by J. H. Croix
“Morning, Holly,” she said with a wide smile. She set aside the scones she had been bagging up. “What can I get for you this morning?”
“I’ll take an Americano and an egg sandwich.”
“Coming right up.” Turning, she called over the door into the back. “Hey Daniel, mind coming out here to get an egg sandwich ready?”
The café was set up so that there was a grill visible behind the counter, while the baking happened in the back. Daniel pushed through the doors, throwing a grin my way and quickly turning to the grill.
Janet got started on my coffee, casting another smile my way before looking to the door when the bell chimed. “Hey there, Jake and Sandy,” she called.
Turning, I saw Jake Green’s parents approaching me. All through the horrible aftermath of Jake’s death in high school, they had remained fixtures in Willow Brook. Like me, they’d walked through the fire of that grief and made it out to the other side.
“Morning, Holly,” Sandy said as she tugged me close for a quick hug.
Jake winked and nodded as he caught his wife’s hand back in his. “You must have a morning shift at the hospital,” he observed.
“You got it,” I replied.
I had stayed friendly with Jake’s parents all these years. I’d known them since I was a little girl. Out of everyone in Willow Brook, they had the clearest understanding of what my relationship with Jake had been. I thanked my stars for that because I couldn’t imagine having to try to explain that to them.
Sandy brushed her dark hair back from her face, casting a smile at Janet when she turned to hand me my coffee.
“Let me guess, two coffees for you?” Janet asked.
“Of course,” Jake replied.
“Anything to eat?”
“No thanks. We’re headed to Anchorage for some errands today, and I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.”
“Everything okay?” Janet asked over her shoulder as she prepped their coffees.
“Oh yes, just a mammogram. You know how fun those are.”
Janet barked a laugh. At that moment, I heard my brother’s voice through the door as it opened, a gust of cold air blowing in with him. Lo and behold, Nate was right behind him.
Oh fuck. Alex knew nothing of what happened between Nate and me. Conveniently, our paths hadn’t crossed too much in the last week or so.
Alex must’ve heard the tail end of our conversation. His eyes flicked between me, Janet, and Sandy. Sandy shrugged and threw a wry grin his way. “Yes, you did just hear me say mammogram. It’s okay, nothing you ever have to look forward to,” she said with a little laugh. Meanwhile, Jake rolled his eyes, shaking his head.
“Um, okay then,” Alex replied.
It was rare to see my twin brother at a loss for words, especially when it came to inappropriate jokes. But this one was definitely out of his territory. I grinned. “Morning.”
The moment had been just enough to nudge me out of my self-consciousness with encountering Alex and Nate together this morning.
Nate’s eyes caught mine, the glint held within sending a curl of heat through my veins.
Oh geez. This was so fucking unfair. My body needed an off switch when it came to Nate. I was standing here with the parents of my old high school boyfriend and my twin brother who was Nate’s best friend. The entire situation should’ve thrown ice water on any desire I had for Nate.
It didn’t. Not at all.
Fuck my life.
I managed a tight smile in Nate’s direction and hoped like hell the heat I felt in my cheeks was subtle enough that no one else noticed it. Janet turned back, and I fished my wallet out of my purse as she passed the coffees to Sandy and Jake.
“I need to pay you,” I said, handing over a five.
“Gotcha.” Janet took it from me quickly and rang me up.
“Just put the change in the tip jar,” I added.
With a smile, she tossed it in, her attention turning to Nate and Alex while she rang up Jake and Sandy. Meanwhile, Daniel handed me my egg sandwich on a plate. Only minutes ago, sitting down to enjoy my coffee and breakfast in silence would have been nice. Now, I wanted to flee. There were too many confusing thoughts bouncing around in my brain, competing for space with my emotions, which were threatening to overrun everything.
Unfortunately, there was no graceful way to make it happen, especially not when Alex spoke. “Perfect, you’re going to have breakfast with me, right?” he asked.
“I guess so,” I replied, thinking there was no other good answer.
Plate and coffee in hand, I paused beside Sandy and Jake. “Good to see you two this morning. How is Clay?” I asked, referring to Jake’s younger brother.
“Oh, he’s great. He’s in Washington D.C. doing an internship,” Sandy replied, her pride evident. “We’re going to go visit him in a couple of weeks. We haven’t been to D.C. since we went as chaperones on his high school trip there.” Sandy dropped a kiss on my cheek. “Always good to see you, dear.”
I waved as they exited, turning to glance back at Alex and Nate. Alex was teasing him about something as Nate paid for their coffees. “I’ll grab a table, guys,” I said quickly, before turning and striding toward a table in the far corner by the windows.
Normally, it wouldn’t be a thing for me to run into my brother and his best friend here. Although Alex wasn’t much of a morning person, his job as a specialized mechanic often meant he was up and about early. Like me, Nate had always been an early riser. Running into him here in the morning was a fairly common occurrence and shouldn’t have affected me. Yet, being anywhere near Nate’s vicinity set me on fire inside.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he had a trip scheduled. Just seeing him had my body humming. I didn’t need to contemplate how awkward and inconvenient it was to have the hots for my brother’s best friend. It wasn’t as if this was a new state of being. The difference was I had acted on it, or rather, we had acted on it. Now, it felt quite real and much more intense than I had imagined.
I settled into a chair and took a long sip of my coffee. Slivers of light were rising above the mountains in the distance. It would be another hour or so before light claimed the darkness completely. Just in time for me to start my shift at work.
After another sip of coffee, I took a bite of my sandwich, glancing up when Nate slipped into the chair across from me. Alex was nowhere in sight. “Where’s Alex?”
“Bathroom.” He paused, his gaze dark and inscrutable as he regarded me. I wanted to kiss him, but quickly shoved that thought away. “Morning shift?”
“Yup.” The implications of my answer suddenly hit me. I had legitimately worked the last two night shifts. My work schedule had been my easy out for not seeing Nate. Since he now knew I had a day shift today, I had no convenient way to avoid seeing him tonight if he asked.
Heat flooded my belly, radiating through me. Nate took a sip of his coffee, his gaze never breaking from mine. The promise contained there set my pulse to pounding and took my breath away. My mind spun to…
At that moment, Alex arrived, effectively bringing a screeching halt to my train of thought.
Get a grip.
My internal order sounded bossy and clear, but my body was in outright revolt and ignored it entirely.
Alex hooked his hand on a chair at the table beside us, swinging it over and sitting down. “Early shift, sis?”
“Of course. Why else would I be here at this hour in my scrubs?”
Alex took a swig of his coffee and chuckled. “Point taken.”
“What’s your schedule today? You’re never up at this hour voluntarily.”
“So true. I’m handling a major repair on an engine at the airport in Anchorage, so I need an early start. I sweet-talked Nate into going with me, and maybe a double date,” Alex said, cutting his gaze to Nate.
Conversation along these lines between my brother and Nate had happened many a time in my presence. Until the last year or so, I’d never thought much of it. Now, hot jealousy shot
through me, and anxiety churned in my gut.
Note to self: this is why you never should’ve let anything happen with Nate.
I couldn’t help it, but my eyes slid to Nate. I forced myself to look away just as quickly, glancing out the window, praying that none of my feelings showed on my face.
“Dude, I already told you I’m not spending the night. I’m definitely not up for a date. You’re flying solo,” Nate said.
Oh my God. This was awful. I wanted to ask what any of this meant. We hadn’t spoken about what had happened between us. Not that I blamed Nate for that. I sure as hell didn’t want to talk about it, not when I couldn’t form a coherent thought when it came to him and my feelings. Layering into the awkwardness was the extremely inconvenient audience of my brother.
I took a big bite of my egg sandwich, pouring my muddled emotions into chewing furiously.
Alex shrugged easily. “Fine, man, your loss. What’s the deal with you, though? Haven’t you noticed he’s off his game? It’s like he’s sworn off women,” Alex said, directing his observation to me.
Taking a gulp of my coffee, I shrugged because that was about all I had to offer on this topic. Alex rolled his eyes and I took another bite of my sandwich, willing myself not to look at Nate. I resolved not to let anything else happen between us because these kinds of conversations were going to continue to suck. Regardless of why he was saying no to Alex’s offer of a double date—whatever the hell that meant—I was under no illusions that he took anything between us seriously.
Somehow, I managed to get through the rest of that rather awkward and miserable few minutes. Seeing as neither Alex nor Nate knew precisely when I was supposed to show up at the hospital, as soon as I finished my sandwich, I stood. “Gotta go, guys. Have a good trip to Anchorage. Catch you later.”
I didn’t wait, slinging my purse over my shoulder and hurrying out. Just as I was about to reach my car, I heard footsteps behind me, a subtle crunch on the packed snow in the parking lot.
“Holly.”
The sound of Nate’s voice in the cold, quiet winter morning sent a jolt through me. I was spinning inside, caught in a riptide of emotion, self-judgment, and confusion, all of it mingling with that initial surge of desire. I so wanted to ignore him, but I knew I couldn’t quite get away with it. Taking a steadying breath, I stopped beside my car and glanced back. “Yeah?”
He had closed the distance between us. One more stride, and he was immediately in front of me. The force of his presence was potent. It was cold, and he emanated warmth. I didn’t say anything, mostly because I didn’t quite trust myself.
“None of that was my idea,” he said, his gaze intent.
I felt as if he was trying to see right through me. Not that it would’ve mattered if he could. I couldn’t make any sense of my own feelings. There was a jostle of emotion and reason bouncing all over the place inside.
I shrugged. When he didn’t say anything else, I felt compelled to fill the silence. “It’s no big deal. It’s not like you owe me an explanation,” I finally said.
Something flickered in his gaze. Through the wispy gray of the winter dawn, I couldn’t see into his eyes very well. I also didn’t trust my own perception, not when it was colored by a mess of emotions.
“I do owe you an explanation. I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t for—” He paused, leaning his head back to look up into the sky. When he leveled his gaze with mine again, the air misted with his sigh. “I haven’t seen anybody since before last Halloween.”
His words hit me right in the solar plexus. That was months ago now. Halloween had been the night of the fundraiser. My mouth opened and closed. I felt like a damn fish.
His lips curled at one corner, and he shrugged. “You’re my priority.”
“Huh?”
Brilliant, Holly.
I elected to ignore my ever-ready critical voice.
His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “Okay, I’m going to give it to you straight. I can imagine you have your reasons for thinking otherwise, but this is far more than just sex for me. I want you. In every way.”
His words were low, his gaze resolved. My heart banged inside my chest, trying to break free from the cage of my ribs. I shook my head, because I didn’t quite believe it, nor did I know how to react to any of this.
The door to Firehouse Café opened across the parking lot. Alex was stepping out, his back to us as he spoke to someone inside.
Nate stepped to me, bending low and pressing his lips to mine. The kiss was brief and electrifying. The contrast of the icy morning air and the feel of his lips against mine was so sharp, pleasure pierced through me. Panic followed swiftly because when I looked up, Alex had turned. I didn’t know what he had seen.
Nate shrugged, his eyes searching mine as he straightened. “I don’t care what Alex thinks. You shouldn’t either. This is between you and me.”
For a woman who wasn’t usually at a loss for words, this moment did it. All I could do was stare at him.
“Go to work,” he said softly, reaching past me to open the door to my car.
Despite my mental haze, I had tapped the remote start button in the café before I walked out. A blast of heat hit me as the car door opened.
“I’ll be by tonight,” Nate said, his voice low enough for no one but me to hear it.
Somehow, I climbed in my little car, and Nate closed the door behind me. I watched as he turned to walk toward Alex, where their trucks were parked, side by side. Alex waved and then they drove away, with Nate following Alex.
What the hell just happened here?
Chapter Twenty
Nate
“What the hell is going on with you and my sister?” Alex demanded, slamming the door shut behind him as we entered the large plane hangar.
I was damn surprised Alex had made it this long without asking me anything about Holly. When she practically ran out of Firehouse Café this morning, I had said to hell with it in my mind and followed her. I wasn’t going to let her go through the day assuming that I was even remotely interested in dating anyone else.
I knew I was taking a chance, one that might piss Holly off more than anyone. I didn’t give a damn if Alex was pissed off at me. I would deal with it.
He stopped walking, turning to face me. No one else was around. Two small planes sitting in the hangar were our only audience. Metal walls and concrete made for an echoing space.
I met his gaze head-on. “What do you mean?”
I didn’t mind the confrontation. In fact, I knew it had to come at some point. Might as well get it over with. I wouldn’t have minded more time to figure out just how much to say to my best friend about the fact I was on the way to being in love with his twin sister.
Alex cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. “You know exactly what I mean. I saw you kiss her this morning. She was tense as hell at breakfast. She’s not gonna tell me, so you better.”
“I’m not sure yet,” I finally said. “But I’d like to see where things go.”
“Fuck,” Alex muttered. “You can’t fuck my sister over. You don’t get serious with anyone.”
“I’m not gonna fuck Holly over. I wouldn’t do that.”
“What, you’re in love with her?”
His words dripped with sarcasm, and I almost flinched. He had every right to assume I wanted nothing more than some fun between the sheets. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely wanted to lose myself in Holly again and again and again, but there was a hell of a lot more than that when it came to how I felt about Holly.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to say that, but I’d like a chance to see what happens.”
“Fuck,” Alex repeated, spinning away from me and striding toward the closest plane to kick his boot against the tire. “Does she know this?”
“I’ve tried to make it clear, but I’m not sure what she wants.”
Alex circled back, striding right up to me. “Do not fuck her over. I will kick your ass.”<
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“I know,” I said, trying to keep my calm. It wasn’t that I didn’t expect this from Alex, but it chafed to be faced with his assumptions. “I promise you, this isn’t just a fling to me.”
Alex stepped back, rolling his head from side to side as if to ease the tension in his neck and shoulders. When he looked back to me, he shook his head slowly. “I knew you had a thing for her back in high school. I guess I figured you’d moved on.”
“I did, and I didn’t.”
Alex stared at me, his gaze considering. After a long silence, a heavy one at that, he shook his head again. “You mean to tell me you’ve had a thing for my twin sister for fucking years?”
Leaning my head back, I stared up at the corrugated metal roof above, my eyes tracing the lines of the steel beams. Leveling my gaze with Alex again, I shrugged. “I don’t know how to describe it. Before you go thinking I was sitting around pining for her, that’s not what it was. So yeah, I had a thing for her in high school, but…”
My words trailed off because I didn’t quite know how to explain the rest. I wasn’t about to tell Alex that Holly had been the main star in most of my fantasies since high school. I wouldn’t say I had been hung up on her, more that I once had a thing for her, a pretty messy event got in the way, and I moved on. Now… well, now things were different.
Alex picked up the thread for me. “Life got in the way, in a big way. That accident hit a lot of us hard. Not that you’re asking, but Holly was never in love with Jake. Mostly, they started dating because Caleb and Ella were together all the damn time.” Alex looked away, taking a deep breath and bouncing his heel against the plane tire behind him.
When he looked back, his gaze was dead serious. “Look, Holly would kick my fucking ass if I tried to pull the whole overprotective brother shit on her, so I’m not going to interfere. Unless…” He paused, lifting a finger and pointing it straight at me. “Unless you fuck her over. Obviously, I would tell any friend of ours that if they were looking for something serious with you, they needed to look in a different direction. If this is what Holly wants, it’s her business, but don’t fuck with her.”
