by Lexi Aurora
Chapter Fifteen
RILEY HAD DONE HER best over the phone with Harrison to act as natural and as excited as possible, but the notion of going to his place for dinner after what she’d just been through with Owen was less than ideal. This dinner, she decided, would be the perfect opportunity to tell Harrison about the pregnancy. She was still on the edge of whether or not she would tell him the baby belonged to him, but either way, she was going to tell him about the baby.
She told herself to relax as she stood outside his condominium and pressed the buzzer, along with his number. Not three seconds passed before his voice came through the intercom:
“Hello?”
“Hey... it’s Riley.”
“Come on up.”
The buzzer sounded, and she took a second breath as she opened the door. That walk to the elevator, and then the ride up, felt like a lifetime. By the time she made it to his door, she was struggling with what to say.
Just act natural, she thought. Be yourself. Pretend everything is normal, you can do this.
When the door opened, she smiled at him and stepped in to hug him. His arms closed around her in return, and as she rested her chin over the top of his shoulder, everything inside of her stopped; the space she was looking at was vastly different than she remembered. The lights were dim, and there were candles flickering everywhere. The table had been set up professionally, and she could smell seasoned chicken or turkey coming from the kitchen. Roses were laid across nearly every flat surface, and the entire set up was beautiful.
As gorgeous as it all was, though, it made her heart drop into her stomach, and she suddenly felt as though she couldn’t breathe. What the hell was this? What was he trying? He’d invited her over to dinner and that was it; why had he gone through so much effort to set all of this up?
Because he thinks this is all a game, she thought to herself in a near panic. He’s just trying to win me over so that he can get me into bed anytime that he wants.
For Riley, the sight of all of this effort struck her as out of character for Harrison, and she just knew that he was up to something. She also knew that she didn’t want to involve her child with someone who couldn’t take the important things seriously, and the impact of learning what Harrison’s reputation was like weighed more heavily upon her than she realized.
“Harrison... what is all of this?” She pulled away from him, her stomach churning; she couldn’t tell whether it was the nerves or the hormones making her feel like hell – probably both.
Even before he could answer, Riley turned around and rushed down the hallway. Instead of using the elevator, she took the stairs all the way down to the main level. She listened as she half walked, half ran, but couldn’t hear him behind her; thank the lord. Her entire being was in tatters, and she fought against the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.
As soon as she was out the door, she heard Harrison behind her, calling her name. “Riley! Riley, come back. Riley!”
Shit, shit! She didn’t look back as she waved for a cab and hurried down the street. The sound of the door opening as he came through made her heart jump, and she glanced back just in time to see him running onto the sidewalk after her. He looked frustrated, confused, and hurt, and even though that expression sent a pang of guilt through her, she knew that she couldn’t stay. Wanting to tell him about the baby was a mistake that she wasn’t going to make.
“Harrison, don’t you dare follow me. I have to go!”
She turned away from him as a cab stopped at the curb. The sensation of warm, wet tears rolled down her face, and she quickly wiped at them when she slid into the car and slammed the door. “Just drive, please.” She spoke as calmly as she could, unable to look back toward Harrison; she imagined him running after the cab, and she couldn’t get the look on his face out of her mind; she’d never seen him so unbelievably hurt. That she had caused that in him made her want to cry even more, but she wiped at her cheeks and her eyes, and held the emotions at bay. This was better for everyone; it had to be.
“RILEY? WHAT THE HELL happened? You look awful!”
Jessica stood on her doorstep in shock. Riley had just shown up, and as soon as Jessica’s face had come into view, Riley hadn’t been able to hold the tears back any longer. She pressed her hands over her face and cried, even as Jessica gently gripped her by the arm, pulled her inside, and closed the door.
“Hey, come on.... talk to me.”
“It’s...” She swallowed thickly and shook her head; her eyes had never felt so painful and puffy in her entire life. “It’s Harrison...”
“Oh my god, what the hell did he do to you? I swear to you, I will kick his sorry ass, just tell me where he is. For real, I’m gonna grab my keys and go right now!”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that.” Riley tried and failed to smile, sinking down into a chair in the living room. After a little while, she was able to gather herself enough to at least talk: “Harrison invited me over for dinner tonight... but Jess... when I got there, it was all full of candles, roses, and the lights were dim. He was cooking. He never cooks, we always just go out. I feel like he was just trying to play more games with me, like he wanted to seduce me. This baby deserves a lot better than a man who is only interested in sex...you know?”
Jessica sat down next to Riley and took one of her hands. “I do know, but it sounds like he really does like you. Look at all the effort he’s put into keeping you interested. Taking you out on dates, inviting you to dinner. And hey, bonus? He’s not an asshole.”
“That’s the thing... I don’t really know him at all...”
“Well, I doubt he really knows you, either. Knowing you... Riley, I know opening up to people is tough, but you have to. It’s what life is all about, don’t you think? Life is about...taking those chances you’ve never wanted to take and just living. Do you want to be eighty years old and regret not making the choices you wanted to?”
“No, but–”
“There aren’t any ‘buts,’ hon... none whatsoever. Just...” She sighed and held Riley’s shoulders. “Just take the chance. I know you want to or you wouldn’t be crying right now. You wouldn’t be agonizing over what you’re going to say to him. But my advice to you is to not torture yourself. Just tell him and get it over with. You’ll feel so much better.”
“Jess... I don’t know...”
“Hey... think of it this way: what if telling Harrison about the baby will solidify things between you two? Maybe if he knew that he was going to be a father, he’d open up more... want a real relationship. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes...” Riley swallowed and wiped the last of her tears away. “More than anything, I want this baby to have a family. But Harrison isn’t father material. He likes nights out at the club and he likes taking women home. He likes sex, Jess. That’s all he wants.”
“Are you just saying those things to protect yourself or do you actually believe them?”
She groaned in frustration and pushed fingers back through her hair. “God, I don’t know... this is so stupid, I should be able to make a simple decision like this.”
“It’s a lot easier than you think: tell him. Boom, done. Finito!”
“No, it’s not... I don’t want to take the chance... as much as I want to trust him, after seeing all of that tonight, I just can’t. I’ll tell him something eventually, but he can’t know the baby is his; I don’t want him involved.”
Jessica pressed her lips together, but nodded and touched Riley’s arm. “It’s your choice. I don’t think it’s the right one, but I can’t decide that for you... and you know I’m always with you 100% of the way.”
“I know.” She sighed and fell back against the couch. “Can I stay here tonight? Maybe a few nights? If Harrison comes looking for me, I really don’t want to see him. Not right now. There’s way too much on my mind, and I don’t think he’d understand; he doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer very well.”
“Of course. Sit tight and
I’ll go get the guest room ready.” She gave Riley a protective squeeze, then left for the guest room. As soon as Riley was alone, she curled her legs underneath her and wrapped her arms around the closest pillow. She squeezed it tight and rested her cheek against its plush surface, the tears of confusion and fear still stinging the corners of her eyes.
Chapter Sixteen
HARRISON COULDN’T BELIEVE what had just happened. He’d painstakingly prepared every inch of his home in the hopes that Riley would be impressed and want to open up to him; instead, she’d run. In all honesty, he should have seen it coming; this was why he didn’t trust anyone, ever. This was why he didn’t make himself vulnerable to relationships. In the end, he was all that he had, just as it had been back when he was a child.
Despite his frustration and anger, Harrison drove to Riley’s place, intending to give her a piece of his mind. It was over, he was done chasing her; she’d made herself crystal clear, and he just didn’t have the fortitude to put himself through this anymore.
When he arrived at Riley’s place, he tried the buzzer multiple times. When there was no answer, he called her cell phone – still nothing. He tried the buzzer once more, and when there was only the buzzing to answer him, he gently pressed a fist against the intercom. “Damnit, Riley... damnit...”
Teeth grinding to the point of pain, he got back into his car and drove to the closest bar; it was seriously time to knock back some drinks and make himself numb to all of this turmoil. Hell, if he was lucky maybe he’d meet someone there who would appreciate all his hard work. He reflected on the number of chances he’d given Riley, and as he pulled into the parking lot, he wondered why he’d even bothered to try.
He locked up his car before heading into the bar. Without pause, he went straight to the bartender at the back and sat heavily while holding up two fingers. “Give me two whatevers; surprise me.”
“Rough day?” The bartender offered him a sympathetic smile as she poured two shots and slid them across to him.
“You could say that.” With a look of disdain, he took one shot and then two, dropping them back as though they were water. Flashes of his past flooded his thoughts, all a swirling mass of rejection and abandonment and coldness. And now here he was, sitting alone at a bar he’d never heard of before, drinking whatever it was that the bartender was giving him.
“Wanna tell me about it?”
“Maybe once I’m drunk enough.” He gestured for two more shots and gave her an unfriendly half smile.
“Let me guess...” She re-filled his glasses. “You got dumped.”
He shrugged. “Let’s just say that someone made me realize that relationships aren’t worth it. They never have been and they never will be.”
“Well, that’s depressing.” She leaned against the edge of the bar. “Why do you figure that?”
“It’s just the way it is.” He leaned forward and let his elbows rest against the bartop, his gaze resting on the woman’s face. “What do you think about coming over to my place once you get off shift? I have it all set up and ready to go. Candles, roses, you name it. Her loss can be your gain.”
As she wiped the top of the counter, she smiled at him and gave him a wink. “You’re on, honey. Whatever troubles you’re having, I’ll be sure to bang ‘em outta you. I’m off work in ten.”
He smirked and held up the glass that was still full. “See you in ten then.”
“Harrison?”
Harrison started at the sound of Owen’s voice, and he half turned in his stool to look at him. Then he gave him a big grin and patted the bar top. “Hey, look who it is. Come on over and have a drink with me; it’ll be fun. At least there will be someone here who appreciates me.”
“Buddy... what are you talking about?” He frowned and moved closer, eventually sitting down next to him. “Why are you here alone drinking...?” He paused and eyed the drinks. “You don’t even like tequila.”
“Well, my friend, tonight I do.” He tilted back his head and took down the third shot and then a fourth. A nice, steady buzz was starting to kick in, which was exactly what Harrison wanted; he didn’t want to feel, not tonight.
“No...you don’t. Listen, if this is about Riley, there’s something you really need to know.”
“What? That she’s on this earth to up and reject me the first chance she gets, just like everyone else?”
“What? No... she’s pregnant.”
Harrison’s expression went immediately from disdain to shock. He stared at Owen without speaking until he finally managed to ask, “What did you just say?”
“Riley’s pregnant. I ran into her in–”
Harrison didn’t give Owen a chance to finish as he slammed down enough money to pay for his drinks and rushed out of the bar. His entire chest burned, and he suddenly understood why Riley had been acting so unbelievably strange over the last several weeks. She must have been so damn scared, and he hadn’t exactly been forthcoming and open; what an idiot he’d been!
Breaths broken, a lump in his throat, he suddenly realized that he had no idea where Riley was. Out of breath just from the shock, he ran back into the bar and stood in the doorway. “Owen... where is she, do you know?”
Owen jumped in surprise and turned to look at Harrison, shrugging. “If she’s not home and not with you, she could be at either her parents’ or Jessica’s. Don’t do anything stupid, I’m telling you right now; you’ll probably only get one chance.”
He gave the door a pat and nodded, that nearly unknown sensation of panic welling in his chest. Long legs took him straight to his car, and he headed straight for Jeff’s place; if anyone knew where Riley’s best friend lived, it would be her parents.
Chapter Seventeen
RILEY’S DREAMS WERE quiet, peaceful; they were nothing like the stress and the torture and the raw anxiety of life. Harrison wasn’t in them, either, and neither was anyone else. She was alone in her own world of words and lettings that shone and shimmered across a brilliant pastel sky. She could stay here forever, she thought, and never be unhappy.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
She woke up with a gasp and shot straight out of bed. When she glanced at the clock, it read 2am. Who the hell wanted Jessica’s attention at two in the damn morning?
“Jess?”
There was no answer.
The sound of banging came again, and then she heard his voice: “Riley! Are you in there?”
“Shit,” she whispered.
She tugged an overcoat over her thin PJs and tied it around her waist with a soft velvet belt; Jessica had always had a fantastic fashion sense. Cautiously, she moved to the door and pressed a hand over the knob. “What do you want?”
“Let me in... please?”
Riley had never heard such a desperate tone in Harrison’s voice before, and before she could even think about it, she opened the door. She stepped back as soon as she did, and she folded her arms across her body in a protective gesture. “What do you want?” She said it more softly this time.
“I know everything.” He took in some deep breaths; he looked exhausted, like he had run here from across town. “Owen told me about the pregnancy. I was just at your parents’ place, I told Jeff everything. About the pregnancy, about what we might have. My feelings for you. All of it.”
Oh god... I’m so dead, Riley thought. I’m so dead. “Why would you–”
“Let me finish.”
“No! No, you can’t just–”
Harrison grabbed her by the face and kissed her. Hard. He held onto her as tightly as he could without hurting her and cupped her face in his hands. His breathing was still unsteady as he drew back and locked eyes with her, his Adam’s apple shifting with a hard swallow. “Riley... please. I know this must be a shock to you, but you have to know how much I care about you. I didn’t come here because I’m angry with you, I came here because I love you.”
Riley was absolutely speechless as she stared at him, and her jaw went slack; she had no idea what to say.
“I understand...why you did what you did. But will you let me take you home so I can make things right?”
“If you don’t go with him, I swear to god, I will.” Jessica stood in the hallway with her arms crossed, a big grin on her face.
Riley put her hands over her mouth and laughed despite herself. Tears shimmered in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall as she took one of Harrison’s hands. She was uncertain and afraid, but he seemed so sincere and so concerned; how could she not give him a chance? Jessica’s words from earlier rang in her mind, and she nodded slowly. “Okay... I’ll come with you... only if you mean every word you just said.”
“I mean every word...and there’s a lot more I want to tell you, Riley. A lot more.”
“YOUR PARENTS JUST...abandoned you?” Riley couldn’t believe what Harrison was telling her as they sat in his living room and sipped French wine. He’d just told her about his childhood and his drug-addicted parents, and her heart was in tatters for him. “Did you ever have a stable home? Ever?”
“No.” He shook his head, one arm draped over Riley’s shoulders. “I hopped from one foster home to another; I think the longest I stayed in one place was two years.”
“That’s awful... ”
He nodded. “Yeah... ” He pulled her closer so that he could kiss her between the eyes. “I have something to show you, though. I think you’ll love it.”
Fingers entwining with Harrison’s, she followed him slowly, going past the kitchen and past his bedroom. He took her into a room she’d never seen before, one that was virtually empty aside from a few odds and ends. She turned in a slow circle, then gave him a questioning glance.
“This is going to be the baby’s room...if you decide to move in with me.”
Her jaw dropped for the second time that night, and she stared at him as though he’d just lost his mind. “What?”
“You heard me. I want you to move in with me...and I want this to be the baby’s room. This...” He moved closer to her and took her shoulders. “This is important to me. More important to me than my work. There is a living child inside of you, and whether it’s mine or not, I–”
