When she trailed off, Kodran frowned. “But what?”
“Maeva.” She swallowed. “It was hard...sometimes I couldn’t keep track of things...she was stronger.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that the other side of me is worth paying close attention to.” Her eyes stayed with his. “She’s unpredictable.”
“Does she follow your thoughts?” he asked. “Can she report back to the enemy about us? About all this?”
“No, it’s not like that.” She shook her head. “But she’s gained strength, and it’s all my fault. I should have never gotten so close to him. I should have never thought I could keep her repressed once I realized she existed.”
“So who is she in all this? In everything my kin and their mates have gone through up until now?” he asked. “Because she’s tried to possess people. Then she’s actually appeared in dragon form. I saw her battle Matthew and Shannon just yesterday as a dragon. Now Hel has her.”
This was the part she didn’t want to get to. The sadness of it all.
“Hel doesn’t have her. She can’t.” Erica frowned and dropped her eyes. “Not if I’m sitting here with you now.”
His eyes held hers for a long, strained moment before the truth occurred to him and he again whispered, “Loki’s cock.” He shook his head. “All along she’s been using you just as much as you’ve been using her. She’s been trying to possess your sisters and doing anything she can to get back to Hallstein...Bard.” Concern drew his brows together. “And now, for the first time, she’s appeared in dragon form.”
“That’s right,” she confirmed.
“And that is a very bad thing.”
“About as bad as it can get.”
“Because she’s accessing your inner dragon,” he said. “The power of it.”
“Exactly.”
“That happened because of our connection in the cave when I was traveling with Shannon and Matthew, didn’t it?”
“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “That connection was close to the Place of Seers. And close to Matthew and Shannon as they reconnected with their ancient dragon incarnates which put us in the direct line of fire for this era to catch up with us damn fast. As I’m sure you know, magic works that way. The second Maeva connected with ancient times she started drawing on my dragon and manifesting her own version.”
“Loki’s Hel,” he muttered, leaning against the rock beside her as he rubbed his hand over his chin and shook his head. “So all this time, you’ve been in two places. The one place because you chose it. The other against your will?”
“Pretty much,” she murmured.
“Then why not tell your sisters sooner? My kin?” He frowned. “It might have been easier on all parties involved had they known this.”
“Because I couldn’t risk my cover,” she mumbled.
“Your cover?”
“Yeah, you know.” She arched her brows at him. “The person Hallstein has known me to be for over a year.”
Kodran crossed his arms over his chest and eyed the water streaming down the wall for several long moments before he said, “Why so long? Why did you go to him over a year ago and not more recently?” His eyes shot to hers. “More importantly, how did you meet him in the twenty-first century?” He narrowed his eyes. “How did you know he was there when even my kin and I didn’t?”
“Because somebody reached out to me and told me,” she said softly, wishing that day had never happened but at the same time grateful or she wouldn’t be here now. She wouldn’t have been able to stay one step ahead.
“Who told you?” he asked.
“The prosecuting attorney in court one day,” she finally said and met Kodran’s eyes again. “Hallstein.” She shook her head. “A great impersonator of all things it seems.”
When his brows shot up in surprise, she continued. “Somehow, he had locked onto Maeva inside of me, and that was his way of introducing himself.” She scowled. “Fitting considering the state was defending a man who turned out to be guilty as sin.”
“So that was when he ended up in the twenty-first century?” he said.
“Round about, yes,” she confirmed. “When he did, he decided it was the perfect hiding spot for the majority of his tribe, so he brought them all forward in time to Virginia.”
“Why there when everything is happening in the north?”
“For starters, he hates New England,” she said. “The closer to Winter Harbor, Maine, the worse his aversion.” A small grin crept onto her lips. “Then, of course, there was another reason to head south.”
“What was that?” he said.
The grin turned into a smile. “My brother, Kage.”
When he looked at her in question, she continued.
“He had approached Hallstein prior to that,” she explained. “Not as an enemy but a potential friend. He spun some bullshit tale about my sisters and how he was a shunned, neglected part of the family.” She shook her head, grinning because she was still so impressed with what her brother had managed to pull off. “It was Kage who got Hallstein to stay in Virginia. It was Kage who convinced the enemy and his crew to go there so he could keep an eye on them.”
“Yet Hallstein appeared many times during all this,” Kodran said. “He fought my kin.”
“Sure he did.” Erica made a back and forth motion. “Just imagine a dragon as powerful as him having access not only to Helheim but a solid base in the twenty-first century. That gives an evil motherfucker a whole lot of wiggle room.”
Though he might be struggling and astounded by everything she was telling him, he still managed to smirk. “You have strong words.” His eyes warmed. “Words that weren’t yours before you came together with Hallstein?”
He was referring to her cursing.
“Hell, yeah, I have strong words,” she confirmed. “But, yes, you’re right. Before I hooked up with Hallstein, I was a different creature altogether. Very professional. A big time lawyer.” Humor fled as she remembered what she became. “When I gave up being an attorney for...a different life down south, I picked up a new lingo and changed my look to fit in.”
“Why did Hallstein want that?” Kodran asked softly. “Why did he want that version instead of what you had been before?”
“I’m surprised you have to ask.” Erica frowned and shook her head before she met his eyes again. “Our enemy isn’t a big fan of strong women. Especially a strong woman who is half dragon.” She grimaced. “Double kill.” Erica tried her best to let go of memories even as she shared them with Kodran. “The minute I knew I had a chance to get close to him, I started playing the part of a weak woman dependent on her long lost dragon mate. As to my make-over and personality change, he hung with a rough crowd.” She shrugged. “So I adapted.”
“Once he knew he could trust me, I became a spy,” she continued. “He didn’t want me at the chalet in Winter Harbor, but I was allowed up north to keep a close eye on things. What I was really doing was helping Anthony and being there for my dad’s ghost.” She rolled up her sleeves as her skin grew hotter. As rage built. “When I wasn’t up north, Hallstein kept me a secret. His own little play thing.” She shook her head. “A few months after my sisters started traveling back in time and things got rolling, Hallstein finally allowed me to reveal myself to Kage.” She shrugged. “It goes to show you how secretive Hallstein was because his right-hand-man didn’t even know I existed.”
“After a while, Hallstein realized destroying your people wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought,” she went on. “So he was on the go more between the centuries. That’s when he told me to crash at my brother’s place to keep me safe.” She met Kodran’s eyes and tried her best not to sigh. “I stayed with Kage a few weeks before his mate surfaced and I was pulled back in time by you. You pretty much know the rest after that.”
Kodran frowned. “And what did your brother make of you being mates with Hallstein?”
“Well, at first he didn’t know,” she replie
d. “Not for a while actually. Hallstein didn’t want anyone to know. He felt it put me in too much danger.” She rolled her eyes. “I guess he didn’t take into consideration I was already with the most dangerous prick around.”
“But you did end up telling Kage, yes?”
“Yup,” she said. “Toward the end.”
Kodran kept eying her as he processed everything. She knew what he was thinking. That all she had done from start to finish had put everyone at risk. That had she just reached out to someone this all might have gone very differently. And he was right. For all her hard work and sacrifice she’d still let everyone down. How else could it be considering she was here now and Hallstein wasn’t dead with a knife to his side or a bullet to his brain. Because she could have done those things at any given moment.
“But the other half of you could not,” Kodran murmured, inside her head again. “The dark side of Maeva held you back. She protected him while you tried to destroy him and because you’re two halves of the same person, something I created in this era, you couldn’t. Any more than she could ultimately possess your sisters or be trapped by Hel.”
Her throat closed and she nodded.
He said nothing at first, just stared at her. The moment had arrived. The one she had dreaded for so long. The first Sigdir had just figured out what she had done and how many lives she’d put at risk. More so, Kodran had figured it out.
Her best friend in another life.
While he might not have achieved that status yet in this one, she felt strongly about him. His opinion mattered. Heck, she had thought she was long past feeling this way about anyone, but she should have known better when it came to him. He mattered in every life. More so what he thought of her.
“You could have gone to your sisters after Hallstein approached you in court,” he finally said. “That would have been the safest thing to do. You could have worked as a team to fight him. You could have enlightened my kin.”
Erica didn’t respond. She had no idea what to say. He was right. Yet it hurt that he seemed so...
“But instead of doing what would have been safest for you and your sisters,” he continued as their eyes held. “You decided to go the extra length, learn all you could and risk your very life for your sisters and in effect, my kin.”
She wasn’t sure how to answer, so she nodded because it was true.
“And you’re wrong about my thoughts.” He cupped her cheek. “I think you put yourself at too much risk. And I don’t think for a moment you let anyone down.”
“I’m glad you feel that way...that you’re not upset with me.”
“I am,” he said softly. “But not for the reasons you thought.” He cupped her other cheek. “The anger I feel is because you were in harm’s way and I wasn’t there to keep you safe.”
She was having trouble focusing on the conversation with him so close. With the powerful feelings churning as she stared into his eyes.
“Is there more?” he murmured. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No,” she lied. Because how could she ever tell him the evil side of Maeva thought she was in love with the enemy? “You’re pretty much catching on to everything.”
Their eyes held for a long moment, every second torturous because he knew she was lying.
“What is it?” he whispered. “Please tell me, Erica. Please trust me.”
Kodran was right. She needed to start trusting him. And he deserved to know.
“It’s Maeva...or should I say both versions of her,” she murmured as her eyes stayed with his. “Kodran, a countdown of sorts started the minute you and I touched the Gungnir. One that is going to end one of two ways whether or not you and I sleep together.” She swallowed hard. “Either I’m going to fully and willingly become mates with you...or with Hallstein.”
Chapter Six
“WHAT EXACTLY DOES that mean, Erica?” Kodran tried his damndest not to seem upset with her. Because he wasn’t. Not really. Just their set of circumstances and all she had gone through.
“It means we’re running out of time,” she murmured. “It’s getting harder and harder to keep the other version of Maeva out of my head.” She frowned. “It’s become more of a battle over the years, but since we touched the blade, it’s ten times worse. One of us is going to win, and when that happens, only one version of Maeva will exist...only one version of me.”
“But I’m your mate in this life,” he ground out.
“And he was in the last,” she reminded.
“Because of what I did.” He frowned and shook his head. “But that wasn’t real. It wasn’t fated. He took you against your will.”
“I know,” she said. “But remember, my doppelgänger became his willingly. For all intents and purposes they were mates, and somehow that mattered. It will make the difference.”
“So how do we keep her repressed?” he asked. “Because it sounds to me like if she surfaces all the way, I’m not going to be able to stop you from running back to Hallstein.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “For starters, I think it’s best to continue traveling by night when their connection isn’t as strong.”
“Right,” he murmured. “Because he made you his mate during the day, that time frame became the strongest point of power for him and the other Maeva.”
“Yes,” she replied. “But that doesn’t entirely dispel her power at night. Just lessens it some.”
“And what of us mating?” His eyes stayed with hers. “Now that I understand everything, I would think you’d want to do that right away considering it will only make us stronger.”
“What makes me stronger makes her stronger,” she whispered.
Kodran frowned and was about to ask her what she meant by that when it occurred to him. “Loki’s cock, no.” He shook his head. “When you said you became Hallstein’s play thing, I assumed you were talking about the other Maeva, but you share the same body in this life.” His chest tightened in rage. “So he’s had you.” He clenched his jaw. “He’s raped you.”
“Her,” she said softly. “He’s had the other Maeva, not me. Beat the other Maeva. Hurt her. But never me,” she whispered and stared at the water as she reiterated through clenched teeth, “Never.”
As the truth started to sink in, he got out of the water, dressed, and sat beside her. He was going to make that monster pay a thousand times over for this. “You might not have been there mentally, but it was your body he abused while enjoying Maeva, wasn’t it?”
When she didn’t reply, he slipped his hand into hers and tried to offer comfort. Her lack of reply spoke volumes. The only response she showed was the sadness in her eyes as her finger kept trailing around the metallic mica circle in the rock.
“I’m so sorry, Erica,” he murmured. “I’d do anything to have been there. To have protected you from him.”
“I know you would,” she whispered before she seemed to gather her strength. She sat up straighter and met his eyes again. “So now you understand why though I know it’s prudent to have sex with you as soon as possible I just...shit...” she muttered then trailed off.
“I understand.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you. I had no idea.” He frowned. “You say as much, but please tell me you don’t have memories of what he did to you.”
“No.” Erica shook her head. “I’d probably be cracking up right now if I did. He’s one sick bastard.” She swallowed hard again and kept her emotions repressed. “Let’s just say the other Maeva enjoyed her time with him from start to finish. I didn’t merge with myself until it was over. Then I had the pleasure of dealing with cracked ribs, swollen eyes, endless bruising, blood...It’s a good thing dragons heal quickly.” She clenched her teeth and shook her head again. “Hallstein and Maeva are as evil in their lusting as they are in all walks of life. Twisted, sadistic fucks.”
“This is all Eluf’s fault,” Kodran growled. “My fault.”
“No.” Now she was squeezing his
hand in comfort. “All you’re guilty of was protecting me in another life the best way you knew how. And trust me, I’d rather have dealt with Hallstein in the twenty-first century a million times over than have been at his mercy in that life because it was a whole lot longer.” Her eyes held his. “Besides, I loved Eluf in that life. I can’t imagine the thought of being with anyone but him...you.”
“I know you did,” he murmured. “Even as you watched him grow old while you stayed young.”
“He was never old in my eyes,” she said softly. “He was always handsome and good.”
He hoped so. Because he had long heard that love can make you blind.
“How did Bard finally find out what Eluf had done?” he said, curious. “That he wasn’t with the original version of you? Because it wasn’t for a great many years.”
“I’m not entirely sure,” she said. “But I imagine we’ll find out.”
He sighed and kept eying the water. They needed to get to the bottom of things. Where did this lead?
“First we need to rest,” she said, following his thoughts as she turned on the rock and stood. “Right now it’s daytime, so it’s best to get in a pattern of waking at night which is only a few hours off.”
He nodded. She was right.
“I’ll hunt some rodents to eat,” he said. “Maybe some insects too.”
She flinched. “Naw, I’m good. I just want to sleep.”
“You should eat something, Erica.” He stood as well. “You need to keep your strength up.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just not hungry. But I am logical.” She padded toward the bed. “Maybe when we wake up, okay?”
He nodded and sat against the wall by the fire as she crawled into bed.
She frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Settling in to rest,” he said.
“Why there?”
Pride of a Viking (The MacLomain Series: Viking Ancestors' Kin, #5) Page 7
