“Everyone, Christmas is just around the corner. This year’s wedding season has just ended. We will be busy from now until after Christmas day, so I suggest we all get to bed and prepare ourselves for the next few days. Today and all it’s mishaps and achievements is done. We have much to learn from God, and maybe that is what we are supposed to take from today’s events,” said Mr. Fisher.
Mark stood, placing his hat securely on his head and putting his heavy jacket back on.
“Annie, I will be seeing you,” he promised. “School is ended for the rest of this year, so we will have a little more time we can spend with each other. I will need your help completing the gifts I’m giving out. You are much more artistic than I am.”
Annie grinned tiredly. “I’ll be glad to help you out. I have final gift preparations to complete as well.”
***
The next day, Annie and her mother began working on Christmas preparations in earnest. Baking and browning bread cubes, chopping vegetables and boiling various meats for the Christmas meal took up most of the next several days. As they worked, they talked quietly between themselves about the damage Hannah had attempted to cause to Annie.
“I am still struggling with forgiveness. In my prayers, I have learned that my desire to protect you has taken over. I have to agree with Mark – be careful around her, Annie! I think I have forgiven her, as the Lord wishes, but it is so hard! Oh, look what I’ve done!” Mrs. Fisher had been rolling out cookie dough and, in her emotion, had pressed down so hard on the dough with the roller that she had split the circle of dough in two pieces. Sighing, she picked the pieces up, re-formed a ball and began rolling it out more carefully.
“Mamm, we all need to be careful. It will take time for the church bishop and deacon to come to a decision – and, unless I’m wrong, Hannah’s eventual decision will dictate what happens. I don’t get a good feeling about what may happen. Stealing? Violating the confidentiality of our neighbors? Those are serious actions. They will be asking Hannah if she repents before they make any decisions about her future here in Peace Landing. I will be very careful, not only about my teaching, but about all aspects of my life. I don’t trust her. That’s not a good feeling. I have learned a valuable lesson about friendship and trust – from Hannah, of all people!” said Annie.
Mrs. Fisher smiled. “You know, you have a staunch ally in Mark Stoltzfus. That young man cares for you very much. He will help you make sure that you won’t be harmed ever again.”
Annie blushed and grinned at her mother. “Yes. I get that feeling, too. He has become very . . . important to me, mamm. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the near future, but I hope he stays in my life.” She looked down as she measured ingredients, missing her mother’s delighted grin.
Chapter 6
Now that the first semester of school had ended, Peace Landing began preparations for Christmas in earnest. Families all around the community began preparing for their own celebrations, as well as for the traditional, community-wide celebration.
In his parents’ home, Mark Stoltzfus looked ahead several days. Annie is very important to me. I love her and I want to share my life with her. If she accepts my proposal, God willing, there will be several little Stoltzfuses running around in a few years. I want to be her husband, and I want her to be my wife. If the Lord be willing, she will accept my proposal.
The closer Christmas day came, the more Mark found himself helping his parents with their family’s preparations. Their relatives would be coming from another Amish community to spend the day with them. Mrs. Stoltzfus stayed busy from dawn til dark, cooking roasts, hams and turkeys, baking and preparing side dishes. Mark and Mr. Stoltzfus moved furniture around to squeeze in more beds so they could accommodate their relatives.
In the Lapp home, preparations were overcast by the pending decision on Hannah’s status within the Peace Landing community. Mr. and Mrs. Lapp knew that any decision made by the ministers and bishop of the Peace Landing church would be final. Now that Hannah was even more closely watched, she rarely went anywhere – not that she felt welcome in Peace Landing. Word had gotten out about her actions against Annie Fisher, and others who had been victimized by her actions remembered the consequences of what they had experienced – everything from parental punishment to chastisement from the church ministers, all for actions they had not committed.
The first time Hannah tried to go to town with her family, as she tried to greet some of these people, she found herself ignored. The two women she had told about the Kurtz childrens’ involvement with an Englisher therapist came to her in the store.
“Hannah, how could you use me like that? My mamm came to my house and asked me if I had anything to do with that! I couldn’t lie – and now, she’s so angry with me!” said Miriam, the first woman who had learned of Hannah’s juicy gossip. Hannah, reeling, rushed back to the buggy, where Rachel Yoder was waiting for her. Her message to Hannah was identical, expressing sharp anger and distrust. “Never will I trust you again when it comes to anything you tell me about anybody in Peace Landing!” Rachel turned with her back stiff and stalked off in an angry huff.
Hannah had now begun to dimly realize the impact of her actions against Annie – yet she still continued to try and rationalize them. If I had been allowed more freedom around Peace Landing, I wouldn’t have had to try and destroy her reputation – although I am sorry about how this has affected Rachel and Miriam.
Two days before Christmas, the bishop and deacon met to discuss the situation with Hannah Lapp. While the deacon advocated a sternly worded warning, the bishop felt that excommunication would protect the community and its connection to God.
“I have spoken to Miss Fisher, her family and the Kurtz family. They have all suffered harm. Even the two young women Miss Lapp used to spread the news about the Kurtz children have suffered – and still suffer today. Miss Lapp stole items from Miss Fisher’s classroom, in an attempt to cause her reputation harm . . . all to put herself in a position to gain Miss Fisher’s teaching position.
“Miss Fisher was just baptized this past summer, after she recovered from her broken leg. She has carried herself, showing a good understanding of the Ordnung and our relationship with the Lord. We will need to speak to Miss Lapp and her parents. If she does not show remorse, will will have no choice but to excommunicate her, for at least the short term,” concluded the bishop.
“Ya, that is true. I am just concerned that we not use excommunication or Shunning too freely. I do see that community members have been harmed. If Miss Lapp does not show remorse, I advocate excommunication for at least the short term,” said the deacon.
“Let’s get this unpleasant duty done, then. To take place so close to such a holy time . . . that is unfortunate,” sighed the bishop.
Twenty minutes later, they were knocking on the front door of the Lapp home.
“Good morning! Oh . . . welcome, bishop. Come in,” said Mrs. Lapp apprehensively. She knew the reason for their visit.
“Good morning, Mrs. Lapp. If you would, please get your husband and your daughter. We need to talk,” said the bishop.
Before the discussion began, the bishop and deacon prayed, seeking wisdom for their decision, as well as forgiveness for Hannah.
“Miss Lapp, what you have been doing for the past several months regarding Miss Fisher is very serious. Seeking to destroy her reputation so you could get her position; stealing from her classroom – all of these are serious sins against another and against God. Would you explain why you carried out these actions?” asked the bishop. As he spoke, he stroked his long, salt-and-pepper beard.
“I am sorry for what I did, of course. I have been . . . restricted . . . in my movements around Peace Landing, bishop. As a consequence, I didn’t learn of the teaching opening until it had been filled. I have my teaching qualification, so I should have been considered for the position, at the very least. Now, I am sure Miss Fisher is a wonderful teacher, and the school board, in their w
isdom, selected who they felt the best candidate to be. But I was not even given a chance to compete for the job!”
“Why have you been ‘restricted,’ to use your word, in your ability to move around the community?” asked the deacon.
Here, Hannah stumbled in her semi-prepared remarks. She had overlooked her culpability for her past actions, which led to her parents deciding to allow her to be away from their home only under supervision. “Umm, my parents, they decided that it was best that I . . . uh, be escorted around the community . . .”
“But why was this necessary? Why did they feel they needed to place conditions upon your movements throughout Peace Landing?” pressed the deacon sharply.
Hannah was caught and she knew it. She sighed heavily, battling impatience, frustration and a feeling of being put-upon.
“Because. They believe I have not acted in a way that is trustworthy or that reflects the values of the Amish,” she said sharply.
“And . . . why is this?” asked the bishop.
Hannah looked from one parent to the other. Neither one would rescue her.
“When I was out with friends in the past, I . . . I would get involved in activities that hurt others – my school mates,” she said reluctantly.
“When you say ‘get involved in,‘ do you mean you would follow another’s suggestion . . . or would you come up with these activities and get others to cooperate with you?” asked the bishop.
The noose was slowly tightening around Hannah, and she knew it. Shifting and betraying her growing anger, she looked up proudly and said, “I would get others to cooperate with my ideas.”
“In the same way you acted against Miss Fisher for, ‘taking‘ the job you believed you should have?”
“ . . . Ya.” Hannah’s heart was thumping heavily. Why didn’t I come up with this before? I can’t be out there by myself!
“What are your feelings about what you did to Miss Fisher?”
Hannah’s reckless streak asserted itself here.Abandoning all caution, she sat up straight and said, “She stole the job I should have had! I was only trying to right a wrong, and I’m not sorry for that!”
As she spoke, her parents sat up straight, gasped and went pale.
Hearing this, the bishop and deacon looked at each other, then they looked at the Lapp family.
“Then, Miss Lapp, Mr. and Mrs. Lapp, I am sorry. For this to take place right before the celebration of our Lord’s birth is very painful for me and for Deacon Bontrager. I ask you one last time, Miss Lapp . . . and carefully consider your answer before giving it – will you honestly express remorse for your actions in front of the community?”
Hannah looked down at her clasped hands in her lap. Several tense seconds clicked by. Then . . . “No. I will not.” As she spoke, her face reflected a mulish refusal to back down from her original position. Her expression didn’t change even as she heard her mother’s pain-filled exclamation.
“Then, we have no choice but to excommunicate you from the Amish community. Normally, we give you several weeks to reflect on the error of your ways, but because you stole from a community member and you attempted to defame her, we have no choice. According to several community members, this is part of an ongoing pattern of behavior. We do not do this happily or lightly, Miss Lapp. You may continue living here in your parents’ home, but . . . well, you know the rules. You are welcome at the community Christmas gathering, but you will sit separately at the community meal. Hope Township will learn of your excommunication. It will be up to their school board to decide on your teaching position there. It is our hope that this experience will teach you humility and consideration for others, and that you will return to us. Of course, if you decide you do repent, we will welcome you back with open arms – once you have made a public confession and statement of your remorse,” finished the bishop.
Mrs. Lapp crumpled into her husband’s shoulder as she began to cry. He swallowed several times, trying to hold back his own emotions. Hannah simply sat, looking at her interlocked fingers.
“ . . . Ya. Denki, bishop. I will think seriously about what you have told me.” Her words came out in an insincere monotone.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lapp. Thank you for allowing us to visit you. Again I am so sorry we had to deliver this news right before Christmas. I’m sure you understand . . .”
“Ya, bishop. We do. You did what you felt you needed to do. We understand that. We will do our best to communicate to our daughter the significance of your decision and how it affects, not only her, but our entire family,” said Mr. Lapp.
Deacon Bontrager and the bishop left. Their downcast faces reflected their pain at having to officially excommunicate a member, especially at Christmas.
Inside the house, Mrs. Lapp sat at the kitchen table, rocking and crying. Hannah got up silently, not looking at her distraught mother and drifted to her room, where she closed the door. Mr. Lapp needed to relieve his agitation and anger through physical work – very physical work, so he would not follow Hannah to her room and rage at her. He knew that, when she was in this particular mood, nothing would get through to him. In the barn, he grabbed his hay hooks and began slinging heavy bales of hay closer to the livestock stalls. Once this was done, he still felt his impotence and frustration burning within him. He began sweeping loose hay to the outer door, then mucked out the horse’s stall. Next, he made some repairs to some broken equipment. Hearing a footfall at the door, he looked up, hoping it would be a more-repentant Hannah. Instead, seeing Jacob with strong concern etched on his face.
“Daed? Are you okay? I’ve been looking for you. Mamm is very upset. She told me that Hannah was excommunicated this morning. Where is Hannah?”
“She was in her room when I came out here – she’s in one of those moods where nothing we say will sink in. That stubborn girl! She . . . didn’t even care when your mamm began to cry! I wanted to wring her little neck,” growled Mr. Lapp.
“Daed, you know she won’t listen. She’s all caught up in rationalizing her decisions and actions. Please don’t take this the wrong way . . . this may be the best thing for her. If she feels the sting of shunning, she may re-think her actions. She may decide she needs to repent. Give it time. Don’t talk to her. She thinks she’s right and we’re all wrong. Once she sees the community isn’t talking to her – when she has to sit separately at meals, she may realize she’s done this to herself. It may take some time, but, if she decides she wants to publicly repent, we may have a completely different Hannah living under our roof,” Jacob said.
“Jacob, I know you’re trying to see the positive side of this. You’re trying to make me feel better. But she’s been like this all her life. Even when the two of you were very young, she had a sense of entitlement that we were unable to extinguish, no matter what we said or did. Once she feels the shunning take place, Jacob, she may leave. I’m afraid of how this will affect your mother,” Mr. Lapp said.
“Daed, anything could happen. Why don’t we move the long table from the kitchen and replace it with the two smaller ones? This way, we aren’t at risk of excommunication,” Jacob suggested.
“Ya, let’s get them moved. I have a plastic tarp we can cover the long table with, so it’s not damaged out here,” said Mr. Lapp.
At dinner, the atmosphere was strained as Hannah sat at her table by herself. She listened as her parents and brother talked with each other.
That’s fine! I don’t care. So they aren’t talking to me. The more I think about it, the better moving from Peace Landing sounds. If she is going to be here, I certainly don’t want to be running into her! Hannah, eating the beef stew her mother had made, began to fantasize about life among the Englishers. Living in Philadelphia, perhaps, or an outlying community. Not wearing the long, plain dresses, aprons and kapps. Finding work and earning money for herself. Meeting someone. Not having to worry about living in compliance with the Ordnung! That, above everything else, excited Hannah the most. She could focus on herself – her wants, her desir
es, her dreams. And she wouldn’t anger anyone. After she washed the dishes, she returned to her room, closing her door.
Downstairs, Jacob and his parents discussed their family’s situation as Jacob urged them to look at the positives. After a few hours, they held hands and prayed.
“I feel a little better now. I just wish . . . I didn’t have to shun my own dear daughter!” said Mrs. Lapp.
“Mamm, I hope this won’t make you upset again, but I am thinking of our family when I say this,” Jacob began slowly. “If she truly refuses to repent, even after going through the pain of Shunning, she may end up leaving. Today, it was stealing and lying about another member. Daed told me that she has always been like this. Isn’t it better to stop it now, before she does something even worse?”
“Jacob, you are right that these thoughts don’t make me happy. After all, she is one of my children. I’m trying to look at the positives here. I know she’s always had this sense of entitlement, and I don’t want her taking actions against any community members that would cause bodily harm,” said Mrs. Lapp.
“I spent a lot of time in the barn this afternoon. I am not at all happy with what she has done to others – not just Miss Fisher, but the Kurtz family and some of your school mates. I am looking at the good of the community here. If she truly does not feel remorse, she can’t repent. And other community members she believes are in her way will be at risk. Only then, her actions might be even more serious and harmful. The only reason Mrs. Kurtz and her daughter weren’t excommunicated is because of their mental conditions. And Barbara caused Miss Fisher to suffer a broken leg! I . . . I do not want to see my beloved Hannah do anything like that,” said Mr. Lapp, choking up.
Living Amish: Simple Pleasures (An Amish Love Story Series) Page 5
