by JJ Knight
Colt pulls my legs from around him and drops me to the bed. He’s out of his clothes in an instant, his hands and mouth going for every part of me that’s missed him.
His fingers press inside me as his lips close over a breast. I can’t stand it, I’m so in need of him. His hard length is pressed against my thigh, and I reach for him. I close my fingers around him. I’ve missed this so much.
He leans over me for a kiss, his tongue parting my lips. I feast on him, greedy, wanting to urge him forward.
His fingers play with my nub, and my body writhes beneath him. I draw my knees up and around him, trying to pull him into me.
“The condom,” he whispers against my cheek. “I can’t wait.”
“I got on the Pill,” I say. “Unless you need to protect me from something else.”
With a growl he lifts his body over me, fingers spreading me wide. He thrusts inside me in a single stroke. I cry out from the unexpected bliss of feeling his skin directly inside mine. It’s like a vow of trust.
That first urge sated, Colt slows us down. His hands are on my head, smoothing my hair. “My Jo, my Jo,” he says, over and over again. There’s a note of longing in it, and something inside me cracks.
“I’m right here,” I say. I get it now. We both went through the same thing, thinking the other was lost.
His movements are long and deep. I lift my hips to meet him. My hands hold on to his shoulders, his muscles flexing beneath my grip. He trails a finger along my body, neck to belly. “You’re even stronger,” he says. “You’ve trained.” His eyes close. “You’re more beautiful than I remember.”
Emotion floods through me. I want to tell him how I love him. I want to express everything, lay myself bare. His eyes find mine, and I see that he knows. That he feels so much too. He kisses me, and I’m reeling, my body pressing up against his. His strokes grow faster again.
The need builds, and Colt’s breathing speeds up. I hear myself whimper as I begin to peak. It’s all mixed together, the love and passion and pleasure. I crash over the top, the waves of orgasm spreading wide. Colt lets go and releases into me. I’m shocked by the hot warmth that fills me. It’s so different, so real, like he’s left a part of himself inside me.
He relaxes, and my arms come around his back. His lips are hot against my hair. I want to memorize every contour of his body, to know each muscle. I feel a single tear trickle from my eye and realize for the first time that you don’t always have to cry from misery. The opposite of grief and struggle is just as powerful and intense. Tears can be for happiness, and you can shed them out of love.
I am utterly in love.
Chapter Twelve
The third morning I wake up with Colt in my bed feels just as miraculous as the first two. This time, though, he’s awakened before me. His eyes are almost pure green in the morning light, and sparkling with mischief.
“About time,” he says, and leans down to kiss me. “I was about to fondle you out of your dreams.”
I smile. “Then I might just have to play possum,” I say, and shut my eyes.
He growls and shoves his face into my neck, tickling me with teasing bites.
“Hey, hey!” I can’t stop giggling. “Stop!”
He props up on one arm. “You awake now?”
I punch his chest, then hold my hand there, admiring the smooth skin. “Why? You have something else planned?”
“I do.” He lifts his other arm then, and something sparkles from his fingers.
It takes me a moment to focus in on it, then I sit up fast. “Oh my God! Is that…?” My eyes spark instantly with tears. The green frog swings back and forth on the end of a chain.
“I hope so, or I paid a lot of money for a really ugly piece of jewelry.”
I snatch it from his hands. It’s my grandmother’s necklace. The one I sold at a pawn shop weeks and weeks ago. The day I met Colt.
“How did you find it? The owner said he sold it.”
“Zero told me about it way back when I was still at Buster’s. I went to the shop, and let’s say I strongly encouraged the man to cough up the name of the woman who bought it.”
I fight the tears. “I can’t believe it. Oh my God.” I can’t stop looking at it. “I thought it was gone forever. I thought you were gone forever.”
“We figured it out.” He holds my head against his shoulder. “I’ll get a phone that isn’t any part of the family or the business. A totally separate account. I’ll put both of us on it. I just didn’t think they’d go that far.”
Suddenly I remember something. “They blocked Zero too.”
Colt frowns. “You know, I haven’t heard from Buster either. Probably he’s been cut out as well.” His arm tightens around me. “This is too much. Too far.”
I look up at him. “What are you going to do?”
His jaw tenses. “I’m going to clean house. Hire my own people. I’m not part of my father’s entourage any longer.”
I sit up. “But he’s your dad.”
“He can see me at Thanksgiving and Christmas, like regular dads.” He sighs. “I don’t know. I’m talking out of my ass right now.” He pulls me hard against him again. “We’ll take this one day at a time.”
“Thank you for the necklace.”
“I’m glad I got to give it to you myself. I kept it with my bike. I intended to leave it with Buster.” He fingers one of my braids. “Your hair isn’t so red anymore.”
“It faded out.”
“I like it your normal color.”
I swallow hard. “I saw Brittany got her contract. Are you still engaged?”
“I think she can manage on her own now.” He looks down at me. “You saying you want to claim me in public?”
I hesitate. “Not yet. Soon, maybe?”
He laughs. “I wouldn’t claim me either.”
I sit back. “It’s not that.”
I don’t know how to say this, how Colt will take it. “I heard you were winning. Really winning.”
He watches me carefully. “I have done a little better the last few matches.”
“You don’t think it’s funny that I go away and you win?”
He reaches for my hand to squeeze it. “I think I just got my head back on straight, that’s all.”
I want to believe him. “I had my first fight,” I say.
His grip gets tighter. “You did?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I’ve been cut off from the world. And I tried to avoid Buster’s. Tell me everything. Who? What happened?”
“Mad Mary Mercury. I think the footage is online.”
“Did you kill her?”
I smile. “Kind of.”
Colt jumps from the bed. “Where’s my phone? I have to see this.”
He digs around for his pants and extracts his phone. After a quick search online, we lie side by side to watch. But when the video begins, he pauses it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“What for?”
“I should have been there. I wanted to be there for your first fight.” His eyes have gone dark. “I missed it. I can’t believe I wasn’t there.”
I lay my head on his shoulder. “I fought like you were watching,” I say. “It’s the only way I could do it.”
He kisses my hair. “Well, let’s see how you did.”
We laugh at the video as I head up the cage stairs, nervous and timid. Our heads press together, and I hope that this is the only time I’ll ever have to fight alone.
Chapter Thirteen
Colt takes me to breakfast at the diner where Zero works. I think Zero’s head is going to pop off his shoulders when he sees us together, he’s straining his neck that hard. Then he spots the necklace.
“You got it!” He fingers the frog pendant. “Prince Charming came through!” Then he takes a step back. “Wait a minute. He ditched you.” Zero narrows his eyes at Colt.
“We had some cell-phone mismanage
ment,” Colt says. “We’re taking care of it this afternoon.”
Zero seems to consider this as he leads us to a booth by the front windows. “If Jo Jo’s happy, I’m happy. This calls for some sugar for breakfast!” He looks at me. “French toast with extra strawberries? Jo’s favorite!”
“Oh, I’m training,” I say.
“Bring two,” Colt says with a wink. “We’ll burn it off this afternoon.”
My face flushes red.
“Oh, you silly lovebirds,” Zero says. “Two French toasts, coming up.”
We hold hands on top of the table. Across the street, Buster unlocks the front door of the gym. “You supposed to work today?” Colt asks.
“No,” I say. “We switched my schedule since I’m fighting now.”
“You have another one set up?” he asks.
“Not for another week.” I hesitate. “I heard you have your first public fight coming up.”
Colt nods. “Yes, Mulligan McGee.”
“You’re going back on circuit?”
He rubs his thumbs along the backs of my hands. “Had to. UFC won’t let you sit out too long. It was go back on the title run or let someone claim my spot.”
“What happens if you lose?”
“Sponsors might go. Hard to say.”
I stare out the window at the front of Buster’s. “You’ll keep training in Santa Barbara?”
He lets go of my hands and sits back in the booth. “I don’t know anything right now. I can’t believe the team really thought you were so big a problem that they should meddle with my phone accounts.”
“Your dad was pretty convinced.” I hesitate, but then I just say it. “When I was in that limo, he tried to pay me off.” I remember the bruised-cherry conversation and flush with anger.
Colt smashes his fist on the table, rattling the silverware. “He did what?”
“He tried to write me a check for ten thousand dollars, if I would leave.”
“Is that why you jumped?” His face is dark with anger.
“It was either that or stab him with his own pen.” I reach across the table for him. “It didn’t work. I didn’t take it. It was a stupid ploy.”
Colt squeezes my fingers with a force that might have hurt anybody else, but my hands are tough. “That man just keeps adding to his list of shitty behaviors.”
He realizes how hard he’s gripping me and lets go. “He ditched his first wife when his mistress got pregnant with me, a boy. He only had daughters up until then.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, he’s a real winner.” Colt frowns. “There’s an unauthorized biography out there somewhere. He tried to buy all the copies, but that only made it a best seller, and they made more.”
I pick up a napkin and twirl it around my finger. I’m nervous just talking about his father. “Sounds like he tries to control a lot of things.”
“I don’t think Buster’s was the right place for me. My father sent me there for all the wrong reasons.” He leans forward and takes my hand again. “But I’m grateful he did.”
“If you train in Santa Barbara, we won’t see each other much.” My heart hammers at what he’ll say to that.
Colt frowns. “I know. Let me figure this out.”
Zero arrives with the French toast. “Crazy busy in here!” Still, he leans in as he sets the plates down. “You bringing lover boy to my show tonight?”
Before I can answer, he stands up straight. “Of course you are! I’ll add him to the guest list.”
He rushes off again.
Colt raises an eyebrow. “A show?”
“Another drag thing.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“It’s not too public. Probably no paparazzi to out us.” I stare at my plate. I’m not sure I can eat. Everything feels so unsettled.
Colt reaches over to touch my cheek. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll pick up two new phones this afternoon, Colt and Jo phones. And we’ll agree that I will come over to your place, or to Buster’s, if we lose contact.”
“Okay.”
“It won’t happen again, Jo. I promise.”
I manage a smile. While I’m happy we’ve found each other again, I can’t fight the gnawing feeling that the trouble isn’t over yet.
Chapter Fourteen
I am wrong about the paparazzi.
A few famous actors decide to attend Zero’s show. Zero frantically sends me nervous texts on my new phone. Apparently they are doing a movie about a drag queen and have been attending local shows as research. Zero has already sent in an application to be an extra. He thinks he can impress them enough to mention his name to the casting director.
When Colt and I arrive in the chauffeured Mercedes, the photographers assume we are important and start snapping shots the minute the driver opens the door.
I try not to trip in the fancy shoes. After getting our phones, Colt and I went shopping for a dress. When he figured out I was the girl in the emerald gown in the bathroom at the last drag show, he wanted to see me in that color again.
My dress is simple, a wraparound that ties at the waist. It’s satiny and brilliant green. I feel like a fairy sprite in it, and the flowing hem tickles my knees. I balked at high heels, but a pair of strappy green shoes are delicate enough to be girlish. A charcoal cashmere wrap tops it off. The price of the outfit scared me. Months of rent for me, but Colt didn’t even blink at the number.
After a few shots, most of the photographers realize we are not the actors they want and turn away. But as luck would have it, one of them recognizes us.
“Isn’t that Colt McClure?” he asks.
Flashes start popping again.
Colt grabs my hand and hurries us up the walk. But the problem photographer steps in front of us. “Is that Kettle Belle? I took your picture the day Colt got engaged to that other woman.”
“Back off,” Colt says.
“Does this mean your engagement is off?” the guy asks. “Or do you get girls on the side?”
I have a bad feeling Colt is going to haul off and punch him. “Let’s go,” I whisper, and pull him forward.
When we’re safely inside, Colt taps out a quick text message to Brittany. “I just need to give her the heads up so she isn’t blindsided,” he says.
I didn’t want to be outed so fast. We should have skipped out as soon as Zero told us about the actors. I tug at the wrap, wishing I hadn’t come.
When Colt sees my distress, he pulls me in close. Around us, the foyer is bustling with people — men in ball gowns, makeup artists lugging boxes of supplies, and wait staff shepherding guests to the tables.
“I’m not going to hide you anymore,” he says. “We’re in this together. I can date my Kettle Belle if I want to.”
A tall performer in an exquisite Victorian costume and a powdered wig that adds another foot to his height steps out of a side door, waving a lace fan.
I recognize him as soon as I see his face. Angel Wild, the man with the stalker crush on Zero. He and I had a little argument in the men’s bathroom at another show when he thought I was dating his great love.
Angel spots something behind me that makes him flutter his fan even faster. I’m pretty sure I know who it is.
I turn around. Zero is behind us, but he doesn’t even see me. His eyes are on Angel.
I glance between them. Something is happening here. Zero is also in period costume. It must be the theme of the show. He looks like a madam from a brothel, cinched into a shiny corset with a puff of fabric popping out above it where his cleavage would have been.
He also wears a wig, shiny and yellow-gold in fat round rolls that are pinned in place. Big sausage curls fall around the base of his neck. He’s beautiful and arresting, with long black lashes. Vivid red lips accent his caramel skin.
Zero takes two steps forward, the miles of fabric of his skirt flowing with the movement. Angel also heads toward him, like they are in a choreographed dance. Colt pulls me out of the way as they stride to eac
h other in slow motion. The other bystanders also pause. The scene is dramatic, and no one is sure if it is real or part of the show.
When they make it to the center of the room, Angel dips into a curtsy, careful to keep his head and wig straight. Zero matches his movement. The tension between them is electric. Angel’s face is uncertain as he extends a gloved hand. Zero hesitates. He seems to notice the crowd finally and looks around. I realize this is not part of the show at all.
Zero sees me, and I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. I thread my arm through Colt’s and nod. Zero looks at us another moment and turns back to Angel. He lays his black glove on top of Angel’s, and they leave together for the main showroom. The crowd claps.
“I remember them from the last show,” Colt says. “Zero is really good.”
We move toward the tables to find our seats. I think about how different this event is from the last one, where I sat in the back, nervous and anxious to watch Colt with Brittany. And I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
Chapter Fifteen
Sunday morning Colt and I jump on his motorcycle for breakfast at the bagel shop where I used to work, the one where I first met Zero. As I stand at the counter, looking at the girl whose job I once had, I’m struck with how completely things can change. Back when I worked here, I had nothing to look forward to, nothing good in my life. Now, I feel like I have everything I could ever want.
We sit at the table by the window. “Did you hear from Brittany about the reporters?” I ask.
“Nope,” Colt says. “Maybe we lucked out, and she’s not speaking to me anymore.”
I kick him under the table. “She’s your friend.”
“She used to be. Then she fed you to the wolves.”
I shrug. “I’ve been in worse places than your father’s limo.”
He stares out the window. “I can’t believe he offered you money. Makes me wonder what else he’s done to fuck up my life.”
