"I woke up in a panic." He adjusts his hips so he can claim me with long, leisurely, painfully delicious strokes.
I smile at the tender confession. We've never talked about that first night. The night he drifted into a peaceful sleep when I took forever to calm my nerves in the bathroom.
"I couldn’t work the next day." He reaches to grab both my hands, pinning them to the sheets. "All I could think about was how badly I fucked up. How you'd gotten away from me forever."
I try to push back against him, but his grasp is too tight. "I want to touch you," I whimper.
He only shakes his head slightly in response. "When I saw you the next night, I almost came right there. I couldn’t believe it was you. I wanted to pick you up and throw you over my shoulder on the spot."
"You practically did." I moan when he shifts his hips and pushes deeper still.
"I was going to have you. I wanted you more than I've ever wanted a woman." His lips brush against mine in slow, easy strokes. The tempo matches his cock. He's taking me so slowly tonight. I almost can't bear the measured drip of pleasure.
"Faster, please," I beg, my hips pushing into him.
"I want this to last." He digs his feet into the bed, pushing for more leverage. "I can't fuck you when I'm in Boston. I need this to hold me over."
I close my eyes and drop my head to the side. It's almost unbearable. The way his cock fills me completely. The scent of his skin mixed with my own. The pleasure in knowing that he's taking as much from this as he's giving to me.
"Nathan," I moan under his heated touch. "Just fuck me."
"He rallies on his heels and lets out a deep guttural groan as he offers me my reward for the sweet torturous tease he's inflicted on me. In one deft movement, my hips are off the bed, he's pulling me into him and crashing my body against his.
I scream at the depth of his cock. The pain mixed with unbearable pleasure pushes me over the edge almost instantly. I can't see beyond the feelings. I close my eyes as I course through an intense orgasm.
"Jessica," he calls into my skin as he pulls me into his lap. "Christ." I feel his cock constrict inside me and his body convulses as he clings desperately to me.
Chapter 20
"Are you expecting a call, Jess?" Bryce's voice snaps me out of the daze I've been floating in since Nathan left for Boston this morning.
"No." I smile up at him. "I was just checking my messages."
"Trudy's ready to take off if you're up to it." He points to his girlfriend who is sitting in the living room, thumbing her way through one of Rebecca's fashion magazines.
"Sure. Where do you want to eat?" I can't stifle a yawn as I pull myself up from the chair next to the table.
"Maybe you should be napping instead of hanging out with us?" It's a question that is ripe with suggestion.
"Am I being a third wheel?" I lean in close not wanting Trudy to hear me. "I can stay here while you two go do your own thing."
"Just for dinner?" His face brightens at the idea. "I just haven't seen her in weeks and it would be good to catch up."
"Go." I try to veil a heavy sigh of relief. "Take her and have fun."
"Maybe we can catch a movie tonight?" I feel as though he's throwing me a bone since he knows that Nathan has skipped town for the weekend.
"I'm going to nap. We'll figure it out later or not." I tilt my head to the side. I'd actually give anything to just have a quiet night tucked into my bed with no distractions. I've been working so much lately that it was all catching up to me. I needed a decent night's sleep and I wasn't finding that in Nathan's arms. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
I watch them head out the door before I turn to check my phone again. Still nothing from Nathan. That's two text messages that he's probably not going to see until he's back in New York on Monday morning. I have to give up the notion that he's going to respond to me when he's with his family. He's already made it clear that they're his priority when he's there.
I turn to head down the hallway towards my bedroom when I hear a key in the apartment lock. I don’t want to entertain anyone. Maybe if I can get behind my closed door and into my bed before they notice me, I'll be home free.
"Jess." Rebecca's voice calls to me just as I have my bedroom doorknob in my grasp. "What's going on?"
"Naptime." I smile through gritted teeth. We haven't spoken much more than a few words to each other in more than week. With our conflicting work schedules and my routine of staying at Nathan's every night now, we just didn't connect anymore.
"Make it a siesta. We're going clubbing tonight." It's a statement, not a question and I'm not amused.
"We're not." I stress the words across my lips. "I'm so drained. I'm going to stay in and sleep."
"Bryce and that boring girlfriend of his are going with me. You should too."
"I don’t feel up to it." It's only a half lie. I know Nathan wouldn’t want me hanging out in a club when he's away. He's told me as much more than once.
"Just call Fingers and tell him. You can skip the guilty conscience that way."
"He..." my voice trails as I realize I can't confess that he doesn't respond to me when he's away. She won't get it.
"I'll come for a couple of hours," I acquiesce. If I just go, I won't feel as badly the next time I blow a dinner invitation with her off for a night with Nathan.
"Go to bed." She pushes me through the doorway into my room. "I'll wake you when it's time to get ready."
***
I know you won't see this but I'm going clubbing with my roommates. Don’t freak out.
I press send and toss my phone into my purse as the taxi pulls away from the curb in front of our apartment.
"Did you send a message to the old man telling him you were out having a life?" Rebecca's comment pulls a giggle out of both Trudy and Bryce.
"I did." I can't shelter a smile as I realize that I've missed hanging out with her. She knows what I need and one night with friends is exactly what I want right now.
"Coincidentally, we're going to start at the club where you met Fingers."
"Fingers?" A wide smile covers Trudy's face. It's the most emotion I've seen her express since she arrived.
"It's a name we call her boyfriend." Rebecca rolls her eyes as she motions in my direction. "Don’t ask."
"Why are we going there?" I whine into her shoulder. "I hate that place."
"You hate that place because his fuck pad is there." She doesn't try and temper her tone at all.
"He gave that up."
"Don’t be so sure, Jess." She cocks a brow. "Remember how I told you men like that never change."
"He's different," I say glumly. Why did I agree to go with them back to that club? I don't want to think about how many women Nathan fucked in that room when he's been so open with me lately. He may not have told me in so many words, but I could feel his resistance slipping away. I know within me that he's falling for me as fast and hard as I'm falling for him.
"You're second guessing him, aren't you?" I'm thankful that she whispers the question into my ear. I don't need Bryce and Trudy witnessing all the self-doubt I'm suddenly feeling wash over me.
"No." I wasn't. I didn't doubt him at all. He told me he gave up the fuck pad and he'd done nothing since that moment to make me doubt that.
Chapter 21
"He's in Boston, Jess." I can smell the tequila on Rebecca's breath even though she's three feet away from me.
"I know he is." I shoot back. I want to leave. I hate being in this place. Every time I pull my gaze up I see a beautiful women and I instantly wonder whether Nathan's fucked her at some point.
"You keep looking for him." She takes another shot. "I see you looking around the room for him."
"That's not it," I argue. "It's these women."
"What women?" She almost screams the question over the noise of the crowd.
"He's fucked some of these women, don't you think?" I lean forward to temper my tone. I don't want to
announce to the entire club that I'm the woman Nathan takes to his home. I don’t want to know anything about any woman he's ever touched.
"Most of them." She shrugs her shoulder as she nods her head.
"I can't be here." I hop from the barstool to my feet. "I want to go home."
"No." She pushes me back down. "We're staying."
"Rebecca." I raise my voice slightly to get my point across. "You can stay. I need to go."
"You're just scared." The words tumble out her too quickly. "You're scared he's still fucking women upstairs, aren't you?"
I was. She's right. Ever since we stepped foot back in the club I've thought about that. I've wondered whether the room is rented to someone else right now or if he's still holding onto it.
"Let's go see." She pulls on my arm, steering me towards the entrance to hotel Aeon.
"What are you talking about?" I down the shot the bartender placed in front of Rebecca just to calm my nerves. I recoil at the heat of the tequila as it courses down my throat.
"We go upstairs, we knock on the door and we see who answers." She pulls on my hand yet again and I don't stop her this time. I race behind her until we're in the lobby.
"It's a stupid plan." I spit out in a muted tone. "It's not going to work."
"You don’t want it to work." Her words are slurred. "You don't want to know that he still has a place because then you have to kiss him and his big cock goodbye."
"He doesn't have a room." I know I sound too insistent. I'm not just trying to convince her. I'm trying to steel my own doubts about him.
"We're doing this, Jess." She points towards the bank of elevators. "You remember which room it was, right?"
I nod my head in silence. I can't move. I can't go up there knowing that there's a very slim chance that no one will answer the door and I'll be cursed with the knowledge that he may be lying to me about holding onto the room.
"Let's do it already." She jerks my hand so hard that I almost fall forward. She's not going to give this up. She won't.
We ride the elevator up to the eighteenth floor in silence. I fish in my purse, pulling my smartphone into my palm. I scroll through my new messages and there's nothing from Nathan at all. Absolutely nothing for over a day now.
I pull Rebecca down the dimly lit hallway to the doorway I remember. She knocks softly and we both perch our ears to the door. Nothing.
She knocks again and we both wait for what feels like endless moments.
"No one's here." She cocks a brow and leans against the door jam. Now what?
Now I breathe a sigh of relief. He's not in the room. My heart told me he wasn't. I knew he was telling me the truth.
I scroll my thumb over my phone's screen and type a message to Nathan.
I miss you so much. I can't wait to see you when you get back.
I press send and I turn to walk towards the bank of elevators hoping Rebecca will give up her useless mission to trap Nathan in a lie.
The unmistakable sound of a not-too-distant cell phone chime breaks the silence in the hallway.
I stare at my phone.
Call me as soon as you're back from Boston.
My hand shakes as I type out the message before my thumb hits send.
The same chime rings through the air.
"His phone is in that room," I murmur, my voice shaking as intensely as my hands.
Chapter 22
"Do you see what I mean?" Rebecca giggles as the elderly security guard presses his ear to the door, listening to Nathan's phone ringing. "My friend left her cell phone in there when she was visiting Mr. Moore."
I throw her a small smile, grateful that she pulled out the composure to lie for me.
"We just need a minute to get it back. That and her bra." She practically yells the last word at him and it definitely has the desired effect.
"I...uh..." His face flushes a deep shade of crimson at the mere suggestion that I left lingerie in a room. "I'm not supposed to let people in."
"I know." Rebecca pats him on the back. "The thing is, her and Mr. Moore had a fight and she can't talk to him right now. She's really emotional because it's that time of the month."
I grimace at the words. He does too and I can tell that she's pushing every single one of the buttons that make him incredibly uncomfortable.
"Let me see if he's here." He pulls a radio out of his belt and punches in Nathan's room number. We all listen intently at the sound of the room's phone ringing beyond the barrier of the wooden door.
"He's out." Rebecca leans close to him. "Probably chasing another skirt."
I roll my eyes in her direction but she's solely focused on her mission to get this poor man to open the door and break every rule he's ever been taught.
"You've got two minutes," he whispers as he pulls a master key card from his pocket and swipes it. The green light shines as he pulls the doorknob down, pushing the door open just enough so I can sneak in.
Rebecca nods to me as she starts chattering to him about how brave he is and what a selfless job he's doing protecting all the patrons of the hotel.
I slip into the darkened room and fumble with the light switch. As the small lamps on the table flicker on, I'm overcome with a rush of emotions. It's exactly the same as I remember it. This is the room. The same room that Nathan fucked me in and promised he gave up for me.
My eyes dart to the counter near the bank of windows. Everything is in its place. It's obvious the cleaning staff have gone through the room recently. The glasses are all spotless and lined neatly in a row. The trash is cleared.
I move quickly to the bedroom, realizing that I won't have much time if Rebecca runs out of steam. I push the call button for Nathan's number on my phone again and hear his ringing near me. I flip the light switch and instantly see the lighted screen of a phone dancing in the dim light. It's sitting on the top of bed.
I reach for it and see my number flashing back at me. I pull my thumb over it and my breath hitches. I lean back against the bed, my knees giving out.
I close my eyes and pull in a deep breath.
I scroll silently through the messages.
There's the five I've sent since this morning and so many more...
I miss you sweetie. When are you going to fuck me again?
I can't wait to have your cock back in my mouth. Call me.
Thanks for yesterday. I'm still thinking about your tongue.
It's been awhile, Nathan. What does a girl have to do to get laid by you?
They're endless.
Each more intimate than the last.
All from different numbers.
My thumb hovers over the contact list.
Hundreds of names.
All women.
I scroll to the J.
Click on it once.
Scan the names until I find Jessica.
Jessica A.
Jessica C.
And me... Jessica R.
Thank You
Thank you for purchasing and downloading my book. I can’t even begin to put to words what it means to me. If you enjoyed it, please remember to write a review for it on Amazon. Let me know your thoughts! I want to keep my readers happy.
PULSE – Part Three, is in the works but in the meantime, keep those eyes peeled for more from Jax and Ivy from the Obsessed Series, in Still Obsessed. Stay tuned to my website for more information www.deborahbladon.com.
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About the Author
Deborah Bladon has never read a romance hero she didn't like. Her love for romance novels began when she was old enough to board the bus, library card in hand to check out the newest Harlequin paperbacks. She's a Canadian by heart, and by passport, but you can often spot her in New York City sipping a latte and looking for inspiration for her next story. Manhattan is definitely her second home.
She cherishes her family and believes that each day is a gift for writing, for reading, and for loving.
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