Hoofin’ It: A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count)

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Hoofin’ It: A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Page 39

by RJ Blain


  Since we didn’t have a real plan, no one could ruin it for us, although the idea of flying blind into battle worried me enough I shifted in the saddle and tensed, preparing for the worst. Bai Bao Chen snorted, pawed the step, and surged forward, hurtling upwards faster than any mere horse could hope to manage.

  I somehow stayed on her back, though I suspected that had more to do with her than any skill on my part. It took several strides to adapt to her canter, which rolled as she flowed up the steps, each hoof placed with the precision gained only with practice. I believed she could’ve found her way even blindfolded, running with a confidence I envied.

  We burst through the barrier into chaos, bodies, and carnage. The dead or dying barred our way, assuming the kirin refused to trample anyone. Bai Bao Chen jumped, soared, and crashed down on a man’s back, who was swinging at my father from behind; I only recognized Dad from his size.

  Blood dripped from his fur, masking its color.

  “Well, isn’t this interesting.” The kirin kept all four hooves on her prey as she took stock of the battle. Dad whirled, his claws lifted to strike.

  “Hey, Dad. Fancy meeting you here.” I lifted my new dagger in salute.

  Gold roiled in my father’s eyes, and he bared his teeth at me. “Boy. I’m tanning your hide later.”

  “Okay.” The group Dad fought seemed to like his back, and without missing a beat, I whipped out my Ruger, aimed, and fired. I didn’t remember the man being in the Babylonian’s files but decided I didn’t care who he was.

  Another attacker approached, and without bothering to turn, Dad kicked out, catching him with his clawed feet. Blood splashed, and Bai Bao Chen whinnied her approval. Snarling curses my father whipped around and slashed, grabbing hold of his victim’s arm and yanking. “My turn to go clubbing,” he announced, before wading into battle with his new weapon.

  “Have I ever told you my father’s armed and dangerous?”

  “No,” the kirin replied. “You had not.”

  “He is. I’m quite proud of him, just don’t tell him that.”

  “As you should be. It was a very skilled disarming of his opponent.”

  “Do you think we should give him a hand?”

  Bai Bao Chen made a thoughtful noise in her throat, shifted her weight, and bucked, kicking her hind legs out. I twisted in time to watch a head fly into the canal while the man’s body dropped lifeless to the sidewalk. “No, I think he is ahead of the game thus far, but should he need our aid, we will give him a leg up.”

  Having adjusted to the lack of peripheral vision on my right side, I was startled by a flash of movement. I brought my blade up, catching a vampire in the hand, her fingers curled into claws and her fangs bared. Cold fear trickled through me at the memory of Ernesto’s bite.

  Instead of shooting her with my Ruger like a smart man, I smashed it into her teeth before jamming the barrel into her mouth. I fired twice.

  Cursing at the waste of a perfectly good bullet, I ripped the weapon free and sliced the dagger across her throat. She’d drank recently; blood sprayed from my slice, and her scream ended in a gurgle. She slashed her hands at me, her nails sharpened to dangerous little points. Kicking someone was hard without stirrups, so I reversed my dagger and smashed the pommel down on the top of her head.

  She withstood the first three hits, and tired of wasting time on her, I drove the business end through the top of her skull. Bai Bao Chen snorted, twisted her head around, and grabbed the vampire’s arm in her teeth. Bracing her legs, the kirin shook like a massive dog, whipping the undead woman’s body side to side. Only when the gurgling screams fell silent did the kirin release the vampire, prancing over the fresh corpse.

  “That was a lot harder than I expected,” I confessed.

  “She was old, but she was old and stupid.” Plowing forward, the kirin shunted aside several Babylonians, their reflective panels larger and divided by gold rather than silver. I suspected the gold marked them as being from a different hive. She followed Dad, who shoved his makeshift club down a vampire’s throat.

  I’d seen Dad fight, but I’d never seen him engage in such blatant brutality. At first, I didn’t understand what he was doing, but then he ripped his club out of the back of the vampire’s head and resumed beating his victim with it.

  The vampire, despite half its head being gone was still alive.

  “That’s totally unfair. I fall off a balcony and essentially die, and that thing takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.” With three bullets already gone, I didn’t want to waste a round on a vampire who wouldn’t die from it anyway. “There’s gotta be a better way of killing these damned things.”

  “Decapitation works well.” Bai Bao Chen closed the distance between Dad and his prey, lowered her head, and stabbed with the horn protruding from her jaw. With a great heave of her hind quarters, the kirin tossed the vampire in the air.

  “That one was mine,” Dad complained.

  I waited for the vampire to fall. Instead of obeying the laws of gravity, it reached the zenith of its flight and hung there while I frowned at it. Bai Bao Chen chuckled. “Shedu. We should move.” The kirin tossed her nose to the alley between Michietti’s and the neighboring building.

  Dad bounded over, pausing to slash his claws at someone stupid enough to get in his way. The kirin followed, and the instant we were out of the way, something slammed the vampire down on the sidewalk.

  The stone cracked under the force of the impact.

  I didn’t catch a glimpse of the shedu, and I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed or relieved. “Where’s Mom?”

  “She fell.”

  “What?!” My eyes widened, and I sucked in a breath.

  Dad shot me a look. “Into the water, pup.”

  I exhaled. “Oh.”

  “Last I checked, she’d figured out vampires don’t drown but do flail in water, so she was playing with a pair of them. Since she looked like she was having a good time, I left her to it.”

  “Wonderful. Wolf-infested waters. What the hell is going on?”

  Bai Bao Chen turned to watch the chaos on the streets, which involved a lot of vampires trying to bite other vampires, something wasn’t ending well for the vampires belonging to the rival brood, especially with the Babylonians participating in the fray. As far as I could tell, the vampires of Ernesto’s brood were toying with their victims to give the Babylonians a turn with them. I twisted around in the saddle to watch our back and keep an eye on Dad.

  “About fifty vampires swarmed the restaurant half an hour ago. We think they were trying to take Pierina.”

  When Ernesto found out, Ricci would be smeared across half of Chicago. “Really? That’s pretty stupid of them. Where is she?”

  “Playing volleyball with one of her brothers and someone’s head in the restaurant’s entry. I got the feeling she knew the guy and had a grudge, so I thought I’d leave her alone. That was right before the…” Dad held his hands up in helpless surrender. “I don’t know what they are. They came and started making a mess of things.”

  “Babylonians,” I supplied before gesturing to Bai Bao Chen. “Dad, this is Bai Bao Chen, and she’s a kirin.”

  “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am. If my pup gives you any trouble, kick him a few times. He’s tough. Try not to hurt him too badly. I’d have to take offense if you did that.”

  Bai Bao Chen chuckled. “The pleasure is mine.”

  “I think you should be aware humans are part of her diet, Dad.”

  “We’re going to have a long talk about your life choices when this is over, pup.” Settling in a crouch, Dad watched the battle, his eyes glowing gold while he panted. “Where’s your woman?”

  “Probably within five minutes of scaring a decade or two off my life,” I confessed, wondering if it was possible to convince Fang Jiahao Yi to stay near the barrier where I could pretend she wasn’t about to wade into a brawl. “Seen O’Conners?”

  “He’s around. I haven’t gotten close to him
yet.”

  “Bai Bao Chen?”

  “We hunt. Eat well on this battlefield, werewolf.”

  Dad displayed his teeth in a hungry grin.

  When the cops joined the party, the battle turned into wholesale slaughter, a bloodbath the Saven brood declined to participate in. At the first sound of sirens, Bai Bao Chen had jumped the canal, taken to the alley on the other side, and stood statue still, watching Michietti’s from the shadows.

  “They’re on the list,” she said, her ears twisting back. “For that, I am sorry.”

  “Let’s find O’Conners.” I would deal with reality later—after I made sure the hitman couldn’t target Marian again. “So much for being the good cop.”

  “It is not your fault they decided to sell other humans for profit. Do not carry guilt that does not belong to you. Their victims will not see justice in your human courts. The evil ones will face judgment from a higher power now.”

  I hated she was right. “If I were O’Conners, and I was looking to get rid of specific nuisances, I’d be on higher ground waiting for a good shot.”

  “But his position is bad else he would have taken you out already. Over the restaurant?”

  “Possibly.”

  She shook her head. “The rooftop here. You cannot go my way.”

  “Fire escape?” Michietti’s had one at the back of the building, facing the alley away from the canal. “Probably on the back of the building so the canal view isn’t ruined.”

  The kirin twisted, more flexible than any horse, turning in the narrow confines of the alley. I spotted the fire escape, but someone had taken offense to the first fifteen feet, leaving scars on the brick and stone where the metal staircase had once been. A second look revealed the building’s other two escapes had been likewise damaged. “He might be up here.”

  “If I toss you, can you grab hold without falling to your death? I would hate to explain to a werewolf I killed his puppy who was attempting an act of unnecessary heroics.”

  “Unnecessary?”

  “I could go up there and eat him.”

  I thought about that. “Someone should be there to witness you eating him.”

  “You doubt me?”

  “No. I just doubt you’d leave any evidence by the time you were done licking the roof clean.”

  She whinnied a laugh. “Try not to die. I do not want to eat you.”

  “I don’t want you to eat me, either.” I pointed at the closest fire escape. “All right. Line up under it.”

  Once Bai Bao Chen was in position, I stood on the saddle, eyed the few feet between me and the twisted railing dangling beneath the first intact step, and jumped. She helped with a buck, and I hit the metal chest first, hissing at the pain in my abused shoulder. I grabbed the rail, pulled my legs up, and jammed my toes against the first step. Hand over hand, I scrambled onto the intact stairs. The entire structure swayed under my weight, so I tested every step, aware if the fire escape toppled, I’d be trapped in a cage of broken, rusting metal.

  When I reached the third story and the ladder to the roof, I checked to see if the kirin waited below. She was gone. I reminded myself ladders weren’t nets, and I could handle one stupid little flimsy ladder, cursing to myself while I climbed.

  The ladder shook more than the steps, and I was shaking by the time I peered over the roof’s ledge.

  Trouble came in threes, but if I multiplied by three, I was closer to the number of men and vampires hanging out on the flat roof. The din of the battle masked the creak of metal when I eased over the ledge and landed in a crouch.

  I had three bullets, and I counted twelve potential targets. The math was not in my favor. My gaze locked on the most important target, Mark O’Conners, who watched the battle below with a sniper rifle in hand, although he hadn’t set it up.

  The weapon did him no good leaning against the roof’s half foot tall ledge.

  Since I’d already abandoned all semblance of playing fair, one of my rounds had his name on it, and he’d be the first one I took out. I wasn’t sure who my next two targets would be, but I’d figure it out. The best I could do was lower the odds down to one against nine until Bai Bao Chen made her way to the roof—if she could.

  A better man would have given a warning, started an old-fashioned duel, or announced his presence, but I took aim, steadied my grip, and pulled the trigger.

  My bullet struck true, plowing into the center of the man’s spine, but Mark O’Conners didn’t fall. In his hissed cry, I recognized the sound of a vampire’s pain. I shifted my aim to his head and drilled the last two rounds into the back of his skull.

  The third round did the trick; the newly turned vampire tumbled off the roof. Unless his head was severed or someone staked him, he’d get back up, but I had other problems to worry about. With my ammunition gone, I’d brought a knife to a gun fight against vampires, and the eleven remaining figures whirled to face me.

  Stripes was one of them, but he hadn’t had a cute pair of pearly fangs the last time I’d seen him.

  Since an empty Ruger was useless, I wound up, took aim, and threw it as hard as I could. The handgun smacked right between Stripes’s eyes, and he yelped his astonishment. While I had the element of surprise, I lunged forward, closing my fingers over my new dagger, and brought the fight to them before they remembered they had guns and I didn’t.

  I’d done some profoundly stupid things in my life, but facing off against eleven vampires—even newly fledged ones—topped the list. Maybe I was a shifter, but they had abilities I lacked, including speed, strength, and the stamina born from not needing to breathe.

  The older vampires would kill me the instant they got a hold of me; the only ones I stood a chance against were the young ones. Since wasting my breath would get me killed, I didn’t bother saying a word. Stripes had made his choices. I’d made mine.

  Deciding to join an organization enslaving people and turning them into cattle for vampires’ wealth, profit, and sustenance made him dangerous—too dangerous to leave alive.

  Some vampires did good, and I was learning those were the exception rather than the rule.

  Later, I’d regret killing a cop, although his transformation from human to vampire made him like me, no longer eligible to serve on the force. Firming my grip on the dagger, I slashed it across Stripes’s throat, grabbing hold of his hair with my other hand and yanking with all my strength. Beheading someone took time and a lot of effort, two things I couldn’t spare, but I gave it my best shot. The edge sliced through muscle and bone with startling ease, leaving his body to fall to the ground.

  An infuriated scream cut over the cacophony of battle.

  I turned to go for the next vampire, and another hit me from behind, his knees slamming into my back and driving me down, my chest smacking against the rooftop. Fangs tore into the back of my shoulder.

  All the warnings of a hunting vampire’s bite hadn’t prepared me for the sensation of my blood being pulled from my body as my heart stuttered and skipped several beats. It hurt, but nothing like what Ernesto or Quinton had inflicted on me.

  My world narrowed to the wheeze of my breath and the growing tightness in my chest. I knew I needed to fight, but more hands than I could easily count pinned me down while I thrashed.

  “Don’t kill him,” a man’s voice rumbled. “Not yet. I want Saven to watch me make this one in my image.”

  The pressure on my shoulder eased, but my heartbeat remained rapid, throbbing through me. My vision cleared, giving me my first look at Luca Ricci, who crouched beside me. His red suit dripped blood, and the vampire displayed his fangs.

  “Luca Ricci,” I ground out through clenched teeth.

  “How flattering. You know my name. You’ve been a thorn in my side, Shane Gibson. I would kill you, but you’ll be far more useful as a pawn forced to work at my side, turned against everything you believe, dead and gone, made new in my image, so I can savor the moment when those who claim to love you are forced to put you down.
You’ll become just another monster among many. Aren’t you excited? I am. I will only regret you will be unaware of it at the end. You’ll have forgotten everything. That black werewolf is your father, is he not? I think your first task in your new life will be to kill him for me—and that red bitch of his. Your mother, right?”

  I said nothing because he was right. If he turned me, I’d die and carry a new soul, one with no memory of who or what I’d once been. I should’ve been afraid, but there was no room for fear. I trembled, but in growing rage because I couldn’t pull free from the vampires holding me down.

  Leaning towards me, Ricci brushed his leathery fingertips down the line of my scar over my right eye. “It burns so beautifully, this eye. Tell me, what do you see through its flames?”

  Flames? Movement and a flash of green and gold drew my attention behind Ricci. Bai Bao Chen stilled, her head held high with her fire-bright eyes staring at the vampire as though she was considering the best way to slay and devour him. At her side, his suit untouched by the carnage of war, stood Ernesto.

  One by one, Abil Ili and his hive shimmered into view, and their claws dripped red and black. Several more kirin popped into being, their coats stained crimson. Towering over them all was a creature with the body of a lion, the legs of a bull, and a human head on a short, sinewy neck. Great black wings banded with white folded over the shedu’s back.

  I met its gaze, and it judged me with brilliant emerald eyes and found me lacking.

  “Your death,” I answered, although I wondered if I’d live to see it. The shedu might choose me as the one to punish first. “You’ve made a mistake, vampire.”

  Bai Bao Chen had told me she could work magic of misdirection, and I figured the kirin and the shedu were doing just that, for the vampires were behaving as though we were alone on the roof. Then again, maybe I was hallucinating. Blood loss could cause delusions, and I’d easily believe I’d conjure such an army to comfort myself.

  Even if Ricci killed me, Ernesto would protect Marian. I’d already taken care of O’Conners and Stripes. They wouldn’t touch her.

 

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