A few hours and too many bottles of champagne later, we are laughing and talking at our half-round booth that overlooks the dance floor. The DJ opens the dance floor.
Paul stands and reaches his hand across the table. "Let's tear it up, K."
I take his hand and slide around, bumping against Alex to get him to let me out. "I'll be back for you, Mr. Stone." I lean in and kiss him before Paul pulls me toward the dance floor.
Paul and I share a love of dancing and are typically the first, and last, ones on the dance floor. My life has been so chaotic and depressing that I haven't danced in a long time. It's been even longer since I actually enjoyed it.
A sense of freedom takes over me, however, and I'm ready to have fun again. Paul swings me around, and we laugh loudly, undeterred by the onlookers scoffing at the lone couple on the dance floor.
By the next song, they loosen up and join us.
I glance over at the table. Two women are talking to Ryan and Alex. I poke Paul and point. We're used to women approaching Ryan while Paul and I dance. They assume he is the third wheel on our date, which is hysterical to us since it's so far from the truth. Ryan doesn't enjoy dancing and will only slow dance with me on rare occasions.
Halfway through the song, I glance back to the table. One of the women is gone, but the other lingers, talking to Alex. A strange feeling sweeps over me—it's raw, and possessive. The woman drops her hand onto Alex's arm, throws her head back, and laughs. I dig my fingers into Paul. Alex smiles at her, but shakes his head no to whatever she is asking.
The music ends. I step away from Paul and leave the dance floor without a word. My jaw throbs from clenching it so tightly. I nudge my way in between the Alex and the uninvited woman.
"Excuse me," I say, without looking at her. I grab Alex's hand and pull him from the booth. "Come on, babe. They're playing our song."
The woman steps in front of me. "Excuse me? I was just asking him to dance."
I walk past her without acknowledging she's spoken.
Alex chuckles. "Sorry," he says to her. "It's our song."
On the dance floor, he slips his arm around my waist, and gathers me close to his body as the music starts. He kisses the tips of my fingers, the palm of my hand, and works his way up my arm before draping it around his neck. He's making a statement to the woman—who rejoins her friends—that he is indeed mine. My ever-present skepticism over our relationship slowly diminishes.
A cocky grin spreads across his face. "Miss Tate, are you jealous?" His voice is low and close to my ear as we sway to the music.
"Only when there's a rival for your attention."
"Baby, no one has my attention but you. A thousand women could approach me, and I'd still only see you. You have me—entirely."
Alex's eyes are bright and alive, and I swear he can see straight into my heart.
"Tonight at least."
"Every night," he insists.
"Until you get tired of me."
Alex holds me tight against him. "Baby, that's never going to happen, so I guess you're stuck with me." His breath heats the side of my face, and he trails soft kisses down my neck.
My heart pounds against the confines of my chest. A jolt of desire scorches through my body. "Likewise, Mr. Stone," I say over the lump in my throat.
"Good," he murmurs. "I'm glad that's settled."
His lips, soft and full, crush mine, and I no longer care that we're in the middle of a restaurant with people gawking at us. Our breathing is heavy but in sync, and our bodies sensuously meld together. I'd give just about anything to stay in this moment.
Everything he has said to me shows me how he feels about me, how he wants to protect me, his caring and concern, the happiness and joy—but I have been too mistrustful of my own instincts. I have what I've been dreaming of, and he seems to want the same thing.
I plan to hold on to Alex with everything I have, and I'm never letting him go.
Chapter Nineteen
Dancing, drinking, and laughing lasted well into the wee hours of the morning until we finally dragged our drunken tired bodies back to Alex's house.
It's well past noon when we finally wake and start round two. Lounging around Alex's pool and hot tub, while Alex makes margaritas for us. It's hard for me to take my eyes off of him in his navy-and-gray board shorts that sit low on his hips. The muscles in his chest and arms flex with each movement he makes. And his messy hair, unshaven scruffy face, and dark sunglasses send shivers through my body that make my core quiver with need.
Paul and Alex slip into an easy discussion about stocks, bonds, and diversification in the market. By the time they get to tax shelters, Ryan and I can't take anymore.
Ryan stands and grabs my hand. "Okay, boys, you talk boring business crap, and Kylie and I are going to take a walk."
I lean across the bar and kiss Alex before Ryan and I head across the large lush green grass, hand in hand, giggling like a couple of kids.
We swing our latched hands back and forth between us in the warm summer sun.
"How did you guys end up staying over here at Alex's place?" I ask.
"I called your cell Friday night to set up plans for Saturday. Alex recognized my name on the caller ID and answered it. I nearly hung up on him, thinking I had the wrong number. Anyway, he told me you fainted after coming home from work, but had no idea what happened and couldn't wake you. I guess he has a doctor that makes house calls and was on the way over here. Alex sounded completely stressed out, so I told him that Paul and I were on our way. When we got here, he offered to let us stay. So here we are."
We walk a little farther before Ryan stops and faces me.
"The doctor was examining you by the time we got here. I swear, if it weren’t so tragic, it would've been hysterical. Paul and Alex pacing back and forth—Paul at one end of the hallway and Alex at the other." Ryan grins and shakes his head. But the grin across his face turns serious. "When the doctor came out, he told Alex he thought you'd been given a high dosage of Rohypnol."
We walk to the bluff that overlooks the ocean and sit on the boulders.
"Paul lost it and started yelling at Alex, accusing him of not protecting you from John. I felt really bad for Alex, but he just stood there and took the blame for it."
Of course he did. "He feels responsible for me, for making sure I'm safe. He thinks he's failed me by allowing John to get that close and hurt me again."
Ryan nods and looks out at the water. "Well, after that, Paul got pissed at you for not listening to Alex and staying clear of John and anywhere he might be."
I chuckle and smile, but there's no humor in either. "I'm pissed at myself for that one. It's not like I'm not aware the extremes John will go to."
Ryan gazes at me. "Well, Paul turned it on himself, ranting about how he should've taken care of John when he—well, that night."
A pensive look crosses his face. He and Paul are often unsure of my reaction when they mention the night John beat me. I've never given them any specifics. By the time they found me, I had already locked away the mental horrors—until the night Alex freed the demons and the pain.
I squeeze Ryan's hand and smile. "It's okay. I'm okay. Alex convinced me to talk about it. I can't tell you how much it's helped. I feel like I can breathe again."
The sun beats down on us. The waves crash on the shore below, and the scent of salt water wafts around us.
"Can I ask for your opinion, professionally?" I ask, and break the solitude.
Ryan narrows his eyes and slides them over to mine. "Meaning, you want to invoke patient-doctor confidentiality?"
"Yeah."
He shrugs. "Sure. Ask away."
I take a deep breath, not entirely sure how to start. There are so many things I need to work out, but everything in my life is punctuated with a question mark these days, and it makes it hard to sort things properly.
"Alex is really protective of me. Overly protective. Is that normal, given we've known each other barely t
wo weeks?"
Ryan sits sideways on the rock so he's facing me."What do you mean by overly protective?"
"Well, he nearly beat John to death for tossing me up against a wall at the gala. Threatened to kill John if he ever touched me again. The first time Alex promised to protect me was the weekend we were on his boat. He uses words like always and forever. I'm staying at his house so he can keep John away from me." I take a deep breath and hold it a moment. "Why do you think he takes my safety so personally?"
"If I had to guess, I'd say it's a reflection of something in his past. It has a profound effect on him that's spurred an intense need to provide protection. You may remind him of someone in his life who's been hurt."
"He's mentioned something like that in passing but won't go into details." I hate that Alex doesn't feel he can talk to me about his own demons.
"He's probably never had a relationship based on sharing, K. You have your own issues with trust, but you're still able to find a way to open up and let him in. He still has to work through his own. It might hurt too much to revisit the past, and he just can't face it. If that's the case, it's easier to dismiss it rather than deal with a deeper realization of what happened."
"But is his level of protectiveness normal?" I ask.
"Do you feel safe?" Ryan counters.
I nod. I feel safer than I have in years.
"You look happy. I love seeing you smile. It's been a long time since I've seen you in such high spirits. I'm not sure I've ever seen you this upbeat."
I sigh. "I am happy. Even with all the shit that's happened with John, I'm still happier than I've ever been. Alex makes me feel so good. He smiles at me, and I feel like the most important person in the world to him. He kisses me, and I melt. He tells me I'm beautiful and amazing, and I believe him. And I know he means those things now. I'm just not sure he will feel the same tomorrow. I'm scared of getting too close to him and then losing it all."
Ryan takes my face in his hands. "You're already close to him, K. You revealed a part of your past that you haven't even shared with Paul or me. You told him your deepest, darkest secret. On some level, you already trust him."
"It's all very confusing. I don't want you to worry, though. I'll figure it out."
Ryan snickers as we walk back toward the house. "Darlin', it's not you I'm worried about. It's Alex. He has it bad for you. I just hope you can let it happen without overanalyzing the shit out of it. He's good for you, K. I can see it. And I came into this with some pretty serious trepidations about this particular playboy. There's something more to him. Don't let your insecurities get in the way and cause you to miss out on what's in front of you because you've predetermined it will end."
Alex and I wave good-bye as the black SUV heads down the driveway, and Jake takes Ryan and Paul to the airport.
Despite the dreadful start to the weekend, Ryan and Paul were able to see the wonderful man Alex is. And I got to introduce Alex to my family.
Alex closes the front door, and the air is instantly filled with sparks of sexual tension. Without a word, we move toward each other. The need to feel, to touch is overwhelming.
Alex grabs my hand and drags me against his body. His lips crash against mine, and our tongues waste no time twisting together. There's no build-up, only unbridled passion, and I'm unable to exert any control over the desire within me.
Alex leads me to the bedroom. He caresses my face, his mouth claiming mine. I run my hands to his hips and let him guide me backward to the bed. My head is swimming in a sea of passion and lust. I want him—not because I'm hurt or scared or need reassurance. I want him in a raw, lascivious, erotic way. I want him rough and unforgiving. I want to give my body to him completely, unhindered by inhibition.
Alex lifts my shirt over my head and unhooks my bra, tossing them onto the floor. He works the buttons on my shorts and pushes them down my legs so I can kick them off. He removes his board shorts, and his erection springs out.
Moving to the bed, he sits and pulls me onto his lap. I hover above him, and he grasps my hips, moving me so that his tip teases my opening.
"Take me, baby. Take every inch of me inside you."
I push onto him, stretching to accommodate him, until he's deep inside me.
"You're so beautiful, baby," he murmurs, lying back.
I lean over the top of him, and my hair cascades around his face. Slowly, I move up and down on him as he grabs my hips and move me at his pace. Even in a submissive position, he controls me, controls my body.
How this man, who barely knows me yet knows me so well, can make me feel and want and need so much is nearly beyond comprehension. I'm commanded by him, out of control yet so safe and protected. Everything about him—his eyes, his touch, his scent, his breath—excites me and sends thrills through my body, and I want to give him all of me.
But in the dark recesses of my mind, I have the urge to run as far and as fast away from him as I can, before he leaves, and takes my heart with him. I hate that my head and my heart are in such conflict. I want desperately to let go of the fear of abandonment that cripples me.
"Hold tight to me," Alex says, sliding his hands to my back, his other arm around my backside. In one swift move, he flips me onto my back and never breaks the connection between us.
He lifts his head, caresses my face with his hand as he moves his lips to my neck before they leisurely travel across my shoulder. I arch into Alex's hard body. Waves of pleasure build. I moan, scratch my fingernails down his back, half-crazed with being so close to falling over the edge.
Alex rams into me, over and over, deeply rooted inside me, and I shatter around him.
His body convulses, and then he collapses on me. I run my fingers through his hair as he places sweet kisses in the crook of my neck. We are a mix of sweat, heavy breathing, and sex. He lifts his upper body, rests his head in his hand, and gazes at me. His dazzling blue eyes sparkle, a shy boyish grin on his face.
I shake my head in amused disbelief. "How is it possible you can completely unravel me and then look so damn innocent?"
Alex laughs and rests his hand on my abdomen. "You make me feel like a kid in a candy store when we have sex. It's like I've been caught taking more than I'm allowed. I can't help it. I lose all control when I'm with you."
He nibbles along my shoulder, and tiny sparks dance across my skin. There is a connection with him that is undeniable, and deep in my soul, I know he feels it too. I just hope it can withstand whatever hell John will put us through. Whatever demons are in Alex's past. And the voices in my head that repeat that no one will ever stay.
Chapter Twenty
I roll onto my side and run my thumb across his bottom lip. I’m drawn to it ice cream on a hot summer day. A sense of calm settles over me. It's such a strange feeling. I'm so completely comfortable with him, as if it's pre-determined that we belong together.
The threat John poses to our relationship is real, however, and could end my euphoria. But it's impossible for me to leave Alex and prevent him from being a part of John's wrath. The thought makes my chest ache and my heart seize.
"Thank you for letting Ryan and Paul stay here this weekend. I know they really appreciate it, and so do I." I let my fingers drift up and down Alex's arm. I want to memorize every curve, every muscle that makes up this sexy man.
He kisses the tips of my fingers. "It's no problem. That's why I have guest rooms. I think they enjoyed themselves—you know, once we all knew you were going to be okay. Besides, you consider them family, and I want to know your family."
I still, not sure what to say. Demons from my past roar, Don't trust the words. Words make promises, and promises are easily broken.
He runs his thumb across my cheek. "What's going through that beautiful mind of yours, Kylie?"
"I'm wondering when I'm going to wake up from this dream—or when you will."
"And if it's not a dream? Why can't this be reality?" He leans in, presses his lips to my forehead, and then gazes into
my eyes.
"Because it's all happening so quickly. We've known each other for what? A week? Two weeks? All of a sudden, I'm your girlfriend, we have a relationship, and you want to know my family. It's surreal and completely crazy."
"So your issue is that it's happening too fast?" He kisses the palm of my hand and then trails his lips across my wrist.
I lift my hand until his eyes meet mine. "My issue is that it's not sustainable."
He stiffens, and stares at me. "Why do you think that?" He drops my hand on the bed but still holds it tightly.
"Because you think you need to save me, to protect me. And you're right. I need protection, and you have saved my life in more ways than you will ever know. But what happens when I no longer need saving? What will we have then?"
"Each other?" His eyes darken, and the creases in his forehead deepen.
"Based on something that won't exist any longer, thereby making it fleeting."
Alex noisily blows the air out of his lungs. "I wish you could just trust me."
I sit up, ready to challenge him. "I trust you more than anyone, Alex."
He sits and faces me, our legs crossed in front of us. "Well, that's not saying much, is it? You trust me to help you and keep you safe. But you don't fully trust. Not me—not even Ryan and Paul. They're your best friends, your family, yet they still don't know what actually happened to you that night with John."
Instantly, my defensive wall goes up. "Don't talk to me about trust, Alex. It's a two-way street that you haven't made any attempt to cross."
His face is blank.
The voice in my head tells me to back off, but I'm angry and on a roll. Heat flushes through my body, and all the muscles in my head and neck tense. "If you truly trusted me, you would tell me about your nightmares. But I don't get to know about your life or your past. Instead, you hold tight to your secrets. You want me to share my fears and nightmares with you, but you get to keep everything to yourself. You tell me that you're mine, but only to a point. I don't get to truly know you, Alex. I get to know what you want me to know and nothing more."
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