by Leah Vale
"I..." She stopped to clear her throat, keeping her attention on Nathan. "I imagine you would know a lot about debutantes. Just like I'm sure you know a lot about fancy tests. And lawyers." Her voice shook nearly as much as her hands.
Harrison felt consumed with remorse. He wanted so much to have her trust back. She had trusted him infinitely that day two years ago. So much so she'd given herself completely to him. Insanely, he wanted to see the warm glow back in her beautiful brown-gold eyes. No one had ever looked at him like she had, before or since. She had made him feel like there was nothing he couldn't do, nothing he couldn't handle. She had freed him of his burdens with a simple touch of her hand and the welcoming fire of her body. His own tightened and throbbed at the memory.
Shaking the memories off, he squeezed her hand. "You don't have to be afraid of me, Juliet."
"You've probably dated a ton of debutantes, haven't you?"
"That would be an exaggeration." He hadn't dated at all since his mother's death.
"But you know some, right?"
She tried to pull her hand from beneath his. He wouldn't let her. She wasn't going to push him away this time. For some inexplicable reason he wanted to find that place they had shared when they'd first met, if only for a moment. He wanted her to look at him without judgment or speculation again. He started rubbing the pad of his thumb over the satiny skin on the back of her hand, taking wicked pleasure in the way she shifted in her seat. Nathan responded by rocking back and forth and humming while he ate.
The fact that she had asked him something finally registered. "Somewhat?"
She glanced up at him, her expression telling him exactly what she thought of his mental capabilities. "Debutantes. You know some debutantes, don't you?"
"Oh. Yes, I suppose. My sister, Ashley, was one. That's how I know it's not so great."
Juliet drew her finely arched brows together. "She didn't like it?"
He scratched his emerging beard with his free hand. "Well, actually, Ashley loved it. But that's Ashley. She's into that sort of thing. I personally thought what she had to go through-the parties, the virtual stock shows-was rather degrading."
She rolled her eyes. "Gee, parties. How awful." Then her mouth and delicate brow tightened. "I'm sure she was more than a little surprised to find out you'd gone slumming."
He squeezed her hand harder, then slipped his thumb beneath her hand so he could stroke her palm. He found her skin moist there. "I did not go slumming. I was... searching for...something."
She looked at him, her expression unreadable but for the fierceness in her glittering eyes. "And you found me."
The possessiveness and his physical need for her surged again. He pulled her hand toward him. "Yes. I found you."
"Lucky me."
He nearly flinched from her sarcasm, but stared hard into her eyes, willing her to understand. "But now I'm back, ready to be a father to our son. And I am his father." He needed her to reiterate her earlier declaration, to make sure she hadn't changed her mind.
"Yes. You are," she said with what Harrison at first thought was a wistful tone, but decided it must have been resignation.
Her acceptance of the situation was exactly what he needed to regain control of himself. He let go of her hand and leaned back, releasing anoisy breath. "Good. I'm glad we have that settled." He looked to his son on her lap. The little guy was covered from ear to ear with Cheez Whiz. Harrison smiled and reached a finger to wipe a glob off Nathan's cheek, then tasted it. "Hmm. Not bad. Does he ever actually eat the crackers?"
"Sometimes." She smiled back, relaxing the rigidity of her back a bit. "Mostly he just likes to lick the cheese off."
Nathan confirmed his preference by chanting, '"Eeze, 'eeze, 'eeze."
Harrison leaned forward again. "I'd love to learn what else he likes. Will you let me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Damn it, Juliet-"
She held up a hand to stop his tirade before he could get started. "All right. I'm sorry. And watch your language around you-know-who."
Harrison took another deep breath to loosen the vise grip that seized his gut the second she'd made him think they had taken three steps backward toward hostility. "Of course."
He watched them for a moment, his heart swelling with an intense sort of satisfaction he'd never experienced before, not even in the boardroom. He reached out and smoothed the brow Nathan had raised at his outburst. Nathan handed him a slobbery cracker, and his heart nearly exploded.
Despite how much he wanted them out of this place, Harrison knew he still needed to tread carefully. After the upset of today, tomorrow would definitely be soon enough to ask her to move to the estate. "Can I see you two tomorrow?"
"See us tomorrow?" she squeaked. "I figured you'd just call when you said we'd talk tomorrow. Don't you have a megacorporation to run?"
Harrison shifted in the too-small seat. He didn't want to scare her off by talking about his world, but he knew he needed to gain a small measure of her trust by opening up to her. "Yes, I do. Sort of."
"What do you mean sort of? Willie's friend said you'd taken over for your dad."
"He's still CEO and chairman of the board. I'm only president."
"Only president." She laughed softly, flashing her straight, white teeth.
He responded instantly with an irrational amount of pleasure. Damn, but she was beautiful. Sitting there with wind-tousled hair and not a bit of makeup, she was the very embodiment of natural beauty. She didn't need Coco Chanel or pearls to look good. All she had to do was be.
Suddenly an image of Juliet lying naked on a moss-softened rock down by the water flashed in his brain. He could imagine how the river's breath would gently lift her long hair and tighten her breasts like his hands would. Her sighs of pleasure would mingle with the sounds of the river just as her tears had.
The thought of her tears, and the fact that he had caused them, snapped him out of the fantasy like a slap to the face.
He cleared his throat and focused again on explaining his father to her. "He's going to retire soon, so it won't be long before I really will have an entire mega corporation to run."
She rested her chin atop Nathan's head, a curious look in her gold-flecked eyes. "Aren't you nervous about being totally in charge of so much?"
Having been asked the same question numerous times by members of the board, what was now his stock answer came quickly. "Not at all. Since I've been president I have never made a mistake. My judgment is sound. I can handle the company on my own."
"Never said you couldn't," she softly assured him.
Harrison tried to stem the tension creeping up the back of his neck by rubbing it. The opposition to his plans for the Dover Creek Mill was really getting to
him, despite his best efforts. "Then you're one of a few. Apparently the members of the board don't think I'm old enough or 'tempered' enough to be in charge."
"Then you'll just have to prove them wrong," she said with quiet confidence.
Nathan babbled something around a cracker that sounded an awful lot like concurrence.
Harrison refused to acknowledge the warmth that flooded through him because of her faith in his abilities. It was one thing to be flooded by the heat of desire, but to need her approval would make him as vulnerable as his father had been. He couldn't let that happen.
"Is your dad that old? I mean, retirement age?"
"No, he's not. Not at all. But he hasn't been the same since my mom died. He needs to go off and find something that will make him happy again."
She lifted her chin from Nathan's head and sat back in her seat. "Like you did?"
He looked away, wishing he'd phrased his dad's reasons for retiring differently. But Harrison's time with Juliet had allowed him to return to his life, to get past his grief. Yet wanting to downplay the importance of that time and his vulnerability where she was concerned, he gave a slight shrug. "I guess."
An uncomfortable awareness crackled between them. S
he had to be thinking of how he had practically clung to her after they had made love, unwilling to release her from his embrace and sacrifice the haven he'd found in her. Then Nathan reached up and stuck a goopy finger in her ear with a squeal of delight and distracted her from whatever she might have been reliving.
Despite the additional surge of warmth her laugh at their son's antics sent through him, he vowed to prove to her that he didn't need that haven anymore. He might want to have her in his arms, but he didn't need her. He simply wanted to make her life better for Nathan's sake. Lust could be controlled, he reminded himself.
Harrison decided it was time to get back to the subject at hand. "So...I'll come back tomorrow." When she hesitated, he compromised as much as he was willing to and added. "I'll call first."
"Tomorrow," she agreed in a near whisper. "But we'll have to figure out a schedule. Schedules are very important to toddlers."
"Schedules are a very good thing," he agreed, his heart soaring. He'd have them out of here before the end of the week. He'd known she would be reasonable if they had a chance to talk. "I also promise to always have you two back here in time for his nap or bedtime-whichever applies."
She frowned again, her hand stilling in the process of wiping the gooeymess from Nathan's face. "What do you mean, have us back? You aren't taking us anywhere."
Harrison placed his hands on the table and forced himself to stay calm."I assumed I would take you- both of you-home to meet my family, to play at my house."
Suspicion rolled off her in waves. "Why?"
"So you and Nathan can get to know me and my family, see where and how I live." He tried to sound casual, but getting her home to see how much better her life could be at the estate was critical to convincing her to move there.
"No." She pushed her chair back, its metal legs scraping on the floor, and stood. Hoisting Nathan onto her hip, she pronounced, "You can visit Nathan, and get to know him, but he's not stepping a foot into your house."
Harrison sat back in his chair and unconsciously assumed his best boardroom pose, arms stretched to their full length with his hands spread on the table. His first instinct was to get angry with her for being uncooperative again. But he rationalized that as long as he got to spend time with her, she'd get to know him and see that he would be a good, responsible influence on their son. Then she would allow him to improve both their lives by moving them out of this place.
And maybe, just maybe, he'd discover why she pulled at him, why she'd haunted him for over two damn years. Then he would be able to put an end to it.
He raised a hand and slapped it back down on the table. "Agreed."Mentally adding, For now.
Nathan smiled at the noise and leaned forward in his mother's arms in an attempt to slap the table himself.
Juliet's jaw visibly tightened as if she was fighting to keep it from dropping. Clearly she'd expected Harrison to balk at the idea.
Think again, sweetheart.
He rose from the table and stepped toward Juliet to tweak their son's nose. "I'll see you soon, Nat. You be a good boy for your mamma."
"Liclic!" Nathan squealed and pointed a cheesy finger at Harrison's pant leg.
Harrison glanced at his slacks and grinned when he saw the faint, reddish stain left by his first encounter with his son. "He remembers getting his licorice stuck on my leg. Do you have some in the store I could buy for him?"
Juliet shook her head decisively. "He's had enough sweets today. He needs to go back to bed."
With a disappointed sigh for missing an opportunity to bond with his son, he looked into Nathan's hopeful, dark-green eyes. "Sorry, buddy. Daddy's clean out of licorice."
"Dada liclic," Nathan pleaded, reaching his little arms to Harrison.
His eyes burning and his throat tight, Harrison reached for his son.
Juliet held him fast to her chest, her eyes huge with dread.
Certain that his time with his son would come, Harrison chucked him on his tiny cleft chin. "Next time, little man. Next time." Looking to Juliet, he smiled gently. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."
But as Harrison walked out through the disorganized living room, he noticed Willie asleep atop a pile of laundry dumped on the couch. He continued through the tidier but sorely understocked store and became certain there was only one way everything would ever be fine with him.
He had to bring Nathan and Juliet home with him for good. And quick.
She'd admitted it.
She'd admitted Harrison Rivers was Nathan's father. The words hadactually left her mouth after she'd vowed they never would. Julietcouldn't help but wonder what other vows she'd break now that Harrison was a part of her life.
She tried not to think about what she'd done. She really did. But Nathan's chant of "Dada liclic, Dada liclic," while she washed the cheese and crackers off him and readied him for bed again made it impossible. She squeezed her little boy to her chest one last time before laying him back down in his crib.
Pulling the quilt over Nathan, she responded by rote with a "Yes night-night" to each of his yawned "No night-night."
Not only had she admitted what she'd sworn she wouldn't, she'd agreed to let Harrison visit. To get to know Nathan. To fall in love with Nathan. And her baby would fall for Harrison. He might even come to love his father more than he loved her.
She squeezed her eyes tight against the pain in her heart, thinking of the way Harrison's rumbling laugh, gentle touch and warm eyes had reached inside and touched her. Two years ago he had made her feel special and importantwithin five minutes of meeting him. And he'd done it again tonight when he’d placed her feelings and opinions above those of her family.
Yeah, her baby would fall in love with his father. He wouldn't be able to help himself. Just as she hadn't been able to help herself.
Maybe if she stayed close she could minimize the damage. And she'd be spending time with Harrison. Juliet pushed the thought away. She refused to go down that road. She'd fought so hard to bury her feelings for the man who had roared into her life for a few glorious hours, and she wasn't about to let them worm their way to the surface now. Not when she could never have a place in his life as anything but Nathan's mother.
No, she'd stay close to father and son and make sure Harrison didn't try to make Nathan want to leave her to live with him.
An oppressive, smothering weight settled on her chest. It was the same feeling she'd had when Willie had held her underwater while they were swimming in the river one summer. She would drown without Nathan in her life.
The need to cling to him like a life preserver made her reach into the crib and pick up the drowsy toddler again. Thankfully, he didn't squirm in protest when she pulled him tight to her chest. Maybe he understood how much she needed him. And maybe, just maybe, she could make Harrison understand, too.
The cracked, uneven cement burned the bottoms of Juliet's feet. She should have put shoes on. Shoot. Barefoot and "ignant," that's how they'd see her. But she didn't want to run in and grab her shoes and risk their visitors showing up and coming in before she could stop them.
Lord, what had she been thinking agreeing to his coming today? And it wouldn't be just Harrison. He'd said that since she wouldn't go to meet them, he was bringing his family to meet her and Nat.
His family. Great. Since hanging up the phone this morning all she could imagine was a line of luxury sedans-no, limos-pulling off the highway, filled with Kennedy wannabes who would refuse to sit on her furniture for fear of being "soiled." That's why she stood out in front of the store, roasting in the early September sun, instead of waiting inside. She didn't want them to see the inside. The outside of the place was bad enough.
She risked a glance away from the highway to check on Nathan playing beneath the willow tree at the corner of the store. Heaven forbid he would actually sit on the huge blue blanket she'd spread out in the shade. But the fact that she wanted him clean and looking nice naturally meant he'd find the first chance to sit in the dirt. Man.
Barefoot, "ignant," and dirty. That's how they would see her and Nathan.
She looked back to the highway and mentally gauged how long it would take her to run upstairs and grab her Keds. Her guests would probably pick that moment to show up and see Nat sitting out here by himself. She'd purposefully scheduled this visit for when her mom went to town, and she'd convinced Willie to go help his friend Dave work on his car. If Harrison's family arrived while she was inside they'd think she was a bad mother.
Of course, then she would only be "ignant," dirty and inattentive, because she'd have her shoes on.
The decision was made for her, though, when a black Mercedes sedan appeared within view. It had to be Harrison. Juliet held her breath, but no limousines followed him into the parking lot.
Not so much as a Caddie.
Hope soared within her. Maybe his family hadn't wanted to meet the heir apparent's mistake.
That hope crashed and her cheeks flamed when she saw more than one head inside the car. But instead of the brimming carload she expected, only two other people had come with Harrison. Two women from what she could tell. One of them was probably his debutante sister coming for a look-see, Juliet thought sourly.
When Harrison brought the car to a stop in front of her, she could see that the person in the passenger seat had gray hair, and a blonde sat in back. While clearly different in ages, both women were equally well coifed, sporting stylish, blunt cuts. Harrison's debutante sister and grandmother?
A touch of relief cooled Juliet's cheeks. Maybe his sister would be too self-absorbed and his grandma too doddering to realize Juliet and Harrison's relationship wasn't exactly noble and romantic.
The car doors swung open and Harrison, wearing a beige, long-sleeved polo shirt and black pants, met her gaze with warm, smiling eyes as he got out.
Juliet's cheeks flared again.
He really looked happy to be here, as though he couldn't wait to introduce their son to the women preparing to climb from the other side of the car.
"Hello, there," Harrison said in his rich, deep voice. "I see you're as anxious to show off Nathan as I am." He put words to her thoughts and smiled as he went around the front of the car to offer his help to the older woman.
