by Amy Cross
Staring at the mirror, Jonah saw flashes of his own eyes staring back at him, and a moment later he saw more stitches on his bald head, this time with a faint depression on one side where the surgery had taken place. A moment later, the mirror was closed and slipped away.
“Well,” Doctor Steiner continued, getting to his feet, “you certainly won't be winning any beauty competitions any time soon, that's for sure. Father Skallen is going to come and speak to you later today. I'm not really in favor of the idea, but the others think it might be clinically useful to try a slightly different approach. One way or another, we need to know whether we've finally cured you.”
“You killed her,” Jonah whispered.
“Nurse Alesund? No, I'm afraid that was all you.”
“But you knew I'd do it.”
Steiner sighed.
“You knew,” Jonah continued, as the rage grew in his chest, “and you used her as bait for my dark side, to see if it was still in my head. You knew damn well what I'd do!”
“No, we knew there was a chance. We hoped you wouldn't, but...” The doctor paused for a moment. “We're still committed to helping you, Jonah. Perhaps we were naive when we thought that we could succeed so quickly, but the truth is, this is a long-haul situation. You might never be fully normal, Jonah, and I think the chances of you ever being allowed to leave this facility are virtually zero, but we can improve the quality of your life and we can learn from you, so that we can apply new findings to other patients.” Turning, he headed to the door. “Your life will still mean something, Jonah Lund.”
“Please...” Jonah whispered. “Just kill me. You can't fix me, so just make me die. I don't want to hurt anyone else.”
“Nonsense,” the doctor added, stepping into the corridor and glancing back at him. “Think of the progress you're going to help us make. Don't be selfish, man. Your suffering will be used to improve the lives of others for generations to come.” With that, he pulled the door shut.
“Please,” Jonah continued, with tears in his eyes as he thought back to the moment he first saw the nurse's smile, “kill me...” As soon as he heard the door being locked, his rage began to boil over. “Come back!” he shouted, straining at his chains. “Kill me! Get back here and kill me!”
***
“It's natural to have a kind of spiritual crisis when things are tough,” Father Skallen explained a few hours later, sitting next to Jonah's bed. “You're in pain, and you've seen some terrible things, things that no-one should ever have to see. You might be starting to feel as if God has abandoned you, but I want you to know that he never abandons any of his children. He's watching over you right now, and everything that is happening is part of his plan for you. Does that make you feel even slightly better?”
“God isn't watching me,” Jonah whispered. “If he was, he'd take pity on me and end all of this right now.”
“God has been watching over you from the moment you were born,” Skallen replied, “and he'll be watching over you until the day you draw your final breath.”
“Was he watching over Trine when I killed her?”
Skallen opened his mouth to reply, but he paused for a moment, as if the words wouldn't come.
“Was he watching over the little boy I killed, or that pregnant woman? Was he watching over the man I killed in Stavanger a couple of years ago, that no-one ever even pinned on me?”
Skallen looked down at the Bible in his hands, as if he was hoping for a sudden flash of inspiration.
“Maybe he was watching over me once,” Jonah continued, as he felt a brief wave of pain in the back of his head, “when I was just a baby. I mean, every baby has a chance, right? Maybe for the first year or two, maybe then God was watching over me, but then... When I saw that... thing...” His voice trailed off for a moment, as he felt a shiver pass through his body.
“What thing?” the priest asked.
“I was just a boy,” Jonah continued, with tears in his eyes. “I wasn't born evil, Father. On that, at least, you might be right. I was a happy boy once, I had friends and I played... But that all changed when I...”
Skallen waited for him to continue, but after a moment he realized that Jonah seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.
“When you what?” he asked finally. “Jonah? What happened to you as a boy?”
“I went inside.”
“Inside where?”
“The...” He paused, as his mind's eye flashed back to the day, all those years ago, when as a five-year-old boy he'd stood in the dirt, on a bright summer's day, and stared through into the darkness. “The barn,” he whispered finally. “The farm.”
As soon as he heard those words, Skallen leaned forward in his chair. “Which farm?”
“Everyone always said, you never go into that barn.” He paused again, with tears running down his face. “All the other children knew there was something in there, something bad. Even the adults knew. If they heard us talking about it, they told us to stop. I think it was bad when they were young too, I think that barn has been bad for a long, long time. They all kept away, but I...”
“You're talking about the barn at Bondalen, aren't you? At the farm there?”
After staring straight ahead for a moment longer, Jonah slowly nodded.
Skallen waited for him to continue. “Did you... Jonah, did you go inside that barn?”
“It was calling to me. I went to the farm one day with the other children. We were trespassing, but we knew the farmer was off on one of his other fields. We stood outside the barn and dared each other to go inside, but none of us would do it. Eventually we went off and played somewhere else. The others said they'd felt something trying to lure them inside, but the difference was... I felt it more strongly. I knew I had to go in, so later, I went back alone.”
“What did you see?”
“It took me a long time to dare myself to step inside, but eventually...” Pausing, he remembered the moment he'd stepped out of the sunlight and into the barn's dark interior. Answering the call.
“Jonah,” the priest continued, “tell me what you saw in there.”
Opening his mouth to reply, Jonah thought back to the cold darkness of the barn. There had been something there, something waiting, something calling out to him, not with words but with thoughts, wrapping itself into his mind. He'd gone further, fighting the urge to run, disappearing completely into the darkness, approaching the thing at the far end, the thing that had been hiding for so long, the thing that wanted him. He'd told himself it wasn't really there, but finally he'd seen its true form, and he'd felt its foul heart beating in his soul.
He could almost feel it now.
“Jonah,” Father Skallen hissed. “Tell me what you saw!”
Suddenly Jonah remembered himself walking out of the barn again, a little while later, back into the sunlight.
“I don't remember,” he said finally. “I've never been able to remember what happened in there, what I saw. I only know that I was changed that day, and that the voice has been in my head ever since. That's where it came from.”
“But what did you see?”
“I saw...”
“Tell me, man! What is in that barn?”
“Something bad. Something evil.”
“But what is it? What does it look like?”
Closing his eyes, Jonah tried to remember, but after a moment he felt the pain starting to throb in his mind, forcing the memory back into the shadows. All he knew for certain was that it had been something that had put a speck of darkness into his mind, and that the speck had been growing ever since, and that even Doctor Steiner's best efforts couldn't cut it out.
“If I'd never gone into that barn,” he said finally, “if I hadn't let it lure me in, I might have been normal.” He tried to reach up to wipe the tears from his eyes, but his hands were still chained to the bed.
“I've heard stories about the barn at Bondalen,” Father Skallen said after a moment, “but I thought that's all they were.
Stories. Even when I was growing up, people used to talk about that place, it always had a strange kind of atmosphere about it. One of my friends once claimed he'd gone in and that there was nothing there, but then we found out he'd chickened out and just gone to buy sweets at the shop down the road, while the rest of us waited in the playground for him to come back.”
“Whatever's in there,” Jonah replied, “it's to blame for what I've become. It's to blame for a lot of things around here.”
“You must take responsibility for your own actions and -”
“It's not my fault!” Jonah shouted suddenly, trying to climb off the bed, only for the chains to hold him back. “It's too late to save me now! I don't want pity, I want you to kill me!”
“Please -”
“If you have any Christian faith in your soul,” Jonah continued, still pulling on his chains, “you'll -”
He stopped as, suddenly, he felt the metal rail coming loose on the side of the bed. Realizing that Skallen hadn't noticed, he lay back down for a moment and kept his right hand hidden as he worked to slip the chains over the rail's closest end. His mind was racing as he tried to work out how he might be able to escape, but he knew he had to be careful. He might never get another chance to get away from the hospital and...
He paused, as he finally realized what he had to do.
He had to go back to the farm and kill whatever was waiting there.
“Perhaps someone should go and look in that barn,” Skallen said cautiously. “Some men should go and open it up, see what's really inside.”
“They won't,” Jonah said firmly.
“It might put an end to all this madness.”
“You could only put an end to it by burning the place down,” Jonah replied, “and even then... Whatever's in there, it can lure people in, but it can also keep them out. It hasn't survived all these years without defenses. You'll walk out of this place today and within ten paces you'll barely remember talking about the barn, you'll forget you believed a word I told you, and one way or another, you'll end up not doing a damn thing about it. That's one of the ways it's managed to stay there for so long.”
“We'll see about that,” Skallen replied, getting to his feet and heading over to his bag in the far corner of the cell. “I shall come back tomorrow,” he added, slipping his Bible away, “and perhaps you'll be a little more receptive to my words.”
Once the priest's back was turned to him, Jonah looked down at his right arm and managed to twist the chains off the rail. Reaching around, he guided the other chains around the rail, making sure to not make too much noise, until he pulled the final chain away. Sitting up, he realized that he was free, but he also knew it wouldn't be easy to get out of the hospital. He'd need a hostage.
“I think you'll start to see things my way soon enough,” Skallen continued, picking up his bag and turning to him. “There's really only one way to -”
He froze as he saw Jonah climbing off the bed.
“Wait -”
Without giving him a chance to say another word, Jonah lunged at the priest, knocking him back against the wall and clamping a hand over his mouth.
“One sound,” he hissed, “and I'll rip your goddamn throat out. You might not want to believe me, Father, but I'm a very inventive man when it comes to killing people. You might even say that I'm Death himself. In fact, hell, I like that idea quite a lot!”
Staring back at him with terrified eyes, Skallen briefly tried to get free before seemingly realizing that there was no point struggling.
“I'm getting out of here,” Jonah continued, “but you don't need to worry, I'm not going to go and kill anyone else, not just for fun, anyway. That's actually the last thing I want. I'm just going to find a way to end all of this pain and misery, not just for me but for everyone else too. Maybe I'll burn that goddamn barn down, and then I'll stay right inside while it happens. It's the best thing, Father. Now, I'll kill you if I have to, but -” He paused, as he felt a sharp pain in his head. “Don't make me do that,” he added finally, grimacing a little. “You're going to come with me on the way out of here, do you understand? I'll let you go once I'm clear. Nod if you understand.”
The priest nodded quickly.
Letting go of the man's face, Jonah grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him toward the door.
“Tell the guard outside that you're ready to leave.”
“But -”
“Tell him!”
Taking a cautious step forward, Skallen raised his trembling fist and paused for a moment before knocking on the door.
“You done, Father?” called out a voice from the other side.
“I...” Skallen turned back to look at Jonah for a moment, before facing the door again. “I am,” he replied, his voice trembling with fear. “Thank you.”
“You're doing God's work,” Jonah whispered, as they heard the door being unlocked. “Maybe you were right. Maybe God is watching me again, and he knows I need to get out of here so I can put a stop to all of this. I don't reckon God much likes whatever's in that barn either.”
“Okay,” the guard said, swinging the door open. “Did -” Stopping suddenly, he saw the empty bed.
Without giving the guard a chance to react, Jonah reached around and grabbed his neck, before slamming the man's head into the metal door with enough force to knock him out instantly. Pushing the unconscious body to the floor, he reached down and relieved him of his keys and gun, before turning aiming the gun at Skallen's terrified face.
“Lead the way,” he said, a little breathlessly. “Get me out of this place.”
Raising his hands as if in surrender, Skallen turned and led Jonah out into the corridor, and then along to a door at the far end. He kept glancing over his shoulder, as if he was running through the various options, but he clearly knew that there was no way he could fight back.
“If we meet anyone else,” the priest said with fear in his voice, “should I -”
“Let me worry about that,” Jonah told him. “If we take the door at the far end, we should end up on the decking at the back, shouldn't we?”
“Yes, but -”
“So move.” Pushing the priest in the back, he forced him to walk a little faster. “I will shoot you if I have to, Father. The only thing that matters to me right now is getting to that barn and destroying whatever's in there.”
“Maybe you're not thinking straight -”
“I'm thinking straight for the first time in years,” he said firmly as they reached the door. “I know what I have to do.”
“But -”
“Out of the way,” Jonah said, pushing him to one side and trying each of the guard's keys until he managed to get the door unlocked. Pulling it open, he was surprised to see that darkness had fallen outside. “I didn't even know it was night,” he continued with a hint of awe, before grabbing the priest and pushing him out onto the decking. Stepping after him, he looked to the right and saw that he was almost in the exact same spot where he'd been when he killed the nurse. Blinking a couple of times, he saw her bloodied face in the moonlight, almost as if she was still there.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps running away. He turned and saw that Skallen was racing back into the building.
“Help!” the priest shouted. “He's getting -”
Raising the gun, Jonah fired, hitting him in the right leg just below the knee. He fired again, hitting him in the same spot as the man dropped to the floor with a cry of pain.
Hearing voices shouting in the distance, he realized he had to get moving. He ran across the decking and vaulted the railing; the drop on the other side was a little higher than he'd expected and he stumbled as he landed, rolling down a shallow incline before coming to a rest in the mud. As he got to his feet, he realized he'd lost the gun, but there was no time to find it now; three orderlies had already reached the decking just above him, so he turned and ran between the pine trees. He could hear them shouting for him to stop, but he knew that nothing else mattered no
w, he just had to get to the Bondalen farm and kill whatever was in the barn.
“Jonah!” a voice shouted from far behind him. “For God's sake man, stop!”
Stumbling onward, he began to feel weak. Leaning against one of the trees for a moment, he tried to catch his breath, but the pain in his head was getting worse and -
Suddenly someone grabbed him from behind and tried to pull him back. Twisting around, he grabbed the orderly by the throat and squeezed tight, while pushing him down to the ground. There were more voices in the distance, but Jonah could focus only on one thing, as adrenalin coursed through his veins and he tried to squeeze the last life out of the man he was holding.
“That's right,” the voice whispered in his head. “Kill another one.”
Finally, realizing that he had no time to wait, he turned and ran again, struggling to keep going as he darted between the trees, almost running straight into a few of them as they loomed out of the darkness. He'd lost all sense of direction, but he figured he could find his way in the morning, once he was free from his pursuers and the sun had come up.
And then he fell. Landing hard, he immediately tried to get up but found that he couldn't. He was starting to feel dizzy, and as he tried once again to find enough strength to keep running, he felt as if the entire world was spinning around him.
“You didn't really think you'd get away, did you?” whispered the voice at the back of his mind. “Look at you. You're pathetic.”
He reached forward, and as he stared at his trembling hand he saw the number 17019 tattooed on his flesh. He was just a number now, not a man; worse than that, he was someone else's property.
“Got you,” said one of the other orderlies, climbing onto his back and slipping a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. “If you think you were locked up tight before, wait until you see what we're going to have to do to you now.”
“Just let me go,” he gasped, still reaching out to the darkness up ahead. “I have to kill it. You don't understand, I have to make sure that it doesn't get into anyone else's mind! I have to -”
Before he could finish, he was hauled to his feet and the two orderlies began to pull him back to the hospital. When he continued to struggle, he felt a needle being driven into his neck, and finally his knees started to give way. He tried to scream, but it was too late as his mind sank once again into darkness.
