by Ellie Danes
By the end of my speech, I was breathing hard. I felt her hand cover mine and looked down at it. I wanted to look her in the eye, but I was afraid of what I might see there. I was afraid that I was moving too fast and being too impulsive. Maybe I was putting everything I had worked so hard for on the line over a two-day Vegas fling.
“Can you at least look at me?” she asked as she scooted her chair next to mine.
I tilted my gaze to meet hers, and found sadness in her green eyes. I looked away, certain she was about to try to let me down again, but felt her hand on my chin pulling my face back toward hers.
“Ryder, I am not denying that what we had was special, but how can you be so sure that we can make it work? Granted, you did come all the way here to tell me this, and we haven't even talked since Vegas.” Her lips curved upward.
I looked over her face. The pull to lean in and press my lips against hers was all I could feel. Her soft smile was everything I needed.
I cleared my throat. “I don't know how to further explain myself other than to say, I want you.”
“It isn't enough, Ryder. I wish it were, but it isn't. I can't throw away my own dreams to follow you around the country, watching you fight.”
I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow, confused. “I have no idea why you think that's what I want from you. I never said anything like that. I want you in my life, yes. But I would never ask you to give up on your dreams.”
“I'm confused,” she said as she studied my face.
“Confused about what?” I asked.
“This. You.”
“I don't know what there is to be confused about. I just need to have access to you. I need to hear your voice when we’re apart, and I need to know you’re in my corner, the same way I’ll be in yours. Will it be hard? Probably, but I have this feeling that in the end it will be worth it.”
I watched her expression as it softened and she leaned toward me.
“I can't make promises,” she whispered into my neck as she leaned against my shoulder.
“Holy shit! Ryder?” Annette squawked as she moved toward the table. She stood over us. “What are you doing here?”
“I came here to talk to my girl,” I responded.
“Your girl?” She smiled.
“Maybe. If she'll have me.”
“Oh, she'll have you,” Annette announced. “She’s been talking about you for weeks, and I am done hearing about it.”
“Really, Annette? I cannot believe you just said that,” Zoey said, her voice high-pitched.
“Well, it's the truth.” Annette put her hands on her hips. “You should be glad that a man would take the time to find you. How did you know we would be here today?” Annette asked as she pulled a chair from another table and sat down.
“Your Facebook,” I replied and looked over at Zoey.
“You stalked my Facebook page?” Annette smiled, then starting laughing.
“I've told you a hundred times to make it private.” Zoey pouted as she looked over at her.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Annette grinned. “If I listened to you, which I don't, he would not be sitting here.”
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” I asked Zoey.
“I don't think—” Zoey started to reply, but she was interrupted.
“Yes, she will go and talk to you.” Annette pushed her from her chair and in my direction. I grabbed her before she face-planted into my lap. When Zoey cut her eyes in Annette’s direction, I knew that I would get a little time.
I pulled her up and started to walk away, tightening my hold on her hand.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“I don't know? It's your city, where can we talk?”
“Follow me.” She turned around and headed back toward the restaurant we’d just left. When we reached it, she kept walking and then turned the corner. I followed her as she walked another block and then turned, taking a few steps down to a door. She punched in a code, and the door opened.
“Come on,” she said.
I’d follow this woman anywhere.
Chapter Fourteen
Zoey
“This is where I live.” I waved around the room. “Welcome to my humble abode.”
I kept sneaking peeks at him while he looked around the room. I couldn't believe that he was here. He eyed some of the artwork Annette had framed to decorate our walls—fifties horror movie posters. I was glad she’d made Rick clean up his dirty laundry this morning.
Ryder moved over to the row of stools that sat against the bar in my small kitchen. He pulled one out and settled on it. His long legs folded up onto the bottom rung.
“Come here,” he said as I walked around the bar. When I got within reach, he pulled me against him. I felt his breath warm against my neck.
“I've missed you,” he said softly.
“I don't know what to say, Ryder. This is all so unexpected.”
“I couldn’t stay away anymore,” he said as he looked into my eyes. The pull was there and if I said it wasn't I would be lying. Everything in my body told me that I should accept this and make the best of it, but I was scared of giving up a dream that I had worked so hard for.
I had pushed away from him in Vegas because I didn't want to be that girl who gives up everything for a guy. But here he was, basically telling me I was what he wanted but at the same time, that he didn't want me to give up my life for him.
I wasn't sure how that would work. How could it? His career path would eat mine alive and I knew that. I wasn't sure how to prevent it, but it was why I had pushed him away the first time.
“It isn't that easy. I can't say that what you said back there wasn't everything I wanted to hear. I want someone who values what I want, and you are the first guy to make me feel like you mean it.”
“It's because I do. I haven't always been that guy, I’ll be honest. But you make me want to be better. Maybe that's why I didn't fight to change your mind in Vegas. These feelings are foreign to me, and I didn't want to feel them…but I do.” He reached his hand out and ran it over my cheek.
I leaned into his touch and felt my body betraying me. I wanted to feel his touch, feel him cover my body with his—but at the same time, I wanted my dreams.
“We had a great time in Vegas and I wrote it off as just that, a good time,” I said. “It isn't who I am, but for whatever reason it happened. Maybe it was Vegas pulling at me to be a sinner, maybe it was you giving me the attention I wasn't accustomed to. I don't know, but what I do know is that I have watched more than one of my friends get so entangled in a relationship that they lost themselves, I'm not gonna be that girl.”
With great effort, I stepped away from him. I needed a little distance from the way his touch made me feel.
He stood and crowded me. “You can give me every excuse you can come up with, but I’m not gonna give up on you. Maybe you're right. Maybe it was Vegas. But this isn’t Vegas. I left Vegas on the west coast, but I brought everything about us with me. I can't forget the way it felt when you were against me and I don't want to. I don't see what trying this on for size will do to either of us. If it works then we are both better for it, and if it doesn’t, then we both move on. I don't want to regret it a few years from now when life is even crazier and I’m still thinking about you.”
He pulled me to him and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. Every time he touched me, my body ignited and I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in him. He was saying all the right things, and I didn't want to believe them like some stupid attention seeking woman, but what if he meant it? What if he really was trying to make this work?
When I looked up at him, he leaned down and covered my lips with his. He moved against me and for the second time in my life, I couldn't think of anything but how to get him inside of me.
“I'll never stop wanting you,” he said.
“Wanting you isn't the problem.” I shivered as his hands found my hips and he pulled me closer.
/> “Why fight something that is so obvious?” he said and then kissed me again.
I was already his and I knew it. As his hands moved over me, he knew he had won. A breathtaking smile spread over his face like he knew something I didn’t.
“As much as I want you,” he said, “I'm not going to take this any further. You are more to me than just sex and I want to make that clear.”
He kissed me softly on the lips, then moved away. My body was on high alert as he moved around my apartment. He ran his hand through his hair and looked over at me.
“So, can we walk?” he asked. With a smirk, he added, “Preferably somewhere that doesn’t have comfortable furniture?”
“Yes.” I moved toward the door, grabbed my purse, and led him out onto the sidewalk. We walked through the city, and I loved watching him as he absorbed everything. When we made it to Times Square, he made a beeline for the Hershey store.
“I'm not sure this is what you should be eating,” I teased.
“Chocolate is the one drug I allow myself.” He smiled as he picked up the largest bar of Hershey's chocolate I had ever seen.
Laughing, I said, “I’d say I think maybe the smaller one will do, but I’ve seen what you eat for lunch.”
He smirked, tucked the bar under his arm, and moved toward the register. I followed him, giggling.
After he paid and was handed the bag containing his large candy bar, we walked back out into the street. For the next few hours, we strolled the streets of New York. He listened and took in the city I had grown to love. A few people even recognized him, and he was generous with his time. Others stared like they felt they should know him, but his attention never wavered from me.
I took him through Central Park, and we found the Alice in Wonderland statue and watched the kids play for a minute before I led him to the tunnel that had been used in many a horror film. He kissed me in the darkness and laughed about it being the worst and creepiest place to share something so personal.
In another neighborhood, we found a cupcake ATM. He was fascinated that you could put your debit card in and you would get a cupcake in return.
“This may be the best thing ever invented,” he said as he pulled the two boxes from the atm.
“I may have to keep you out of this city. Your trainers aren't going to be happy when you get pudgy.”
“I seriously doubt these few calories will make a difference.” With a smile, he lifted a salted caramel cupcake to his lips. He groaned as he took a bite and then pushed it toward me. I took a small bite and closed my eyes as I tasted the salty sweetness.
“That's amazing.”
Before I could pull back, he licked the frosting from my lips and caused another groan to escape my throat.
“It is even more amazing coming from your mouth.” His pupils dilated and my body clenched. The sexual tension had been buzzing in the air all afternoon, but we had done a good job of keeping it at bay. Now, it rippled between us. Ryder reached his hand out, hailing a cab.
“Come on.” He pulled me into the cab and waited until I gave the driver my address.
The ride was anything but smooth. We jerked back and forth as the driver moved through traffic. I wanted nothing more than to use the movements to my advantage, trying to get some relief to the burning between my legs. He watched me squirm and reached for my thigh.
“I’ve got you,” he said, a faint smile on his lips.
There wasn't a moment in my life that I wanted more than this one. Everything in Vegas had been a once in a lifetime thing, but here he was, and I wanted to take advantage of what I felt and what he had made me believe we could be together.
“That's what scares me.” I leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. We stared into each other's eyes, reading what we both wanted to say but weren’t exactly sure how to say it.
“Twenty-four fifty,” the driver said.
I hadn’t realized the cab had stopped. Ryder shoved two twenties over the back seat and pulled me from the cab. He didn’t even wait for change.
Once we were in my apartment, I reached for him.
“I can't do this if it isn't going to be more,” he whispered as he stroked my face. “We have something that I never thought I would find and I don’t want this to only be physical.”
“Yes.” It was all I could say. The newness of us and what we could become scared the shit out of me, but I wanted to try.
His mouth covered mine and I pushed back with my tongue, trying to take control of the situation. I wanted him to make me feel like he had in Vegas.
He lifted me up and squeezed my ass against him.
“You feel so good against me,” I mumbled and rolled my hips, looking for a release in the mounting pressure. My body was on fire, and only he could put it out.
I ripped his shirt over his head and ran my hands down his chest. I reached for his pants and undid them, licking my lips as he traced his tongue over the outline of my nipple through my dress. I reached inside and pulled his dick out, pushing my hand down over the length of it. The wetness at the tip made my hand slide quicker.
The growl that erupted from his throat made me squeeze my legs together a little harder.
I was ready to push him toward my opening and force him to fill me, but he grabbed my hands and shook his head.
“Slow down,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere, and I want to do this right.”
“Oh, I don’t think we can do this a wrong way,” I said, trying to reach for his manhood again.
He just smiled at me. “How about you show me where the bathroom is, and I’ll meet you in the bedroom?”
I sighed heavily. Did this man not understand how badly I wanted him? I showed him the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom, and then I proceeded to freshen up a bit myself.
When he stepped into my bedroom, I was already stripped down and waiting. The smile on his face told me he approved. He quickly removed his pants and joined me in bed. He kissed me sweetly at first, but when his lips found mine, the passion erupted and suddenly the heat we’d shared in Vegas felt like a Spring day.
He took his time, but not because I wasn’t trying to get him to do otherwise. I shoved my hips toward him, pressing his shaft against my clit, trying my best to get some relief. I moved and tried to get him inside of me. When his flesh finally touched mine, I tilted my hips to welcome his cock.
“Fuck!” he roared and pushed the rest of the way in.
I felt my body coming apart. The feeling of him stretching me pushed me over the edge in a matter of seconds. My screams echoed in my small apartment.
He pulled out of me as I panted, trying to catch my breath, and then pushed back in. I knew by the feeling that he had put a condom on. My body was languid as he moved over me. Kissing and licking my skin, he slowly brought my body back to life.
I flipped over. He didn’t have to ask why, he knew what I wanted. He grabbed my hair and pushed inside of me, once more bringing me to the edge. He leaned over and bit gently into my shoulder, pushing me over and causing me to tighten around him. He came with a shout along with me and then fell over my body.
“Damn, will it always feel that good?” he breathed. It sounded like he was asking a question, but he was asking himself.
After we laid there for a few minutes, he lifted his body off of mine and stood, going to my small bathroom. I watched him as he walked back into the room. I’d never get tired of this view—Ryder, naked. In my bedroom.
He reached for me as he climbed back into the bed and wrapped me in his arms, placing a kiss on the top of my head.
“That's what I needed,” he said, then closed his eyes. When his breathing evened out, I tried to move out of his grip. The more I squirmed, the tighter he held me. I giggled, and he opened one eye.
“Why are you trying to leave me already?”
“I'm just going ten feet to the bathroom.” I smiled and kissed his nose as I pulled out of his grip. As I was washing my hands, I looked in the mirr
or and laughed.
Just so you know, I'm falling for you.
It was written in my red lipstick, and it gave me all the warm fuzzies — even if he had used my favorite shade.
Chapter Fifteen
Ryder
I waited for a few minutes, listening for her to return. I wondered if what I had written had freaked her out. I sensed her presence as she walked back into the room and waited for her to speak, holding my breath.
She climbed over me and pushed me over onto my back. Her smile was all that I needed to put my mind at ease. She laid herself across my chest, and I wrapped my arms around her. We both drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
I opened my eyes what felt like a few minutes later, but the darkness of night had settled over the city. I squeezed her and turned over onto my side. She moved but didn't wake. Everything primal in me stirred and wanted nothing more than to have a round two with her but at the same time, I wanted it to be so much more than a quick screw. It's what we had based us on, a quickie. I wanted more than that. I wanted to worship her body.
“I can feel you staring at me,” she mumbled, the sleep in her voice evident.
