His eyes blazed, then he framed her face with his hands. “I want to kiss you, Tina. May I?”
She nodded without taking her eyes off his. His pupils dilated, and then he bent his head to touch his lips to hers. He kissed her gently, softly, brushing his mouth against hers and being careful not to kiss her too deeply.
A curl of desire unfurled inside her. She shifted her head and tried to kiss him back, but he nibbled at her lower lip until she moved restlessly against him.
She thought she felt him smile against her mouth, but when she lifted her head, he brushed his lips against her cheek. “Can I kiss you again, Tina?”
“Yes, please,” she said, her voice breathless.
This time, his mouth settled against hers and she felt herself straining toward him. When he touched his tongue to her lips, she opened her mouth to him, hungry for his taste.
Every bit of her felt like it was on fire. When he eased her down onto the couch, she lifted her arms and pulled him close. She felt him shudder, and then he deepened his kiss. Tina felt like she was drowning in sensation. She wrapped her arms around him and held on, suddenly needing to feel his body against hers.
Her breasts throbbed and ached, and she jumped when Tom brushed his hand over her chest. But when he touched the side of her breast gently, letting his fingers travel in a lazy circle, she wanted to shift her body so he was touching more than just the side of her breast. She longed to feel his hands on her, touching her, caressing her.
“Please,” she moaned.
Tom froze. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to stop. I want you to…to touch me.”
His body tensed and she realized he was trying to control his reaction to her. The knowledge made her throb and ache. Slowly he touched her breast, first just one finger, gently brushing over her nipple. When she trembled and curled her hands into his shirt, he took her whole breast in his hand.
She cried out at the unfamiliar sensations. Her head was spinning and her body ached and throbbed. She arched into him, desperate for more.
She heard his ragged breathing, felt his hand tremble. Then he slowly unbuttoned her blouse, and she felt the cool air on her overheated skin. In another second he’d unhooked the clasp on her bra, and she felt the skimpy material fall away from her body.
Her first reaction was to lift her hands to cover herself. Tom took her hands gently in his and pressed a kiss into each palm. Then he looked down at her. “Do you want me to stop?”
She opened her eyes and looked at him. Although passion blazed from his eyes, she knew that with one word from her, he would sit up and move away from her. The knowledge made her drop her hands to her sides. “No,” she said, watching him, “I don’t want you to stop.”
The expression in his eyes shifted and changed, and she saw tenderness where there had been only passion before. Then he bent and kissed her beneath her breast. Her skin jumped and twitched, and he smoothed his hand over her ribs.
“I want to taste you, Tina,” he murmured. Slowly he lifted his head, watching her as he took a nipple in his fingers. The pleasure was so intense that she gasped. “I want to taste every bit of you. But I want to start right here.”
He bent and took her nipple into his mouth, and every ounce of common sense she possessed dissolved in the pleasure that washed over her. Sensation after sensation crashed through her, each wave more intense than the last. She tried to pull him closer, needed to feel him against the throbbing between her legs. When he lifted his head, she heard herself moaning his name.
“Tina,” he gasped, and she saw the wild need that raged in his eyes, felt it in the trembling of his hands. Suddenly, she realized that his control was hanging by a thread.
She should have been frightened. Her rational self surfaced, told her to get up, push him away. But instead she tightened her arms around him.
She was drowning in pleasure, drugged with it. She hadn’t known about this. In all the years that she’d avoided getting involved with men, she’d never known she could feel like this.
Tom must have seen the surrender in her eyes. He groaned her name and kissed her again. But the desperation was banked this time. Instead, he kissed her with a gentleness and a tenderness that moved her. Then he sat up and lifted her up next to him. He pulled her blouse together and turned her to face him.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, cupping her face with his hands, and searched her eyes. “I got a little carried away. Once I kissed you, I didn’t want to stop.”
“I didn’t want you to stop, either,” she answered. She could give him honesty, at least.
“I know.” His mouth curled into an intimate smile and he bent to kiss her again. “Believe me, Tina, I know. Stopping just then might have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Then why did you stop?”
“Because I have no right to touch you, let alone make love to you. I know nothing about myself, and neither do you. Regardless of what you think, the Grand Springs police have good reason to think I’m involved in a crime.”
“I don’t think you’re a criminal,” she said quietly. “I know better than that. But I guess I’m glad you stopped. I’m not ready to make that decision.”
“I know you weren’t ready. This has happened too quickly. We were thrown together in intense circumstances. And regardless of who you think I am, there’s still a cloud hanging over me. Until it’s resolved, I have nothing to offer you.”
“I think you have plenty to offer, Tom. What just happened here is proof of that. Where you came from or who you are doesn’t matter as much as what’s inside of you. Only a man who is essentially good would have stopped tonight.”
“You’re making me sound like a saint, Tina. I’m damn sure I’m no saint. But I wouldn’t take advantage of you, either.”
The intense arousal that had gripped her was receding, and her common sense reasserted itself. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I guess it’s a good thing one of us was thinking.”
He looked down at her, and she could see the regret in his eyes. “Maybe you’d better go home before I change my mind,” he said roughly.
A spark flared to life inside her, but she stood up. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She gave a shaky laugh. “That’s the problem. Thinking had nothing to do with what happened here tonight. I never planned on getting involved with anyone.”
Curiosity sharpened in his eyes, and she thought he would ask her to explain. But instead, he stood up beside her and said, “Then I guess we both did the smart thing.”
She didn’t understand the regret, sharp and bitter, that she tasted in her mouth. She was making the right decision. “We did.”
After promising that she would check on him again soon, she left and got into her car. The night was crisp and clear, with a sliver of moon shimmering in the cold air. She tried not to think about Tom as she drove home, but she couldn’t stop herself. She was relieved, she thought, that he had stopped her from making a huge mistake.
But beneath the relief, the regret lingered. She couldn’t help thinking that she had reached a vital turning point in her life, and she had turned the wrong way.
She was still thinking about Tom and not paying attention to her routine much later that evening as she prepared for bed. Even after she turned out the lights, she lay restless, the faint moonlight streaming through her window. Instead of falling asleep right away, she stared up at the ceiling for a long time, reliving what had happened earlier and her reaction to it.
The first time she heard the noise, it didn’t register. Then she heard it again. It sounded like someone had stepped on the squeaky board on her front porch.
Was someone at her door? She sat up in bed and waited for the doorbell to ring. But the house stood silent and still. She strained to listen, but heard only the pounding of her heart in the blood rushing through her veins.
Then she heard another sound. This time it sound
ed like it came from the back of the house. Could she have a prowler?
Fear made her palms sweaty as she grabbed a robe and slipped out of bed. Had she remembered to lock her doors? Or had she been too distracted by what had happened with Tom that evening? She walked slowly down the cold stairs in her bare feet, stopping frequently to listen. She didn’t hear anything but the pounding of her own heart. She watched the windows, looking for a shadow and afraid that she might actually see one.
By the time she reached the main floor, sweat dripped down her back and her skin felt clammy with fear. She checked the lock on the door, then forced herself to go to the front window and lift the curtain. There was no one at the front of the house. The street was empty, and so was her yard. Bushes and dead flowers threw odd shadows on the grass, but she saw nothing that looked like an intruder.
She watched for a long time, letting her heart slow down. Finally she let the curtain fall and walked into the kitchen. She stood by the kitchen window and braced herself to lift that curtain.
There was no one in the backyard, either. All the houses around her stood dark and still. No dogs barked, and no car engines started abruptly.
She let the curtain fall back into place and stood in the cold kitchen for a moment. Then she flipped on the lights and turned on the stove. She’d make herself some tea before she went back up to bed.
“It must have been your imagination,” she told herself firmly out loud. “Or else the neighbor’s cat was on your porch again.”
By the time she finished her tea, she had convinced herself that she hadn’t heard a thing. But she checked all the doors and windows again before she went back up to bed. And she slept lightly, waking at the slightest sound.
Tom paced in the small apartment, checking his watch again for the fourth time that hour. Tina had phoned and told him she would stop by on her way home from work that night. It was getting late, and he was worried.
He’d spent most of the day in the apartment and was ready to climb the walls. He needed to talk to Dr. Wilson. If he couldn’t get a car and begin to drive around the city, he was afraid he would lose his mind. The small apartment was beginning to feel claustrophobic, and he chafed at the restrictions the doctor had placed on him.
For a while he’d even considered getting a car, regardless of what the doctor said. But he knew Tina would worry, so he told himself to be patient.
And speaking of Tina, where the hell was she? He ran his hands through his hair and looked out the window one more time. He told himself that he was just worried because she was late, but it was more than that.
He missed her.
He hadn’t seen her for the past twenty-four hours, and every minute of that time had felt like a year.
The intensity of his feelings shook him, but he told himself it was perfectly natural. He was in a strange town, he had no idea who he was, and Tina was his link to reality. Of course he missed her.
But there was far more to it than that, a small voice said. He missed Tina because of who she was, not because of what she represented. He missed her smile, her teasing, her warmth. He missed having her around.
A car pulled into the parking spot in front of his room and stopped, and he rushed to the door. She was only halfway to the door when he opened it.
“Hi!” She grinned at him, and he felt the tension evaporating.
“Hi, yourself. I was getting worried.”
She laughed at him as she stepped inside and closed the door. “That’s because you don’t have anything better to do.”
It was far more than that. He would worry about Tina whenever she wasn’t around, he realized with a flash of insight.
But he wouldn’t tell her that. “Do you have another mystery patient you’re taking care of?” he teased.
“One of those is quite enough.” She stood and looked at him, and her smile faded. “You really do look worried. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, now that you’re here.” Oops, he didn’t want to scare her off. “I mean, I was picturing the worst possible scenarios. Car accidents figured prominently in my thoughts.”
She smiled again. “Nurses can’t always leave the minute their shift is up. I’m sorry. I would have called if I had known you were going to worry.”
“I’ll know better next time.” But he would still worry.
She sat down on the couch, and he was careful to sit far enough away from her that he couldn’t easily reach out for her. He was still shaken by what had happened the night before. He hadn’t imagined that he could react that strongly to a woman. The intensity of his feelings had unnerved him. And to be fair to Tina, he had vowed that it wouldn’t happen again.
But seeing her now, sitting in the pool of light from the lamp, was making it hard to remember his vow.
Chapter 8
Her dark red hair gleamed in the light and her eyes were weary. He wanted to gather her close and wrap his arms around her. He wanted to soothe away her worries.
But he would settle for conversation. It was all he would allow himself. “You look tired. Was it a tough day at work?”
She shook her head. “Not particularly. At least no more so than usual. But I was up for a long time last night.”
His heart leaped, but he struggled to control himself. “How come?”
She flashed him a shy smile, then looked away. “I think you know part of the reason. But that wasn’t all.” Her smile faded, and she looked at him again. “I thought I heard a prowler around my house last night.”
“What?” He leaned toward her, fear clutching at him. He couldn’t identify its source, but a sudden, suffocating cloud of anxiety surrounded him. “What do you mean?”
“I had been in bed for a little while, but I wasn’t asleep yet. I thought I heard someone on my front porch. One of the boards squeaks,” she explained. “Then I thought I heard someone at the back door.”
“What did the police say?”
She looked away from him. “I didn’t call the police.”
He slid closer and grabbed her wrist. “How come?”
“Because I thought I was hearing things. I went downstairs and looked around. I didn’t see or hear a thing.”
“What if there had been someone standing in your kitchen when you went down those stairs?” he asked, his voice rough. He was sick with fear. “What would you have done then?”
“Grand Springs is usually a very safe town,” she answered, trying to draw her hand away from him. “The Steeles’ murder was unusual. Things like that don’t happen here.”
“Things like that can happen anywhere.” He didn’t let her hand go. Instead, he twined their fingers together and brought her hand to his mouth without thinking.
“There was no one near my house, Tom,” she said gently. “I looked.”
“You should have called the police.”
She watched him for a moment, then moved closer to him. “You’re awfully upset about such a small thing.”
He let her hand go and stood up to pace around the room. “It doesn’t feel like a small thing to me,” he said. “Something about it really bothers me.”
She cocked her head and watched him. “Does it have something to do with your memory?” she asked slowly. “Something to do with why you’re here?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” He pressed his hands against his head, hoping to force the memories to come. There was nothing but a deep, dark void. “I can’t remember. But I don’t like it.”
“I made sure all the doors and windows were locked,” she said, watching him. “And I listened and watched for a long time.”
“Do you have a security system?” he demanded.
“No, of course not. I’ve never needed one before.”
“I want you to get one.” He was stunned at the intensity of his response, shocked and uneasy. He had no idea why the thought of a prowler at Tina’s bothered him so much.
“I think you’re overreacting, Tom,” she said gently. “But if it happens again
, I promise you that I’ll consider a security system.”
He sat back down beside her on the couch. “Why do I think you’re only trying to appease me?”
“Because you’re blowing this all out of proportion. Maybe there was someone on my front porch. But chances are it was a neighbor, hoping to find me awake, and who, when he or she didn’t see any lights, left without knocking.”
“No neighbor would look for you at that hour of the night,” he said.
“My neighbors all know that I’m usually awake late.”
She reached out and took his hand. Tom was surprised. He had noticed how careful she was not to touch him. “I appreciate the fact that you’re concerned. But I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about. Okay?”
He nodded slowly, trying to suppress the fear that wanted to engulf him. There was some reason he was so alarmed. He just had to figure out what it was. “All right.”
“I don’t have to work tomorrow,” she said, and he knew she was deliberately changing the subject. “Would you like the grand tour of Grand Springs? We can drive through town and maybe even get out and walk around. I’d be happy to take you to the hotel where the ball was held and the site of your car accident. Maybe seeing something familiar will shake some memories loose.”
“I’m not sure about that. I’ve spent three days here in this hotel room and I haven’t remembered a damn thing.”
“It’s worth a try,” she said. “How about if I pick you up around eleven tomorrow morning?”
“That would be great,” he said. He knew he had been negative. Then he added, “I’m sorry, but I’m worried about you going home alone.”
“I’ll be fine.” She stood up. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He wanted to scoop her into his arms and hold on tight, but he stepped away and shoved his hands into his pockets. He had told her last night that he didn’t have a right to touch her, and nothing had changed. But it didn’t help to see the disappointment flicker in her eyes when he moved away.
A Thanksgiving To Remember Page 9
