OCTOBER 5, 1998
It is hot as hell. In the 90’s. We went to visit the man-eating 450 lb. Komodo dragons on the island of Komodo. They are traced back 130 million years. They’re also monitor lizards and they lift up their heavy tails and bellies to sprint at up to 15 mph. They can take down a running deer. The dragon is one of the world’s most intelligent reptiles. I shot three roles of film. I was terrified as I walked near them. Awesome.
_____
OCTOBER 6, 1998
Today I have lunch with Tobias Schneebaum, a New York writer, artist and explorer, lived among cannibals in the remote Amazon jungle in the 1950's. Tobias also lived with the cannibals of Irian Jaya. He was with our group because the Shapiro brother and sister team were filming a documentary on his life, KEEP THE RIVER ON YOUR RIGHT. We were headed there next to the village of Asmat on the Banda Sea. I had been looking forward to this for many years. To meet the cannibals. To actually understand their culture. They are the last stone-age members of our planet, (as far as we know). This is the area that Michael Rockefeller, collecting their woodcarvings, disappeared from in 1961. With a twinkle in his eye, Tobias would often infer that perhaps he was eaten. I learned that the cannibals only eat their enemies. For their spiritual and warlike power. They do not see a plump thigh and say, “Yummy”. I was safe!
_____
ASMAT, IRIAN JAYA
OCTOBER 7, 1998
I had to walk miles over mangrove swamps on broken boards, six feet above the rivers and mud. There was a light rain. It was like Outward Bound for me. All of a sudden a young black male appeared. His hand reached out and took my hand and he became my guide the rest of my day there. I know I squeezed the blood out of his hand. I gave him my bandana and 50,000 rupiah in the end. Several people fell down, but not me. As our boat left, I could see my sweet guide, Johannes perched on the dock, smiling and patting the red bandana.
_____
OCTOBER 9, 1998
The diving is now past the Red Sea caliber. Totally virgin. We did the most beautiful dive this afternoon at Banda Besar. It was clear and we saw Lion Fish: we quietly laid on the bottom of the ocean in the sand and these three Lion Fish came out, just really up close to our faces and masks. There were all kinds of sea life –then a parade of spotted brown eels and green eels and poisonous sea snakes. It was a dive to end all dives. Coming back in the Zodiacs, we could not locate our ship. My heart was pounding a bit as it was getting darker and darker. The ship had to be moved with the tide or go aground.
_____
OCTOBER 10, 1998
Crocodiles saluted us by sliding off the mud banks as we traveled 3 hours up river from Flamingo Bay. We went to a village that has never greeted a group of tourists at one time. Because of Tobias, the scantily clad men came out in forty-five wooden canoes to welcome us. He was their old friend. All was very exciting and exotic. They were drumming and chanting. We were greeted by an Asmat tribe covered in feathers and bone nose rings. They jumped onto our Zodiac and began hugging and rubbing against us. They painted my face white with lime and later red ochre, adorned my head with a crown of cassowary feathers and tied a woven skirt around me-never letting go-until we got to shore where the bare breasted women were dancing and chanting. Pam will be ecstatic with these photos. We slipped around in the mud of the mangrove swamps. This was real. I went in and out of fear. We had been briefed as to our demeanor with these dark men. We only brought them medicine. No plastic trinkets. My mind is really being blown by this place. I’m way out there.
Asmat cannibal meeting
Royal adopted by cannibals
_____
OCTOBER 11, 1998
Tonight was the captain’s cocktail party. Actually the crew had decorated the whole room Balinese style and we had a Balinese buffet, which was just unbelievable. I sat next to Eleanor Macmillan who is a descendant of Teddy Roosevelt. She say’s she’s the great grand daughter. But who knows for sure?
_____
OCTOBER 12, 1998
Cost me $30 to send faxes, but I have sent them, and I’ve gotten them from my family. They are so loving and supportive of my capers. I can’t wait to hug them all.
_____
NOVEMBER 20. 1998
Pam takes me to a luncheon at Barbi Benton’s home. It is super modern and has a heated driveway that melts snow. I have just come back from Bali. During lunch she urged me to expound about my travels. It seems that every time we go somewhere, she uses me as a entertainment kiosk for her friends. Barbi Benton, who still looks great was featured on the cover of Playboy and lived with Hugh Hefner in the 70’s. Barbi was sharing about her kids, Alexander & Ariana by George Gradow. They were around the same ages as Pam’s two children. Having taught childbirth to many stars in Santa Barbara and living around them has taught me that they are people like anyone else. I have never been impressed with their stardom but saw them as equals with jobs that depended on their notoriety. I was more interested in the poured concrete stark architecture.
_____
MARCH 11, 1999
Pam requests that I teach the Birds and Bees class for Trevor and Lois. I explain to her that she will have to be present while this instruction takes place. I pack up my large charts of illustrations and fly to Aspen. We assemble in the upstairs office. Pam has a crackling fire going. The Mexican maid also joins us. She is in her 30’s but I do not think she has ever had any sex education like this. Pam sits at her desk reading magazines as I do my lecture. Trevor acted like a “know it all” but he did not know everything. Lois and the maid were glued to my every word. I would have to ask Pam if she was listening.
That pissed me off.
_____
MAY 13, 1999
I don’t hear from you very much any more since you plucked Heather, Gary’s first daughter, out of NYC. Supposedly she is helping you with your STARBABIES project. It is so sweet of you to take her into your home. I remember Lois saying she wanted to go live with her when she was five. I have never met her nor even know what she looks like. You told me that Gary always loved his girls best. Good for the girls but not so good for the boys. You share that you are shaping her up and helping her to get a primo boyfriend. If anyone can teach her, you can. You could open a school on the subject. You put so much energy into your boyfriends.
_____
FEBRUARY 27, 2000
The night I arrived at the Aspen airport, Pam wasn’t her usual pretty controlled self. She looked washed out, with red eyes, silly and giggling. She confessed to doing Ecstasy all the night before and cooed about how wonderful it was. Why would you stay up all night and do drugs before your Aunt’s arrival? I notice a pattern of her being messed up each time I visit. Is she testing my love? Pam asked me to teach the maid how to cook and I spent hours in the shiny marble kitchen with the illegal Mexican working on a variety of creations. The maid was overwhelmed and I doubt if much sank in. Pam, why don’t you cook? Pam, why are you so stressed and unhappy? I listen to her until 4 am, next to the fireplace, about killing herself. This was not the positive Pam I had tried to influence through the years. I ask her why she would want to take her own life. She answers she is tired of raising two children alone. I recount her endless stream of domestics over the years and wonder how this could be so. Aspen itself is beautiful and my highlight was three wolves prancing across the meadow near Pam’s house. I am writing a poem about them.
Aspen Meadows church
THREE KINGS
For niece Pamela
Cradled in wooly blankets
our make believe sleigh glided over
Castle Creek Bridge
slid off Main Street
and circled the Highway 84 round about.
We turned toward the Highlands.
The stone bell tower of Aspen Chapel
lit our way past the Maroon Bells marker.
In the frosted meadow
under Thunderbolt Run
we saw the three grizzled gray wolves
prance across the glitt
ering snow
disguised as kings.
Lady Pamela spun her Land Rover on ice
illuminating their ruby red eyes.
Feared, hated and persecuted
the bloodthirsty villains of fairy tales
stood quietly majestic without malice.
Snug by the warmth of fire
we heard the three monarchs
howling at the moon
broadcasting their courtesy cry
of loyalty to the pack.
An advertisement of territory
in crystal thin air.
And in the morn,
just to make sure
we discovered three sets of tracks.
A design in the snowfield
authenticating their noble beings.
_____
FEBRUARY 29, 2000
It was a weird time for me in Aspen. I took on a maternal role but could not fix all that needed to be fixed. It was pandemonium there: the Mexican maid, who ran the whole household, threatened to quit. Pam was on her cell phone, constantly distracted, even on the gondola as we climbed to the top of Aspen Mountain. Every night there was a party somewhere. I watched Pam get very drunk on just two glasses of red wine, very much like my mother, like me, and for sure like her father Frank. I heard stories that revealed the depth of her partying -- spending the night in her car, passed out in the snowy driveway. Returning home early in the morning, loaded, putting on loud music, waking the kids. The children seemed afraid. Lois slept with the Mexican maid.
I had a long private talk with Trevor about our family’s tendencies toward alcoholism and escaping. One thing I know: I am blessed to have a sober background. I left them the benefit of my AA and family life wisdom. That is all I can do. But it was heavy to see all that behavior going on. Enough of that scene.
_____
AUSTRALIA 2000
NOVEMBER 3, 2000
I was invited to be a presenter at the 6th International Symposium on Sexual Mutilations at the University of Sydney, Australia. In Santa Barbara I took a defense class as I was not with a tour but solo.
I decided to dive the Barrier Reef. I had accomplished my world SCUBA diving quest.
_____
NOVEMBER 5, 2000
I selected Mike Ball’s Spoilsport live aboard for a week of SCUBA diving in the Coral Sea.
I am excited as this will include a shark dive in and out of cages. One day we encountered rough seas and a fellow passenger from North Carolina fell down in front of me. I rushed to assist her. Later we exchanged email addresses. I wanted to check and see how she faired. The shark dive was the apex for me but I am not sure about attracting sharks by chumming the waters. It seems totally unnatural.
Shark dive, Australia
_____
NOVEMBER 15, 2000
My next stop was a train ride up to Kuranda which is a quaint mountain village surrounded by rain forest. The thrill was riding the Skyrail cable car down skimming over the canopy of the rainforest.
_____
NOVEMBER 16, 2000
I was up very early to raft the Tully River. I was the only woman in my raft. I was the only one there my grandmotherly age (I’d say they were all in their 20’s).We did 5 hours of heavy and dangerous rafting through this World Heritage primal rainforest negotiating more than 45 Grade 4 rapids. Australians will do anything for a thrill. They are the boldest and most daring people I have encountered all over the world. And the most friendly and caring. It is the only country I’ve encountered where they do not want a tip!
A Scotsman with a pierced tongue was at the helm of my raft. I was the only woman. We were almost finished for the day with the river when we flipped in a rocky crevice. Big guys tumbled upon me. I saw my life flash before my eyes. There was a mantra : NOT LIKE THIS! I CANNOT DROWN! I relaxed like I tell my ladies in labor and soon I was free from the turbulent underwater hole and floated in the cold water. I shook for an hour afterwards. (The big guys were shaking also.)
Rafting in Australia
_____
NOVEMBER 17, 2000
I then flew down to Kangaroo Island to see the wildlife. The island is a pristine wilderness that offers protection to native Australian animals, a place of beauty in nature. I saw many kangaroo’s and learned about koalas. Wallabies hopped around the bush. Something new for me was the covering of our shoes in little booties to prevent contamination from the mainland.
_____
NOVEMBER 18, 2000
Back to Adelaide and up to Cooper Pedy mines where everything is underground. And I do mean everything. Even the hotel, the church, etc. I bought Paige, my beautiful daughter, an opal ring as that is her birthstone. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome was filmed there. Also The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert among others. I especially loved my sheepskin seats in the tiny plane that flew me there.
_____
NOVEMBER 20, 2000
Sydney was a fast moving city. After so much natural beauty, it rather jarred me. The cab drivers were from all over the world and didn’t know English. It reminded me of New York City, somewhat. Yes, the architecture of the opera house was interesting and my very favorite discovery was Pavlova which is a meringue-based dessert named after the Russian ballet dancer, Anna Pavlova.
_____
SYDNEY: NOVEMBER 20, 2000
PRINCE FOR A DAY, THE SUMBAWA CIRCUMCISION CEREMONY
by Royal Phillips. BA, A.C.E. (141 words)
In 1998, International childbirth Consultant, Royal Phillips was invited to give a speech to the Kongres Nasional XII Ikatan Bidan Indonesia in Bali. After this congress for Indonesian Midwives she headed out to the Banda Sea. Forty-one naked brown boy bodies aged four to eleven lined the Sumbawa Island shore. They cheered as the black Zodiacs carried the author and expedition ashore from the white ship anchored in the bay. The Indonesian Royalty announced that they would witness an exciting ceremony involving circumcision in the Muslim Kananga village. She watches the elders crown each boy prince for a day. She follows them to the wooden plank where one by one the children are crudely circumcised. Royal films and documents this mutilation of the innocent. This film speaks for itself.
_____
NOVEMBER 22, 2000
I delivered my speech and film and began to listen to the other presenters. A group from Korea presented the news that they were originally not circumcised until after the American G.I. arrived. I reflected on how we Americans influence the world. Even down to foreskins!
During lunchtimes, I teamed up with Dr. Paul Fleiss. A well-known Hollywood pediatrician. I had met Paul many years ago in Santa Barbara when we childbirth teachers brought him up to teach our obstetricians and pediatricians about breast feeding. We knew that man -to- man would be more effective. Paul and I would have conversations about how precious the new soul is. “I don’t know what happened to Heidi,” said Paul, speaking of his infamous daughter. Heidi Fleiss became one of the most influential madams in the world. She is famous for quotes: “I took the oldest profession on Earth and I did it better than anyone on Earth. Alexander the Great conquered the world at 32. I conquered it at 22.”
_____
JANUARY 5, 2001
The lady from SPOILSPORT diving boat, the one who fell down, sends me an email and she reports that everything from her fall during the Australian storm is healed. She invites me to visit her in the North Carolina Smokies. We talked about visiting in the spring or summer.
_____
JULY 1, 2001
I fly to Nashville to see The Grand Ole Opry with Gordon and Anne Herrald. They were friends formerly from Montecito.
They now live in Tennessee. They will give me a grand tour of eastern part of the state.
We stop at the largest fireworks shop I have ever seen. In California, you will be put in jail for fireworks. My sons would go crazy with the Black Cat explosives here. This is going to be fun. But what the hell is a Goo Goo Cluster?
What a different world!
; _____
JULY 6, 2001
My rented red Mustang carries me over Route 74 to 19 along the Nantahala River. I am now in the lush Smokies - The land of 250 waterfalls. The largest place of waterfalls in North America. I zoom past shining streams full of trout. I find Waynesville and my Spoilsport diving friend. After a short visit, she talked me into signing a contract with her real estate husband to buy a home here. Anything is possible. This North Carolina terrain is green and jungly. Waynesville is near the Cherokee Reservation.
I am thrilled to discover this part of the United States.
_____
AUTUMN, 2001
Eldest son, Randy and I fly to Waynesville to check out the area for possible new locations. The Craft Fair of the Southern Highlands was an absolute thrill. I had thought all the creative people were in California but I was wrong.
Randy and I took canoes down the French Broad River and went to the Biltmore House for tea.
He said, “Make an offer, Mom.” I wanted someone from my family to know this beautiful area. It was quite a daring adventure for me to move to the Smokies from Montecito, California.
Looking Glass Falls, NC
_____
FEBRUARY 20, 2002
The Starbabies chart has arrived for my new grand daughter, Tabatha. I love the layout. You have put together a most beautiful package for the parents to read. I love the Tiffany blue color. I don’t think you are charging enough for your product, however. I love the concept that parents can use the chart as a guide for their individual child to understand them as they grow. I love to read about the nature of my grandchildren’s character.
Congrats on your Starbabies, Pammie. I am proud of you for creating this.
_____
NOVEMBER 30, 2002
Today a large package arrives. In it is your portrait that is 22 inches by 29 inches. You know I have an ancestor wall that is full of photographs -- old family and more contemporary poses. At this house, they line the stairway walls. A history of the kids and grands growing up. There actually is no room for such a humongous portrait so I am hanging it in a place of it’s own. There you are holding your head with those oh, so beautiful hands. All the workman here are mesmerized by it. I find them standing dreamily in front of it. “Wow” they say. The men, old and young, have always said WOW when seeing you. I muse about how you were so worried about your looks growing up. One of your boyfriends has blown this up on a canvas product he is creating. When I call to thank you, you are laughing about how large it is. “Well, I say, you always liked being on the billboards!”
Ugly Duckling: A True Life Story of Beauty, Manipulation and Murder Page 8
