Beautiful Pam
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SPRING 2003
Pam calls me from Beverly Hills. She has just had plastic surgery on her face, lips and breasts. She was so beautiful that I had to comment on why this was necessary. Every woman in our family had ample breasts so I asked her “Why?” She replied, “They needed to be closer together and more perky.”
“And, what about your lips? You’ve always had luscious lips.”
“I know.” She slurred her words as she told me she now looked like a frog and was worried that the surgeon went too far. He had taken fat from her knees and put into her lips. All of this was paid for by Tom. Tom is Pam’s latest billionaire boyfriend. He has a private jet. He has a home in Aspen and other places. He is old enough to be her father. She really admires his business acumen and his philanthropy.
I remind her of her grandmother, Mutzie and all her face-lifts. “You do know how miserable your grandmother was, don’t you? Beauty comes from within, Pammie.”
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EARLY FALL 2003
I get a frantic phone call from Pam. I cannot believe my ears. Putzie has just called her and is in the USA. He’s alive! He illegally crossed the border from Mexico and has taken a bus to Tucson. He wants to go up to Aspen and see her. I tell her that under no circumstances is he to visit her in her new multi million-dollar home. His name is now Francisco. He has been living in Mexico for twenty something years. She agrees to meet him in Glenwood Springs down the valley from Aspen. She says he is asking if their dad left him any money. “That’s a joke”, I said.
Pam takes him to Kmart and buys him some clothes and a suitcase. She returns him to the bus station bound for Tucson.
She says, “It is so sad.”
I say, “But at least we know now that he is alive.”
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OCTOBER 19, 2004: MUTZIE’S BIRTHDAY
Dear Pam:
I wanted you to know that I cancelled my ticket for the 5th. I shall return after the retreat on Halloween. I just don’t want to get into The PAMELA PHILLIPS SHOW after doing the spiritual work I do. It is truly hard for me with your smoking and drinking. I am light years from that. It seems I have come to a place where I must separate again. I don’t think you have ever listened to me or learned anything I was attempting to teach you. I have just been a sounding board for the broken record routine. You are almost 50 years old. It is time to grow up and start to help your self. I have always had a shrink or therapist on board so I could learn and the AA principles and fellowship has always been there for me for these 34 years. I don’t think one can get well from our family history with out some sort of assistance. Your history is especially violent and crazy. You have a penchant for making things seem like they are okay when they are not. I would suggest you start to work on yourself. Without the pandemonium of having two men at once, you might be able to quiet down enough to see yourself. The trip is in seeing yourself INSIDE where no Botox will help. With all your funds, there is no excuse for not trying to learn about yourself. And I do not mean star charts. When you start to find Pamela, your children will benefit as well. Why not try it? All the other crazy stuff is getting you nowhere. You are wasting your brain.
This saddens me. I loved to pal around with you. I just cannot listen anymore. It is truly crazy making. The big question is: Not should you marry Tom or should you marry Bob, your other lover…Which guy owes you the most money…. The true question is will you help yourself? Will you stop all the madness of running away from yourself or will you continue to create it? You are now playing a dangerous game.
Know that you are always in my prayers.
I love you,
Aunt Royal
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FEBRUARY 3, 2005
Pam invited me to join her and Tom in Chicago. Tom’s secretary faxes me a request for a written itinerary of where I will take them on our Memory Lane exploration. But where we are going is where I came from as did Pam’s Dad. Not Pam. She was born in Missouri and grew up in Edina, Minnesota. Trevor and Lois will arrive from their schools, and we will have fun at the Peninsula Hotel, which Tom owns. One of my Waynesville friends loans me her full-length ranch mink coat. She says I will need it. No one has ever loaned me anything before, and I treat the fur like a newborn baby. Pam had relegated me to catching my own taxi at O’Hare, but I knew from the itinerary that everyone else was to be met by a chauffeur. Another first, I assert myself and ask to be met the same way. When I arrive, the driver helps me into the black town car. I travel back in my mind to my dear, sweet black Vinson who chauffeured me to school each morn. Without him I probably wouldn’t have gone to school. I wonder how this Memory Lane trip will be for me. Will I have nightmares? I will see how I have grown. I am amazed Pam is engaged to this much older man. But then, he is a billionaire.
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FEBRUARY 4, 2005
It is cold here. I look out the window of my suite and I behold the Tip Top Tap. My, oh, my -- that used to be my favorite tavern, with a view of Chicago sparkling below. Many dates took me there as a teen. I wonder where those boys are now? I have gone swimming in the beautiful Peninsula pool and we are waiting for Tom to take us to dinner. When I ask him where we will be dining, he can’t answer. It almost seems like he is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, which might explain his marriage proposal to Pam accompanied by a $500,000 diamond. Pam said a Brinks truck had rolled up to her Aspen home to deliver the engagement ring. She laughed and said, “I can’t help it if I have long fingers and need big stones.”
Peninsula Pool
Her kids love Tom, and I think he is a sweet guy who adores his three little Pug doggies. He is just so spacey. At dinner, Tom stares at and then comments on Pam’s plump lips. She shoots back, “Remember Tom, you really like what these lips do to you.”
Pam is concerned about Tom’s own grown children who are less than enamored with Pam’s presence. I can see why.
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FEBRUARY 5, 2005
Pam comes racing into my room in tears. She blurts out that Heather, Gary’s oldest daughter has contacted AMERICA’S MOST WANTED and they have a suspect named Ronald Young to feature on TV for the murder of Gary. Heather is excited about the possibility of finding her father’s killer. Clearly, Pam is not so excited and looks ashen. She says she has to find a good attorney and spends all day on the phone trying, fixated on Kobe Bryant’s lawyer. Pam explains she knows the guy they have caught. I have never seen her so emotional like this. She is usually a cool cucumber, not easily rattled. I tell her she has to tell Tom about this. When she finally does, Tom says, “It is your problem.” I selfishly am bummed and frankly am no longer moved by her melodramas. I wanted to show her kids the Museum of Science and Industry, the Chicago Art Institute, and shop at Marshall Fields. Instead we are now jailed in the Peninsula Hotel, not able to go anywhere today. I just hang out with her kids. Help! We call room service.
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FEBRUARY 6, 2005
An ultra-long limo pulls up to the Peninsula Hotel and all of us tumble in. Tom doesn’t like it that we have such a conspicuous vehicle. But eventually everyone gets settled in. We go off to the Stock Yards where our family company once took up a city block. Only a small brick building remains standing. I explain how my father started Griffiths Laboratories with two other gentlemen. Daddy was the salesman that put it on the map. My second brother helped put it even farther on the map after our father’s untimely death. We continued driving south to Beverly Hills, which had become a protected island with one street in and one street out to keep the encroaching neighborhoods at bay. I pointed out our English brick house on Pleasant Avenue across from the Dan Ryan Woods Preserve. On the other side of the street, my mother later built a large house in the California Ranch style, very unique for 1956 Chicago. We continued past Frank’s Morgan Park Military Academy, which was no longer Military. And then past Academy of Our Lady that my parents extracted me from in the 4th grade when the first colored gir
l enrolled. And then by the Loring School for Girls where I was taught to be “finished.” Finally to Beverly Country Club where memories of swim meets flooded my mind. Pam’s kids continued to listen to their new iPods Tom had bought them. Tom continued to doze, and Pam is constantly on the phone. I wondered why I had put this tour together. This tour was not of Pam’s life. The limo made its way to Burr Ridge Country Club where my big brother hosted a dinner for us.
Just who were we making an impression upon?
Pam and Tom
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FEBRUARY 7, 2005
Pam and I wake up early. We hurriedly eat our room service breakfast and go to Tom’s office, where his secretary introduces us to Jennifer Anderson, one of the top wedding planners in Chicago. Pam and I, the planner, and even the secretary spend hours roaming about the Peninsula Hotel, eventually settling on the Grand Ballroom for the April nuptials. Pam decides on an oriental theme, and I suggest creating a 4-foot Buddha, sculpted in ice, with golden light emanating from within. Pam requests EARTH WIND & FIRE to be secured. My love for hosting parties kicks in and I get very involved in planning this celebration. But in the back of my mind, I am astonished that Pam still wants to have this huge wedding. And that Tom wants to marry her, as this will be his third wife. It will also be Pam’s third husband. And then there’s that whole murder thing.
Regardless, Pam happily remodels her Aspen house again, this time using the no-limit credit card Tom gave her. She is very talented with interior design and has the cleverness to put a car wash in one of her many garages. I’ve known a lot of wealthy people and this is the first time I’ve heard of a personal car wash.
Pam’s Aspen home
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AFTER CHICAGO-FEB 2005
Pam Pam Pam…Have you told Tom about our crazy family history? I mean he has given you a half a million-dollar engagement diamond. Does he know anything about your father or Mutzie? When I ask you about this you smile and say that our family was not “so bad”. I see you shifting the reality a bit so that it will fit your next adventure. I worry and can only say, Good luck! I don’t think he knows what he is getting into.
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FEBRUARY 14, 2005
The chimes arrived! You are a dear for having these made for me. I like the idea that they are created by your birthday and time of birth. You chuckle about your Aspen girlfriend having a set with tiny tubes. Mine are big and long sending out a wonderful vibration. You have hung yours over your bed, near a fan. The music is supposed to “open our chakras”. I hang mine on the verandah outside of my bedroom so the breeze can make them sing. I attempt to read and interpret the Musical Aura Chart based on works by Edgar Cayce. I am reflecting on how you have surpassed me in the NEW AGE information world. I still love going to the magic store in Denver with you. Love that flash paper.
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DENVER, MARCH 25, 2005
I am returning from Estes Park where I attend a spiritual school twice a year. Pam and I have agreed to meet and stay at our favorite hotel, El Teatro on 14th Street. She doesn’t drive down town from the airport. She takes me on a surprise trip to a tall office building. We go up an elevator and when the doors open, there is a elegant spa before us. We have massages and pedicures. Pam tells me this is part of my birthday present. A sweet surprise! She tips everyone with 5’s and 10’s and 20’s. But then I am aware that this is not Pam’s money she is throwing around.
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OCTOBER 18, 2005
You always get lost from the Denver airport. In the new Land Rover from Tom, you don’t know how to work the GPS. We call the hotel and they guide us in. Pam -- you absolutely drive me crazy with your smoking. You tell me it isn’t THAT bad as I practically hang my head out the window. I ask you what you do with your smoking around all your dates. You tell me that you hide it. I wish you’d hide it from me!
After Epsom Salt baths, we’d sit under the duvets of down and sip our morning coffee. You always traveled with your French coffee maker. Your coffee rules and it should, as this is the only thing you know how to cook. We talk and talk but it is hard for me as I want to talk about new psychological findings from my seminar and you want to talk about all your men.
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NOVEMBER 21, 2005
Friends from Fort Lauderdale send me newspaper clippings about Young arrested in Florida on weapon charges. It seems Young had a storage unit that was filled with communications between himself and Pam. He had kept meticulous records of phone calls, letters and emails about the two of you. This doesn’t look good for you, uh, oh, Pammie.
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MARCH 20, 2006
I find out at my seminar in Estes Park, that there is a big sale in Boulder. They are featuring Norwegian Dale sweaters and I want to go. After we eat Cuban food and cruise through the Cry Baby Ranch store, I ask you to take me to the sale. You want to return to the Teatro to see if there are any messages from your men. The old me would let my desires go to appease you. I take back my power now. I ask you, “Am I going to have to take a taxi out to Boulder?” You say it’s too far. I call the concierge and get information. He says it is half an hour away. Then you say they probably do not have any more sweaters left. I call the concierge again and he calls the sports good store. He reports that there are plenty and they are half off. I have never asked you to do anything for me and today was pivotal. You take me and we spend hours in the store. You spend thousands of dollars. I buy the concierge a Dale sweater for his kindness for putting up with the Phillips girls!
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APRIL 5, 2006: CASTLE
You send me faxes about your upcoming trip to France with your daughter, Lois. A bunch of beautiful mothers that are friends of yours are going to this castle with their young daughters. I ask if you know the "owner-prince" of the castle. You say, "No." I say, "Aren't you going to investigate this scene before you go and make sure it is safe for all of you?" I think it is curious that this man is filling rooms with the very young girls and their mothers. But isn't it every girls dream to be at a real castle? Where are the concerned and responsible parents here? Once again, I have to let this worry go.
Menars castle
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SEPTEMBER 5, 2006
My friend Anne, who lives in Denver, sends me a troubling email about a story that just broke in the news: U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives Agents, along with detectives from the Pima County Sheriff's Department, burst with weapons drawn into the Aspen home of Pamela Phillips, 49, to execute a search warrant looking for clues that could link Phillips to her ex-husband's murder in 1996. Uh oh. For days Pam had been calling me, drugged and whining, about her botched Botox job. She says nothing about armed Federal Agents invading her home and instead complains about the technician at the beauty parlor hitting a major vein in her face, which she says “exploded.” She threatens to sue the parlor and asks me if she can come visit and get some care. She has never wanted to stay with me before here in North Carolina and still fails to mention the agents. I had reached my limit. I explain I am already nursing a friend who had her foot bones replaced and cannot care for two. Where is her maid? I tell her that she is a big girl, can pay to get someone to stay with her, or can go to her favorite spa, OHI in California, to rest and repair. A part of my heart hurts for not helping her. But now she was a suspect trying to run. And she didn’t tell me. I thought about how much the serenity I have worked so hard for meant to me. For the next few days, I tried calling all her numbers but there was no answer. Pam was nowhere.
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SEPTEMBER 13, 2006
I called some of Pam’s other friends, but still no answer. Everyone seemed to have vanished. I finally reached her best friend in Aspen who told me Pam had raced down to see her after the agents came to her home. Pam promptly downed several vodkas. The friend was worried about Pam and the mixing of the painkillers with alcohol. She said that despite their being friends for years, she did not know who Pam was anymore. Pam, she said
, was not the same girl. It seemed clear that the friend did not want to get involved.
Pam eventually got a hold of me and told me repeatedly about the horrible invasion. It was difficult for me to hear her ramblings. She still wanted to visit me so I could take care of her while her face healed with the help of heavy drugs. Pam said this was really showing who her friends were, and that they were running away like scared rabbits. It was very difficult for me to not attend to her. But I would not be manipulated anymore. A lawyer friend advised me to stay out of the scene. I heeded his words.
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ROYAL PHILLIPS EMAIL WROTE:
SEPTEMBER 10, 2006
Hi Pam:
I have called you for many days but no answer. Something's come up for me. This is not a good time to visit me. Cancel your ticket for now. I hope you are okay because I have not been able to reach you.
Love, Royal
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PAMELA EMAIL:
SEPTEMBER 11, 2006
Somehow I will be ok! I need all my strength now after that face thing and all the meds. Still a bad face scare... In your face as they say!!!!! Call me on my cell phone 9704041444.... my love to you... are you all right?
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OCTOBER 21, 2006
There is the late night call again. Pam reports that she is soon going to Argentina to do the tango. I remind her that it takes years to learn the tango. She has a list of places that are astrologically suitable for her to live in. She has another boyfriend from the west coast that also has a jet. He will meet her there.
Ugly Duckling: A True Life Story of Beauty, Manipulation and Murder Page 9
