Hold up wait a minute!
“And you didn’t think to ask me first?”
Jax stops and turns to face me. “Would you have said yes, Vivian? By that alone, you would’ve probably never have gone with me in the first place. And I really wanted to bring you here. Now, would you have said yes?”
“Are you gonna bite the back of my neck?” I ask. “Because if you’re anything like the roosters back home and you bite my neck, I’ll have to cut your dick off.”
Jax brings his palms up and runs them up and down over his face several times before tossing his arms out to his sides.
“Vivian, if I had a dollar for every time you came out of left field with some crazy shit, I’d be a rich man,” he says, interlocking his fingers behind his head. “Now, can we please just get to the hotel so we can shower and get some sleep? Or are we just going to stand here and talk about neck biting cocks all night.”
I can’t help the giggle that escapes me. He’s so disgustingly adorable it hurts.
“Fuck me running. You are confusing, woman,” he says, grabbing my hand. “Let’s go.”
As soon as we enter the hotel lobby— without a chance to breathe it all in— a young ladies voice chirps in. No, really. When she speaks, a chirping sound comes out of her lips. Weirdest damn thing ever.
“Welcome!”
Both Jax and I take a step back as Perky Penelope—her nametag actually says Penelope— comes out of nowhere and waves hello to us like a crazy loon.
“How may I help you tonight? Do you have a reservation or will you be booking in-house? Do you need help with your bags?” she asks, looking down almost seeming disappointed at the sight of no luggage.
“The reservation is under the name Jaxon Maddox, and I’ll be getting our luggage later.”
The woman continues to smile brightly while checking her reservation calendar. I can’t help it as I lean forward, quickly waving my hand in front of her face. She doesn’t flinch but continues to wear the pearly white toothy grin. I decide to lean in further and snap my fingers. Jax slaps at my hand and when I look up his eyes are narrowed in a ‘Stop that shit already’ look. I shrug my shoulders and look away.
“Oh! Here you are, Mr. Maddox! Ooh, and I see you’ve reserved our most requested suite here at the hotel. And let me just say that it is gorgeous beyond belief. You and Mrs. Maddox are going to love it!”
I cough. No, I literally choke on air at Perky Penelope’s assumption.
“Oh, no, Mrs. Maddox! Are you okay?” the woman asks, her hands covering her mouth. “I should call 911! You might need CPR or that Heimlich thingy, or even the paddles! I’m going to call!”
“No!” Jax jumps in while patting my back. “That won’t be necessary. Can we just please get our room key? Mrs. Maddox is really tired after our day at your amazing park.”
Again with the fucking choking!
“Are you sure?” she asks, fumbling with the room key card, and then giving me a sideways glance. “You look a little bluish, Mrs. Maddox.”
“Oh, for the love of lesbians!” I choke out, thrusting my hand in her face. “Key card please!”
Perky Penelope’s eyes widen as she hands over the key card. A slow, uneasy smile spreads across her face making her look like she just crapped her pants.
“Let’s go, husband!” I bark out at Jax. “We’ve got some fornication to get to! And I might just use my magical wand to keep your boloney pony stiff all night!”
And this time it’s the woman who chokes on air as Jax smiles at her, waggling his brows.
“Mrs. Maddox is ovulating.”
“Check out time is at eleven,” the woman hollers out to us as we make our way to the elevators. “And good luck with the ovu…lating!”
“Mrs. Maddox?”
Jax starts to cackle as soon as the elevator doors close. I want to punch him in the face…hard.
“It wasn’t very funny,” I tell him.
“Oh, it was funny as hell and you know it,” he replies, continuing to cackle like a damn idiot. “And the look on her face when you said fornication was priceless.”
“Keep laughing Mr. Maddox, and you will soon find out what it’s like not to be able to fornicate…ever.”
Jax reigns in his laughter and replaces it with a slow grin as he moves to stand next to me. He nudges my shoulder, apparently trying to get my attention and I ignore his ass.
“What’s the matter, Mrs. Maddox?” he says in a low sexy voice. He turns his body so he’s standing in front of me with his arms on either side of me. I react to his advances like a horny teenager in heat. It’s sick. It’s disgusting. But it feels so damn good. Jax runs his hand up my inner thigh and I nearly choke on air again. “Is your crusty empanada feeling a little neglected?”
With my hormones on the verge of exploding and hearing Jax’s talk about neglected empanadas, I reach down and cup his junk in my hand. The sound of breath catching in the back of his throat encourages me further. I grip a little firmer, running my nails across the seam of his jeans.
“And, what?” I ask, teasing him some more. “You think that you’re man enough to fill my meaty pastry with your creama?”
A wicked little grin spreads across Jax’s mouth. “I love the way you sexy food talk me.”
His mouth is on mine even though I’m smiling like a buffoon.
“Go on, Mrs. Maddox,” he says, running the tip of his tongue along the corner of my mouth. “You go jump in the shower and I’ll run out and get our stuff. And then maybe I’ll glaze that taco when I get back.”
Two minutes later…
Entering the hotel room I don’t even bother to look around and just head to the bathroom. I switch the shower water on, finish taking off the rest of my clothes and stop in front of the mirror. I run my hand down my arm. I can feel them. They are thick and intense. I turn around and glance over my shoulder. Even with the ink on my back, I can still see them. They’re thick and huge and travel the length of my back nearly reaching my ass. I hate them. And I hate the reasons they’re there. I loathe my past, especially the people who caused my pain.
Noticing the mirror start to fog up, I snap out of my trip down Memory Lane and step into the shower. It feels good to have the warm water run over the expanse of my body. It’s almost as if the spray is washing away every inch of a reminder of my childhood, my past. But in reality, the reminders will always be there and no amount of ink will ever hide them completely.
Tears flood my cheeks and it’s too hard to muffle the sobbing that quickly escapes my lips. I lean my head against the shower wall and let myself grieve for the little girl that had to endure so much pain. A little girl lost.
I don’t hear him when he steps into the shower, but I can feel him. I quickly turn around to hide the damaged skin on my back, but it’s no use. I wasn’t fast enough and it’s evident with Jax’s expression.
“What happened here?” he asks.
Slowly turning me back around, I hear his breath catch and I want to crawl in a hole and die. Since it happened nobody has ever seen the result of my fucked up childhood, the reminder that my parents had failed me, disregarding me like garbage. I screw my eyes shut and my body starts to shake as Jax traces my raised skin. When I feel his lips touch the worst of it a loud, uncontrollable, pent up sob erupts from my lips.
“I don’t know what happened here, Vivian, and as much as I’d like you to tell me, I’ll never ask you the reason behind these,” Jax says, continuing to kiss my scarred skin. He brings his lips up to my ear and says, “But I’ll be here if you ever want to tell me.”
I whip around and throw my arms around his neck; tears streaming down my cheeks. I wrap my arms tighter and kiss him as if my life depended on it. The kiss is violent and raw. I bring my hand down between his legs and grab a hold of what I need.
“Make me forget, Jax,” I tell him through kisses and tears. “Please, just make me forget.”
Words are all but lost as he grips the backs of my thig
hs, lifting up and enters me slow and gentle. My skin starts to prickle under the warm spray of water and I shiver. He presses further into me. I want more of him, hard and fast. My brain wants to forget everything and just feel this beautiful man until my body gives out.
“Fuck me, Jax,” I say and clamp my teeth down on his earlobe. “Fuck me hard until I forget everything but this. Everything but us.”
I damn near whimper when he lifts me off of him, slowly pulling out and leaving me with an aching void.
“Bend over and grab hold of the faucet knob with one hand and the towel holder with the other…tight.”
As soon as my hands find their positions, Jax slams into me with such a force my head nearly hits the tile wall. Over and over again he drives his thick, long, hard cock into my needy pussy and I yell out in pure, white hot bliss.
“Like that, baby?” he asks, threading his fingers through my hair and pulling hard. “Is this how you like to be fucked?”
I press my ass back against him and say nothing because words have absolutely failed me. But I want more. I need more of him.
“More. Give me more.”
And he does. A hard smack against my ass sends me reeling. He gives me exactly what I want. Over and over again. Thrust after sweet penetrating thrust, he enters me and continues to pull my hair until my head cannot bend any further. But I want it to. I want the feeling to slice into me to cut into every nerve ending, fraying them at the edges.
“Make me come, Jax.” Another sob rips through me, tearing me down to my core. “Take it all. Everything.”
And he does. With a hard upwards thrust I come undone around him, sobbing. My hands grip onto their positions until my knuckles turn white. I feel euphoric.
In one swift movement, I’m encased in Jax’s arms as he holds me tight against him. I know he didn’t finish and I don’t feel shitty about that. This wasn’t about him.
We don’t speak to each other as he lifts me into his arms and carries me to the huge bed. It was made for a princess and I am anything but one. He lays behind me, kisses the back of my neck and holds me close to his chest.
Sleep doesn’t come easily for either of us.
Chapter Seven
I slowly open my eyes and silently curse the blaring sun. The smell of breakfast assaults my senses and my nose does a happy dance at the smell of bacon. My love affair with bacon is probably an unhealthy one, to say the least. But if I could live off the shit without kicking the bucket from a coronary, I most definitely would.
When my brain finally registers that Jax isn’t lying in bed next to me and I don’t hear him anywhere in the room, I start to panic. Did he fucking leave me here? Bastard!
I slip out of the bed, with only a sheet covering me, and go hunting down my blind date. The suite is huge, larger than any hotel room I’ve ever been in. Shades of white, soft gray and gold litter the expanse of the room, Portraits of various princesses line the walls. As I make my way into the living area I search the room for Jax; he’s still nowhere to be found. I hit the jackpot when I see a stainless steel cart off to the left, full of every breakfast item you can imagine. From Belgium waffles, fresh squeezed orange juice, hot maple syrup, and a platter lined with bacon and sausage; it’s a breakfast lover’s paradise.
As I pick up a glass of juice, I hear a noise on the balcony. Rounding the corner I step out onto the large concrete area and see Jax nose deep in the newspaper. I don’t let him see me as I lean against the wall and watch him. He is so painfully beautiful. In all honesty, I have never met a man like him…ever. If it were anyone else, they’d be tossing my ass out the back of the car without a moment’s notice. And last night? My fuck, that was the most amazing sex I’ve ever had, even though it was full of emotion that I, quite literally, can’t believe I let show.
“Hungry?”
I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Jax’s voice. Apparently, my stealthy ninja skills aren’t as stealthy as I’d like them to be.
“Not really,” I say, knowing damn well that I’m starving my ass off. “What time did you want to get out of here? I have to work tomorrow so I’d like to get back home early. If not, I can always rent a car.”
Jax gets up and walks over to me. A part of me wants to stop him; back up so he can’t get within five feet of me. If I were him I’d have seriously bolted last night after my blubbering fest.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Vivian.” Jax brings his hand up to my cheek and softly kisses me on the lips. “Sleep well?”
“Not really.”
“You sure? ‘Cause you snore like a man. Just saying.”
“The hell you say!” I tell him as he enters the suite. “I’m a quiet sleeper. Never had issues with snoring. You on the other had. You’re like a lumberjack!”
“Don’t get it twisted, baby,” he says, “that was all you.”
Dude is seriously going to get kicked in the shins.
“Can we just get out of here? I wrap myself tighter in the sheet. “I think I’ve had my fill of princesses, pirates, and psycho tea cups.”
“You going to eat first?” he asks.
“I’ll probably shove the rest of the bacon in my purse before we leave. You know, take out.” I shrug, and then make my way to the restroom to finally put some damn clothes on.
With everything packed up in my overnight bag, I head on out to the living area. Jax is standing next to the door with his backpack resting near his feet. I can’t place the vague expression on his face. It’s unreadable.
“So…” I say, clasping my hands together. “…can we get on the road now?”
“Did you have fun, Vivian?”
“Um, yeah.” I look around at nothing, feeling slightly put on the spot. “It was alright.”
Jax nods his head and that vague expression is still on his face, only now, it makes me slightly uneasy. He shifts his eyes to the ground scrunching his brows together. Then he looks at me, and I swear it’s almost painful to look at.
“Just alright, huh?” he asks, but it’s really not a question at all. “Was it just alright when I made love to you last night? Or how about when I kissed you? Or maybe even when I held you in my arms while you cried? Was that just alright, Vivian? Because, that shit, to me,” he says, jabbing his thumb toward his chest, “is something I will never, ever forget. But you? You just stand there like it didn’t mean anything to you. You are so eager to get rid of me. Why? Because of those scars on your back? Is that it?”
“Fuck you, Jax!” My defense mode kicks in and it doesn’t take long for the bitter bitch to show face. “How dare you presume to know anything about me? You don’t know shit! You only know what I want you to know, you fucking asshole!”
When I try to move past him, Jax effectively blocks me in a corner, his arms on either side of me. My breathing speeds up and I almost feel dizzy at his nearness. He’s inches from my face and all I seem to want to do is angry kiss him to death.
“And that’s where you’re wrong, Vivian. I know more about you than you think.”
“Let me out of here before I scream.”
“I know that you’re hiding from something that happened to you in your past. From what I can tell, it must’ve been probably pretty horrible considering those scars on your back.” Jax’s eyes bore into mine. “And whoever did that shit to you deserves to suffer. But, Vivian, it wasn’t me. I didn’t do those things to you. I didn’t mar your perfect skin. I didn’t cause that pain you endured and I sure as hell would be glad to put whoever had done that into their fucking grave. But, baby, if you keep pushing the ones who want to love you away, they might just stay away.”
“Fuck you, Jaxon Maddox!” I yell inches from his face. “Don’t you get it, you fucking idiot? I never wanted this in the first place. I didn’t want it then and I sure as hell don’t want it now. And you? Yeah. I don’t fucking want you either. And whatever you think you know about me, you can bury that shit because you know nothing! Now get the fuck out of my way. This whole situatio
n is fucking suffocating.”
Jax backs up only a fraction, just enough for me to slip by and grab the door knob.
“Give me a minute to check us out of here and I’ll get you home.”
“Go fuck yourself and do not ever come looking for me. Because if you do, I will chop your fucking balls off,” I tell him as I walk out the door. “Happiest place on earth my ass!”
Chapter Eight
Ice cream.
Cake.
Ho Ho’s.
Double chocolate layered cake.
Cherry cheesecake.
“What are you trying to do…kill yourself by sugar death?”
“Go suck an ass, you blind date setter upper! And go find someone else’s life to destroy with your mediocre matchmaking skills,” I bark out at Cass as I shove another heaping spoonful of cherry chocolate chip ice cream into my mouth. “You ruined my life!”
“On the contrary, Viv, you’re doing a fine job of that all on your own.” I almost cut her down at the knees when she snatches the five-quart ice cream bucket along with the big wooden spoon from my grip. “And look at this place. It looks like a trash can threw up in here! What are you trying to do, grow your own penicillin dispensary?”
“Fuck Off!”
“No. No, I will not fuck off!” Cass says and starts picking up empty pizza boxes, frozen burrito wrappers and other miscellaneous food wrappers and containers off of my living room floor. “You need to get your head out of your butt and snap out of this pity party you’ve got going on. If I were anyone else, they’d have thrown your ass in a padded room already. You’re starting to act like your mother.”
In a snap, I’m off of the couch and in my best friends face. “I am nothing like that pathetic, weak minded woman! Take it back! Take it back now!”
Cass doesn’t back down and that in and of itself surprises the hell out of me. We are polar opposites. Where I will jump in head first into a bare-knuckle fist fight, Cass will convince her opponent that the world revolves around unicorns and bunnies and they all want us to live in harmony. And for her, it always works.
Bitter Page 5
