by A J Jarrett
After the initial shock wore off, Holden pushed his tongue out to play with Ethan’s. Hands roamed freely and Holden let his hands skirt their way under Ethan’s shirt. Warm skin sent a sizzle over his fingertips and Holden moved his hands upward to play across the light dusting of hair on Ethan’s chest.
Ethan yanked Holden closer, grinding his cock into Holden’s. The heat pulsating through the material was electric and Holden didn’t think he could get close enough. His hands fell to grip Ethan’s ass, trying to control the hard movements of the other man’s hips. If he didn’t gather his wits about him and quick, he’d come in his pants and this would be over before it truly began.
“Fuck,” Holden growled. “I want to taste you.” He fell to his knees and made quick work of Ethan’s button and zipper.
Once he had the material peeled back, Holden reached in and wrapped his fingers around the soft steely rod and pulled it out. A single drop of pre-cum beaded up at the tip and Holden looked up into Ethan’s dark eyes as he licked it away.
“Oh yeah.” Ethan spread his legs apart as best as he could with them around his knees. “Suck it, Holden. I need it.”
Holden licked and sucked his way from the tip back to the base. The strong manly scent fueled his hunger even further. Holden sucked in one then the other ball hanging loosely between Ethan’s thighs. He hummed as he licked and massaged the small orbs. Letting them slip from his mouth, Holden made a wet trail back up to Ethan’s tip, then held his gaze as he swallowed him all the way down his throat. Ethan’s head fell back on his shoulders as Holden tried to suck his very soul from his body.
“You taste so fucking good.” Holden licked his tongue around the crown, letting his tongue play in the slit at the very tip. “I’ll never get enough of you.” The steady beat of Ethan’s pulse vibrated over his tongue as Holden teased him toward his orgasm. The thick vein that ran on the underside jerked as Ethan got closer to release.
Holden dropped one hand to undo his jeans and freed his cock. The strong taste of Ethan in his mouth and the sounds the man made had Holden nearing the end of his own control. He stroked his cock in hard jerks as he bobbed up and down on Ethan’s straining cock.
“God damn it, Holden.” Ethan’s fingers tangled in Holden’s hair, pulling so hard Holden’s eyes watered. “I can’t hold on any longer.”
Holden hollowed out his cheeks and sucked harder, not giving Ethan a choice but to come.
“Yes!” Ethan shouted as the first jet of cum pumped into the back of Holden’s mouth.
The sweet, salty taste sent him in a tailspin and his orgasm exploded out his tip to paint the pavement below. Holden swallowed each ounce of cream until there was nothing left. Ethan relaxed back against the truck, panting and twitching as Holden licked him clean.
With one final kiss to Ethan’s hip, Holden stood up. He tucked his cock back into his jeans and started to help arrange Ethan’s clothes. The man had a lazy smile on his face and his eyes were shut. Holden couldn’t resist. He leaned forward and kissed Ethan’s grinning lips.
Just as the kiss started to get heated, Ethan’s hands pushed at Holden’s shoulders. He took a step back, surprised.
“Oh shit.” A look of sadness flashed over Ethan’s face. “I gotta get out of here,” Ethan said as he popped the lock on door to his truck.
“Ethan!” Holden took another step back as the car door swung open. He grabbed the door before Ethan could slam it shut in his face. “What’s the matter?” Had he read the signs wrong? Was Ethan not into this as much as Holden had thought? “Is it something I did?”
“No, you were perfect.” Ethan’s eyes had started to water. “I’m sorry, Holden, but I have to go.”
Holden let go of the door and watched as Ethan pulled out of the parking spot and headed down the road. He stood there unsure of what exactly just happened. Holden could smell Ethan’s arousal and his attraction toward him. There had been no denying Ethan was into what they were doing. But now Holden didn’t understand what happened to change all that. The tears in Ethan’s eyes worried Holden. Did he cause that reaction from Ethan?
After a few moments of standing there like a fool, Holden walked over to his jeep. He got inside and made the journey home.
The drive from Silver Creek to Nehalem was only about twenty minutes, and Holden took that time to unwind. Sure, his heart ached from the way Ethan had run off, but he couldn’t have forced the man to stay and talk about what had upset him. That would have just made things worse.
Holden took a deep breath and could still smell Ethan’s scent where it clung to his clothes. God how he wanted to turn around and chase Ethan down. Being a wolf shifter had its benefits and being able to track down a scent was one of them. Ethan wouldn’t be able to get far before Holden found him, and he would find him again.
The strong attraction that pulled Holden to Ethan was more than just about sex and needing to get off. No, they had a connection between them that Holden couldn’t ignore and one he wouldn’t let Ethan run from.
“He’s my mate,” Holden whispered to himself as he pulled up the long winding driveway that led to the little house he’d built.
He didn’t know much about Ethan but he damn sure planned to find out.
Chapter Five
The sun came shining through the window way too early. Ethan pulled the pillow out from behind his head to cover his face, but it was no use. No matter how long he lay there, he wouldn’t be getting any more rest. Not as if he got any the previous night.
Ethan sat up and kicked his legs over the edge of the bed. He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to chase away the thoughts of one very sexy blue-eyed man with warm chestnut-brown hair that plagued his very dreams, or at least, the parts of his dreams he could remember. The soft caress of his hands and the hot flicks of his tongue as the man sucked him into oblivion.
Holden.
Ethan couldn’t believe he’d hooked up with some guy last night. It wasn’t like him and he couldn’t explain how he just let his guard down so completely. It was as if Holden had some sort of power over him to just cause Ethan to let go of everything. No worries or obligations of doing the right thing. He just let go and let Holden give him a small piece of the happiness he’d been denying himself ever since Jay’s death.
What hurt Ethan the most is that for a brief moment in time, he hadn’t thought at all of Jay or how him being intimate with another man would bother Jay. It was just Ethan and Holden in their own little bubble, where nothing or no one could touch them. Not even the memories of his dead lover.
What kind of person does that make me? Ethan thought to himself. I vowed to love Jay until the end of time and then I go and let some random guy suck me off? I’m a terrible person.
No, you’re not. Jay’s voice echoed inside Ethan’s head. I’m gone and never coming back. It’s time for you to let go.
“But I’m not ready.” Ethan gripped the sides of his head and bent at the waist. A strangled cry passed his lips, then a hysterical laugh.
Was this it? Was he losing his mind again? Would he go hunt Holden down and put him in a cage like he’d done to poor Jensen?
“No!” Ethan’s body shook as he struggled to gain control.
“Ethan.” He looked up when a knocked sounded at his door. “Are you okay?”
Jensen’s voice beat a path through the panic rising in Ethan’s head. He took a calming breath before he could answer.
“Yeah. I’m great.”
“Hey!” Jensen opened the door and walked inside. He took a seat next to Ethan on the bed. “Sorry we got in late. Josh and I really didn’t want to be gone that long on your first night here.”
“No, it was fine.” Ethan patted Jensen on the knee. “I’m an adult and can take care of myself without having a babysitter here to monitor me,” he teased.
“Oh shut up.” Jensen smacked him in the arm. “All I’m saying is I know this is a tough time of the year for you and Josh and I both want you to know we�
�re here for you. Always.” Jensen entwined his fingers with Ethan’s and held his hand.
After everything he’d done to Jensen and Josh, Ethan couldn’t understand how they were able to forgive him.
“How can you be so forgiving?” A hot tear fell from his eye.
“Ethan, sweetie, don’t cry.” Jensen wrapped his arm around Ethan’s shoulders. “Josh and I understand what you were and are still going through. You’re a good person who deserves to be happy again. No one can blame you for losing your shit there for a while. You lost the man you were going to marry. Some people can never recover from such a great loss, but you did. Every day is a struggle but you’re getting better, Ethan.”
“No I’m not.” His voice came out on a sob. “I’m a terrible person.” He brought his hands up to cover his eyes.
“Why would you say that?” Jensen rubbed his hand in small circles on Ethan’s back.
“I went out last night.” Ethan shifted on the bed to look into Jensen’s eyes.
“So.” Jensen lifted his eyebrows in confusion.
“And I let another guy blow me.” Just saying it made Ethan’s heart drop out of his chest. He felt like a piece of shit.
“Oh.” Jensen pursed his lips for a second as if trying to digest what he just heard. “Oh!” Jensen’s eyes went wide.
“I can’t believe I did that but…” Ethan didn’t know how to explain it. Could he tell Jensen that Holden had been so tempting and sweet and there was no way on God’s green earth he could have refused the man? No matter what, Ethan had wanted it. He wanted to be with Holden and the fact that they had just met didn’t mean shit. For the first time in the past five years, Ethan wanted to feel the touch of another person.
“But what?” Jensen pushed.
“I don’t think I could have turned my back on him and walked away.” He glanced over at Jensen. “Does that sound crazy?”
“No.” Jensen snorted. “I think it’s a good thing. Not that you should be getting blow jobs in public parking lots, but that you’re putting yourself out there. Meeting people and making new friends is always a good thing. You’ve been alone long enough, Ethan.”
Ethan nodded his head and bit his bottom lip to keep from saying anything else. There was something about Holden that made him unique compared to the other guys who had hit on him in the past few years. Ethan actually wanted Holden to come on to him and proposition him. Totally out of character for Ethan.
“So.” Jensen hopped up on the bed, tucking his knees underneath him. The way he sat reminded Ethan of a small child excited to play with a new toy. “What’s this guy’s name? I’ve gotta know. We might know him.”
“Uh, no.” Ethan stood from the bed and walked to the closet to grab some clean clothes before heading to the shower. “Not going to happen. I’m taking his name to my grave.”
“Why?”
“Why does it matter, Jensen?” Ethan held his arms out to the sides. “I’ll probably never see the guy again so it doesn’t matter.”
“If that’s the case then why can’t you at least tell me his name?” Jensen crossed his arms over his chest and glared up at him.
“Jensen, come on.” Ethan could feel the start of a headache settling in. “Just let me have this, okay?”
“Fine!” Jensen huffed after a whole minute of staring at him as if he thought that would break Ethan. “But if it happens again, I want to know his name, got it?”
“Got it.” Ethan waved Jensen through the doorway and he followed him out. Just as he was about to enter the bathroom, Jensen called out to him.
“Ethan, tonight we are going to Nehalem to have dinner with the pack. We want to introduce you to the guys and they are dying to meet you.”
Ethan’s mouth thinned into a straight line. He didn’t feel like he’d be very good company. “I don’t know, Jensen.”
“It’ll be fun. It’s a full moon so there will be a run after dinner. I can’t tell you how amazing it is to watch. Still a little creepy, but damn it’s exciting.”
Ethan had never had the pleasure of seeing Josh shift from human to wolf and he did want to witness it firsthand. He could endure one dinner with being the center of attention just to see the wolves. Because there wasn’t a doubt in Ethan’s mind these men were curious about him. After all, Ethan did lose his mind and attack Jensen and Josh. Their family members probably thought them insane for forgiving Ethan.
“Okay, I’ll go,” he said as he turned toward the bathroom.
“Don’t try to hide it,” Jensen shouted over his shoulder. “I know you’re excited! See you around five.”
“Later!” Ethan yelled out to Jensen, then got in the shower.
* * * *
“So you let some guy blow you in Clancy’s parking lot?”
“Josh!” Jensen smacked his lover in the arm.
Ethan sat in the backseat, debating whether or not to grab the door handle and make a jump for it.
“What?” Josh asked in a shocked tone, eyes wide.
“I’m sorry, Ethan.” Jensen turned around to face him. “I told him, thinking he’d take it seriously.” Jensen glared over at his boyfriend. “Apparently I was wrong.”
“When is it a bad thing to congratulate a guy on getting his dick sucked?” Josh turned to look at Ethan. “It’s a beautiful thing.”
“Dear god.” Ethan let his head fall back on his shoulders. From his position, he could see outside the rear window at the twinkling stars above him. He kept an eye out for a falling star so he could make a wish that Josh not embarrass him tonight.
“Keep it up and you’ll never get another one again. You feel me?” Jensen said between clenched teeth.
“Jeez, babe, calm down.”
“I will if you promise to be on your best behavior tonight.”
“I promise, I promise. Just don’t take away those fabulous lips of yours. My dick would be very lonely.”
“Fuck me,” Ethan growled. He was sick of listening to the two love birds. After three years of living together, Josh and Jensen were still like newlyweds. “Are we almost there?”
Not more than ten minutes later, Josh pulled the car up a long driveway to a large home. It was gorgeous, set back from the road. A wide-open yard surrounded the house, then the forest behind it circled the property. As far as the eye could see, trees grew in thick clusters. Out this far from the city, the sky was clear, with no illuminated pollution taking away from the pretty night sky. The stars seemed to shine brighter out his far.
When Ethan climbed out of the car he noticed several other vehicles parked along the drive. It looked like there would be a full house tonight. The thought of being around a lot of people made Ethan a little nervous but he swallowed it down and pushed his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking. Jensen and Josh didn’t judge him and he had to imagine neither would their family and friends.
“Come on, Ethan.” Josh clamped a hand on his shoulder. “I promise no one will bite you.”
“That’s good to know,” he muttered under his breath.
Jensen pulled open the front door and entered first. Ethan stayed between Jensen and Josh as he walked into the loud house. Laughter and talking greeting him at the door. A couple kids went whizzing by, screaming out hellos as they passed.
“That was Carson and Kamden.” Jensen provided the names for him. “Kamden’s got an older brother around here somewhere but he’s too cool to hang with the younger boys.” Jensen made air quotes when he said cool. “Here, let’s go into the kitchen. That’s where everyone congregates.”
Ethan nodded his head and followed Jensen.
The kitchen was a flourish of activity. Men of all types stood around laughing and talking. Some were standing, some were sitting. They all looked so very happy. This was an unusual concept for Ethan. Sure, he knew how happy Josh and Jensen were but he didn’t know there were others like them just as happy.
“Hey, Josh!” A man that looked identical to Josh stood up. “Is this Ethan
?”
“Yep.” Josh pulled the other man into a hug. “He’s our crazy friend.”
“Josh, so help me god.” Jensen growled.
“Nice to meet you, Ethan, my name is Jake.” Ethan shook Jake’s outstretched hand. “I’m the good twin.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” Ethan smiled. He’d seen several pictures of Josh’s brothers, Jake and Cole. Josh was proud of his brothers and was always sending Ethan pics of them with funny stories of stuff they’d done together.
“Look who I found outside.” A man came in carrying one little boy over his shoulder and another one clutched in his arm around the waist. It was the little boys that had run past them in the front hallway.
“Uncle Holden, put us down.”
Ethan’s eyes widened and he moved to get a better look at the man carrying the children. His hands grew sweaty and his heart started to beat out of control.
He watched as the man set the boys down then stood back up. The brightest blue eyes he’d ever seen stared at him across the room. The smile that had been on Holden’s face fell and he took a step toward Ethan.
“Ethan?” Holden said in a near whisper.
“Holden.” Ethan couldn’t take his eyes off of Holden as he made his way across the room.
Everything around Ethan seemed to go still. All the noise around them had grown quiet and he didn’t know if it was just in his head that the silence surrounded him or if everyone else in the kitchen picked up on the tension floating between him and Holden and stopped talking.
“I was wondering when I’d see you again.” The smile came back to Holden’s lips, lighting up his whole face.
“Oh my god.” Josh looked between Ethan and Holden. “Is the guy you let blow you the other night?”
“Josh!”
Ethan could hear Jensen snapping at Josh and Josh laughing but he couldn’t turn around to look at his friends. All his attention was for Holden. He had thought the strong attraction he had toward the man was just a fluke, but now as Holden stood before him, smiling with that wolfish grin on his lips, Ethan found himself spellbound.
