by Cass Sellars
“And,” Parker continued, “let’s say for the sake of argument that Michael was straight. Not only do you know that I am not, but I have made it quite obvious that Sydney is my girlfriend, Mother.”
Syd emptied her glass and filled it again, topping off Parker’s and Patrick’s before returning the second empty wine bottle to the silver tray.
Sylvia looked over at Sydney as if they were meeting for the first time. Syd avoided direct eye contact and took another bite from the fillet of pink fish.
“I don’t think that was much of a joke. That isn’t funny.” Sylvia was indignant as she forced another bite of her meal. “I was just trying to help you be happy,” she said with a pout.
“No, Mother, you weren’t trying to help me be happy. You were trying to help me not be a lesbian.”
Parker slipped a circle of cheese pasta past her lips and exhaled loudly, staring through the glass and into the night. Sydney imaged that exasperation was all she could taste.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the table. Patrick ate, Syd judged every nuance of Parker’s mood, and Sylvia pretended to be oblivious and slightly put out by the tone her daughter had taken with her. Sydney couldn’t help running her hand across Parker’s back. She could feel her relax at the soothing gesture.
Eventually, Syd succeeded in establishing common ground with Patrick and included Sylvia in conversation when she could. She explained her business, her education, and as much family history as she was willing, without revealing too much about her own family drama, much too recently visited.
During coffee their waiter informed the table that the bill was already paid. Patrick protested and Syd waved away his objections. “When we come to visit you, you can return the favor. I’ll look forward to it.” Syd meant to highlight the seriousness of her connection with their daughter.
Parker still steamed, pointedly ignoring her mother for the remainder of dinner and the trip home. Parker handled settling her parents into the loft, offering cursory hospitality and no reference to the evening’s uncomfortable conversation. She crossed the hall to finally fall into bed herself, but Syd stopped her angry flight to the bedroom.
“Talk to me,” she requested softly, pulling Parker’s rigid body against her.
“I guess I owe you an apology.” She relaxed slightly.
“For what?” Syd steered them toward the bed.
“For expecting you to handle your mother’s behavior without half a bottle of scotch. I could cheerfully finish off the other half right now.” Her delivery was angry.
“I behaved like a child having a tantrum and you won a cogent debate, hardly comparable, Park.”
“I knew she hated Dayne but I thought that was because Dayne never bothered to engage with her or they didn’t have anything in common. She doesn’t even know you and she acted like that.”
“I don’t think it matters to her who your date is as long as they are very completely and decidedly male. I’m no different in her eyes. The only thing I care about is being different in yours.”
Parker softened and she allowed Sydney to hold her. “Of course you’re different. I guess I have made you pay the price for Dayne’s legacy and I didn’t notice until my mother did it. Her reasons are shallow and ignorant of course but self-protective ones are no better an excuse.” Parker drew lines with her fingers over Syd’s back.
“Look at you. You should have been a psychologist.”
“Hardly. People prefer their counselors aren’t still exorcizing their own demons in session.” She rolled her eyes and wished her mother wasn’t so afraid of what other people thought. It would have made her own path to self-possession so much smoother.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Park. You’re perfect the way you are. Deep down, she knows that.”
“Thank you for being here. Dayne wouldn’t have gone at all, let alone tried to bring some maturity to the table.”
“Let’s face it, your dad was thoroughly amused by the conversation. Once he couldn’t stop it he just hung on. Your mom wants the best for you in her way and she manages to aim her insecurities at your partners instead of you. Take that small blessing for what it’s worth.” She tensed at the thought of her own mother who never bothered with surrogates.
“I’m sorry you had to put up with any of it. It isn’t fair, regardless of motivation.”
“If it means that after all of it, I get to wake up with you in my arms, then I would take on two of both our moms.” Syd guided Parker onto the pillow and pulled her against her shoulder.
“A fate worse than death in my humble opinion,” Parker said. “I love being with you—you make me happy.”
“I don’t remember what it felt like to be without you, but I know that we were meant to be here.” Sydney wanted to say it, wanted her to feel it. A tiny part of her was scared she never would.
“Do you believe in fate?” Parker asked.
“Since Parker Duncan was repelled by me at the Pride and is sleeping beside me now? How could I not?”
“Stop it. You scared me, that’s all. You are quite a force of nature, Ms. Hyatt.”
“I am nothing compared to the person who blinded me to every other woman in Virginia.”
“Just Virginia?” Parker looked up in mock disappointment.
“Well the planet but I didn’t want your head to swell too much.”
Parker silently reasoned that it was her heart she worried about. She chose to love Sydney without the words because she wouldn’t dare jinx it.
Syd pulled the covers over Parker’s shoulders and waited for sleep. They both recognized the irony of falling asleep in Syd’s bed after Parker’s mother had driven her mad. After all, it was only yesterday they had done just the opposite courtesy of Pamela Hyatt.
Chapter Twenty-two
Syd made a large pot of coffee and opened the barn door to the hallway. She unlocked the door to Parker’s loft and cracked it as if to entice the temporary residents over to her home. She placed a small Post-it invitation just above the latch. Although she heard footsteps in the loft, she intentionally avoided any conversation.
Wrapped in a thick wool cardigan and dress pants, Sylvia entered Syd’s place first, taking in the impressive loft but failing to comment. She looked irritated and inconvenienced.
“I assume you intended us to have coffee over here?” Her tone of voice said she was annoyed and intent on intimidating Syd.
“Well, there is fresh coffee here and I intended to direct you to the only place serving it in this building this morning.” Sydney Hyatt disliked being managed. In fact, she wouldn’t be.
“Of course.” She sat stiffly on a bar stool as she sipped and seemed to ponder her next statement. “What do you see in your future…relative to Parker?” Sylvia stared at Sydney.
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Sydney was being honest and longed for the strength to address her own mother so dispassionately.
Sylvia Duncan huffed at the request to clarify her question. “I mean, how long do you plan on carrying on like this? Parker is brilliant and talented. She deserves to have a family and be happy.”
Syd clenched and unclenched her jaw. She leaned across the island, unwilling to continue the charade. “Parker is brilliant and talented, yes. And she does deserve to be happy. Why are you so sure that it has to be your way and not hers?”
“I have nothing to do with it. I don’t tell her how to live her life, no one can. I just know she would be a great mother and a wife—but no one will ever know that if people think she is…unavailable.”
Wow, Sydney thought. Her own mother was blatantly hateful; however, Parker’s apparently intended on feigning ignorance indefinitely. Regardless, the outcome was the same.
“With all due respect, Mrs. Duncan, Parker is unavailable. And will be for a very long time if I have any say in the matter. It may not be what you imagined for her thirty-nine years ago, but it is reality. She can still be a wife and a mother if she chooses, but those thin
gs won’t define who she is or could be. Your denial of the facts of her life doesn’t change anything, it just makes her unhappy.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. She knows we love her. I just don’t understand some of her choices. I mean, I understand you want to act like a man, but that’s your choice. What I don’t understand is why she insists on being with someone like that when she could just as easily be dating a real one. No offense.”
Sydney chuckled and hung her head over her coffee mug. “If you meant no offense, you wouldn’t have said something even remotely like that. Lucky for me, you aren’t the first.” Syd filled her mug again and added cream. She briefly contemplated adding alcohol.
“Not that I’m sure you want to know or care, but I don’t and have never wanted to be a man or emulate one. Regardless, Parker doesn’t date men because she is a lesbian. Has always been, will always be.”
“I don’t need a lesson on my daughter. And I don’t appreciate you being so presumptuous.” She spoke quietly, formality wrapped in indignation.
“Then perhaps you already know that every time you invalidate her life and her relationships by offering her better alternatives, you push her farther away. Kids want their parents to love them and accept who they are regardless of who they’re with, not rank them by who they date and compare them to who would be better or more appropriate in someone else’s eyes.” She spoke from experience without comparing the two situations.
Sylvia Duncan set her mug on the granite. “You know nothing about our family,” she said more firmly but only slightly louder than before.
“I know it’s approximately half what it could be because Parker isn’t as involved. She doesn’t want to be judged based on your version of normal.” Syd briefly considered that she had crossed some invisible line and Parker might object. However, she couldn’t stop the words, now tinged with a tone of anger.
“You are very sure of yourself, Ms. Hyatt.”
“I am very sure I care deeply about your daughter and will spend every day I can proving it. Just imagine how happy she would be if both of us did that.”
“Morning.” Parker appeared from the hall and tucked against Sydney. “I hope you slept well, Mother.” Parker appeared oblivious to the temperature in the kitchen. Syd suspected she had overheard at least part of the conversation and was very definitely aware of the chill.
“Just fine, darling, but I must start to pack up. You know your father, the earlier we hit the road, the better.” She pushed her coffee mug to the center of the island and tucked her sweater more tightly around her. “Your father would love a chat before we get going. Perhaps you could spare a few moments alone with us.”
“Be right over, Mom.” Parker sounded weary and was silent until her mother left Sydney’s loft.
“Thank you.” Parker rolled to her toes and held a gentle kiss to Sydney’s lips.
“For what?” She wasn’t sure how much of the exchange she heard.
“You know, defending me or telling her off or both. I don’t know. I’m sure I missed a few things.” Parker smiled appreciatively.
“You may not be as grateful when you have to defend me. Suffice it to say Sylvia Duncan is not running my fan club.”
“You’ll need to fill me in later. And since I’m running your fan club, the position is absolutely not available.”
“Just know the only thing that’s important to me is that you are happy. I can’t stand by and watch her sell you off to the highest bidding straight guy. Besides, you’re mine.”
“Highest bidding? How much are we talking here?” Parker tucked her arms around Syd’s waist and grinned up at her.
“They would have to sacrifice a limb or two, believe me.” Syd’s warning voice was dangerous and intoxicating to Parker.
“Sounds risky.” Parker laid her cheek against Sydney’s chest, grateful for the strong and steady rhythm which she increasingly believed was meant only for her.
“You’ll never know, Duncan,” Syd whispered.
“I don’t want to, actually. I’m good right here.” Parker sighed and released Sydney’s waist. “I guess I need to go face the music. Come say good-bye to my dad in a few?”
“Why don’t you just stop by over here? I’ve probably done enough damage.” Parker just smiled and kissed her soundly as she slid into the hallway. Her door was still open and Parker could hear her parents speaking from the bedroom loft.
“It was just unnecessary, Patrick. I only said it because it was obvious. I don’t understand what Parker sees in her.”
“And you don’t have to. It’s absolutely Parker’s choice. Sydney is very nice and obviously cares for Parker. That’s all that matters to me.”
“That’s just fine. Right up until she’s too old to have a family and that woman has moved on to someone or something else. No matter how she tries, she’ll never be a man. Did you see what she wore to dinner? Men’s clothes. People were looking at us, Patrick. It was embarrassing. Who does she think she’s fooling? I just don’t know what’s gotten into our daughter.”
Parker briefly considered X-rated retorts but was too angry to be witty at the moment. “Good morning, Mother, Dad,” she called out.
Her mother looked shocked when she saw her standing below and realized that she had been overheard. She recovered quickly and met Parker at the bottom of the stairs.
“Your father will be down in a minute, dear.”
“It sounds like we need to talk first, Mother.” Parker was used to her mother being dismissive of her relationships but now she was being ignorant and hurtful to the woman she loved and Parker was livid. “What did you say to Syd, Mom?” Parker crossed her arms over her chest.
“Nothing, I just told her that I knew she wanted, you know, to be a man, but perhaps you could find a real man to make a family with.” It was apparent she was less comfortable with the words as they left her lips for a third time.
“You know, you have had the benefit of education, culture, and a pretty refined upbringing.” Parker thought about Pamela Hyatt and didn’t like to admit how similar they were in background and attitude. “You would think that you would act like you know a little about the world. Sydney doesn’t want to be a man, she is very much a woman. Talented and smart and the best thing that’s happened to me. I don’t want a real man, as you say, because I am a lesbian, for the hundredth time. Not being with a man is kind of the point.”
Her mother stood silently, looking stunned or offended—or both.
“Don’t embarrass me like that again,” Parker continued. “I hope Syd is in my life for a long time. And I sincerely hope you will be, too, but you need to get over this because otherwise there won’t be a next time.”
“Morning, Parker.” Patrick wrestled a suitcase down the stairs, effectively halting the conversation. Parker was sure he had heard but he would not engage unless he was put on the spot.
“Morning, Dad. Sleep okay?” Parker turned away from Sylvia.
“Perfect. Once we got down on that platform thing it was great. I was a little worried that I wouldn’t get back up, though.” Patrick Duncan laughed as he rested the suitcase on the living room floor.
“Whatever, Dad. You’re more in shape than most guys my age.” She walked to him and hugged him happily.
He returned the hug and whispered, “Sorry about Mom, kid.” Parker caught his eye and smiled before Sylvia could join the clinch.
“How about we go get you a cup of coffee and you can say good-bye to Syd?” Parker suggested, ignoring her mother who was likely more embarrassed than angry, but she didn’t care.
Syd was just drying the last coffee mug when the Duncan family returned.
“Still some coffee left, love?” Parker rounded the island and accepted Sydney’s arm around her shoulders.
“Made more of that Kona blend you like.” To the room at large she asked, “Can I make anyone breakfast?”
“No, just coffee. We should have already left,” Sylvia said abruptly, spurring
Patrick to squeeze her arm. “We appreciate the offer, though. It’s just a long drive.”
“We understand.” Syd understood too well. Patrick accepted a cup of coffee from Sydney and took a loud gulp, eying her and his daughter standing comfortably together.
“Sydney, I hope I can take you up on that test drive next time we’re here. Doesn’t look like there’ll be an opportunity this trip.” Parker wondered if he had agreed to their early departure for her benefit.
“Of course. Maybe we’ll drive up to New Hampshire and I’ll make sure we bring her right to you.”
“Fantastic idea. I won’t let you forget.”
“When do you think we’ll see you, Parker? Would you be able to get away for a weekend?” Sylvia looked directly at her daughter.
Syd squeezed Parker against her when she felt her tense at the clearly solo invitation.
“I’ll check our schedules. As you know, Sydney is the president of her own company so we have to plan carefully.”
Syd fought a laugh at the response that was calculated for Sylvia’s benefit.
“Of course. Done, Patrick?” Sylvia appraised the level of liquid remaining in his mug. The look on his face said the he clearly wasn’t.
“I have a travel mug that you are welcome to, Mr. Duncan.” Syd turned to open the cabinet above the microwave and pulled a Silver Lake Police Department mug from the shelf. The couple was halfway out the door by the time Sydney could hand over the drink.
“Safe trip, guys. See you soon.” Sydney waved and waited for Parker to issue quick farewell hugs.
After they were safely in the car and headed for the street, Parker grumbled, “The universe hates me. I wanted a happy, quiet, lust-filled weekend with you and we get this.”
“Well, I have two items of good news for you.” Sydney walked her back into the kitchen where she poured a new cup of coffee for Parker. “One is we have both gotten the inevitable parental encounters over with in record time.”
