by Mj Fields
I nod and try not to let my bitterness about the fact we fell apart consume me. I know he’s dealing with his shit, and even though he didn’t make one fucking game, hasn’t returned a call or a text since August, I get it.
“Well, he fucking hated me, too. Can’t decide if he still does.”
“Logan can be a dick, but he loves the game.”
“Not sure about that. He gave me more than one of his chances to outshine him this season. Unreal, man.”
Makes no sense. Why would he do that when he wants to go pro?
“So, clearly, he likes you.”
JJ laughs. “He also digs this Elle chick. Punched me in the face for coming on to her.”
“He what?” I can’t help laughing.
“Yeah, I wanted to tear his ass up.”
“Did you?” Please say yes. Fucker deserted me.
“Fuck no. The bartender at that place on Marshall broke it up right quick.”
The mention of the word bartender brings back the memories, but she’s not there anymore. Hell, she’s not anywhere. It’s like she disappeared. But that’s in the past. There’s no space in my damn head for her either. Still, I can’t help asking, “Lou’s?”
“Lou, the guy with red hair and a grumpy as hell look on his face all the damn time?”
I smile and nod. “That’s him. He loves the Orangemen, though. Good guy.”
“Same guy then. Loves the team.”
I try not to ask, but it can’t be helped. “How are the bartenders looking these days?”
“There’s an older chick; she’d be hot if I were into the cougar scene. A couple of blondes and a little firecracker, Latino chick with cool eyes. Blue around the iris, brown around the blue.”
What the fuck? I think as my heart beats a little faster.
“Sounds like the same crew.”
“Yeah, the little Latino is hot as fuck. All the guys used to try to pick her up. They got shot down right quick. The game stopped, too, when her belly grew.” He laughs.
“Come again?”
“She’s pregnant.” He laughs. “She’s all belly, tits, and attitude now. Your boy, Logan, was everyone’s guess to who the baby’s daddy was, but then Elle started coming around so that theory was shot down.”
It can’t be Ray, but his description is spot the fuck on. She’s fucking pregnant? What the fuck?
Took me a good month after not being able to find her in Brooklyn to move on.
“You okay, man?”
I look at him and smile. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.”
“Might not be your boy’s kid, Trucker,” he tries to assure me. “Locker room talk says Mitch and Downs fucked her. Then people started saying it was some guy who hangs out at the bar.”
“Gary.” As soon as his name leaves my lips, I look up.
“Some used car dealer, like mid-thirties?”
I stand up. “You want another drink?”
I hear him following me to the bar. “Yeah, man, sure.”
Standing behind the bar, I smile at him, and he cocks his head.
“She the same girl they said you were with?”
“I was with a lot of girls, JJ.” I laugh.
“Huh.” He sits down on one of the leather bar stools.
“What’s huh mean?”
“Nah, never mind. Math doesn’t work out.” He nods. “She can’t be more than six or seven months.”
I laugh out of relief and hold back any ounce of anger inside of me.
“Her name’s Keeka,” he says.
I look up at him, take a drink, set it down, and then tell him, “Not her then. The girl I fucked around with, who might fit the description, is named Ray.”
“Fucking good thing, man. You looked like you’d seen a ghost.” He laughs, and so do I, but fuck if it doesn’t hurt.
In the kitchen, I’m taking the food out of the take-out containers and putting it on serving dishes when the doorbell rings.
“You wanna get that, JJ?”
“Sure, man, sure.”
I hear him open the door and laugh. “Coach Brown?”
I hear Coach’s bellowing laugh. “Well, look who’s here? Cocky son of a bitch.”
I walk out, wiping my hands, and see Coach hugging JJ while JJ is looking at me like what the fuck.
I smile and give him a nod. He shrugs then laughs.
Sitting around the table a little while later, the doorbell rings again.
“I’ll get that.”
I walk out and open the door. “Hey, Coach, come on in.”
Coach Billings shakes his head. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know?”
“Got my contract?”
“I do, and you better make damn sure he’s worth it.”
I see Johnny, my agent, pull up in a red Porsche and hop out.
“Looks like we’re making deals today and making dreams come true.”
“Fucking agents,” Coach Billings grumbles.
When I walk into the dining room with the head coach of the Giants and Johnny Stokes, JJ just stares.
Coach Brown stands up and shakes his hand. “Nice to see you again, Billings.” He turns and looks at Johnny. “Nice to meet you in person.”
I look at JJ and nod toward them. He stands and shakes their hands, still looking a little starstruck. Then we all sit down, and I pour them a glass of red wine.
“Wine?” Johnny laughs. “Shouldn’t we be celebrating this contract with champagne?”
“Got the Dom chilling; just wanna make sure it’s what I asked for.” I lift my wine glass up. “To hard work and dreams coming true.”
JJ is smiling and looking around the table, silently chuckling now and then. When dinner is done, he helps me clear the table.
“You’re signing right now? Right now while I’m here?”
I nod.
“Damn, Trucker, thank you for sharing this moment with me. If I never make it, I’ll always remember I was part of something great.”
“You’ll make it, JJ. I know you will.”
We walk into my office, where my agent is sitting in my damn chair. For this, though, I will let it go.
“Have a seat.”
I roll my eyes at him and point to the chair next to the one I’m sitting in. “JJ.”
He sits and listens as my contract terms are being read.
“Three years with the Giants, a signing bonus of five million.” Johnny looks at Coach Billings as he pulls a check out and slides it across the desk. “I’ll cash this and give you whatever I don’t take.” Johnny laughs.
“You’re well worth it,” I tell him.
“Before we continue with your contract, I wanna offer one to you.” Johnny points at JJ.
“What?” He laughs like it’s a joke. It’s no joke.
“I’d love to have you as one of my clients, Jones. Trucker was right; you’re good.”
He laughs again. “You serious right now?”
I look over at him and nod.
“No shit?”
He pushes the contract toward JJ, and I watch his eyes bug out then fill with tears.
“This for real?”
“It is. And it’s the same one I signed. I looked it over. All you need to do is sign your name.”
“Shit. This has got to be some sort of joke.” He laughs.
“No joke, son,” Coach Brown assures.
“Okay, now, back to you, Trucker.” Johnny pulls Jones’ signed contract back. “The other terms you—”
“Just give me the damn contract.” I didn’t want him to mention my other fucking terms, so I had to put a stop to it right now.
I sign it, push it back to him, and then look at Coach Billings.
He pulls an envelope out of his sports coat and pushes it toward Johnny. “I know this kid’s gonna get a lot of offers at the draft, but I want to offer him a place on our team.”
Jones jumps up. “You’re fucking kidding me!”
“I don’t kid, Jones,” Billings tells hi
m, serious as shit. “This is my life. This team, my family. Hell, I like my players better than I do my own kids. You wanna wait for the draft, be my guest. You wanna sign with us now, be part of the family now, here’s your opportunity.”
I watch as Jones gets up and walks in fucking circles, laughing as tears roll down his face. Then I watch as he squats down, folds his hands, and says some sort of silent prayer. And fuck if I don’t feel my own emotions boiling inside me.
JJ then looks at me, places his hand on his chest, and stands. “All of this is because of you, man. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
I stand up and give him a hug, telling him, “You did this. Your drive and determination, JJ. You owe me nothing. You owe yourself everything. Sign the contract, finish this year at SU, and then live your fucking dream, man.”
Watching the cab take JJ back to the airport two days later is bittersweet. I am part of a team, have teammates I party with, laugh with, and play a game I love with, but a true bond, one like he and I built … there is nothing like it.
Sitting on my couch in this big fucking house, I scroll through my social media page. I see Ava, who was once like a sister to me, who had lost her fiancé, Thomas Hardy, to a horrible hit and run accident eight months ago. She has twins now and is engaged to the man Logan and I always thought she would end up with—Luke Lane—and she apparently moved home.
I know from one of the guys I played high school football with, the only one who attended a couple of my games this past season, Jeff McFee, that the twins Ava had aren’t from the same father. One is T’s and one is Luke’s. I can only imagine what she went through because of that. As pissed off as I am that Logan hasn’t even contacted me, and that Lucas, his dad, my mentor, hasn’t done much but send a text after a game, I got it.
I’m not blood to them. Still hurts a bit. Nevertheless, I vowed to myself that I would never do that to Jones. Never.
What will keep me away from the town I was raised in is that fact that Logan seems to be up Keeka’s ass and has no idea how much I loved that girl, or how long it took to get over it. I won’t ever forget that the last time I saw him, we were slashing the tires of some punk-ass kid who was going to take his little crush, London, who I always call Paris, to her senior dinner dance.
I could have gotten fucking arrested and lost my chance here, but he needed me, so I was right fucking there. And where is he now? He’s doing me dirty. May as well be sleeping with the fucking enemy.
Fuck him. Fuck Keeka, and Downs, and Mitch, and fuck that creepy fuck Gary, but mostly, fuck him.
I take a picture of my roaring fireplace and load it up. I type in the words: Home, is where loyalty lies. So glad to be home. Then I post it.
Chapter Thirty-One
Chaos
Keeka
Sitting at the bar that is packed wall to wall, I could hear a pin drop.
News broke only minutes ago that a shooting had just occurred at a new dance club, Chaos. It was the same club that one of the SU players who had just borrowed my phone to call an Uber was going to. He left just an hour ago.
“Lou?” I whisper as tears fall down my face. “The kid who used my phone?”
“JJ Jones,” he whispers back.
“He called an Uber to take him there.”
He wraps his big, old arm around me and hugs me tightly. “Well, let’s just hope he got sidetracked.”
When the camera crew switches to live feed, I nearly fall to my knees when I see a truck that looks like Logan’s.
“That’s … That’s—”
“He hasn’t been in town, girl. It could be any black Chevy,” Lou says as he holds me up.
I look over at some of the team, who are sitting at one of the tables, and see Mitch stand and start to shake.
“It’s his, Lou. It’s Logan’s.” I point to Mitch.
He looks at him then back at me. “Okay, sweetheart, now’s the time to pray.”
As Lou consoles Reda, I walk over to Mitch and grab his hand. “He’s gonna be okay.”
“Fuck, Keeks.” He wipes away a tear. “Elle and her roommates are there. My girl Jamie is there.”
“Elle?”
Oh God, no. No, No. No.
I’m on the verge of losing my mind when I look over and Lou mouths, “pray.”
“I fucking love her, Keeks. I can’t lose her. And what the fuck is Logan doing! What the fuck!”
It seems like an eternity before the police arrive, and then two men jump out of a black SUV.
“There!” Mitch yells and points at the TV. “That’s my girl! Fuck, fuck. Come on, Links. Come on, buddy.”
I see three girls, girls I have seen with Elle on occasions.
“Are they Elle’s roommates?”
“Yeah. Fuck. Come on, Links; get the girl and get the fuck out.”
I hear someone in the crowd gasp, “Is that Brody and Maddox Hines?”
“Who?” I ask Mitch.
“Fucking legends, Keeks. Rock stars who live in the same town Logan does.”
When we watch them push through the police barricade, I’m further confused. Clearly, the police are as well.
“That’s badass,” I hear someone say.
Then I hear one of the guys behind us ask, “Didn’t Brody Hines kill someone?”
“Fucking hope he kills whoever the fuck is in there shooting up the place,” Mitch snaps.
Moment later, I see the two men walk out, and one is carrying a girl. I see the bracelet she always wears.
“That’s Elle! That’s Elle!”
Tears run down my face when I see him.
“And Logan! Logan is okay, Mitch! Logan is okay!” My body shakes as I sob.
Mitch hugs me. “It’s all gonna be okay, Keeks.”
“No.” I pull away from him. “Jones is there. JJ Jones, your teammate, he is there, too.”
It’s four in the morning, and we’re all sitting around the TVs, still watching body after body being brought out.
“Is that …?” I ask.
Mitch clutches my shoulder. “No, it’s not Jones, Keeks.”
He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his phone. “Coach?”
I watch him intently as he seems to be receiving news, news that I know will surely devastate us.
He swallows hard as he ends the call and shoves the phone in his pocket. “Downs is in critical condition. And Jones …” His body shakes, and his face scrunches up as tears fall. “Jones is gone, man.”
Mitch and I decide to head up to my place and wait a few hours before we head to Blue Valley, the town where Logan lives.
After I shower and dress, I come out of the bathroom, and he hands me the phone. “You’re never gonna believe this shit, Keeks.”
“What?” I ask, looking down.
“Look at the pictures while I shower. But spoiler alert, Elle is really London Fields.”
“Who?”
“Stepdaughter of the rock star who busted through the police line last night. Step-sister to his son, equally as famous. And how the fuck don’t you know the names of some of the greatest legends of our times?” He laughs.
I shrug as I look through the pictures.
“Logan has known her most of his fucking life because his stepmother, Tessa, has a daughter, Harper, who is married to Maddox Hines.” He makes an explosion with his hands. “Mind. Blown.”
“London …” I say as I sit down on my bed. “Well, London, I’m so glad you’re okay.”
I try to call Logan, but he doesn’t answer. Even though I know he’s okay, it doesn’t seem real.
I hold my hand over my belly that is starting to cramp. “Sorry, baby, I’ll get you some water and food, okay? I love you. It’s just been a crazy night. These things don’t happen often, and I promise we’ll be back in a place of peace and happiness soon.”
I open the cupboard and grab the peanut butter, setting it next to the apples, and then I slice one up.
Dipping the first apple into the peanut butter, I
rub my belly. “Here it comes.”
I take a bite and look up to see Mitch watching me.
His eyes narrow. “You’re gonna be a really good mom, Keeks.”
I roll my eyes at him and tell him for the hundredth time, “Still not yours.”
“You sure? Because we can’t move on until we know it’s true, Keeks.”
“We?” I take another slice and dip it.
“Jamie and I … She knows there’s a possibility.”
“Your penis never entered my vagina, Mitch. There is no possibility at all. We didn’t kiss, we didn’t play around, so again, this baby is not ours. It’s mine.”
“You—”
“Shut up about it already.” I throw an apple slice at him, and he catches it and smiles.
“If it was—”
I throw another.
“Keeks, I’m just asking: would you tell me if it was?”
This time, I throw the rest of it at him. “Would it matter? I mean, I’ve told you a hundred times it’s not, and that’s truth, Mitch.” I pause when I realize I said that’s truth. “I swear on the baby’s existence, there is no chance, okay?”
He smiles and nods. “All right then.” He takes a bite of the apple. “Give me five.”
Mitch insisted on going to the auto body shop where Logan’s truck was towed to see if his phone is there, because Mitch was sure Logan would have at least messaged him, and he was right. Back in the car, we charge the phone so that, when we get there, Logan will have it.
I wake up when I feel the road get bumpy. We pass by a large garage that seems to be a house.
“You feeling better?” Mitch asks.
I yawn and nod.
“That’s where Logan’s dad and stepmom live.”
I look out the window at the snow-covered trees and fields. “They have a long driveway.”
“It’s a whole fucking road. At the end of it is Maddox and his wife’s house. That’s where Coach said they were headed.” He chuckles nervously. “Never been here.”
“Well, if they don’t want us here, we’ll tell them that, as soon as we see Logan and Elle—I mean—”
“Right?” He laughs. “After I see Jamie and know everyone’s okay, I’m gonna kick his ass for not telling me the damn truth.”
