you need anything, even if it’s in the middle of the night.” She gave him what he was sure she thought was a casual smile. “I keep odd hours, and chances are I’ll be awake.”
“I’ll do that.” He took the paper without taking his eyes off her face. “Thanks again, Tina. Dinner was wonderful. I enjoyed spending time with you.”
For a moment, the panicked fear was back in her face, then it was gone. “I enjoyed it, too. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, all right?”
“Sounds good.”
She hesitated, standing in the doorway for another long moment, then she nodded. “Sleep well, Tom.”
“You, too,” he said softly.
She turned around and walked to her car. She lifted her hand briefly in salute before she drove out of the parking lot. He watched until her taillights had disappeared into the distance, then he slowly closed the door.
“You screwed up big-time,” he said to himself as he turned and looked at the barren apartment. “You’ll be lucky if she comes within twenty feet of you again.”
He desperately hoped it wasn’t true. But the fear on her face was still vivid in his mind, and he eased himself down onto the couch, wondering about it.
Why had Tina been frightened by their kiss? She had claimed she didn’t think he was a criminal. She had been adamant in defending him, in putting the best possible spin on what had happened. So why was she suddenly afraid of him?
She would have to be crazy not to be afraid of you, he told himself roughly. Why would she want to get involved with a man who had no memory, who was more than likely a criminal of some sort?
There was a big difference in being kind to someone and getting involved with them, he reminded himself. Even the most impulsive person would have to think twice about a relationship with a man who had no memory. And Tina was far from impulsive. In fact, he suspected she thought long and hard about any decisions she made.
“It’s a good thing she was keeping her head,” he muttered. “Because I sure wasn’t keeping min
e.”
And it was a sign of his sorry state of mind that he was sitting in this empty apartment, talking to himself. It was time to go to bed.
But he lay in bed, awake, for a long time. The memory of Tina’s mouth, how she had tasted, and how she had felt, her quick, involuntary surrender to him, tormented him far into the night. And the memory of her fear, and her trembling reaction when she’d realized what was happening, played over and over in his mind.
When he finally fell asleep, he was restless and edgy, awakened frequently by disturbing dreams. Tina’s image flashed in and out of them, but when he tried to touch her, she danced out of his reach. By the time he woke in the morning, he was in a foul mood. And the stiffness that assaulted him when he tried to climb out of bed told him it was going to be a very long day.
By late morning he was certain he was about to go out of his mind. Dr. Wilson had told him not to even think about driving for another few days, so he hadn’t left the apartment. He’d been stuck inside, looking for clues to his identity, and nothing had helped him. He’d been certain that if he stared at his belongings long and hard enough, they would give up their secrets.
But the pitifully few things in the apartment had been mute.
He was about to start over in his search when the doorbell rang. Easing himself off the couch, he told himself that it was probably Detective Jones, come to bring him more bad news. And in his present mood, he thought sourly, he was almost looking forward to it.
But when he opened the door, he found Tina standing on the small stoop. She looked nervous.
“Come in,” he said, aware that his heart had begun to thunder in his chest. “What brings you over here?”
She stepped inside the door. “I realized that you weren’t supposed to drive. I wondered if there was anything you needed from the store.” She watched him carefully, reserve in her eyes.
“I hadn’t thought about it, but I suppose I do.” He gave her a grim smile. “As you pointed out, there isn’t much here to eat.”
“I was on my way to the grocery store,” she said. “You’re welcome to come along.”
A Thanksgiving To Remember Page 7
