“They said they didn’t know about a journal. I asked. But I don’t know that they were telling the absolute truth.”
Hannah looked down, shaking her head. She should have known her own daughter better. “She was on Rumspringa. I gave her every freedom. I did not ask questions or give her cautions. I should have.”
“Hannah, I know you want to blame yourself, but until you know what you’re dealing with, I think that’s premature and, frankly, it’s a waste of the little time we have to get this straight.” His eyes stayed focused on the road. “I think we should make a search for this journal. If she had one, it must be around somewhere. But hidden in a place where you and Thomas and Nana Ruth would never look.”
“How about in the barn since I found her there? Maybe the person who hit me the morning I found Jessica was already looking for this journal when I arrived for milking.”
“There was someone in the barn when you found the body? I don’t remember reading that in the police report. Well, if you could call that a report. Did you know that Jessica’s friends haven’t even been questioned about Jessica before?”
“No. They wouldn’t have been. McClendon knew we didn’t want an investigation.”
“Then what? He changed his mind and had the governor send me here?”
“I do not know about that.” Hannah stopped a moment, realizing why maybe the horse sale to the governor might have seemed relevant. But what could Thomas possibly have to do with this? “And McClendon didn’t even know about the person in the barn. So it would not have been in the police report. I didn’t tell anyone but Thomas. And he—”
“Told you not to tell anyone?”
“Jah.” Hannah dropped her head. “Like I said. We did not know the danger.”
“Someone attacked you in the barn and you didn’t think there was a danger?”
“I’m sorry, Elijah. I don’t understand any of this, either. That much I can promise you.”
“I know.”
“What about the journal?”
“I don’t know if the journal would actually be in the barn. Whoever is after it most likely already looked there, and we know they haven’t found it.”
Hannah looked down. “Can I ask you something which I do not understand?”
“Sure.”
“Why do you think they brought her to us and left her in the barn? Thomas said that she could not have died in the barn because there was not enough blood. God forbid, if someone did kill her and they did it somewhere else, why bring her home?”
“A good question. And unfortunately there could be a million answers to that. For example, to look for this so-called journal. To scare you. Because the Amish don’t pursue killers and that would give the event a low profile. Can you imagine the press if she’d been found outside the community?”
“I cannot.” She knew very little of the world outside Willow Trace. How different she was from Elijah. How naive and simple he must find her.
“Whatever the reason, it is a threat that says, ‘We can get to you.’ As they keep proving over and over.”
A threat. Hannah swallowed hard. “I—I hadn’t thought about that,” she said.
“And a black car? Like the one Nicholas saw? You saw one, didn’t you?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. I should have told you as soon as you arrived. It’s just that I’d promised Thomas.”
She went on to tell Elijah about Jessica’s strange behavior before her death. He listened in a detached, businesslike manner, which felt cold to her after his tenderness to her the evening before. That should not make her sad, she told herself. But then again, since he’d arrived her thoughts were not always where they should be.
“Tell me more about Daniel Hostetler. Why did Jessica break it off with him?”
Hannah shook her head. “I do not have an answer to that. She told me that she didn’t want to spend her whole Rumspringa in the same courtship—that she needed to branch out. That always seemed less than the complete truth to me. But like I said, I didn’t push her.”
“Was it like Jessica to want to take a break? To want to have a lot of freedom?”
“No. It wasn’t. She was very much like me in that way. Very loyal. No matter what people are saying about her now.”
“You consider yourself loyal?” Elijah huffed.
“I don’t want to quarrel about the past.” And I don’t want to cry in front of you again. But she felt the tears coming. His comment, though, almost made her angry. He could think what he wanted. He didn’t know she thought not only for herself but for him, too. He didn’t know she couldn’t have children. That she could never give him the family he’d said he wanted. And he had wanted a family. He had told her that many times when they talked of their future together.
“I don’t, either, Hannah. It’s okay. You did hurt me, but that was a long time ago. I was torn between the two worlds and you made the decision easy. If you and I had married, well…it doesn’t matter.”
“It was not an easy decision.” She blinked back the tears. “But you know how I made it?”
“I don’t. I don’t think we’ve talked much since,” he teased.
“Jah, that is true.”
“So, tell me…why Peter?”
“He needed me more than you did.”
“Because of Jessica?”
She nodded. “I couldn’t imagine leaving her. I didn’t want to leave her. And Peter, God rest his soul, was a good man and a good father and a good husband.”
Elijah turned to her. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You made a good choice, Hannah. I never questioned that. I just missed you.”
“I am sorry—” Hannah shook her head.
“It was the right choice, Hannah. We don’t need to talk of it again,” he said. “I’ll be gone soon and all will be as it was. You’ll marry Thomas soon. He loves you. And I’ll go back to doing the work that God called me to do.”
You are wrong. You have come back into my life now. Nothing will be as it was. She kept her thoughts inside and turned her head so that he might not read them from her expression. “And you? Any hope for a family? I was most surprised yesterday when you said that you did not have any children.”
Eli laughed. “I did used to talk of that, didn’t I? No. Never happened. I probably work too hard and what woman could put up with me for a lifetime? And children are such a handful—I’d probably make a mess of being a parent.”
She smiled. “Jessica was wonderful. But I suppose there was much I did not know about her. I saw you talking to her friends. I wanted so badly to ask them questions myself. But I know that would only create more talk.”
“Did you know Jessica had a friend named Brittney in the city?”
Hannah turned to him wide-eyed. “No. In the city? I didn’t even know she had been to the city.”
She tried not to feel hurt by discovering that Jessica had kept secrets from her. It was normal for a girl at that age to break away from her parents. But it all seemed so shocking and unexpected. At least, it took her mind from thoughts of Elijah. Well, sort of.
“Would it make you feel better to travel with me into Philadelphia tomorrow? My partner, Mitchell Tucci, is finding out where this young lady lives—this friend of Jessica’s. I’m going to find her and see what she knows. I think you should come with me.”
“Me? In the city?” Hannah almost laughed.
“Yes. You in the city.”
“I don’t know. I doubt Thomas will agree.”
“Well, then I’ll just have to insist— Whoooooah, girl!” Elijah grasped at the reins as Abigail’s mare spooked and pulled the vehicle so hard to the left that Hannah slammed up against his side. Her stomach leapt into her throat.
“We need to turn here.” She pointed to the gravel
path to the Nolts’ cottage. “If you can manage it.”
“The mare does seem mighty reluctant, doesn’t she?” Elijah held fast to the reins and steadied the horse. She slowed her steps and proceeded but with much hesitation. Elijah tapped her rear with his crop and urged her on again with a strong voice. “You know my car never fights me like this.”
“Maybe you’re just out of practice.” Hannah reached over. “Hand me the reins I’ll take it from here.”
“Are you kidding me? I used to race these buggies.” He kept the reins from her. “I haven’t forgotten a thing.”
“I remember.” She eyed him. “I remember you used to lose races.”
They both laughed. He looked down on her with a kind smile. The first one he’d shown her since the ride home started. A spark of heat flushed through her core.
Three days, she reminded herself. In three days Elijah Miller would be back in the city where he belonged. He wasn’t one of them. She knew that fact as well as he did. They had made their choices years ago and could never be together now. No matter what her heart seemed to be thinking.
* * *
Hannah’s laughter sounded sweet to his ears. He would gladly have listened to it all evening. Every evening. Any evening, for that matter.
Time with family, good hard work, fine people with no agenda other than to help one another, Hannah’s smile and laughter—those were things that would have been a part of his life every day if she’d agreed to marry him, if he hadn’t left the Ordnung. Boy! Today had been a big fat dose of all the things he missed. Part of him wanted to share all that was in his heart with Hannah and tell her how the experience had moved him—how she moved him. How he loved the chance just to sit next to her in the buggy. Alone. Listening to her laugh and catching flashes of her beautiful smile.
But the other part of him was wary and bitter. And angry at his own heart for being so tender toward her. He couldn’t take any more tears and confessions. She had crushed his feelings, refused him, yet made it impossible for him to love another woman. And now with one explanation, with one breath he was forgiving her everything? Inviting her to the city with him? Sitting beside her and thinking of nothing but how sweet her laughter was? Maybe three days was too long for his weakening heart. Maybe he was in more danger than Hannah—in danger of falling in love and getting hurt again.
Just get her back to the cottage, Miller, he told himself. If only this silly mare of Abigail’s could keep a steady pace, he would. But as it was, he could barely keep her moving straight ahead. Hannah seemed amused by the animal’s behavior, but more and more Elijah was beginning to suspect there was something to the horse’s skittishness.
“I should have insisted we take my car,” he muttered under his breath, grabbing the blanket from the back of the buggy—the blanket that concealed his Glock 19. He thought of the man on the hill who’d disappeared. A lookout to see when they were coming? To be sure they hadn’t been at home? There was something to it. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
“Maybe the mare is not used to being driven at night?” Hannah suggested.
“No. Something’s not right.” His body tensed. “She sees or smells something we don’t.”
“Like an animal?”
“Yes.” A two-legged one, he wanted to say, but didn’t want to scare her in case he was merely being paranoid. If they could just get past this front part of the farm where the woods were thick and enclosed them, he’d feel much better. But there was another five hundred yards or so to go and—
Eli caught a flash of movement in his peripheral, something shiny in the forest reflecting the buggy’s headlights. He stiffened. He wasn’t being paranoid. Someone was there. Animals didn’t run around in the woods with shiny metal.
“Sit back, Hannah.” He cracked his whip over the mare again, asking her to move forward. The faster they got through that canopy of trees, the better. The mare bolted forward as if she sensed danger, too.
Even Hannah seemed on alert. She grabbed on to his arm. “You’re right! There’s a car coming at us!”
Eli spotted the car but it was too late. Its lights flashed bright as it tore out of the woods and turned directly toward their buggy. Elijah could see nothing but white. His ears heard nothing but Hannah’s scream.
The mare whinnied, jerked forward, then kicked back. The front of the buggy lifted from the ground, then titled to the right as the horse balked again and pulled them toward the grassy ditch. The car continued straight for them. Elijah reached for Hannah. It looked like they would have to jump. He pulled her against him, but hesitated as the car swerved hard to the left at the last second, just missing the horse.
The car did not, however, miss hitting the buggy. Its back fender caught the front left wheel and the wooden spokes crunched and split like twigs.
“Take the reins,” he shouted to Hannah.
Elijah aimed his Glock at the back of the vehicle. Time to find out who that was and put an end to all of these unwanted visits to Lancaster. How dare anyone come into this safe haven and cause such havoc and fear to the people he loved? Anger pulsed hot through his veins as he shot at the car’s back tire. The driver shot back, hitting the taillight on the buggy. It shattered to bits, exploding like the anger inside him. He fired again. This time he succeeded in blowing out the back left wheel, which caused the car to spin. The driver could no longer shoot but was forced to focus on steering. Elijah knew if could also hit the front tire he could possibly stall the car and driver long enough to approach them. Elijah raised his gun to the front end of the car, but the swaying buggy wouldn’t give him a clean shot.
Hannah had not been able to take control of the reins. Unguided, the mare recoiled at the gunfire and tugged the collapsing buggy farther into the ditch. Elijah swept his hand down to grab the loose reins, but there was nothing to be done—the buggy was toppling over.
“Jump!” He took hold of Hannah’s arm and pulled her from the moving vehicle.
TEN
Elijah took hold of Hannah’s arm with a strong grip and lifted her from the floor of the buggy. As the vehicle began to roll on its side, he pushed her through the driver’s-side door, then followed with a great leap of his own. They hit the gravel path as the buggy tumbled and slid into the deep ditch.
“You okay?”
Hannah didn’t answer. Ignoring the gravel that seemed to have embedded itself in her palms and face as it had his own, she hopped up and raced toward the front of the buggy.
“What are you doing?” he called after her. “You’re going to get hurt.” She was much too close to the anxious mare, which seemed to be pinned under the hitch. “Let her calm down.”
“She can’t calm down. She has to be set free. Otherwise she’ll hurt or kill herself, if she hasn’t already.” Hannah moved on, ignoring him as she reached for something behind the crazed beast. Elijah cringed but moved in behind her, ready to yank her from harm’s way if need be.
“Hannah, come on away from there. Let her be.”
But determined to help the stressed horse, she continued to bend over the joint, working her arm at the hitch and harness.
Stubborn woman.
Finally a click sounded and Abigail’s mare took off down the road at a full gallop, still in her harness with the reins flapping behind her. Within seconds she was out of sight.
“She could still hurt herself.” Hannah turned as he sidled up next to her. “But chances are she’ll find her way home or to another barn and we’ll get her back.”
Elijah didn’t care about the mare. He didn’t care about the trashed buggy or Thomas or Abigail or his Dat. He didn’t care about anything that had been on his mind of late. He put his hands on her arms and pulled her closer. “We could have been crushed. That was no grazing bullet. That was meant to end us. What do these people want, Hannah? Tell me now s
o that I can help you.” I don’t want to lose you again.
“I don’t know. I don’t know.” She trembled against him. “I told you everything.”
He pressed her closer—close enough to feel her breath on his shoulder. Close enough to take in her scent and feel her warmth. Together they stood in each other’s arms, trembling.
Hannah tried to wiggle from his tight embrace, but he knew she needed to feel him as much as he needed her. She was as frightened as that mare. As he stroked her shoulder, she relaxed and leaned against him, her wet, warm tears soaking the collar of his shirt.
“I’ve lost everything,” she whispered. “Everything.”
Her words and the feel of her against him slowed his racing adrenaline. “I felt like that a bit today, Hannah. Looking around at all I gave up when I left here. You have lost a lot. But you haven’t lost everything. You still have your love and compassion and your drive to help others. You have a lot, Hannah Kurtz.”
She laughed as he used her maiden name. “No one has called me that in a long, long time.”
“Yeah, well, you’ll always be Hannah Kurtz to me. No matter who you marry.”
He tightened his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head. How he had loved this woman—and how he loved her still. It made him ache to see her suffering so deeply. Anger and fear coursed through him, too. This was his home, his people and his heritage. This was Hannah, his Hannah. He would keep her safe—even though he’d never see her again after these three days.
“Lord, give Hannah the strength to endure this hard time in her life. Keep her safe and protect her from these people who wish her harm. Lead us to this journal so we can move forward and restore the joy in living for You.”
Hannah nodded her head against his chest, as he prayed, her tears still streaming. “Thank you, Elijah Miller. Thank you for being here with me at this time. I know that the Lord has brought you to me.”
Plain Secrets Page 9
