Max strolled quietly behind them as they traversed the area where the grounds led into the forest.
“I was looking out at this very place, remembering one of the weddings I wanted to plan here.” Lily knelt to rummage through some pine needles, glad for the gloves.
“Uncle Raymond and Aunt Jamilyn’s wedding?”
Lily shook her head. “Pretend weddings.”
“I’ll have to show you Madame Lily Susan’s website,” Max added. “She has lots of pictures of weddings. Some from when she was your age.”
“Really?” Madeleine said breathlessly.
Lily smiled, feeling a little breathless herself to know Max was so familiar with the content on her website.
Which was downright stupid. Not only had Max personally witnessed her youthful weddings, but the man was also a publisher, who was reporting on her stay in the area.
“When I was your age, I liked to dress up and play bride. Your grandma used to let me visit your house and my mom used to make me beautiful wedding dresses.”
Those dresses were still all neatly stored away in the attic of her parents’ house. She might go through them while she was in town. Maybe her publicist could use them for something. Or… “If you ever want to dress up as a bride, Madeleine, for Halloween or a play at school, please let me know. I have lots to choose from.”
Mom would love that.
“Merci, madame!”
“There’s something about weddings that capture the imagination no matter what age a girl is. See, Max, I wasn’t such an oddity.”
“Oddity isn’t the word I would have used.”
“Hmm. Not sure I even want to ask.”
He’d bent to pick up some cones, but Lily could see a hint of the dimple in profile. “Obsessed.”
There was nowhere else to look, so she watched him stand in a display of lean strength, the jeans pulling taut against strong thighs. “Well, I can’t deny I like weddings, now can I? But I prefer to think of myself as passionate and focused.”
“Those work, too.”
She didn’t get a chance to reply because Madeleine cried out, “Oh, look at all these pinecones.”
“You’ve hit the jackpot.” Lily kneeled beside her and offered her basket. “You keep this up and we’ll have to make a trip to my car to empty our baskets. I brought a box. I hope it’s big enough.”
Madeleine laughed and enthusiastically loaded up the basket. “Whoever fills their basket first wins.”
“The race is on.” Max meandered ahead to the next pine grove at a snail’s pace. A very handsome man with his hiking boots and low-slung jeans. A man in his element. Or was it just her interest in him that made him seem that way?
Both Lily and Max slowed their collecting by unspoken consent, and when they reached the river, the wind picked up, lifting Madeleine’s dark curls off her shoulders and whipping them around her face.
“We forgot to pull your hair up,” Max said. “Come here, pretty. I’ve got a pony.”
It took Lily a moment to realize that Max’s pony was actually a hair elastic that he slipped off his wrist. Madeleine ran to him, a sort of automatic hop-skip. Compliance with an obvious measure of let’s-get-this-over-with-so-I-don’t-lose-the-race. She was such a darling little girl.
Lily remembered the twins at this age, so enamored of everything, still not quite settled into their personalities. Now, at the ripe old age of nine and a half, they’d gotten the hang of life and had formulated some decided opinions.
Max swept the beret from Madeleine’s head and collected the dark curls, his long fingers so tenderly working the windswept strands into a fat ponytail that he secured low on her nape.
“Is that better?” he asked.
She nodded, and he barely got the hat on her head before she rushed toward the next stand of trees.
“Squirrel-size.” She held up a massive pinecone.
Lily laughed and the feeling—genuine, heartfelt—welled up from inside her.
Glancing at the steely waters of the Hudson River, her own tension melted as she took in the amazing vista.
The river felt like home. She could remember field trips to the many parks between Poughkeepsie and Hyde Park all through her elementary years. Sneaking down to the Main Mall as a teen. Her first time driving over the Mid-Hudson Bridge. Captaining the crew team as an undergrad. Watching Joey and Max play a thousand baseball games at the various diamonds along the river.
Watching fireworks from the middle of the burned-out railway bridge long before it had been renovated into the Walkway of the Hudson. In those days one treaded very carefully and tried not to hyperventilate at the sight of the Hudson flowing a hundred and twenty-five feet below through the ties.
The insanity of youth.
Those years were ahead for Madeleine. Lily wondered how Max, who so lovingly filled the roles of dad and mom, would weather that era when it came.
And would he tackle life’s challenges as a single parent, or would he become another woman’s perfect groom?
“Do you ever get tired of the view?” she asked, refusing to even venture down that road. Max Downey wasn’t the man for her. He wasn’t a man she could sleep with and never see again—not that she was into one-night stands. But Max came with attachments. His family and hers had history. Chemistry would fizzle out and that would leave years of awkwardness at family gatherings. Besides, she was in no condition to judge if they could be good together. Look at the mess she’d made with Lucas. She didn’t know how she could trust herself right now. Not until she’d had time to rest and clear her head so she could think clearly. Not make such poor choices. It was simply too soon. No matter that chemistry said otherwise.
He gave a light shrug, followed her gaze with those piercing eyes. “Not tired. I would say that I learn to appreciate it more with age.”
“I suppose it’s easy to take for granted when it’s your backyard.”
“I’ve lived my whole life in this house.”
“And spent so much time at mine. I could never figure that out. What was the attraction, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Max considered her, thoughtfully it seemed, almost as if he was gauging how honest he wanted to be. “You had everything I wanted in my life. I didn’t know what it was back then, but I felt it with your family even when I didn’t have a name for it. It’s the most important thing in the world.”
“What on earth did my family have that yours didn’t?” The very idea seemed impossible while standing here, on the family estate where three generations of Downeys had lived behind them, with the view of the majestic Hudson River in front of them.
“They have their priorities straight.”
“Wow. That wasn’t what I expected.”
His gaze had shifted from her to Madeleine, who was drifting closer to the overhang with every step she took. Not dangerously close but he knew she wasn’t paying attention. She was five. Max was on her in two long strides then one touch on her shoulder redirected her.
“What did you expect me to say?” he asked.
“I’m not sure. Maybe I’m not even sure what you mean. Priorities straight. It can’t be love because I happen to know how much your mother loves you and your brothers. I remember how difficult it was for her when you all left for college. You have no idea how much she missed you.”
A smile played around his mouth. “I know she loves me. I love her. But you’ve got to understand there’s a lot of business cluttering the family. There are obligations and opinions about how each of us conduct ourselves and manage our obligations. That sort of pressure creates distance. We’re every-man-for-himself around here. It’s never as simple as Joey deciding to follow in your dad’s footsteps and take over the hardware store. Your family says, ‘Cool.’ And when Caroline says she would die before sorting through nuts and bolts because she wants to be a nurse, you all say, ‘That’s cool, too.’ Mike wants to be a cop. Lily Susan wants to plan weddings. No problem. Everyone supports everyone els
e. Your family has their priorities straight.”
“So you’re not a rebel, then?”
“Is that what you thought?”
“Yes and no,” she admitted. “I didn’t really know. Joey was no help whatsoever. He’s older than I am. I was never a confidant or a contemporary. I’m still not.”
“He loves you.”
“I know, but he’s a protective big brother. Not like—” She couldn’t get the word out of her mouth. It was there one moment and stuck the next.
Not like Mike.
She wasn’t going there and redirected fast. “You know, Max, I think I’ve seen what you’re talking about with your mother. She’s a closet CEO and always has been. I could never figure out why she didn’t have her own career. Not that she doesn’t accomplish amazing things with her charities and organizations. She does a lot of good work that reflects well on your family.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. That’s her role. Social. Charitable. Philanthropic. Maybe if she’d married into the family now—not forty years ago—she might have claimed some family business interest of her own. But she was groomed to take over my grandmother’s place and had no other options.”
“If her past year at my local office has been any indication, that may ultimately change.”
Max looked amused. “So I noticed. Hence one of the very reasons I asked you to plan Raymond’s wedding. Between Madeleine and the Herald, I don’t have the time to rein her in.”
“I’ll have you know that she is contributing invaluably to Raymond’s wedding and as a team player. Not to mention the renovations she supervised at my office the past year, Max. Seriously. You may think that renovating and redecorating may seem right up her alley, but she has a marvelous head for business. She made the renovation budget stretch to the point of screaming in very creative ways.”
“Is that why you never bought out her shares?”
Lily nodded. “I understood she wanted to be a part of something that was her own, and I care about your mother. She believed in me when no one else did. I owed her the same.”
His gaze was on Madeleine again—his daughter was still determined to fill her basket first. “You spend so much time away from your family, Lily Susan. I could never figure that out. What’s the deal there, if you don’t mind me asking?”
He turned her curiosity around and pointed it at her. She would be unfair not to be as honest. “I love them all very much. I keep in touch. They come to visit me. But I won’t lie. They can be overwhelming. Everyone’s involved in what everyone else is doing. There’s a lot of pressure with that, too. Just so you know.” Especially when they didn’t approve of what she was doing. “I had things I wanted to accomplish, and I couldn’t do that here.” She waved a hand around to encompass everything from Overlook and Hyde Park to her dad’s hardware store in the Valley.
“Are you happy?”
That question took some consideration. “You know, at any other time in my life, I might have had an answer for you. But not right now. I don’t really know what I am beyond tired. And stressed. I’m very tired and very stressed.”
They walked along in silence for a few minutes, the wind whipping around them, cold despite the bright sun. Madeleine turned back to them, raising her basket high.
“I win!”
“Thank you,” Max said simply.
“For what?”
“For being honest with me. For accepting Madeleine’s invitation. It means a lot to her.”
“Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter. And for satisfying my curiosity.” Her smile suddenly seemed to cover her face. She liked that she’d pleased this man, so much more than was smart. “And for the pinecones.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LILY WAITED in the office for Mara’s return as long as she could before finally having to leave. She was due at Riley’s to inspect the cleaning crews’ work in the barn. They had finished this weekend, and now her family volunteers were wrapping up with the last of the nitpicky details before Lily and her vendors could get in to start setting up. She’d hoped to take the decorations that Mara had picked up, but it looked as though it wasn’t meant to be. Lily would simply make another trip.
Life had degenerated into ticking minutes, where she crammed as many details as she could into each one. Her time on the road was spent on the phone to confirm myriad details—photography times, installation of electrical outlets, checking that the napkins matching the chair ties had arrived, verifying the times for the hair and makeup people to arrive. Sleep, when she managed some, was a means for her to dream up solutions to whatever problems had arisen with any one of the two local weddings or the other six events in production all over the world.
There were always problems. Too many out of her control.
As she locked the office door and headed down the steps, Lily took a chance and depressed the speed dial.
Mara picked up before the second ring. “Good afternoon and welcome to Lawsuits Are Us.”
“What are you talking about?”
Silence on the other end of the line. Not good. “Mara?”
“You haven’t been online have you?”
The bottom fell out of Lily’s stomach. “Oh, God. Now what?”
“Forget I said anything.”
“I wish. Let me have it.”
“‘Demons versus Angels—the lawsuits,’” Mara began to read. “‘Brazilian runway model Catalina Delmonico has sued Interbay Press, LLC, owner of blog.ging.com for libel and is seeking ten million dollars in damages. The lawsuit, over an independent blog hosted on the defendant’s blog.ging.com server, cites that the flawed registration process has allowed vicious lies about the plaintiff designed to defame her and cause harm to her career to be published under the condition of anonymity that protects the defamer and violates the plaintiff’s civil rights.’”
“This fire is never going to burn out and I’m going to roast in this mess for all eternity.”
“I’m sorry, Lily. For making jokes and for running late. Are you okay?”
“Does that woman really think her career is worth ten million dollars?”
“I guess this means she isn’t pregnant. She should unload all clingy T-shirts from her wardrobe or do some crunches. I saw the photo and she does look thick around the waist.”
Lily appreciated the attempt to make her feel better. “Lucas called me specifically to tell me that if that woman was pregnant, he didn’t know anything about it. Think I should believe him?” She didn’t give Mara a chance to reply. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“Not from where I’m standing.”
“Where are you standing by the way? I waited in the office as long as I could. Where are the rest of my decorations?”
“I’m so sorry. I’m on my way back now. The party supply store sent the wrong size boxes with our order.”
“Please tell me everything worked out.”
“It did. Just took time to sort through. But on the bright side, Lily, be happy that the blog from hell is finally out of commission. It’s about time someone was held accountable for the unsubstantiated trash being published about us. If those posts had run in print, your attorney would have slapped a ten-million-dollar libel lawsuit against the publisher a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry the cease-and-desist letter my attorney sent didn’t do the trick.” Lily almost tripped over the curb getting to the door of the rental car she’d picked up. Finally. A sporty little MINI-Cooper since all she did was drive nowadays. The muscle below her eye was twitching. “I’m in hell.”
“No, you’re on vacation.”
“I’m vacationing in hell, then.”
There was laughter. “Be that as it may, you can relax in the hot weather. Close your eyes and pretend you’re on a beach in San Remo.”
She slipped into the car and popped in the Bluetooth. “Please tell me that you’re on schedule with the Eversham/Raichle event.” Please distract me while I drive. “I need
to hear that one wedding is working out the way it’s supposed to without any aggravation.”
“Eversham and Raichle are quite happy and everything is on schedule. Anything else going on?”
“You mean other than attorneys and lawsuits? Nothing earthshaking. I haven’t heard yet from Zian and he promised he’d touch base after the Chin/Lime reception was over.”
“Come on, Lily. He’s probably still clearing out stragglers who don’t want to leave the open bar. We tasted that signature drink Chef Josh created for the couple at the last inquiry review meeting. I had to flag a taxi so I could get to my hotel. I didn’t trust myself to walk two blocks. If we were guests, Zian would be dragging us away from the bar, too. I’m sure he’ll call as soon as he can.”
“So I should go with no news is good news?”
“Absolutely.” That was Mara, ever the optimist.
On an up note, everything else happening in the field today seemed to be holding its own. Lily had already had her daily conversation with the main office. But for some reason, the act of discussing work wasn’t having its usual calming effect.
Especially as Lily drove beneath the overpass of the railroad tracks and recognized where she was.
“Damn it.” The curse was out of her mouth as she saw it.
“What?” Mara asked.
“Not you. The cemetery.”
“Oh.” There wasn’t much more to say than that. Mara understood the significance. “Let me tell you about the supply house goof-up. That’ll distract you.”
“Thank you.”
Mara launched into a tale about the boxes packed with items that in no way resembled what they’d ordered for the soda bar and the cider stations for Riley’s wedding.
Lily listened, but she could no more peel her gaze from the cemetery than she could have driven blindfolded. There it was stretching out behind a black iron fence, gravestones in all shapes and varieties of stone and manner of decay for as far as she could see.
Why on earth had she driven this way? She didn’t have time to stop for a long-overdue visit right now, so why? Once Salt Point Turnpike had been a back road to the Valley that bypassed traffic on Routes 44 and 55. But she hadn’t driven this way since she’d been home, not until she had time to stop.
No Groom Like Him Page 14
