“Indeed you’re not, Madam,” Valcanas said.
“There he goes again! I want him removed! Officer, I’m ordering you to remove this man!”
“Uh, I was, uh, I was just supposed to call the witnesses, ma’am. And hold the Bible,” Fischetti said. “I don’t think I’m allowed to remove a lawyer, uh, least that wasn’t in my orders—”
“Is everybody here trying to thwart me?!”
“If you’re not going to play by the Rules of Evidence, I certainly am,” Valcanas said.
“You’re contemptible!” Mrs. Remaley said, standing up and shoving her chair back. “You’re in contempt of me! We’ll just see about this, I’m calling a recess, I’m going to see the mayor, we’ll just see what he has to say about this. But for the record here—you want things on the record, mister? Well you put this on your record. I want everybody here to know I think you’re in contempt of me!”
Valcanas laced his fingers together, put them behind his head, and leaned back in his chair. He watched Mrs. Remaley stomp out of the room, then looked at Rayford and winked.
Rayford leaned close to Valcanas’s ear and whispered, “Uh, was that what you meant when you said you were gonna get her flustered? ’Cause she looked a lot more than just flustered to me, I mean, uh, she looked seriously pissed off.”
“What I was doing was get on that tape that I have a right to appeal any ruling or finding here and also that she doesn’t have a clue what she’s doin’. And, if I do say so myself, I succeeded admirably. So now you can sit back, relax, enjoy the show. I guarantee she’s gonna give me another ground for appeal every time she opens her mouth. The more she screws up, the closer we get to a judge. One with enough common sense to declare any finding by this committee null and void. Excuse me, I gotta take a dump. Don’t let her start without me.”
“Don’t let her start? Why’s she goin’ listen to me?”
“Just stand up and say you have federal and state constitutional guarantees to have counsel present—and keep sayin’ it till I get back. Be polite. Be firm. Just don’t let her intimidate you. Gotta go.”
Valcanas was back in plenty of time. The recess Mrs. Remaley called to settle the issue of her authority dragged on for ten minutes. Then fifteen. Then twenty. When she reappeared she was followed by the mayor himself, who stopped just inside the door and made some signs to Councilman Trautwine, who told Valcanas that the mayor wanted to see him.
Valcanas whispered to Rayford, “This oughta be good for at least one laugh,” and took a while ambling back to the mayor.
Rayford turned around and watched the mayor leaning in close to Valcanas’s ear and talking with many gestures for nearly two minutes. Valcanas never said a word. The mayor patted Valcanas on the shoulder a couple of times and gave him a serious smile and several nods. Valcanas turned and walked back to his seat, stood there a moment collecting himself, and then said, “Is the recorder back on?”
“It is now,” Councilman Trautwine said.
“Are you going to object to something else again?” Mrs. Remaley said.
“No, ma’am, I just want to say for the record that Mayor An-gelo Bellotti has asked me to go easy on you, Madam Chairperson, so we can get this matter behind us, because he said, just a minute ago, at the back of this room, and I’m quoting him exactly here, you don’t know your ass from a ham sandwich, end quote.”
“What?!” Mrs. Remaley said. “Why you miserable old goat—”
“Object to your tone and to that sobriquet, Madam.”
“We’ll see about this,” Mrs. Remaley said, jumping up and knocking her chair back so that it rocked precariously on its back legs before settling forward again. She stomped out of the room again, with Valcanas calling after her, “Is this still part of the first recess, or is this a new one—does anybody know?”
Councilman Figulli came around the committee table to Valcanas and bent over and whispered, “Hey, Mo, Jesus Christ, you made your fuckin’ point, whattaya want? The sooner you shut up and let her finish what she wantsa do, the sooner we all go home— and don’t you fuckin’ dare pull that shit on me you just pulled on Bellotti, you prick. ’Cause you do? Behind your office there? I’ll find leaks in your gas line, your sewer line, your water line, I’ll have your parkin’ lot tore up for two, three months. And I’m also sure code enforcement will find a few things wrong with your office john, you hear? So stop fuckin’ with her, she’s a big enough pain in the balls without you bustin’ her chops every coupla seconds.”
“As usual, Egidio, your eloquence is inspiring. It moves me to try to reach common ground with the chairperson. Uh, there is one thing though. It’s rumored that you and Mrs. Remaley are related in some way, could that be possible? She wouldn’t be your wife’s cousin, would she?”
“See? There ya go, ya prick, you can’t leave well enough alone, always gotta be nosin’ around, now you’re tryin’ to bust my balls, and I’m tellin’ ya, don’t do that.”
“Egidio, how could a man of your persuasive powers allow this to happen? Seriously, you couldn’t talk her out of this? You couldn’t tell her what was gonna happen every time she opened her mouth? Looks to me like one of you is carrying a large debt. Or a large grudge. Want me to speculate?”
“Aw c’mon, Mo, for Christ sake, just let her alone, please?”
“No can do. Every time she demonstrates through her ignorance that she’s runnin’ a kangaroo court here, I’m gonna spank her. For me to do any less would make me ineffective counsel, and it’d be easier for me to grow hair than do that. So you wanna get this farce over with, take a little control here yourself, tell your counsel the next witness he oughta call is Joseph Buczyk.”
“Oh what, he’s talkin’ now? Since when?”
Valcanas sighed and shook his head. “What the hell do you do all day besides ride around in a city truck and look for potholes? Course he is. DA signed the plea agreement at least a week ago. Sometimes, Egidio, I swear you pols communicated better when you used to pound on hollow logs with sticks.”
“Yeah yeah. So no shit now, he signed a deal?”
“Why would I make that up?”
“Aw, this is such bullshit. What a waste a time.”
“Not to mention actual Yankee dollars.”
“Huh? What’re you talkin’ about, Yankee dollars?”
“Well you don’t think I’m going to bill my client for defending him against this ridiculous attempt to besmirch his character, do you? The minute this farce is history, I’m going straight to the courthouse to sue the city to pay my fee and expenses. And you know how those closet Republican judges love to bust your Democratic balls.”
“Oh you would, wouldn’t ya? Christ. Lemme go talk to Hep-burg.”
Valcanas stretched and whispered to Rayford, “I do believe we might be out of here in time for happy hour at Mr. P’s.”
WHEN HEPBURG finished questioning Peter Hornyak, Valcanas stood and walked to the far right of the committee’s table to put them between Hornyak and himself. Valcanas pursed his lips for a moment and said, “It’s your testimony, is it, that Officer Rayford never ordered you or commanded you to get down or get on the ground?”
“Yeah. That’s my testimony.”
“And you also said you have no idea why he shot you, right?”
“That’s right.”
“You were just standing there in front of your home, correct?”
“Correct.”
“Minding your own business, correct?”
“Correct.”
“And Officer Rayford just drove up, parked his police vehicle across the street from your house, and without warning, without reason, without provocation from you, he just opened fire?”
“That’s right.”
“Fired two shots,correct?”
“Correct.”
“Missed you with the first one, correct?”
“Correct.”
“And struck you in the right knee with the second, correct?”
“Correct.”
“Mr. Hornyak, before Officer Rayford arrived, what were you doing?”
“Uh, nothin’.”
“You weren’t having a verbal dispute with one of your neighbors, specifically a Mr. Joseph Buczyk?”
“We were just talkin’.”
“Just talking, huh? No dispute though, right?”
“Right.”
“Amiable conversation. About the weather perhaps? Or about baseball perhaps?”
“Somethin’ like that.”
“So then, how would you explain why one of your neighbors, specifically a Mrs. Tomko, who lives directly across the street from you, how do you explain that she’s on the Rocksburg Police dispatcher’s tape recording of the second watch at approximately ten minutes after 7 P.M. on Friday, April 16th—how would you explain her call to the police station that you and Mr. Buczyk were involved in a loud argument which she feared was going to escalate into violence?”
“She’s old, you know how people get when they get old.”
“She’s old? How old is she, do you know?”
“Old enough to get Social Security, I know that.”
“How do you know that?”
“’Cause couple days before the end of the month, she’s always out there lookin’ for the mailman.”
“And that’s what makes her old?”
“No. Not just that.”
“What then? What makes her old? You said before, I believe, you know how people get when they get old, isn’t that what you said?”
“Yeah.”
“Well what do they do that makes them old?”
“You know, they don’t know what to do with themselves. So they start nebbin’ in other people’s business. Watches too much TV, thinks everything that happens on TV is gonna happen to her, so she calls the cops about every little thing.”
“So—not to put words in your mouth—but if I understand you, you’re saying she had no reason for calling the police at that time, that you’re aware of, correct?”
“Correct, that’s what I’m sayin’.”
“Uh-huh. I see. Uh, have you ever had a problem, any kind of problem with Mr. Buczyk, say, like two weeks previous to April 16th?”
“I don’t know what you’re referrin’ to.”
“Let me refresh your memory. On Friday, April 2nd, at approximately 6:45 P.M., on the sidewalk between your house and Mr. Buczyk’s house, did he not strike you in the face with his fist?”
“I don’t remember.”
“And wasn’t he arrested by Officer Rayford for striking you with his fist?”
“I don’t remember.”
“And wasn’t he charged by Officer Rayford with assault and aggravated assault upon your person?”
“I don’t remember.”
“I see. A man strikes you with his fist. A police officer, namely Officer William Rayford, the man seated there in the first row, that officer arrests the man who struck you, takes him before a district justice, charges him with violations of Title 18, all of which is now a part of police and judicial records, and you don’t remember any of this, is that what you’re saying now?”
“Right. That’s what I’m sayin’.”
“Mr. Hornyak, have you been having any trouble recently remembering things?”
“No.”
“Have you recently been examined by a doctor, a GP, or a neurologist, or a psychiatrist, or a neurosurgeon?”
“No.”
“Would you remember if you had?”
“Yeah, course I would. I’d remember that, if I’d been to a doctor, yeah.”
“So no one in the recent past, say in the last six months or so, no duly licensed medical practitioner has said to you that you suffer from any brain dysfunction, is that correct?”
“Brain dysfunction?”
“Yes. Any kind of dementia, say as a result of a cerebral-vascular incident, a stroke, or perhaps suspected Alzheimer’s disease, anything like that?”
“No. I think I would remember if somebody told me that.”
“I see. Just a couple more questions, Mr. Hornyak. Have you retained the services of an attorney?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“That was my next question. Why? Why have you hired an attorney?”
“’Cause he’s lookin’ into things for me.”
“What kind of things?”
“That’s between him and me. He told me whatever we say between us stays between us, that’s the law.”
“He told you that your communication was privileged, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, that’s what he said it was. Privileged.”
“I’m gonna go way out on a limb here, Mr. Hornyak. Are you and your attorney planning to sue the city and Officer Rayford?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Because what you and your lawyer have talked about is privileged communication, right?”
“Right.”
“So it would be wrong for me to assume that you have a pecuniary interest in the outcome of this inquiry, is that correct?”
“A what kinda interest?”
“Money. A money interest.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean that if you and your attorney did decide to sue the city and Officer Rayford for the pain and suffering you’ve endured as a result of that gunshot wound to your knee, the outcome of your suit against the city and against Officer Rayford to a large extent will be determined by the outcome of this and subsequent inquiries, if there are any, that’s what I meant. You understand me now?”
“Oh yeah. I understand.”
“And do you agree?”
“I guess, yeah. No, wait, wait a second—hey, that’s none of your business.”
“Nothing further, Madam Chairperson.”
Mrs. Remaley picked up several stacks of manila envelopes and folders. She slapped them down on the table emphatically as she read off their contents: “I’m introducing into evidence the unusual incident report filled out by Officer Rayford on Friday night, April 16th, 1999, in which he writes clearly that he shot Mr. Hornyak. Do you have any objection to that, Mr. Valcanas?”
“No objection, Madam.”
“I’m introducing into evidence the reports filled out by emergency room doctors Kim and Marino from the Conemaugh Hospital ER after treating Mr. Hornyak on Friday, April—”
“No objection, Madam—”
“Would you at least have the courtesy to let me finish?”
“Of course, Madam. My apology. Please finish.”
“I’m introducing the ER doctors’ report of treatment of Mr. Hornyak for a gunshot wound of the right knee on Friday night, April 16th, 1999, at approximately 8:30 P.M.”
“No objection, Madam.”
“Thank you very much, sir. I’m now introducing the report filled out by the surgeons who operated on Mr. Hornyak—”
“Madam Chairman, at the risk of raising your ire again, I think I could save you time by saying that I have no objection to your introducing any written report made by any police officer or doctor or emergency medical technician relating to this shooting incident.”
“Well my God, man, what was all that hullabaloo about before?”
“To use your own words, Madam, that was just me bein’ a lawyer.”
“Oh is that so? Well, Mr.-you’re-just-being-a-lawyer, I’m going to read every one of these documents into the record—”
“That isn’t necessary, Madam, I assure you. All you need do is identify them and give them an evidence number, I’ve seen them all, and I’m sure counsel Hepburg has too.”
“Well aren’t you two just the most wonderful little lawyers?”
“I object to your tone and diction, Madam,” Hepburg said.
Valcanas bowed his head and hid his laughter behind his right hand as he pretended to rub his eyes.
“You two make me sick.”
“Objection,” they both said.
“Oh shut up for God
’s sake and let’s get on with this.”
“Objection to tone and diction,” Valcanas said.
“Objection,” Hepburg said.
“Overruled, both of you! Call your next witness, Mr. Hepburg!”
“Aren’t you gonna finish entering, identifying, and numbering those documents as evidence? Before I call—”
“He said I didn’t need to read them!”
“Yes, Madam, he did. But you still have to enter them as evidence, identify them, and number them in order for them to be part of the record.”
“Oh for God’s sake, I wish you two would make up your minds.”
“I think it’s safe to say, Madam, that we have,” Hepburg said.
“Was that a snide remark? Is that what that was? I think I know a snide remark when I hear one, and that sounded like one to me.”
“Hey, Anna Mae,” Councilman Figulli said, “you wanted to do this, will ya go ’head and do it already, huh? C’mon, Jesus, you keep this up, we’re gonna be here till Friday.”
“Excuse me?! Councilman Figulli, I’m warning you to remember who you are and who I am. In case you forgot, you’re just a member of this board of inquiry, but I’m the chairperson. That means I’m in charge.”
“How could I forget that? Mother a God,” Figulli said, dropping his head into his hand as his elbow hit the table with a thump.
Mrs. Remaley glared at Figulli while he turned his head away from her and closed his eyes. When she was satisfied that he’d been duly impressed by her remarks, she summoned counsel Hepburg to join her some distance behind the committee table where she questioned him about something. Apparently she was asking how to introduce, identify, and number documentary evidence, because when Hepburg came back around to the front of the table that’s what she did, turning her glare onto Valcanas while talking slowly and enunciating carefully each word. Finally, she was done. She then excused Hornyak and ordered Hepburg to call his next witness.
“Call Joseph Walter Buczyk.”
Hornyak and Buczyk passed each other without a glance between them.
After Buczyk was sworn, and with Hepburg leading him along the same chronological path he had led Hornyak, Buczyk contradicted Hornyak in every way. Where Hornyak insisted that Rayford had not ordered him to “get down” or “get on the ground,” Buczyk said he clearly and distinctly heard Rayford order Hornyak to “get down” or “get on the ground” at least four times before he fired the first shot and at least that many times before he fired the second.
Saving Room for Dessert Page 26
