Of Demons & Stones: A Tri-Stone Trilogy

by Anne L. Parks

  Ronnie, the doorman, greets me, "Nice to see you again, Miss Tate. It's been a while."

  I'm constantly amazed at how this man, who only sees me a few times a year, always remembers me.

  "Congratulations on winning your big case," he adds.

  I smile at him. "Thanks, Ronnie. It's really nice to see you, too." I pass through the lobby to the security desk and give the uniformed guard my name.

  "You may go on up, Ms. Tate," the guard announces, handing my driver's license back to me.

  I nod and walk to the elevators, hoping someone is home since I haven't given any advanced notice of my visit. I cannot bear turning my cell phone back on, afraid I would give in and answer Alex's call and then allow him to talk me into coming back.

  I knock on the apartment door, and it's opened immediately.

  Ryan looks at me but doesn't appear at all surprised to see me. His cell phone to his ear, he announces, "She's here," as he lets me in.

  He hands the cell phone to me, and my eyebrows rise.

  "It's Alex," he says.

  I shake my head. I'm not ready to talk to Alex yet.

  Ryan covers the phone. "He's worried, K. Just let him know you're all right. He needs to hear your voice. He deserves that much."

  I take the phone as Ryan closes the door and walks into the kitchen, giving me some privacy.

  "Hello?" I answer, trying to control the sudden shakiness in my voice.

  "Thank God," Alex exhales. "Are you okay?"

  No! "I'm safe, Alex." But far from okay.

  "When are you coming home?" His voice is meek and childlike.

  Tears well up again and run down the already established paths on my face. "I don't know, Alex. I need time to sort this out."

  "Please don't shut me out, Kylie."

  My heart is aching, and I just want to drop to the floor and curl into a ball. I love him so much, and right now, it physically hurts to breathe.

  "I have to go, Alex. I can't talk right now." My voice is barely a whisper as my cries choke me.

  "Okay," he acquiesces, but he sounds completely defeated. "Please promise me you won't go anywhere without Ryan or Paul. It's still not safe, Kylie."

  "I promise. Good-bye, Alex." A soft sob escapes my throat.

  "God, Kylie..." Alex remains quiet for a moment and then whispers, "Bye, baby."

  Walking into the kitchen, I hand Ryan his cell phone before collapsing into his arms, sobbing.

  I spend the night retelling the events of the past couple of weeks to Ryan and Paul as we sit in the family room, eating Chinese takeout. Not much of the food has actually made it into my mouth, but I have artfully moved it around the plate.

  Paul's features twist viciously when I explain about finding the dead cat in the box along with the threats contained in the pictures. I know he's wishing he had killed John the night he beat me. I end with reliving the horrible fight Alex and I had, culminating in the discovery that I am in love with a man incapable of, or unwilling to, love me back.

  At least I now have verification of what I have suspected my whole life. I am entirely unlovable.

  "Kylie, what the hell were you thinking, taking off like that? If Psycho Sysco is watching you, he could've followed you and run you off the road, or worse," Paul says. "You can't be impulsive right now. It's too dangerous."

  "I know. I wasn't thinking. I just needed to get away." A feeling of shame washes over me.

  Ryan grabs my hand. "No wonder Alex was freaking out when he called. No matter what, Kylie—love or not—that man cares deeply for you. His number one priority is keeping you safe."

  I should feel incredibly guilty, knowing Alex was probably nearly insane with worry. What-the-fuck-ever. A bigger part of me wants him to suffer, wants him to feel the same pain I'm feeling. Paul and Ryan might not understand it, but I don't care. I trusted Alex, and now, I'm hurting. I will not apologize for my actions.

  I spend all day Saturday in bed under the covers. Paul and Ryan have each come in to check on me a couple of times, trying to coax me into eating. I've refused, and they've left me alone, letting me handle this my way. I've heard their cell phones ringing throughout the day, and I assume it's Alex checking on me.

  At about six p.m., my cell phone dings with a text message from Alex. It's the first contact I've had with him since the phone call the night before.

  I just need to know that you're safe.

  My heart swells as the tears that have been flowing at various points throughout the day return. Shakily, I text back.

  I'm safe. Not leaving the apartment. Paul and Ryan are with me.

  I want to talk to Alex, to hear his voice, but I'm in no condition to carry on a conversation.

  Ding.

  Okay. That's followed immediately by another message. I miss you.

  I type I love you. But then I backspace and replace it with I miss you. Just very confused. And I hit Send.

  After a moment, Alex responds.

  I'm sorry.

  I wipe the tears from my eyes and venture out into the family room where Paul and Ryan are watching TV. Paul is sprawled out on the couch and opens his arms up when he sees me. I eagerly fall beside him and allow him to envelop me.

  As I'm lying down next to him, as I have done so many times before when my life seemed to be a hopeless mess, he whispers, "It'll be okay, Kylie," which starts a new stream of tears down my face.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  I wake up Sunday, mid morning, and go in search of coffee. Paul and Ryan are both still in their PJs as I make a beeline for the coffee pot. Ryan is leaning against the counter, and I turn and stand next to him.

  He places an arm around my shoulder and kisses the side of my head. "Good morning, darlin'."

  I smile back at him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

  "What would you like to eat?"

  "I'm good for right now. I'll grab something in a bit," I reply, but I have no appetite at all.

  Ryan gives me a frustrated look, so I placate him with, "I promise, I'll eat later."

  Paul's cell phone rings, and he answers it in his usual professional manner. "You're in town?"

  Paul glances at me and then quickly at Ryan, and they seem to have a conversation without me.

  I wish people would stop doing that around me!

  "Okay, sure, I can meet with you. It's no problem at all." Paul gets up from his stool and heads into his study.

  "Business on a Sunday?" I ask Ryan.

  He just shrugs.

  Half an hour later, Paul heads out the door. "Back in a bit," he says before the door latches behind him.

  Ryan and I are sitting in the family room on the couch when he decides to address the elephant in the room. "What are you going to do about Alex, darlin'?"

  "I'm not sure. It's seriously fucked up. I love him more than I ever thought was possible. I want to be with him, but I know I will just spend every day wondering if this is the day he finally leaves me."

  Ryan sighs. "Why do you do that, K?" There's an edge of irritation in his voice. "You can't spend the rest of your life thinking he's going to leave you."

  "He doesn't want me, Ryan. He told me he will never love me."

  "He's the one trying to work this out and talk to you—and give you space. He's not the one who left, Kylie. You did."

  "It's only a matter of time," I reply stubbornly.

  "You don't know that, K."

  Frustration kicks in, and my voice elevates. "He told me he doesn't love me now and will never love me in the future, Ryan. Never. I think that's a pretty clear indication that it will not last."

  Ryan softens and tries to calm me down. "K, he loves you. Anyone who sees him with you recognizes he's in love with you. He just has no idea what he's feeling. He tells you he cares for you and needs you with him forever. That's love, darlin'. For whatever reason, Alex doesn't trust love any more than you do. Maybe he just needs to get comfortable with the feelings and the idea before defining it. The m
an is head over heels in love with you. You're both just so darn stubborn. Don't give up on him yet."

  He leans over and gives me a hug. Maybe time is all Alex needs. Unfortunately, I might become resentful while waiting for him.

  An hour later, Paul returns from his meeting and joins us in the family room. We sit and talk for another hour before I rise.

  "I'd better start heading back."

  "Are you going back to Alex's?" Paul asks as he stands.

  I shake my head. "The Marriott, not far from the firm. I'll give it two or three days and try to figure it out."

  Paul sternly looks at me. "Okay, but let me know when you get in. And call Alex and let him know what your plans are, Kylie. He's scared shitless, trying to keep you safe, and it's not fair to make him worry."

  I nod.

  Paul lifts me into a bear hug. "I love you, Kylie."

  "I love you, too, Paul."

  He sets me down, and I walk to the foyer, grabbing my purse and fishing out the valet ticket. Ryan's behind me, and as I turn, he gathers me into an embrace.

  I bury my head into his neck. "Thanks for everything, Ryan. I love you so much."

  "I love you, too, darlin'."

  "Think about what I said, please."

  "I will." I kiss him before turning to the elevator.

  I decide to wait until I'm out of the congestion of the city to call Alex.

  His phone rings just once. "Kylie?"

  I melt from just hearing his voice, and I wish I could be wrapped in his arms.

  "Hi," I answer softly.

  "Where are you?"

  "Heading back. I just wanted you to know where I'll be staying."

  "Oh." The disappointment in his voice is unmistakable. "You're not coming home?"

  "I need more time."

  "I need to see you, Kylie. This is killing me."

  "Give me a couple of days. I'm working through all this. I just need some more time. Please."

  "Where are you staying?"

  "The Marriott."

  "Please be careful, Kylie."

  "I will. I promise." There's so much more I want to say to him, but it's all just a jumbled mess. I need to sort it out before I talk to him about my feelings, his feelings, our future. And I need for this hundred-pound lead balloon to lift from my chest, so I can breathe again.

  Two and a half hours later, I'm checking into the hotel. The desk clerk confirms the penthouse suite, and I stare at him until I realize Alex has upgraded me. I start to refuse, but I don't need this argument. It will make Alex feel more comfortable if I'm in a secured room where access to the floor is limited. It will also keep him away, which is what I really need at the moment.

  Once in the suite, I fall onto the couch and look around the spacious large living area. A desk sits in front of a long bank of windows, and I focus on a briefcase sitting on top of it. I cross the room and open it, confirming it's mine.

  Shaking my head, I walk into the adjoining bedroom, open the closet, and verify my suspicions. Approximately seven of my suits along with various tops and slacks are neatly hanging there. Alex has had clothes, and I suspect toiletries, delivered from the house.

  I sink onto the bed, a rush of warmth flowing through me. Perhaps Ryan is right. Maybe Alex just doesn't realize he's in love.

  Except that he told me himself that he will never love me.

  No matter what his motivations or reasons, this is just one more example of Alex and his thoughtfulness—one of the many reasons I love him.

  I pull out my cell phone and send him a text.

  * * *

  Thank you for the upgrade and the clothes. I really appreciate it.

  * * *

  I walk to the dresser and pull open drawers filled with panties, bras, workout clothes, and pajamas. I grab a pair of PJs and change as the phone dings.

  * * *

  Anything for you, baby.

  * * *

  The text makes me smile, and while it does comfort me, I can't help but think, Not anything. Not love.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  The next couple of days are a blur. I wander aimlessly to and from the office, escorted by Thomas. My appetite is on hiatus, forcing me to subsist on a diet of mostly coffee during the day and vodka tonics to sleep.

  By Tuesday, I'm less than enthusiastic as I amble into the conference room, set to meet with the new litigation team on the Barber case. My second chair is a fourth-floor attorney, Casey, who is a decent attorney but almost too eager to prove himself. He's visited my office three times since being assigned, and I get the distinct feeling he's measuring the dimensions of the room to see if his furniture will fit. I'm sure he would like nothing more than to outshine me on this case. Since Gil returned to law school, we have another new addition to the team. Katy, a highly experienced paralegal, will be taking his place while Lisa will handle everything else.

  We are halfway through the afternoon when we hit a roadblock. The coroner's report along with my highly detailed notes are nowhere to be found. Frantically searching my office for the third time, I suddenly visualize them right where I left them—on the table in the library, next to the chaise longue at Alex's house.

  Damn!

  I dismiss the team early as I come up with a plan to go out to the house and retrieve the legal pads.

  I pray Alex will be at the office, allowing me to make a quick in and out without having to confront him. I'm in no shape to see him. I miss him so much that it physically hurts to think about being close to him without touching him. But I'm still trying to figure out how to have a discussion about our future together when I'm convinced it will never last. I love him, but my head is constantly replaying his admission that he will never love me, sending me into a tailspin all over again.

  Thomas and I enter the kitchen.

  "I'll just be a minute, and then we're off."

  Thomas nods, and I head toward the library. Tentatively walking past the study, I glance in. The lights are on, and the laptop sits on the desk, but Alex is nowhere to be seen.

  Good! Grab the notes, and go!

  I walk quickly to the table in the library and pick up the legal pads. Without turning around, I know Alex is behind me. His overwhelming presence fills the room and makes the hairs on my arms stand up. The library doors close, and I'm a mixed bag of emotions as I turn and face him for the first time in five days.

  I’m rooted to the spot. My chest heaves, and my breathing intensifies. Alex is standing in the middle of the room. He's unshaven, and he looks tired, but he is still amazingly sexy. We stare at each other, neither of us speaking.

  Finally, Alex comes toward me, and I shake myself from the daze I'm in.

  "I just came by to get some notes I need." I pull my eyes away and look down at the legal pads in my hands.

  Alex places his hand under my chin and lifts my head to look in my eyes once more. He finds my lips, and slips his hand to the small of my back, drawing me closer to him. He releases my chin and caresses my face. He moves his lips along my jaw, sweetly kissing me.

  I feel myself falling into him, wanting him to continue. Warmth fills my heart and spreads through my body. It feels so good...too good. But it won't last, and that fact hits me square in the chest.

  "Alex, stop." But my mind is fighting with my heart, and my heart is determined to stay put. "Please, Alex," I beg as his lips move to my neck. My body lacks the willpower to pull away from him, relishing in his touch. "Please, stop."

  "Is that what you really want, Kylie? Do you really want me to stop?"

  His voice, his lips, his touch—I need them so desperately.

  "No," I admit, succumbing to him.

  Spikes of heat and pleasure travel throughout my body. It's useless to deny myself what I've been craving for so many days. I don't just want his touch. I need it. It's what fuels my heart and soul, and it is bringing me back to life.

  He takes the notepads from my hands and tosses them onto the floor. Moving against me, he lowe
rs me onto the chaise. He slides his hands up my legs, lifting my skirt around my hips. The tingling sensations left by his fingertips force me to draw in a deep breath. Looping his fingers around my panties, he pulls them off as I work the button on his jeans and move them down his legs. He lowers his lips to mine, I push my hands under his shirt, stroking and caressing his muscular chest. Our kiss is deep as our tongues wrestle and play with one another. I'm lost in him, unable to think clearly and relishing in the haze he creates when he touches me.

  We simultaneously gasp as he pushes into me. The muscles of my core clench, and I feel my orgasm about to erupt. The feel of him entering me after such a long separation is so good, so right, and I'm on overload.

  "Alex," I call to him in a whisper. My body spasms out of control. I dig my fingers into his back.

  "Oh, God, Kylie," Alex calls to me.

  His thrusts increase in speed and force, causing me to sharply draw in my breath. My back arches as I tense and release around him. We delve into a passionate deep kiss that lasts until our orgasms explode, sending us both into a frenzied state.

  Alex lowers his forehead onto mine as we try to slow our breathing. He raises his head and looks into my eyes. I'm momentarily lost in his gaze until my brain plays a cruel trick on me, forcing me to relive Alex telling me that he doesn't love me and never will. I close my eyes against the flashes of memory, but the tears come back, as they do every time this vision resurfaces.

  "Kylie, are you crying?" Alex raises himself off me and pulls me into a sitting position next to him. "Baby, what's wrong?"

  "This was a mistake." I pull my skirt down and wipe the tears from my eyes.

  I stand up, straightening my clothes, as Alex hurriedly pulls up his jeans. I bend over and pick up my notes off the floor and head toward the double doors. Halfway there, Alex grabs my arm and turns me to face him, his face blank, his eyes wide, and his lips parted slightly.