by M. R. Joseph
"I don't want to leave," she said smiling at him.
"Me neither. This trip has been more than I ever imagined it would be. Back to reality." He grumbled.
"Carter, about that. You know I'm going to have to talk to Jordan don't you? I owe it to him."
He raised his elbow and propped his head on his hand. "What he owes you, Casey, is an apology. He should have stuck up for you and he didn't."
"I know, Car. He's a really good person and I care about him. Deeply. You need to understand that."
Carter sat up and shook his head.
"Sorry, but I don't. Do you love him, Case? Were you in love with him because I don't need an obstacle getting in the way of our happiness."
She shot up and faced him.
"An obstacle? Carter. Be serious. I loved him, yes. In love with him, I think I started to but then I found my feeling for you," she said.
"What if I hadn't come home? Then what? You would have fallen in love completely with him, married him and gave birth to some trust fund babies."
"You are being ridiculous, Carter. I don't really know what would have happened but that's not how things turned out, did they?"
He calmed down a bit and realized she was stating the truth. There was no sense in rehashing it but in the back of his mind, the 'what if' still stood firm and he couldn't escape it. He stopped discussing it further. He stood and stuck out his hand for her to grab.
"Let's go for a swim. It's a gorgeous night."
He pulled her down towards the beach. They were both gloriously naked and the warm salted waters felt amazing on their bodies. They played around for a bit with only the glow of the moon lighting their way through the water. A little while later, Carter started to leave the water and walk onto the beach.
"Where you going, baby?" Casey yelled to him.
"I have sand under my balls. I'm going to shower."
She laughed at him as she watched his fine, well toned ass make it's way back up to the house. When Carter made his way upstairs to the master bath, he turned on the water and the four shower heads came on full blast and crossed each other. The shower was made entirely of bubble glass but there was no door. It was open with just three sides of the glass. It was deep and a half dozen people could fit into it. He stepped into the warm water and put his head under. He closed his eyes and put his hand up against the wall. The feeling of the water coming in on all sides relaxed him and he savored the feeling. Casey made her way upstairs and opened the door to the bathroom slowly. The steam seeped out revealing the image of her man. He looked nothing less than perfect, standing there with the water cascading down his hard body. She could see the black ink on the side of him. She imagined licking it and desire began to pool between her legs. She walked into the open shower and stepped behind him. Carter's eyes were closed as the heads of the shower blasted onto his sculpted chest and arms. Her tongue needed to trace that tattoo. She needed to taste his body. She turned to his side and traced the first part with the tip of her hot tongue. He flinched and looked down.
"Sweet Christ, baby, you scared me."
She looked up at him with desire in her eyes. She continued licking each black inked piece of flesh. His head hung back.
"Oh God, baby, what are you doing?"
"Want me to stop?" She looked up from where her head was near his hip bone. "I've been wanting to do this all day."
"No, I don't want you to stop. It feels so good. Your tongue is so hot."
His dick was rock hard from the feeling of her tongue against his sensitive skin. She noticed his hardness and a need came upon her to touch it. She took it in her hands when she was done her assault on his tattoo.
"Christ, baby. Stroke it soft and slow."
She did what he asked and ran her palm up and down his wet, velvety length. The water ran down both their bodies and the combination of it and Casey's hand working him over, made him dizzy. He took her mouth and plunged his tongue deep inside her. He could still taste the salt water from the sea on her so he licked the outside of her lips and she shuttered. He took his hand and found her clit. He started to rub it as she continued to rub him. The faster he rubbed her, the faster she stroked him. Their bodies were slippery which made all their actions seem even more intense. They rested their foreheads on one another and moaned in unison.
"Oh God, Carter, I want to come. Make me come. Do it, please."
"I'll make you come, baby. Like you never have before," he said in almost a whisper.
He pulled her hand off his cock and took his hand off her aching nub. He turned her around with force and nailed her against the glass shower walls. Her hands immediately were pressed against the glass. He grabbed the back of one of her knees and lifted it. There was no pause, he just entered her.
"Oh God, Carter!" She yelled and pressed the side of her face on the glass. His head hung back and he invaded her wetness. A feeling of euphoria over took him and he pumped in and out of her in a slow, but hard pace. He felt high from the heat of the water and the heat of her insides. He let her knee go as he continued fucking her. Her gently rubbed her ass cheeks and she rounded her hips as he took her from behind. He grabbed the body wash from the shelf beside him. He squeezed some of it out and lathered it up in his hands quickly. Carter went to her breasts with his soapy hands and began massaging them. She hung her head back so it rested on his shoulder. His hands caressed her flat, tanned belly, then he led them down to her sensitive flesh. He rubbed her in a circular motion as she cried out in ecstasy. The combination of his hands the slippery soap on her, felt like nothing she ever felt. She was close to coming and he felt it on his dick. The more turned on she was, the harder he fucked her and rubbed her more swiftly.
"Carter, oh God baby, here I come. Oh, my God."
"Let go, baby. Scream my name as you come. Do it Casey I need to hear you scream my name."
"Carter! CARTER! Oh God!"
Her muscles contracted around him and he felt her wetness run down him. A second later he joined her in bliss.
"Casey, oh Jesus!" He pumped a few more times.
He kissed her shoulders and slowly pulled out of her. She felt the emptiness as he left her from inside. She slid down the shower wall and he joined her. She snuggled into him as the water still flowed from the heads onto their sated bodies. They stayed in that position until the water turned cooler. She closed her eyes and felt like she could sleep right there no matter if the water was cool or not.
"The car will be here early tomorrow, baby. Let's go get some sleep." He stood up and extended his hand to hers. She raised it and he pulled her up and they made their way up to bed.
They snuggled under the mountains of blankets. Casey curled into his side. She began tracing the tattoo with her fingers. He shivered as she touched it delicately.
"Haven't you had enough of that tattoo this evening, my sweetface?" He smiled down at her.
"Will you tell me what it means, Car?"
Sleep was threatening to invade Carter and he closed his eyes. What he said was hardly audible but she understood what he said loud and clear.
"Always Casey."
Then there was silence. He had fallen asleep. She squeezed her eyes shut and placed her hand over his beating heart. She thought about how he had marked his body for all eternity with her name. He had loved her for all this time. She was a damn fool not to see it, but then again, he was a damn fool for never coming forth and telling her his feelings.
The flight home was quick. Carter wasn't very talkative. He stayed silent most of the way. She wondered if their conversation the previous night was bothering him. She had to be honest with him. She just couldn't shut off her feelings for Jordan at a flick of a switch. They were together for six months. He was kind and respectful to her. He was a wonderful, loving, and smart man.
The cab dropped them off at Casey's house. Lyla and Tommy saw them arrive home and ran over to Casey's house. They each carried a few dozen white roses. When they got to the front of her ho
use Carter and Casey looked at them confused.
"Hi guys. Hope you had a nice trip. These are all yours. A dozen came everyday to your house while you were gone. They're from Jordan."
"Oh shit." Casey said. She opened the door to her house and they all walked in. Tommy and Lyla put the flowers on her dining table. All the cards said almost the same thing. He was sorry, forgive him, please talk to him. Carter paced around the house and went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. He chugged the whole thing.
"Lond. Welcome back. How was your trip?" Tommy asked.
"Great, just great." He mumbled.
Casey rolled her eyes and threw away all the cards Jordan had sent.
"So what are you going to tell Jordan Case?" Lyla asked.
Carter walked into the dining room. "She's going to tell him that she loves me and they weren't meant to be and he'll go take a fucking leap off the causeway," Carter snapped.
Casey threw her head in his direction. "Don't tell me what I'm going to say to him, Carter. I'll say what needs to be said. You don't speak for me. Ever. Are we understood?"
Lyla and Tommy sensed the tension.
"OK, then. We will be at my house. Casey, call if you guys want to do beers and catch up later."
Casey answered her. "Ok," but she never took her eyes off an angry Carter. Lyla and Tommy left and Carter and Casey stood in silence for a few minutes.
"I'm going to take the bags upstairs," he said walking out of the room.
She watched him walk away and ran her hands over her face in frustration. She sorted through her mail and threw away the junk and separated some of her bills. She heard Carter come back down the steps. Casey walked into the living room and he stood there holding a box in his hands.
"What's that?" She pointed to the box. His expression was still stoic.
"Come here." He said quietly but demanding. "Sit down, please."
She sat on the sofa and he crouched down to meet her eyes, still holding the mysterious box. He cleared his throat.
"From the time I saw you standing in that crowd nine years ago, I looked at you like you were the last person on this earth. When I talked to you, I saw your eyes and got completely lost in them. When I fucked up any chances of us being together, it was the worst decision I had ever had made in my life. Being your friend was my only option. I never thought I would be here today looking at you again like I always have, but the difference is you are looking at me the same way. It's so simple to love you, Casey. I couldn't imagine my life without your friendship, now I can't imagine my life without your love." He handed her the box. "I didn't know how to do this. It' the only way I know how. Open it."
Casey had no idea what was in the box. Her heart hammered away in her chest at the anticipation of what the contents were. She slowly opened it and undid the tissue paper. Inside were a pair of white, high top Converse sneakers. These were unlike any other she had ever seen. She pulled them out and encrusted in different colored jeweled studs were the words Marry Me. One word on each shoe. She looked up at him and her jaw dropped. She was silent and he searched her face for some kind of response. Whether it was with her eyes or her words, nothing was there.
"Carter," she said softly, " I don't understand."
"Casey, I'm not the type of man who does ordinary things. I'm not traditional. When I do things I do them to please others. I know your not the kind of person who expects things. I know how you appreciate the...well simple things. I had these made when I was on tour. The same guy who did your other pair before I left, did these. I will buy you a ring. Anything you want, but these are you, Casey. They are meant for you. Please say you belong with me and make me the happiest man on this earth. Marry me, Casey."
She looked up at him and went to speak. She had no idea what to say. Her mind was trying to process what he had just said to her. Never would she have thought they would be at this point. The words kept running through her head like a freight train. Marry me, marry me, marry me...Casey's didn't have time to respond because at that moment a knock was at the door. She jumped and the shoes went falling to the floor. Carter bent down and picked them up. She stammered for words.
"I... I have to get that." She made her way to the door and left Carter still on his knees. She opened the door to find Jordan standing there.
"Jordan. What are you doing here?"
"Casey, please. I need to apologize to you for so much. Can we talk?"
Jordan looked past her to see Carter on the floor holding the shoes. Casey looked over her shoulder at Carter and gently pushed Jordan out the door.
"I'll be right back," she turned and told Carter. Casey closed the door and stood on the porch.
"Jordan, we do need to talk but not here."
"OK. Let's talk in my car. Is that ok?" She nodded.
They made their way to his Range Rover. Jordan opened the door for her and she climbed in. When he got in he leaned over to kiss her cheek. She allowed it, but then there was silence.
"Casey, before you say anything I need to apologize for everything. My father's behavior, his words, the lack of action on my part to stop it. I'm so sorry. Please say you forgive me and we can start over again. Casey, I love you. You mean so much to me. Please say you love me and forgive me."
Casey started to cry. She wiped her tears away knowing what she had to say would hurt him and that was something she didn't want but it was inevitable.
"Jordan, there are some things you should know. The day after the party, Carter and I went away and.." She couldn't look at him. She wasn't ashamed about what happened between her and Carter, but yet, felt the guilt because she wasn't that person. Someone who cheats. Jordan saw everything he needed to know by her face.
"Did something happen, Casey? Between you and Carter?"
She started to sob uncontrollably. Her breathe hitched and she tired to control her emotions but it was too late.
"Ye... yes.. it.. did." She stuttered as her tears fell.
Jordan looked straight ahead and gripped the steering wheel and let out a sigh.
"Did you fall in love with him, Casey?"
She nodded yes. No words were spoken. There was just the sounds of their breathing.
"I thought so," he said quietly.
"What do you mean?" She asked. He turned to her.
"Casey, a blind man could have seen this coming. I'm a smart man but not too smart in the ways of the heart to be honest. I think I knew it from the time I saw you two together. The way you look at him, you never looked at me that way, the way you talk about him, the way you tell stories about the two of you. I think I tried to ignore it. When he sang that song at my parents, I... I knew it was meant for you. I don't think I wanted to see what was right in front of me."
"Jordan, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I swear. I did love you. I do love you. It's just, It's..." She looked at him and searched his face for forgiveness.
"I know, Casey. I know. He said sadly. "I'll always love you, Casey. You are a special person and I'll never forget you." He stayed silent for a few moments. "I think I need to leave. I'm sorry but I can't stay here."
"Jor.." She interrupted her.
"No, Casey. It's ok. I'll be ok. I just need to go." He grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it. She bent over and kissed his cheek gently. There was nothing more to say. She opened the door and exited the car. She walked up towards her house. When she looked back, Jordan had already pulled out of the driveway and backed out onto the street. He glanced up at her and gave her a small smile. He pulled away and she opened the door and walked back in the house. Carter stood there waiting for her.
"Are you ok?'" he asked.
"Not now, Carter. Please." She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.
"Case, we need to talk about this. You never answered my question."
She chugged her beer down and gave him a chuckle. " Oh yea, what question is that Carter?"
"Will you marry me?" What he said triggered a
n emotion she was not prepared to deal with.
She threw the beer bottle against the wall and it shattered everywhere.
"Jesus Christ, Casey! What is wrong with you?"
She ran her hands furiously through her hair and scrunched it up in her fists. He wanted an answer. She felt smothered by his question. Didn't he understand what just happened? What she just did was hard and he didn't understand. She felt like she couldn't breathe. "You stand here Carter after all this time, all these years and now with your true feelings exposed. You expect me to just throw my arms around you and tell you 'yes' and shut my feelings off for someone I just broke up with five-seconds ago.You want an answer, Carter? Is that what you want? A fucking answer? The answer is no! I can't marry anyone right now. I just broke someones' heart and I feel awful and dirty for doing it. Why couldn't you have just told me nine years ago, then I wouldn't be in this mess? You wanted a fucking answer Carter, well you got it!" She screamed the words to him and ran up to her bedroom.
Carter stood there with anger brimming in his chest. He ran up after her.
"NO!" He yelled. " You won't marry me? Fine, if you're not ready, I'll wait Casey. As long as you want. I'll give you all the time you need. Just don't stop loving me."
Her laughter resonated through the room. She felt out of control, angry, and confused. She went over to her dresser and looked in the mirror. She saw him standing behind her, searching her face for some kind of reasoning. He made his way towards her and she felt like an elephant was sitting upon her chest. She began to breath rapidly and dizziness overwhelmed her. She took her hand and swiped at the perfume bottles and pictures frames that were on top of her dresser. All of them crashing onto the floor and shattering.
"What the fuck are you doing, Casey? Stop it!" He bent over and started to pickup the glass on the floor. She seethed with anger and gasped for air.
"You can't be here, Carter. I can't have you here. I... I need to think. You need to give me space. I need time."
The look on his face almost broke her heart. Anguish appeared and she knew he was in hell but she needed him to go away. She needed to escape and think.
