Chapter 17
The descent into darkness was out of nightmare, and it took all Trent's will not to succumb to debilitating terror. Sasha's full-bodied embrace kept the worst of his fears in check, allowing him to concentrate all his thoughts on her and only her. But the howling wind rushing passed his ears, and the terrifying sensation of freefall within total darkness, grated constantly at his already frayed nerves.
He realized soon after they plunged into the access port hidden behind the statue of King Johan, to escape from Sir Simwa’s followers, that it wasn't the short drop to freedom he'd originally anticipated, but a deep, dark abyss, that seemed to descend to the depths of Earth’s very core.
At first, he tried to shout to Vin, hoping to learn exactly what sort of escape it had provided. But he couldn't hear its response, or even know if it made one, the rushing wind muffling all sound. He then tried to link directly with Sasha’s mind through his BC node, but had no luck, experiencing a sense of vertigo that threatened to lead him to unconscious. In the end, he decided to give in, to lose himself in Sasha's embrace as they fell together into the depths of eternal darkness.
The air began to thicken, tendrils slithering from below, grasping at their falling bodies. A creature of infinite horror appeared, its massive maw closing in around them; they'd been led into a trap, to be dropped into the belly of an ancient beast! His mind cried. But before he had a chance to say his last goodbyes, to pour out the feelings that had slipped free of his ironclad heart, his feet struck something solid and they collapsed gently to a solid floor. It took a moment for his mind to recover, having been lost in fearful hallucination. But when it did, he realized; I’m alive.
“Are you alright?” he whispered, not wanting to talk too loudly, still fearful of what may lay hidden within the surrounding darkness. Sasha stirred against him.
“Yes, I'm fine,” she responded weakly as they climbed carefully to their feet. Trent, still scared of losing his only sense of reality in the oppressive darkness, kept a firm grip on Sasha’s waist.
“Light,” at Sasha's word, a dull glow lit the holes bottom, born from the smooth grey walls that encircled them. The glow revealed only a single curved doorway located on the far side, a mysterious symbol on its face. He let escape a relieved sigh, the final ounce of fear that had clung to his being, fading away. They were safe; for now.
“Anti-gravity device,” Sasha whispered, pulling Trent's gaze to the floor. A peculiar black and white swirling mist filled its transparent center, appearing to pull the light out of the air itself.
“Is that how...” he started.
“Yes,” Sasha nodded, “but I’ve never heard of them used in such a manner,” she started towards the door, “it makes little sense, since they could have just used a standard transport tube. But this place is old...very old...” her voice faded.
“Why would you say that?” Trent asked as he continued to study her profile, finding the inquisitive look she adorned made his heart scream to be let free.
“See this crest,” she ran her fingers over the mysterious symbol on the door’s surface. “It is the Crest of Origin, or more commonly known, the Emperor’s Crest,” she explained.
The symbol appeared to be of a faceless man standing with his legs spread and arms crossed before an all black background. Groups of swirling white dots outlined and filled the body’s interior. It took a moment for Trent's mind to register the sight; the entire body is made up of individual galaxies!
“The design changes as new galaxies are colonized by the NHA,” she elaborated. “This crest appears to be made of just under 100 galaxies,” Trent quickly thought back as he considered Sasha's words. If he wasn’t mistaken, this was galaxy 189. “That means this room is over 20,000 years old, probably closer to 25,000, since that is the era Earth was colonized.” Trent starred in amazement as Sasha again destroyed his most basic beliefs. What she had just claimed went against the findings of human ancestral remains from over 2 million years ago. But then, he realized, the years Sasha was referring might be different then the years on Earth.
“25,000 Earth years? Or is there a different measurement? Because if I recall correctly, fossils that could be related to humans were found and dated from over 1.5 million years ago,” Sasha tilted her head, biting her lower lip.
“I'm not sure how time is measured on Earth,” she placed a hand on her hip while turning towards him, “but NHA standard time is based on Planet Origin’s solar cycle, combined with the old Daiwa Federation’s partial base 10 system. So we use a 50 second minute, 100 minute hour, a 25 hour day, a 10 day period, and 280 day year.” Trent nodded; so it is a little longer, but not enough to account for the massive time difference, he realized.
“Native bipedal species, similar in build and appearance of humans, existed on Earth before colonization. Local naming conventions refer to them as Neanderthals, though fail to differentiate a species branch that fits closely to current humans, allowing this branch to be incorrectly considered a part of human evolutionary theory on Earth,” Vin answered his other question.
“Amazing,” Trent whispered as Sasha turned back to the door, his curiosity sated.
He stood quietly by her side as she continued to run her fingers over the symbol, like the contact helped her think. After a few minutes, and moments before he could provide his own recommendation, she raised her bracelet to her lips.
“Vin, how do we open-,” the door slid open and lights illuminated, one after another, down a long narrow tunnel, “I guess that's how,” he couldn’t help but chuckle, forgetting for a time that they were still being pursued. Sasha’s grin widened as she hooked her arm in his.
“Shall we?” she gestured down the tunnel.
“We shall,” he responded with a hop, garnering a giggle.
As they walked in silence, Trent turned to Sasha, having remembered a question from the moment before they plunged into darkness.
“It looks like you have a question?” she asked playfully.
“Yes, actually I do,” he responded in-kind. “What was all that business with the statue of your father, the ring, and the...what did you call it...the Star of Terra? It seemed like I was part of an important ceremony, but...but I really have no clue why,” Sasha's smile faded as she glanced at him, obviously dumbfounded.
“I thought I told you?” she smiled innocently, eyes twinkling. It didn’t take Trent long to realize she was playing with him.
“Nope...nothing, I'm completely in the dark,” he tried to force offence into his voice, but instead, sounded like he’d swallowed a frog. Sasha laughed and leaned in, laying her left hand across his forearm.
“Well, Trent, I guess I do owe you an explanation, and now is as good a time as any I’d gather,” she turned away, feigning a yawn. Curious, Trent tried to catch her eye, but every time he got close, she would look away.
“Vin,” Trent grinned, “could you let me know what that ceremony was all about?” he asked with childish delight, laughing as Sasha turned to him with utter shock. She isn’t the only one who can play these games, he mused.
“Vin, ignore that question. I shall answer it,” Sasha declared, the game having run its course. But Trent couldn’t wipe the grin off his lips; I like this playful side of Sasha, then frowned when he recognized the affection slithering into his heart. He tried to push it away, back into its dark prison. He'd promised himself never again and even if he accepted the feelings, it didn't change the fact that she was a princess and he was a hobo.
“I guess I’ll start from the beginning,” she looked at him seriously, “while I was traveling to Planet Vn’Oco for my official ascension ceremony, I received word from Duke Zehman and about 160 other ruling nobles that the NHA Liaison to the TSB, a Sir Simwa, had been assaulted and dishonored on Earth by an evil Earthling named Trent,” she stared at him accusingly, but Trent's mood had shifted and he could only smile back weakly. Seeing her playful attempt turned away, Sasha continued, “along with Knight Capt
ain Quinn and Vice-Commander Daiyu, who assisted in this act, then falsely accused Sir Simwa of attempted murder and had him imprisoned, along with his starship.” Trent’s blood rushed to his cheeks as anger started clawing its way back to the surface, pushing past the slowly rising despair.
He already knew what Sir Simwa said they'd done, but hearing the words come from Sasha’s mouth, so matter-of-factly, made it all the worse, causing his anger to return stronger than ever before. Sasha must have picked up on his rapidly fluctuating emotions since she started slowly caressing his arm, causing some, but not all, of the rising fury to subside.
“Well,” she continued, her expression of veiled concern, “I found something amiss with his reasoning, and the facts just didn't add up. Plus, there was this sealed record of said Earthling’s enlistment trial that was supposedly impossible for me to view. Knight Captain Quinn knew of this restriction and thought of a way to forward me a copy of the record. Since your actions to save the life of Vice-Commander Daiyu were deemed heroic by the Program present, Knight Captain Quinn was able to recommend you for the Star of Terra, the highest reward for bravery in the galaxy and second only to the Emperor's Boon in the universe,” Sasha stated, pride overflowing from her every word. Trent stumbled to stop, having some difficulty grasping the meaning of what she just explained.
“It sounds like quite the honor, but...but I'm guessing this award is pretty common?” Trent knew his question sounded odd, and couldn’t fully fathom why he asked. Though quickly realized it may have been because he didn't think he had done anything special, just what anyone in his situation would have. But Sasha's expression froze in disbelief.
“No, Trent. It is actually so rare that no one has been awarded the Star of Terra since the Battle of Donlak over 400 years ago,” she squinted her eyes. “Why would you think the most prestigious award for bravery in the galaxy is common?” Sasha asked, like Trent was a young child who constantly refused to listen.
His chest tightened, knowing he had again said something wrong, proving that his emerging affection for Sasha was no longer hidden, but seeping free to allow him to be easily hurt by her anger. He sighed, deciding, as he always thought best, to be honest.
“I didn't think I did anything special,” he spoke without emotion, “just...just what anyone would do when someone's life is in danger, “ his voice trembled with the hurt that flowed from his heart. He glanced back at Sasha, who held a single hand over her mouth as she backed away, eyes wide with shock.
“Are you telling me,” her voice was muffled, “that you find it normal to put your own life in danger to save someone you barely know?”
“I never really thought about it,” his tone became hard, “but yes, I would gladly put my life on the line to save another, no matter who it is,” he finished voicing his thoughts, finding a thread of sorrow that his reliance on alcohol had kept dormant, starting to weave closer to the surface.
“Why?” she shouted. “Why would you sacrifice yourself for someone you don't even know? I don’t understand,” she stomped her foot, incredulous, since she, like everyone Trent had ever met, could not possibly understand the kindness of his heart, the kindness that had been hardened by years upon years of abuse. So he knew if he voiced his answer that Sasha would...like everyone always did... leave him in disgust. He took a deep breath, feeling the sorrow that for so long had been dormant, bursting free.
“I've always figured that since my own life meant nothing that...that if I could sacrifice it to save another, someone more worthy then me, then I would do so happily,” his confession flowed free as he backed against the wall, trembling uncontrollably. Memories returned, memories of him running...running away from the pain...running away from the truth he knew, but didn't want to accept.
How quickly things have changed, he wanted to cry, the content happiness he had felt in Sasha's presence mere moments before, turning to wretchedness, the hope, turning to complete despair.
Trent spun, preparing to run; run from the hate he knew would be in her eyes, and knew would break his very soul.
*********
His words struck her like a shockwave, knocking her into a daze. She couldn’t begin to comprehend how someone could say that their life was useless...someone that she'd suddenly realized she felt so strongly about. She'd known that he was hurt in the past, having witnessed the record of his trial. But the depth of that hurt was well beyond anything she could have possibly imagined.
Trent started backing away from her, eyes wild with fear, all rational thought having fled his mind. It’s a time of choice, Sasha, a voice whispered, you can leave him and your feeling's here, then go back to your normal life, it promised, or you can accept Trent and try to fill the gap in his heart...try to heal his wounds. She stared into his darting eyes once more and knew the decision had already been made.
As Trent turned, she rushed forward and embraced him from behind. He squirmed, trying to break free, but Sasha locked her hands, I shall never let go, she vowed
“It’s ok, Trent...everything is ok,” she soothed, but Trent resisted, “I understand, Trent...please, Trent,” she pushed, his resistance slowly fading. His knees buckled and they collapsed to the floor, Sasha tumbling with him, unwilling to let go...even for a moment.
“Please, Sasha,” he cried, “I...I don't want to be hurt anymore, I'm...I’m not the man you think I am...I'm trash, just like Sir Simwa said,” Trent's voice sounded alien, void of all emotions, just a hollow, pleading shell.
“I thought you said you'd trust me?” Sasha let her anger take control. “Or are my words no longer good enough for you!” she accused, harsher then she’d meant to, but knowing sometimes it was kinder to be harsh.
“I do, but this...this is different,” he told through gritted teeth, fighting a battle within himself, his mind in turmoil. Sasha wanted to climb within to join the fight, to wrestle him free of his demons.
“How is it different, Trent? If you don't tell me, how can I help you, please...please, Trent,” she pushed, hoping to clutch his thoughts and drag him clear of his protective shell.
“It's...it’s feelings...my feelings,” he whispered, “every time I...I let them free, I...I end up hurt,” his voice cracked, a shiver of emotion emerging, “I can't, not again, I can't go through that again...” she felt his absolute fear and hopelessness, its strength causing her to shiver uncontrollably as his skin seemed to cool. Though I’m getting through to him, she knew, I just need to push a little harder, dig a little deeper, get him to open up, then, she promised, I will do the same.
“Trent, tell me this feeling. Tell me what it is that you cannot admit. For I promise you, no matter what the emotion is, I will accept you,” Sasha's heart beat wildly as she understood what she was trying to force Trent to say, and exactly what it would do to him...and...to her. Trent’s shiver became an uncontrollable tremor, like a massive earthquake ravaged just beneath his skin. Sasha held him tighter, squeezing all her emotion, all her warmth into his flesh...then, as if his inner battle ended abruptly, he stiffened.
“Let me...me turn...turn around,” he whispered, voice faltering as if every word caused him immense pain. Sasha loosened her grip, just barely, allowing him to slowly spin to face her. When his hazel green eyes, bloodshot and puffy, stared into hers, she knew then who had won the battle. A finger brushed her flushing cheek, a light caress, a gentle touch.
“Sasha, my...my feelings for you are...” he stuttered, continuing to fight the remnants of an unseen enemy, the urge to keep his feelings hidden, locked away, openly visible as he cringed before her. She knew he needed to win, needed to express his heart. So she held his gaze, not allowing him to look away, “they are something that...that if I accept, may cause me such grief, that I may finally break completely...lose all hope...it's...” Sasha saw it beyond the sorrow...beyond the despair...beyond the fear.
“You must tell me your feelings, Trent, no matter if it causes pain now or in the future,” she urged, knowing she ne
eded to push harder, deeper, no matter the cost, “forget my titles, forget your past, they mean nothing. The only thing that matters is us, now, and how we feel. Tell me, Trent, tell me your feelings,” she pleaded, begging him to say what she already knew. He winced, cheeks flushing a deep crimson, like her words pierced his very soul, causing pain beyond reckoning. His head drooped, then slowly rose. His eyes opened, looking refreshed, reborn, and she knew who had won.
“I love you,” her heart stopped.
“I've loved you from the moment I first saw you in my dreams. The moment you emerged from the shuttle, I thought my heart would burst from the love I felt. The moment I first held you in my arms, I never wanted to let go, my love for you beyond imaging...no matter how much my mind screamed, told me to stop, that she is above you, too good for you. But it doesn't matter, none of it matters anymore. My heart loves you, my mind loves you, my body loves you, and most of all...my very soul loves you...Sasha, I love you...” he finally confessed, his words overflowing with raw emotion, of love and hate, of joy and sorrow, of hope and fear, and she froze...terrified.
She sensed this moment was coming from the first time she beheld him on that faithful day, confused and innocent. Then again, when he appeared within her dreams, she knew he was something special. And finally, when he emerged from the access port to save her, covered in dust with a look of utter fascination...and love. It had all been leading to this very moment and she knew, from the moment she started pushing him, urging him to release the feeling's she'd seen in his eyes, in his words, what she too would have to do. But now that the time had come, the time for her to face her own fears, her own past, her own demons, and accept Trent, a man, for what he was, as he would her.
The words caught in her throat, and fear crept into his eyes, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal, fear of once again having someone he loved smash his heart into tiny pieces. She had all but begged him to express his feelings, and now, she was unable to express her own. Sasha knew what it meant to be hurt, she knew the pain of being betrayed by the one you love, and she knew the fear of loving again. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, telling her mind to listen to her heart, to forget her past. She had made a decision and it was now time to act.
Alutia Rising, Anniversary Edition (Alutia Rising Series, Book 1) Page 33
