Not thinking about it anymore, she dialed Court’s number and brought the phone to her ear. Her heart was beating so fast she could hardly hear herself think. Someone on the other line picked up, and she heard loud voices, cursing, and female laughter. God, was he with someone right now? It would be so contradictory to the way he had acted toward her and how he told her he had claimed her.
“Lilly.”
She was a little shocked to know that he knew it was her, but maybe Roan had given him her number? “Hi. It’s not too late to call you, is it?” The loud noises faded away, and she heard a door opening and then closing.
“It’s never too late. You call me anytime you want, no matter the hour.” His deep voice came through the line like a warm caress, and she smiled at his words.
“You might regret that.” She laughed softly, teasing him because she was so sick of this dread and uncertainty she felt inside that she just wanted a moment of peace.
“Lilly, nothing you could do would make me think that.”
She swallowed and moved back over to her bed and sat down. “I, uh.” She licked her lips and hated that she was so nervous talking to him, but it had been a long time since she was in this situation, and as hard as it was to forget, all she kept thinking about was the last time they had been around each other.
“You’re okay?” There was genuine worry in his voice.
“I’m okay, just can’t sleep and wanted to talk to you.”
“You did?”
She couldn’t help but smile at the surprise now in his voice. “Yeah, I did.” There was a moment of silence. “I—”
“Since I’m awake, and you can’t sleep, maybe I can come see you?”
Okay, that hadn’t been what she thought he would say. “Really? It’s pretty late.”
“I don’t care how late it is because I want to see you. I’ve been trying to for the last two days.” There was a desperate note in his voice, and it was so strange because Court had always been in control at all times.
“I don’t want to take you away from anything.” She still heard the female’s laugh close to the phone, and hated that she was self-conscious enough to let that bother her.
“Nah, there isn’t anything that could keep me away from you.”
Oh. Well. Wow.
“Give me twenty and I’ll be over.” There was this almost hitch in his voice after he said that. Maybe it meant excitement?
“Okay.” There was another round of silence, but this time it wasn’t awkward. After they said their goodbye she disconnected the call and just sat there staring at her phone for a few seconds. Finally she forced herself to stand and grabbed an oversized sweater and a pair of leggings. She wasn’t about to see Court in her old ass sleeping shirt, even if he was just coming over to talk.
Once she was dressed and it had been about twenty minutes, she started to get really nervous and continuously picked at the edge of her shirt. It was horrible feeling this way, but she couldn’t help it. Of course she wanted more with Court, but common sense told her that if it happened that way all those years ago, why would this time be any different? As if her thoughts conjured him she heard the sound of a motorcycle coming closer, and then saw her phone light up with a text.
Court: I’m outside. Is it okay to come in? Or if you are feeling up to it we can go for a ride?
A ride? Aside from her ribs being a little sore and her face looking all screwed up she only felt a little discomfort now, and she wondered if she had all this adrenaline pumping through her body because Court was here? She certainly wasn’t hurting like she had been before he had called. But getting on the back of his bike probably wasn’t the best idea right now, at least not until she was fully healed.
How about you come inside?
She sent the text to him and then set her phone on the bedside table. Her room was on the other side of the house from her mother’s room and had a set of sliding glass door that led out to the small bedroom patio. Roan’s room was in the basement, so he was far enough away he wouldn’t hear them talking. She just didn’t want anyone thinking they were doing more than that, not in her mom’s house, or after all the shit that had happened the last couple of days.
He hadn’t sent a text back, but right before she grabbed her phone and sent another text she heard heavy footsteps on the patio right outside her sliding doors. A second later there was a light tapping on the glass door. Her palms were suddenly so sweaty, and she wiped them on her thighs. She stood and walked over to the door, unlocked it and slid it open. He didn’t move inside right away, but they did stand there for several seconds and just stare at each other.. Even with only the light of the moon casting a glow from behind him Lilly could see how muscular and tall he was. Lilly had always been on the thick side, and having a size sixteen frame had made her feel fat all through high school. Now she was comfortable in her curvier frame, but being so close to Court made her feel small and petite. The shadows concealed the front half of him partially, but it didn’t cover the clear cut under his eye or the bruises that marred his cheek.
“God, are you okay?” She went to reach up and touch his face, but as fast as lightning he took hold of her wrist, stopping her, and brought her open palm to his lips He kissed the center of her hand, and her heart picked up pace. Maybe she shouldn’t feel desire right now, but even with the small wounds he was still so damn attractive, maybe even more so because of them. He looked hardened, so powerful, and like no one could take him down. She hated to see what the other guy looked like. God, her feelings for him were as strong as ever.
“I’m good, Lilly. It’s just a little cut.” He kissed the center of her palm once more, and she swore he inhaled her wrist before he let her hand go. “You’re doing okay?” Even speaking so low that it was almost a whisper his voice was so deep and masculine.
She nodded and stepped back. “I’m okay.” Why did she feel so nervous right now? When he didn’t move forward she stepped aside and smiled up at him. She didn’t miss the dark look that covered his face as he clearly got a look at hers.
“You hurting, baby?” He stepped inside, and she closed the door behind him.
“Just a little, but really, I’m fine.” For a moment he just looked at her room, and all she did was inhale the scent of male that came from him. It was everything she remembered and more, and she actually felt herself leaning toward him, as if she just had to get closer. He turned away from her and glanced at her room. When he faced her again the intense heat that came from him had her taking a step forward. She instantly felt her cheeks heat at the fact she had been moving toward him without even realizing it. He was potent and intense in only the best of ways.
He reached out to touch her, but he didn’t stop like her mother and Roan had. Instead he very gently cupped her cheek that was uninjured. “I want to kill him all over again for what he did to you.” He rubbed his thumb over her cheek bone, back and forth, so very gently. It sounded like he was almost talking to himself, but she didn’t respond anyway. Lilly didn’t know what to say to that.
For a moment all she did was soak in the feel of Court’s fingers on her. It was an innocent touch, but coming from him it meant so much more to her. “You killed him.” She didn’t phrase it like a question, because it wasn’t one. She had known what Court and Roan had done, but she felt no anger or remorse that the asshole that had hurt her was dead. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but he also didn’t let go of her face. Finally, after what seemed like forever of him just brushing her cheek with his thumb, he dropped his hand. Instead of moving away he reached out and pulled her into the warm hardness of his chest.
“Would it change the way you thought of me if I told you I fucking liked killing that prick?”
She rested head rested right over his heart and heard the steady, strong sound of it beating right below her ear. The crazy thing was it didn’t upset her that he and Roan had killed that man. She wrapped her arms around him even tighter. “No, it wouldn’t.�
� If she just kept her eyes closed and let her mind wander she could imagine that they were five years in the past in some kind of alternate world where she had always been with Court.
“He deserved far worse than I gave him.”
Lilly curled her fingers into the back of his shirt and breathed out. She had been missing this for so long, and she hadn’t even realized how much she had missed it until this very moment.
“We have a lot to talk about,” Court said in that gruff voice of his.
Yeah, they did, but she didn’t want to move out of his embrace. Lilly forced herself to move away, though. Her bedroom was small and still had trinkets around that she had collected while in high school. At the time she had collected that stuff it had seemed cute and held memories of a time past, but now it just seemed childish as she stood in the center of her room with Court. He took her hand and led her over to the bed. Once they were seated and she faced him, he reached out and smoothed his hand down the side of her head. For a second he just cupped her head, and then he smoothed that hand over her shoulder and down her arm to rest on her hand once more.
“This seems all so strange, Court.” Could he hear her heart beating like a freight train? Could he see how nervous she was? Dammit, could he see the light perspiration that had started to form on her brow because she was aroused and confused, and had about a hundred other emotions moving through her? Don’t be stupid, Lilly. This man is not a man at all, not really. He is a bear shifter, and can probably sense your emotions better than you can.
“Yeah, I know, baby.” He squeezed her hand and smiled down at her. It looked almost ridiculous to have this huge man on her twin sized bed. “It shouldn’t have taken all this time for me to realize that pushing you away, distancing my friendship with Roan, and thinking that what we had done would ruin everything because I betrayed my best friend, was the right course of action.” He looked down at the ground for a suspended moment. “Because of how I acted I have a broken friendship, five years of missed time with you.” He looked at her then. “It is fucked up that it takes me looking at you, knowing that I wasn’t with you to protect you, to make me realize that I fucked up big time.”
Lilly’s pulse was racing at hearing Court’s words. She hadn’t known where she expected this conversation to go, but she hadn’t thought Court would reveal this much. “I knew that what we had done wasn’t right because of your friendship with my brother, but I cared for you a lot back them, Court … still do.” She said the last part more on a whisper, but she saw the flare of his nostrils, and for some reason she just knew that he was pleased.
“Did you remember that graduation party your mom threw for you?”
She nodded.
“And that Zack douche was hitting on you?”
Lilly blinked a few times at hearing Court bring that moment up. “Yeah, I remember, but—” She knitted her brows and looked down for a moment. She remembered that day vividly, but what she didn’t remember was seeing Court there. “But how did you know Zack was hitting on me? Weren’t you working?” She knew Roan had invited him, but to her disappointment he had been working late.
He slowly shook his head. “I was supposed to be working late, but I headed out early. I stopped by and saw you sitting on the deck with a few of your friends around. You were wearing this yellow and blue dress, and you had left your hair down.” He lifted his hand, grabbed a piece of her hair, and ran the strands between his thumb and forefinger. “I could smell you even from the distance. It was this soft cotton scent, like freshly laundered clothing that had been dried in the sun.” Any other time if someone would have said that she smelled like laundry she would have told them that was a ridiculous description, but hearing it from Court somehow made it sound so erotic. “Up until that moment I had never seen you other than Roan’s little sister. You were ten years younger than me, and I knew going after you was wrong on many levels.” Hearing Court confess all of this was so surreal. She just wished he would have said something sooner. “And then that Zack kid went up to you, and I could smell how badly he wanted you. This anger rose up in me, and I became so fucking pissed. I was determined that no one would have you but me.” His voice was so rough after he said that, and there was this slight growl to his words. He looked away from her for a second, and she could hear him grinding his teeth, as if he were remembering that day and how angry he had been.
Lilly couldn’t help herself. She reached out and cupped his cheek and used a slight amount of pressure to turn his head so he was now looking at her. “I wish you would have told me this years ago, Court.”
He lifted his hand and covered her hers with it. “It took me this long to realize that I wish I would have. After you and me—” He grew silent for a moment, but she didn’t try to rush him. This conversation was a long time in coming. “After I took you in the back of my truck I knew I had fucked up.”
Warmth filled her at hearing him say those words, and then at the memory of that night that slammed into her head. A low sound left him, and her nipples hardened instantly. She shouldn’t have this reaction right now, because it seemed grossly inappropriate, but it was like her body had a mind of its own.
“I can smell how much you want me, Lilly, and if I don’t get this out now I know that I won’t be able to later.” He leaned in an inch, and she surprised herself by staying right where she was.
“Why won’t you be able to talk to me later?” Those words left her on a low rush of air, and she couldn’t think of why she would ask him that. He leaned in another inch, so close now that she could smell his warm, minty breath that was lightly laced with the scent of hops.
“Because I’ll be taking you like I did all those years ago, but this time I won’t run away because I was too fucking afraid of how I felt for you, and worried about what would happen between Roan and me.” She sucked in a deep breath and slowly released it. “And I was scared, Lilly, but not just about how I thought it would ruin my friendship with Roan, but because I was afraid of the way my bear wanted you just as much as my human side did.” Before she could say anything he had his mouth on hers. He was gentle and coaxing and didn’t try to rush her. He cupped the uninjured side of her face once more and tilted her head to the side so he could deepen the kiss. The feeling of him stroking her tongue with his, and moving that thick muscle along the inside of her mouth until she felt like a warm puddle before him, had her softly moaning against his lips. He broke the kiss far too soon, and she forced her eyes open.
“I could kiss you all night, but I want to continue talking, Lilly.”
She nodded and licked her lips, tasting him on her mouth. “Okay.” He leaned in and softly kissed her this time with no tongue. When he pulled away there was so much emotion on his face that it was hard for her to breathe, given how strongly it filled the air between them.
He smoothed his hand along her cheek, and that spark of arousal was still there, although it was pushed aside when this serious look crossed his face. “After that I immersed myself in fixing anything with wheels. I distanced myself from Roan, feeling like a worthless bastard because I felt I betrayed him by being with you.” She had assumed as much. “It was hard staying away, and over time Roan and I just went our separate ways. Your mom got sick, and you both had so much on your plates.”
She remembered him coming by when they first found out her mom had cancer. They hadn’t spoken, and at that time it had been such a long time since everything had gone down that being in his presence had been just awkward.
“It was hard having you pull away like that, but I knew it was because you thought we had done was wrong. There was a part of me that had felt that I had betrayed Roan, too.” She looked down at her lap, about to admit to him what she hadn’t told anyone. “I knew doing anything with you would have repercussions, and knew you’d probably never look at me the same way again.” She looked at him. “But I never thought it would ruin your relationship with my brother. For that I am truly sorry. It is all my fault, because I co
uld have stopped it, but I didn’t. I was selfish, Court.”
He shook his head and leaned in to kiss her again.
“No, baby, none of this was your fault. You were so young. I was the one that knew better, but I wanted you so damn badly.” He kissed her again, and again, and soon they were locked in an intimate embrace, and the past was pushed aside as their desire for each other rose to an uncontrollable level.
She moved closer and pressed her breasts to the hardness of his muscular chest. She was sore, but he was easy and soft as he ran his hands up her sides, and over her breasts. But there was a hesitance in him, and she just knew that they wouldn’t go as far as she wanted them to, at least not tonight. That was okay because after waiting so long she wasn’t in a rush to end this. She wanted to go slow and easy, and take her time. But on the heels of that thought she pulled back and looked into his face.
“What’s wrong, baby? Am I going too fast? Being too rough?”
She smiled and shook her head. Heck, they weren’t going fast enough, but she knew there wasn’t any rush in being with him. “No. I just don’t know where we stand. I mean, I haven’t told Roan about us yet, although I know he isn’t stupid and has already figured it out.”
“I should have told him the moment it happened, and I should have told him that I cared about you, but my ignorance hurt the both of you. I lost out on time with you and getting to know you on a level that wasn’t because you were Roan’s little sister.” He smiled at her, and it broke her heart at how much he seemed like he was in pain. “But I also lost five years with a man that I care for like a brother. I was blinded by my own selfishness, but I want to rectify that, now.” He pulled her into a hug, but she didn’t resist. They both needed the comfort.
Nothin' But Trouble Page 7
