Looking down the path ahead of me, I try to locate what has lost this large amount of blood.
And then I see them—a set of legs clad in dark gray pants, laying haphazardly across the path. The upper body torn from the torso at the waist.
I stumble and nearly fall. I can't stop. I have to keep going. I should turn back, but some dark hand within me thrusts me forward.
Staggering along the path, I focus on a white dress shirt soaked with blood at the tails. Entrails that were once neatly packaged and compartmentalized within the body have been strewn across the path, engorged and unreal. I drag my eyes away from it, searching for something that looks normal in this surreal environment.
Tightly clasped in one of the hands is a piece of white fabric. I train my eyes on it, bringing the dark blue stitching into focus. It looks familiar. I've seen it before, held it in my hands.
"No!" I scream as the block letters come into view and the familiar AS monogram registers in my brain. Tears stream down my face, clouding my vision, and I swipe at them.
I lift my gaze, prepared to look into his eyes. A pool of blood where a head should be. I feel the scream build, a fireball slowly moving up my throat. I swivel my head as I try to locate the missing head.
The silent summer air is shattered. "No! Please, God, no!"
I run as fast as I can. It's not clear to me if I'm searching for more fragments of my love or escaping the previous scene.
"Please, no! Please! Not Alex!" My chest heaves. My legs are lead, weighing me down, but I force myself to continue on.
Rounding the next corner, I come to an abrupt halt. The very eyes I was searching for earlier stare back at me. I drop to my knees, retching uncontrollably. Alex's head is lying in the middle of the blood-soaked path, his dead blue eyes glaring at me.
My wail echoes through the trees.
Hands are grasping my shoulders, shaking me. I keep my eyes shut tightly, painfully. My body turns to stone, frozen in that moment. Fear is the only thing coursing through my veins. I cannot look. I cannot bear to see who has done this to Alex. But mostly, I cannot bear to look into Alex's lifeless eyes again.
* * *
"Kylie!"
My eyes fly open. The beautiful sea of blue greets me, filling me with light and life. I stare at him for a moment, confused. Alex is on his knees in front of the club chair, grasping my upper arms. His eyes are wide, and some of the color has drained from his face.
"Alex?" I touch his face and neck. His warmth heats my cold fingers, convincing me that I've awakened from a horrible nightmare.
"Kylie, it's okay. I'm here, baby. You're okay." His voice is soft but demanding with an edge of despair. He looks into my eyes, willing me to understand, forcing me to come out of the fog of my slumber.
"Alex," I whisper. I slide off the chair and onto his lap. Tears uncontrollably stream down my face, and I bury my head into his neck and sob. I feel him exhale, his arms tightening around me.
"Hey, Kylie, it's okay. You're safe, baby. It was just a bad dream."
Alex gently rocks me, but I continue to sob, clinging tightly to him. The images flash in my mind, a horrific strobe threatening my sanity. It was so real, too damn real.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Alex asks softly, his lips against my cheek as he tries to raise my face.
I shake my head. There is no way I'm putting those visions in his head.
"Please don't worry, Kylie. Please trust me. He will never, ever hurt you again. I'll protect you. I promise."
"I know," I whisper, my head resting along his shoulder, as I try to regain control over my emotions.
We sit there for a few minutes more, wrapped in each other, until I'm finally able to look into his eyes again. Alex smiles at me as he wipes the tears from my face. I want to tell him how madly I love him, how he has my whole heart and soul.
Instead, I say, "I'm sorry, Alex."
"Baby, why? You have every right to be shaken up by the sight of that cat and the pictures." He lifts my chin and kisses me.
I melt into him, a small portion of the tension and fear encasing my heart releasing. He has no idea what has shaken me up, and I'm unable to tell him. But I will do everything I can to protect him as fiercely as he has been protecting me. We have a common enemy—John. But I fear the fight will drive us apart, not bring us closer together. We each have a singular purpose—to protect the other. And that purpose means we're no longer on the same team.
"Come on," Alex says, a forced joviality to his voice. "Let's go relax and snuggle in front of the TV. I'll even watch a sappy love story, if you want."
I snicker, climb off his lap, and stand. With the same contrived lightheartedness in my tone, I say, "I already live that."
Chapter Forty-Nine
Running, I pass the legs and the torso and round the corner. The dead blue eyes greet me, and I scream. I turn away, unable to look at them any longer. I'm desperate to run away from the scene, desperate to put distance between between myself and the man I love lying dead on the ground, desperate to make it unreal.
But I'm met instead with bloodshot eyes.
John is standing in front of me, blocking my escape. He's laughing, reveling in his destruction. He thrusts his hands toward me, grabbing my head, squeezing tightly. Filled with rage, his insane, angry eyes dart around.
His words are dark and low and demonic as he says, "I warned you, Kylie. You didn't listen, didn't believe. And now, your precious Alex is gone forever. His blood is on your hands. Live with that." He throws his head back, a wicked laugh hissing from the depths of his black soul.
I bring my hands up to my face. They're covered in blood—Alex's blood.
* * *
"No!" I bolt upright in bed, clutching my chest, trying to prevent my heart from breaking into a million irretrievable pieces.
It's still dark, making it impossible for my mind to recognize where I am. Sweat drips off of me, and the sheets are twisted around my legs. I sit, listening to the sounds of my breathing hitching between sobs.
Alex moves behind me, engulfing me in his arms, and pulls me back against his strong chest and rapidly beating heart. "Shh, baby. It's okay. You're okay. It was just a bad dream. I'm here, and you're safe."
My head falls to my chest. I have no strength, no energy, and the thought of Alex dying scares me. This was only a dream. What will happen when I actually have to fight John? How will I protect Alex when I'm not strong enough to get through a nightmare?
Alex deserves more. He deserves life, a long and happy life. And with each passing day, I know that life will probably not be with me. John will destroy us, destroy me. But the only way he will take Alex is over my dead body. And if that's what it takes to protect Alex from John, so be it.
"Baby, tell me about it. Please, let me help."
I lean back against him and take a deep breath. I don't want to burden him with these prophecies, but I can't continue to have these nightmares every time I fall asleep. I know locking fears away doesn't make them go away. And this nightmare is intent on staying in my mind, and it will continue to haunt my sleep. I have to regain my strength, my ability to fight. I have to sleep, so the nightmares have to go away. It's the only way to save Alex.
"I was on the trail. There was so much blood. I found you, and John was there, telling me it was my fault. I looked at my hands, and they were covered in blood."
"What was your fault?" Alex asks.
"He killed you because of me. I had your blood all over me, and I was screaming, but he just stood there and laughed at me. You were gone. You were dead. And I just wanted to die with you." Tears stream down my face, and the room is silent, still.
Alex finally shifts and turns me so he can cradle me in his lap. "I wish I could make the nightmares go away. I wish I could make it all go away. But, baby, you're safe. I promise. I'll do everything in my power to protect you, no matter what. No matter what, Kylie."
"I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry I got you involved
in this mess. If anything happens to you because of me, I'll never forgive myself."
"Shh, baby. Nothing's going to happen to either of us," Alex whispers.
I want to believe him, but I know it is all just wishful thinking. I am sure death will strike my life again. But it will be John or me—or both of us. It will not be Alex. That is my silent vow to him.
I have no idea how long I remained cradled in Alex's arms or when I fell asleep. I wake up to the sun lighting the room, and Alex and I are facing each other, arms and legs completely entwined. I watch him sleeping and silently thank God for bringing him into my life, and I pray he will never suffer harm because of me. I lean into him, kissing him softly. A small smile crosses his face, but he remains asleep. I know Alex. He stayed awake long after I fell asleep, keeping vigil over me in case my nightmares returned.
I pad softly into the kitchen and start the coffee, mindlessly watching as the drips accumulate slowly in the pot. It beeps softly, and I fill my mug before heading into the library. Curling into the chaise, I look out the window over the vast lawn that extends as far as the eye can see.
It's so gorgeous here, magical in a way, and for a moment, I let myself believe that nothing bad can happen as long as I stay in this magnificent sanctuary at Tri-Stone Estate. The name indicates something cold and harsh, but that's as far from the truth as the public perception of the man who lives here. It's strong. It protects the inhabitants and has beauty within that could never be seen by someone only passing by, seeing only the exterior.
That's Alex. The world—the people who only see the clothes and the women and the money—only sees the cold, ruthless businessman. They have no idea that beneath the stone façade is a man who is so strong, so willing to protect those he loves, so unbelievably beautiful.
I have no idea why he chose me, let me in, but I will not take it for granted, and I will never truly be able to let it go. He will be with me always. No matter what happens with John, what I have to do to ensure Alex is safe, I will always hold this incredible man in my heart.
The graphic visions of the horrendous nightmares invade my serenity—Alex's lifeless body strewed along the path, the sound of John's laughter echoing through my head, the eyes that turn my heart to ice. I shudder. I can't let this happen. John wants me. He’s punishing me. I won't let him use Alex as a proxy. I have to figure out a way to remove Alex from the equation and place John's crosshairs solely back on me.
Nearing the library again, coffee mug in hand, I hear Jake's and Alex's voices in the study. I stop outside the door, out of sight, and eavesdrop.
"She's been having horrible nightmares," Alex says.
"It seems odd. I mean, Sysco has threatened her life before, but she never had nightmares—not even after he torched her townhouse and spray-painted the threats all over the walls. Why now? Did she tell you about them—the nightmares, I mean?" Jake asks, always analyzing circumstances.
"Apparently, John killed me and told her it was her fault that I was dead." Alex exhales loudly. "I'm trying to convince her that I'll protect her and keep her safe. I just don't know how to help her get past the nightmares or convince her that I won't let him hurt her."
There is a long silence before Jake finally speaks up. "It has nothing to do with you protecting her. She's not worried about herself. It's you. Her nightmares are about you dying. Think about it. She's been respectful and professional with Reyes until yesterday when we discovered Sysco had been close enough to you to take a picture and she yelled at him for the lapse I courthouse security. And I have never seen her as upset as when she saw the picture of you and realized Sysco was gunning for you, too. She's not concerned with Sysco hurting her. She's already accepted that. She's freaking out about him coming after you."
Tears brim my eyes, and I leave my hiding place and cross over to the library. I resume my position on the chaise and wipe the tears from my eyes. I know what I have to do, but it won't be easy. It will hurt more than any beating John ever gave me, but it will keep Alex safe.
Alex enters the library and sits on the end of the chaise. I know he'll fight me on this, but I have to make him understand that it's for the best. Our eyes lock on each others, so much passing between us without a single word being spoken.
He brings my fingers to his lips, grazing them lightly. "You look like you have something on your mind. What's going on in that beautiful brain, Kylie?"
I take a deep breath, needing to confront this now so that preparations can be made. "I have to go, Alex. I need to get far away from here."
"You don't trust that I can protect you?" Alex's voice is filled with hurt.
"It has nothing to do with that, Alex. If I leave, I can draw John away from here. If he thinks we're no longer together, he'll leave you alone. You'll be safe."
"And what about you? How am I supposed to keep you safe? He'll come after you no matter where you are." His voice has an edge to it, anger just below the surface.
I swallow hard and shrug. "Then, he'll come after me, and I'll deal with it, once and for all."
"Wait." Alex's voice rises and becomes terse. "You mean, you'll sacrifice yourself?" He stands up, his face red. "Are you crazy? What the hell are you thinking, Kylie?"
I grab hold of his hand and keep my voice calm. "I'm thinking he's never going to stop until he kills me. Never. I'm not willing to put you in the line of fire. You're not going to pay for my horrible decisions, Alex. I won't let that happen. I have to leave, and if he finds me, I'll handle it. But at least you'll be safe, and you can live the rest of your life."
"Without you? That's your solution? Damn it, Kylie." Alex rubs the bridge of his nose.
I know he's trying to make sense of what I'm saying.
He sinks onto the chaise again. "When will you realize there is no meaning, no purpose, no light in my life without you? My life was mere existence on a very base level until you came into it. You woke me up, and I'm not willing to go back to a nonexistent existence. I would rather die than spend one minute without you. You're not going anywhere, Kylie."
"Alex, please just consider—"
Alex places his finger over my lips. "You're crazy if you think I'm letting you go. You're even crazier if you think I will ever let an asshole like John Sysco take you away from me or destroy what we have together. It will never happen, Kylie. I will not let it. You are my life. I'll protect you, protect us both. But I need you to trust me, baby."
I sigh heavily as he caresses the side of my face.
"I can't live without you, Kylie. I can't go back to that life. Please promise me you'll stay."
The fear and pain in his eyes are too much for me to handle. I'm torn between wanting to protect him and the knowledge that he has protected me from so much already. I owe him for his unwavering support and protection. I trust him with my life. I'm just not sure I can trust him with his own. I can only hope he'll fight to stay alive, if only to ensure I feel no guilt over his death.
"Alex, I'm just as scared to lose you. If anything happened to you, because of me, because I brought this maniac into our lives, I wouldn't survive."
"I know, baby, but leaving is not the answer. I understand you think getting him away from here will protect me, but I won't let you face him on your own. It's never going to happen. We have a much better chance against him if we stay here. We are so much stronger when we're together. You can't leave. You have to promise me you'll stay."
"Okay, Alex," I acquiesce. But my heart and head still have reservations. "I'll stay, but you have to promise me that you'll protect yourself as much as you protect me."
"Deal." He pulls me onto his lap and tightly embraces me. "Stop threatening to leave me, Kylie. I can't stand the thought of you not being with me."
I fight the lump in my throat and nestle into him. I can't stand the thought of not being with him either, but the thought of him not being here at all still lingers, and I wonder if I've made the right decision.
Chapter Fifty
Al
ex is never far from me for the remainder of the day, and I sense he's worried I might take off anyway. The thought has crossed my mind, but I know Alex will move heaven and earth to find me and protect me. That would only place him in harm's way, and I won't do that.
We spend the afternoon curled on the couch, watching the Nationals play the Tigers.
His cell phone rings, and he looks at the caller ID, announcing, "Patty," before answering it.
After a moment, a grim smile crosses his face. "I don't think so, Patty. Not after last week's debacle. I am not willing to put Kylie through that again."
I pull on his arm to get his attention and mouth, Family dinner night?
Alex nods, and I pull on his arm again.
He tells Patty, "Hold on a sec," and covers the mouthpiece.
"How about asking me how I feel?" I ask. "I think we should go, Alex. The more your mother sees us together, the sooner she'll accept us as a couple."
Alex looks at me for another moment, his eyes narrowed slightly. "Apparently, I'm overruled, so we'll be there. But any shit from Francine or anyone else, and that's it. We'll leave, and it will end there." He ends the call. "Are you sure you're up for this, baby? We don't have to go."
"I'm sure. I need to get out of the house. If Francine trips my meter, I'll let you know, and we can leave. Deal?"
"Deal," Alex agrees before kissing me.
I pull myself up, straddling him, without breaking the connection we have with our lips. I run my fingers through his hair and settle at the back of his head as I deepen the kiss, suddenly desperately needing him. Alex moves his hands to my hips and he draws me closer. He caresses my face, and he lifts my head to gaze into my eyes.
Something new is there, something bright, shining, and alive. It's something I've never seen before, and a part of me hopes I'm the only person who has ever or will ever see it. I want it to be just for me because it's the closest thing to true love I have ever felt.
Of Demons & Stones: A Tri-Stone Trilogy Page 29
