by Brenda Novak
“I know,” she said with a teasing grin. “But it might take a while to get over you.”
“Emery—”
“It’s fine,” she insisted. “It won’t even be awkward anymore. I’m going to go spend Christmas with my mother. She and my grandmother need me, and I should be there for them.”
He stopped dancing again. “When did you decide that?”
She was slightly gratified that he didn’t seem pleased by the news. “During the ceremony. The wedding made me realize that what I’m going through isn’t the end of the world. My mother has lost the love of her life after sharing thirty-one years with him. My grandmother can’t even remember my name. What both of them are going through is worse. I’m young and resilient. I’ll find my way through what Ethan has done.” She’d been hesitant to spend money she would need later, but she’d figure that out somehow. How could she not go and support them?
“But Christmas is only a week away.”
“Meaning...”
“You must be leaving soon.”
“You’ve stopped dancing again, and people are staring at us as it is.”
Once more, he started to sway to the music. “So when are you leaving?”
“I’m thinking Monday.”
“That’s only the day after tomorrow,” he complained. “That leaves us with almost no time.”
“Right. This dance is about all I have left of you, so you’d better shut up and let me enjoy it,” she joked. Then she closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his chest.
* * *
It was hard for Dallas not to go after Emery when she left the reception. She reminded him of Aiyana, who always offered her love without expecting anything in return. That was what made it so therapeutic, so potent and liberating.
Was he making a mistake letting her go?
“What’s wrong?”
Hearing his mother’s voice, he turned to find her at his elbow. “Nothing.”
“I saw you dancing with Emery,” she said. “The whole room was abuzz with it.”
“This town loves gossip.”
“Any small town loves gossip. Did she leave?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Is she okay?”
“Seems to be. She was tired of being on her feet and needed to lie down.”
“I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did, poor girl.”
He scowled at the doorway through which he’d seen Emery go. “She’ll only be in Silver Springs another day.”
“Where’s she going? Back to LA?”
“No. To spend Christmas with her mother and grandmother.”
Aiyana nodded. “That’s good. I bet her mother will be very glad to see her.”
He glanced around to make sure he could speak without being overheard. The room was crowded, but with the music playing and the roar of voices talking over it, he knew he was safe. “She told me she loves me,” he said.
Aiyana, who’d just taken a drink, started to cough.
“Are you okay?”
Her eyes were watering by the time she was able to say, “Sorry, that went down the wrong pipe.”
“I surprised you.”
“That you would tell me surprised me. I already knew she felt something for you. You can see it in her face whenever she looks at you.”
“So what do I do?”
“That depends...”
“On...”
“Whether you love her back.”
“What if I don’t know?” He knew a lot of things—that he enjoyed being with her. That he’d never been so turned on by someone sexually. That she was a wonderful person. But he’d always considered himself incapable of the kind of love a lifelong relationship would require. And she deserved a man who could offer her that.
Besides, he couldn’t settle down without giving up his sponsorship. What woman would be happy to see him head to Europe for half the year or more?
“Then I hope you find out soon, because letting her go could be the biggest mistake of your life,” his mother said.
The conversation ended there. Cal approached and drew Aiyana away, and she was once again caught up in the whirlwind that was her reception. She chatted and laughed with her guests, cut the cake, spoke about her love and gratitude for Cal in a toast—and he did the same for her—and they danced their first dance as a married couple before driving off on their honeymoon later that evening.
But even as Dallas and his brothers got busy cleaning up and piling all the rental stuff in one section so he could return it on Monday, Emery’s hands on his face as she gazed up at him and said, “I’m in love with you” played like a video loop in his mind.
Maybe he was foolish not to jump at the chance to be with a woman like her. She was the girl he’d wanted even back in high school.
But how could he take the risk of loving as deeply as she deserved to be loved?
Maybe he put himself in physical danger—challenged himself to climb steeper and steeper mountains—because he was too much of a coward to walk out on an emotional ledge. After all, he’d experienced the worst kind of fall. There were plenty of days when he felt as though that part of him—the deepest core responsible for trust and bonding—was still splattered on the ground.
25
Dallas couldn’t sleep with Emery right upstairs, knowing she wouldn’t be around much longer. Every minute that ticked away felt like another minute wasted. They should be taking better advantage of the time they had left, shouldn’t they?
He repeatedly checked his phone, hoping she’d text him. He even went up and stood at her door two different times, but he couldn’t bring himself to knock. He didn’t want to bother her if staying away from him was her best way of coping.
“Shit,” he muttered, when he returned, once again, to his own room. He’d just taken off his clothes and was about to put his phone on the charger when he received a text message.
He grabbed his phone. Sure enough, it was Emery.
Would you quit prowling around the house? You’re not making this any easier.
She ended it with a laughing emoji, so he knew she wasn’t seriously put out and was surprised by the relief he felt that he now had the chance to engage her. He’d been losing his mind.
I know I’m the asshole who can’t commit in this situation. But it’s not like I don’t feel anything. We don’t have to make love, but won’t you come down and sleep with me, at least? I just want to feel you next to me.
You know what will happen if I come down.
I can’t say I don’t want that. But even if it happens—would that be so terrible?
When she didn’t respond, he thought the answer was yes—it would be too terrible.
But about fifteen minutes later, when he was lying in bed, wondering what she was thinking or if she’d just drifted off to sleep, he heard his door open and then the soft poof of whatever she’d been wearing as it hit the floor.
* * *
Dallas attempted to do nothing more than welcome Emery into his bed and curl up with her in his arms. He was glad she’d come to his room—grateful just to be with her. He didn’t need anything else. But when she started kissing his neck and her hand slid down his stomach, he knew if he didn’t stop her right away he wouldn’t be able to prove he hadn’t asked her to come down for that reason.
“I meant it when I said we don’t have to do this,” he told her, catching her hand.
“And you had a point when you said it probably wouldn’t matter if we did, not with me leaving on Monday.”
He hated that she sounded so fatalistic about making love with him, that she saw it as their last hurrah before she was gone and this Christmas became nothing but a memory. He didn’t want to let her go; he just couldn’t see another way.
“Dallas?” she whispered when he didn’t release her hand.
> Already rock-hard, he was too aroused to refuse what she was offering. He was always ready to make love to her.
“Okay,” he whispered, and his heart began to pound as her fingers curled around him. If this might possibly be their last time together, he wanted to take it slow, to make love for hours. But all his good intentions came to nothing when she pulled him on top of her. Then he couldn’t get inside her fast enough, and he didn’t even care that the bed kept hitting the wall.
“We can stay in touch, can’t we? Maybe after a few years, everything will be different,” he gasped in the middle of it all. “A little time could change everything.”
“But the opposite is also true,” she said arching into him as though trying to join them even deeper. “We could hang on—and never go anywhere.”
Despite the reality of her words, he couldn’t think of anything beyond the taste and smell of her, and the warm friction created by the movement of their bodies.
“Damn it,” he said when he came almost right away. “I couldn’t stop.”
“I didn’t want you to stop.” She kissed him and started to get up, but he pulled her back down. “No you don’t. This isn’t over yet. Give me a few minutes.”
“But I can’t stay. I’m afraid we’ll fall asleep, and I’ll forget to go back to my own bed.”
“I’ll set an alarm. Where’s your phone?”
She gave him the code as she handed it to him, and he set an alarm for five-thirty. There was no way any of his brothers would be getting up before then, and Aiyana was gone. “Now we have most of the night,” he told her.
She set her phone on the nightstand and spooned him as they fell asleep, and they made love again an hour later. This time Dallas managed to take it as slow as he wanted, and was gratified when she cried out, and he had to cover her mouth with his own so that she wouldn’t wake Seth in the next room.
“God, that was good,” she whispered as she fell back on the pillows, completely spent.
Dallas smoothed her hair off her face. “I owed you one.”
They remained entwined until they’d both recovered, at which point he curled around her but didn’t drift off. He stared into the darkness, waiting until her breathing evened out. Then he reached over to get her phone, put in her password and sent Ethan Grimes’s contact information to his own phone.
Sunday, December 20
Emery had gone back to bed in her own room after her alarm went off, so she was alone when she called her mother the next morning.
“Hi, honey. How are you?”
She propped the second pillow behind her head. Although she’d listened before getting on the phone, she couldn’t hear anyone moving around downstairs or anywhere else. Apparently the boys were sleeping in even later than she had. “Better.”
“You are?”
Emery thought about the attack by that cowboy at the Blue Suede Shoe but decided not to mention it to her mother. There wasn’t anything Connie could do about it, anyway. “I am. Definitely. And I’ve decided to come visit you for Christmas. Would you be able to pick me up at the airport tomorrow?”
“You’re coming here?” her mother said, and immediately broke into tears. “I...I didn’t want to ask you to come, but... I’m so glad you are.”
A lump rose in Emery’s own throat—along with a measure of guilt for making this decision so late and letting her mother believe they wouldn’t be together for Christmas. But she’d been coping with her own difficulties and doing the best she could. “I considered surprising you, but the flight’s going to be expensive. I decided to save the price of an Uber, if I could.”
“Of course. I’ll load your grandmother up, and we’ll both be there. She’ll be so excited.”
If Adele could even remember who she was. Emery knew this probably wouldn’t be the best Christmas she’d ever spent. She’d avoided going to Boston for a reason. But at least her mother wouldn’t be left to continue to deal with Adele’s memory loss on her own.
“What time?” Connie asked.
Emery hadn’t even arranged her flight. Christmas was only six days away; she hoped they wouldn’t be booked. “I’ll text you as soon as I get my ticket.”
They talked about the cold front that had set in back East, how much more it was going to cost to heat Grandma’s house and what they should make for Christmas dinner. Emery was just about to hang up when her mother asked, “Have you heard from your father?”
Emery had never called him back. “He left me a message on Friday, saying he’d made you another offer. Is it one you can accept?”
“It’s not much better than the other one, but I don’t think Deseret will ever be fair. And there’s something to be said for avoiding the upset and just...being done with the whole thing. What do you think?”
“I feel the same about Ethan and KQLA.”
“Does that mean you’re dropping the lawsuit?”
This was the question she’d been wrestling with since Friday night. She desperately wanted to walk away and leave it all behind her. But that would mean Ethan and Heidi and that “Terrell,” or whoever he really was, would get away with what they’d done. “No. I can’t. I owe it to myself to hold them accountable.”
“That’s true,” her mother agreed. “And I owe it to myself to make your father treat me fairly. I’m going to reject his offer. We’ll hang tough together.”
Emery smiled at the sudden strength that had entered Connie’s voice. Marvin had wanted Emery’s help, and she’d done the opposite. But at least she felt good about it.
After she hung up, she went online and purchased a plane ticket that would put her in Boston at 9:30 p.m. It cost way more than she wanted to spend, but she tried not to worry about that. She’d get on her feet again.
She hated leaving Susan in the lurch at the cookie store, but she found solace in the fact that Susan wouldn’t be any worse off than she’d found her. She’d actually given Susan some support when she’d needed it most, so she hoped that had helped enough. Because she couldn’t stay any longer. She had to be there for her mother despite the expense. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized it sooner.
Planning to tell Susan when she went in that today would be her last day, she took a quick shower and went downstairs to make bacon and egg sandwiches for Aiyana’s sons—the ones who were staying in Aiyana’s house, anyway. She figured the least she could do was cook a final meal before taking off. Aiyana had done so much for her.
Dallas was the first one to enter the kitchen. He grinned the second he saw her, but then his gaze lowered to her neck and his expression hardened. She could tell he’d spotted the terrible bruises he hadn’t been able to see at the wedding, because of that scarf, or last night, thanks to the darkness.
Grabbing her hand to get her to hold still, he ran a finger gently along the outline of them. “The man who did this had better hope I never find him. Ethan had better watch out for me, too.”
She slipped away to put some bread in the toaster. “Enough terrible things have happened. The last thing I need is to worry about you.”
“You won’t have to worry about me. By the time I’m done with Ethan, you won’t have to worry about him or his friends, either.”
She lifted her chin defiantly. “I’m glad I didn’t give you his number. With my luck, you’d wind up in jail.”
Dallas didn’t seem concerned. “I know where he lives. That should be enough.”
“Don’t go to his house. I’m not dropping the suit. When he realizes that he’s not off the hook, there’s no telling what he might do. If he could hire someone to hurt me, he could certainly do the same to you.”
“I’m not scared of him.”
She couldn’t bear the thought of dragging Dallas any further into her mess, especially now that they were going their separate ways. “Please?”
“Sorry. I won’t lea
ve you at risk,” he said simply and, using his body, pressed her up against the cabinets as he kissed her.
Emery’s hands went up almost of their own volition and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt.
The sound of someone clearing his throat caused Dallas to step away.
“Good morning,” Seth said cheerfully, and headed over to the coffeemaker to pour himself a cup. “You two didn’t get enough of that last night?”
Emery’s face went instantly hot, but Dallas tried to play it off. “Enough of what?”
Seth sent him a sardonic glance. “You forget—my room is right next to yours.”
“God, don’t you ever sleep?” Dallas grumbled with a scowl.
“Unfortunately, not very often. And thanks to the two of you, last night was worse than usual.”
“I’m so sorry,” Emery mumbled, but Dallas merely laughed.
“He’s teasing,” he said. “My brother has the driest sense of humor you’ll ever find.”
“I don’t hold it against you.” Seth lifted his cup in her direction. “Obviously, he’s irresistible. It’s him I blame.”
“So? Take a nap this afternoon,” Dallas said, and caught Emery’s chin so he could kiss her right in front of him.
Seth watched dispassionately. Then he said—and even Emery could tell he was serious—“I hope you’re not going to be a fool where she’s concerned.”
His words caused Dallas’s demeanor to darken. But Emery had no idea how to interpret Seth’s comment, because she didn’t know what constituted a fool in his eyes.
“Stay out of it,” Dallas warned, serious now, too.
* * *
Once Emery left for work, Dallas walked outside to call Ethan. Emery was gone, but he didn’t want any of his brothers to overhear his conversation. Although he was tempted to drive to LA and teach Ethan the kind of immediate and painful lesson the douchebag deserved, he knew that might only get him arrested.
He couldn’t be that stupid. Instead, he’d decided on what he hoped would be a better plan. He could always resort to a physical confrontation if this other idea didn’t work.
