by Weiss, Sonya
He squeezed her hand. “Did Mom pack any of her pickles?”
At the brush off, Josie let go of his hand and opened the lid on the basket. “Right here.” She passed them over and then gave him a soft smile. “You did say that if you ever made the mistake of getting married that I was your girl.”
Lincoln groaned. “That was definitely not my finest moment.”
Josie laughed despite the heaviness in her heart. Something was going on with Lincoln that she didn’t understand. Though she tried to get him to open up and explain why he was so concerned about failing her, he kept dodging the topic. Finally she gave up, and for the rest of the meal they talked about Casey’s upcoming wedding.
When they finished eating, Josie said, “You want to stargaze for old time’s sake?”
“Sure, but I’ll bet you still can’t name the constellations.”
“No, but I can so do something that you can’t,” she said smugly. “I can name the actors who played Mr. Darcy in every Pride and Prejudice movie ever made.”
“Can’t believe I missed learning that life-altering information. That’s important stuff.”
“If not the most important.” Josie handed him the picnic basket to put in the car and she carried the blanket out. She walked over to the fence and waited for him to catch up. When he did, she hefted herself up and over the fence, landing softly on the other side.
He did the same. “The ground’s a little rough. Need help?”
She put her hand in his and they started across the field. It took a lot longer to walk the distance than she remembered. Once they reached their spot near a towering oak tree, Josie spread out the blanket. She settled down on it and lay back, resting her hands behind her head so she could stare up at the clear night sky. “The memories are so vivid here.” She laughed. “I can still recall you sneaking onto the farm to pick apples for us when we were bike riding the summer before I left for college. I thought for sure that bull would get you.”
Lincoln stretched out beside her. “I never ran so fast in my life.”
“I still can’t believe you’d do something like that.”
“Do something for you? Of course I would.”
She couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Then why are you so reluctant to be with—”
He put a finger against her lips. “Because you’re my reckless point.”
“I don’t understand.”
He moved his finger. “A reckless point is a line that I won’t cross. Out of all the dangerous things I’ve ever done and will ever do, you are the biggest risk. One I can’t take because the consequences of failure are too great.”
…
Lincoln hoped she understood where he was coming from as he stared at her, watching the different emotions play across her face.
“There are no guarantees in a relationship, so you won’t take a chance.”
“That’s about it.”
“You do know how messed up that is, right?” She turned her head to look at him and he wished she wasn’t so beautiful. Wished she didn’t have those big blue eyes and that breakable heart. Though she looked troubled, she looked back at the sky. “Look how bright that star is.”
“It’s a plane.”
“Oh.” Her breath tickled his ear as she laughed. She reached for his hand and tangled her fingers with his.
He let her because he wanted to store up a little of what he knew he’d never have permanently. Lincoln couldn’t concentrate on the night sky. He was too aware of Josie. He drew in a ragged breath. The smartest thing he could do right now would be to take her home. The reckless point seemed closer than ever. He’d be careful, but he wanted a few more minutes.
She snuggled closer and put her head on his shoulder. A few more minutes weren’t all that he wanted. He raised his hand to brush back the hair curling around her face, but he lowered it before he did. If he touched her hair, then he’d touch her face. Then he’d hold her and kiss her and that would catapult him over the line. Not taking a chance was the hardest thing he’d ever done. But for both of their sakes, he’d keep his hands and his heart away from her.
“Beyond the reckless points, there can be a life that’s far more than anyone ever imagines,” her quiet voice dissipated his thoughts. Pressing a hand to the side of his face, she added, “Past that point, there could be an us.”
There was hope in her eyes and he felt like the world’s biggest jerk, but he kept silent. He knew what she didn’t. Caring for someone didn’t always mean there was a future there. Us was the easiest equation in the world to divide and equal one.
After a second of looking at him, Josie gave him a sad smile and put her head back down onto his shoulder. Feeling like he’d just saved her but robbed himself, he took a deep breath of the clear air and closed his eyes, intending to rest them for just a second.
Josie was kissing him. Her breath was hot on his face and her warm tongue touched his chin, rasped across his lips, and covered part of his face at the same time. What the hell? Lincoln sat up and was nose to nose with a gentle-eyed cow. He groaned and wiped his face with the bottom of his shirt. He was on a blanket in the middle of a field. Josie was asleep beside him, and it was morning.
He shook her shoulder. “Josie.” He jumped up, surprised that he’d slept so hard. Since Kent’s accident and Aiden’s death, he hadn’t slept as well as he once did.
She yawned and smiled, then jerked upright. “Oh my God, Lincoln. I was supposed to meet that client.” She patted the blanket around her. “Where’s my phone?”
Lincoln searched his pocket. “I don’t have mine, either. We must have left them in the car.” Once Josie stood, he rolled the blanket up.
Josie pushed her hair away from her eyes. “This is an awful start to the day. I can’t believe I screwed up a client meeting.”
“I got kissed by a cow.” He shuddered.
Josie looked at the animal standing nearby and grinned. “Okay, you win.”
Together they ran across the field and reached the fence. He helped her over, then followed and they ran to the car. Lincoln threw the blanket into the back seat and picked up his phone. “Five missed calls. I was supposed to go out to breakfast with the crew.”
Josie found hers. “Beat you. Seven missed calls.” She played her voicemail and cringed at the explosive message and the name calling left by the would-be client.
The tone and the words directed toward Josie made him want to reach through the phone and grab the other guy. “I recognize that nasal voice. Is that Arnie?”
Josie nodded and deleted the message.
“What a jerk. I’m going to introduce him to my cow.”
Josie laughed as he’d intended her to. He could see the worry on her face as he drove away from the farm. Arnie was the type of guy who gave himself a hell of a lot more importance than he warranted. “Don’t worry. You’ll find a client to replace him.”
Josie massaged the back of her neck and winced when Lincoln accidentally hit a bump in the road. She stared through the passenger window. “Sometimes I worry that I acted foolishly by giving up the counseling practice.”
“Were you happy?”
“I was miserable.”
“Then there’s your answer.” He pulled up in front of her house. “I hate to drop you off and run, but I have to take care of something before I head to the fire station.”
Josie waved her hand. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll see you when I see you.”
Lincoln drove straight to the diner where he knew Arnie ate breakfast every morning without fail. The guy had probably arranged the proposal at sunrise so it wouldn’t interfere with his schedule.
He parked and walked in, then spotted the other man at the counter loudly complaining to one of the waitresses about the portion size of his grits. Lincoln sat on the stool beside him and leaned close to Arnie. “Let’s take a walk outside.”
Arnie’s eyes widened, and he dropped his fork. “W-what’d I’d do to you?”
; “You don’t speak to any woman the way you did on that voicemail, but especially not to Josie.” Lincoln jerked his head toward the door. “Out back. Now.”
“Wait…wait…” Arnie swallowed and held up his hands. “I’ll never be rude to her again and I’ll apologize.”
Lincoln assessed the other man’s sincerity. “All right.” He rose. “If you don’t follow through, I’ll find you.”
Arnie nodded vigorously. “I understand.”
“I hope so.” Lincoln walked away and back out to the car. Once Casey gave the all clear, everyone would get together to decorate the barn in preparation for the big day. He couldn’t believe his sister and his best friend were getting married.
Despite wanting to be more than just friends with Josie, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d never be in the same position. He’d come to terms with his life and the fact that he needed to end up alone. He thought of Josie and their upcoming breakup as he drove off, wishing he could stop thinking of her at all. Every time he did, it only made his future seem dim and unappealing.
Chapter Sixteen
Three days later, a large group was scheduled to meet at the barn to set up the decorations for Casey’s wedding and Josie was running late. The neighbor’s cat had managed to wedge himself in between her hot water heater and the wall. She’d tried for half an hour to get him out, until finally she’d marched over to her neighbor’s house to get the woman to help. In the end, she’d had to make a hole in her drywall to give the cat room to squeeze out.
She’d driven halfway to the barn before she realized she’d forgotten her jacket and her contribution to the potluck dinner they were all sharing tonight. Lately, she’d had trouble keeping track of everything, but once Casey’s wedding was done, she was sure it would all calm back down. That was a bright spot.
The dark spot was that since their night under the stars, Lincoln had made himself pretty scarce. After thinking things through, she’d decided that she’d wait until after the wedding and after she and Lincoln “broke up” to tell him how she felt. That way, she wouldn’t end up with her stomach in knots during the ceremony and Lincoln wouldn’t feel bad about them breaking up because he wouldn’t know how she felt. Josie rubbed the side of her head, then turned the radio up and sang the rest of the trip to drown out her jumbled thoughts.
She parked beside the florist’s van and the wild minivan Harper drove. Jumping from the car, she rushed into the barn and was greeted by chaos. Dozens of children were running around draped in the Christmas lights while other kids were having mock battles with the twigs.
Jean came over to join her. “It’s like an elf convention in here.”
Josie put her fingers to her lips and let out a loud, shrill whistle to get everyone’s attention. When the children looked at her, she held a hand to her shoulders. “You must be this tall to touch the lights or the twigs.”
Grumbling, the kids relinquished their games. Josie gathered the twigs while Jean nagged Rafferty to pick up the lights. Josie went to the work table that was set up by the door to find the ties and began fastening the twigs in place. One bundle bowed at the top, nearly touching her head until Lincoln appeared and reached over her to hold it in place. He took the ties from her, twined them together, then stapled them in place.
“Sorry I was late,” she said.
“Not a big deal.”
Jean poked Lincoln in the side and handed him a bundle of lights. “Drape those.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Rafferty went to get a ladder and when he came back, he was shaking his head. “I swear I break out in hives every time I walk near where the minister is going to stand.”
Jean scoffed. “There’s nothing to fear about marriage—”
“Except marriage itself,” Rafferty said. He positioned the ladder then climbed up to give a hand.
A few minutes later, Grayson joined them.
“Seeking safety from the bachelorettes?” Josie teased.
Grayson looked over his shoulder. “Who knew Morganville had so many single women?”
“Rafferty,” everyone said in unison and Grayson laughed.
“Laugh if you want to, but you’ll never catch me surrendering my freedom.” Rafferty held onto the twigs while Lincoln positioned more lights.
“You were dating the Andersons’ daughter. What happened with her?” Jean asked.
“The three-date rule happened.”
Rafferty believed that as long as he didn’t date a woman beyond three dates he’d never have to worry about falling in love. Josie met Lincoln’s gaze and he held it for a long second before he finished with the last of the lights. He took his grandmother’s arm and steered her toward Josie. “We need to talk.”
“I have a—” Jean protested but Lincoln gave her a look.
The three of them retreated to a corner as far away from everyone else as they could. Lincoln crossed his arms. “I want to know why you’d do something so devious.”
“I do a lot of devious things. You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” Jean said.
Josie wasn’t sure what he was referring to, but she guessed it had something to do with matchmaking since he’d included her.
Lincoln let out a long breath. “The night of the hayride you paid the band’s lead singer a hundred dollars to haul Josie up onto the stage instead of the woman he was supposed to pull from the audience.”
Josie gasped. What?
“Did I?” Jean looked innocently confused.
“You can drop the act, Granny. I know you did.”
Jean glared at him. “What I did was grab the bull by the horns. All these years you two have tiptoed around each other. You needed a swift kick to put your brain back up where it’s supposed to be, but I went with the proposal idea instead. You’re welcome.”
“Oh, Jean,” Josie whispered. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“I know exactly what I’ve done and what I’m gonna do. I’m living my life with no holds barred. I might fall chasing the ice cream truck and throw a hip out. Or I might make everyone hurl when I go skinny dipping, but I refuse to be like the two of you.”
“What’s wrong with us?” Josie asked.
“You’re both oh-so-careful with your hearts.” Jean put her hands on her hips. “And you’re both lying to yourselves. I won’t live my life trying to make my brain believe a lie when my emotions tell me it’s the truth.”
“What emotions?” Lincoln wanted to know.
Jean smiled. “Ask Josie. Now I’m going over to the table to get something to drink.”
After Jean walked off in a huff, Lincoln moved closer to Josie. “What’s she talking about?”
She gave a strained laugh. “Who knows?” Better that she pretend she was clueless than tell Lincoln how right Jean was. Her heart pounded as he continued to stare at her. She could swear that need and hope mixed with uncertainty was in his eyes. If he was as unsure as she was, then she should tell him. She opened her mouth—
“Hey!” Grayson called as he approached and Lincoln glanced away.
She’d been on the verge of spilling her heart. Grayson’s intervention could have been a sign not to.
Grayson carried a hammer and a box of nails. “Some of the guys damaged one side of the stage setting it up. It needs to be nailed back in place.”
“I can do it,” Josie volunteered. Swinging a hammer and pounding nails would help to work out the stress.
“I’ll help, too,” Lincoln said.
“Only one person is needed on that.”
Josie quickly reached for the hammer and nails and hurried away. She wanted to put some space between them before she told Lincoln exactly what emotions his grandmother had referred to. Or to get some time to figure out why she wasn’t going to after all. She didn’t know how Jean had discovered how she felt about him, but then again, Jean was one of the smartest, craftiest women she knew.
Josie went to work straightening the side and ma
king sure the board was flush with the front. Holding it with one hand and nailing it in place took all her concentration and she didn’t realize that Casey was beside her until she was finished.
“I overheard Mom and Grandma talking at the food table and they were both peeking at you and Lincoln. What’d they do now?”
Josie explained the truth behind the proposal. “Jean takes matchmaking to a whole new level with that trick.”
Casey sat on the edge of the stage. “She means well.”
“I know she does. Everyone in your family does.” Josie sat beside her. “She tried to nudge me into telling Lincoln how I feel about him.” She wiped at a smudge on the knee of her jeans.
“But you’re struggling over saying anything because?”
“Because it won’t change the outcome. No matter what I tell your brother, the results will be the same. We won’t be together.”
“Hmm. Maybe.”
“And I thought if I did tell him and things turned awkward between us again, it might cast a pall over your wedding. I didn’t want to take that chance.”
Casey waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about any of that. I promise you that I won’t notice anything but Kent, so feel free to go for it.”
“I’m not sure.”
“You know that I love you, right?” Casey chewed on her lower lip.
Josie nodded. She and Casey had been as close as sisters were from the day they’d met.
“So in the spirit of that love, I’m going to say something that you need to hear. You are forever second-guessing yourself when it comes to my brother.”
Almost like a magnet pulled her attention to him, Josie looked at Lincoln. He’d taken off the jacket he’d worn. She drank in the muscled contours of his body as he worked. The hard chisel of his jawline and— “Sorry,” she said when Casey called her name.
