“Leave a trail of bread crumbs so I can find you.” Mom giggled.
“Funny, Mom.”
“Cole is very helpful. Your father never would have been able to get all of that stuffed moved.”
“I’m glad he could help.” I considered adding something, but I didn’t want to push him on them. They had accepted him years ago as Ryan’s best friend. It was going to take small steps to accept him as my boyfriend, fiancée, and husband. Father of my child was going to be a stretch.
“I’m glad he decided to fly up. It’s nice having him here. And having Grayson here is going to make Christmas feel like it used to.” She added another shake of salt to the pot.
“What do you mean?”
She sighed. “I love our Christmases with you and Ryan. I do. But there’s something about children at Christmas that changes everything. One day, we’ll be grandparents.” She stopped stirring. “Not anytime soon, but one day. And those are going to be even more special Christmases.”
“Right, of course.” I took a heavy breath. My scarf hung long over my belly. I wanted to tell her. The guilt was crawling through me. How had I kept this secret so long? How had I denied telling her she was going to be a grandmother?
But we had a plan. We wanted everyone together at once. And for that to happen, Ryan had to be home. We still had two more days until his leave started.
“Mom, I’m going to call Mary Ellen and find out what her plans are this week. I’ll be right back if Cole asks.”
“All right, honey.”
I walked out of the kitchen, and left her crumbling bacon into the soup. Lunch was going to be delicious.
I pulled up Mary Ellen’s number on my phone.
“Hey, mama. Merry Christmas.”
I blushed. She was one of the few people who knew my secret. “Merry Christmas. How’s it going at your dad’s house?” Mary Ellen was with her dad for a few days then switching over to her mom’s house for the second half of the holidays.
“Fine. My stepmother has made me watch every Lifetime Christmas movie ever made, but other than that everyone’s getting along.”
“What about Aiden?”
“He’s going to be at my mom’s on Thursday. I can’t wait to see him.”
“Cole and Grayson made it in last night before the snow hit.”
“Oh good. And Grayson is feeling better?”
I laughed. “No more fever, but he saw the snow and I think it cured him completely.”
“That’s too cute. So what are y’all doing the rest of the week?”
“We’re getting ready to go out for a walk and tonight is the pageant at church. We’re waiting for Ryan to fly in so we can tell everyone the news at the same time.”
“It’s going to be ok, Kaitlyn. They’re going to be happy. Your parents might need time to adjust to the news, but look how far they’ve come since you and Cole moved in together.”
“Right. And it’s Christmas.”
“Do you still want to get together?” she asked. Normally, we planned a girls’ day during the holidays, but nothing was the same this year.
“I think we should do something. Cole and Aiden see each other regularly now and no one has been punched. I think we’re ok over the holidays. Should we plan dinner?”
“Oh what about that farm with all of the Christmas lights and the hayrides?” she suggested.
“Wonderland Lights?” It was run by a local farmer who turned his working farm into a side business at the holidays.
“Yes. And I heard this year they have bands playing.”
“That sounds like fun. We can always grab dinner after if we want,” I added.
“I’ll tell Aiden, and I’ll text you later about the time.”
“Bye, girl. Tell your dad I said Merry Christmas.”
“You too.”
I tucked the phone in my pocket. I didn’t know what Cole would think about the double date with Mary Ellen and Aiden. But we needed a night out.
I turned the corner for the kitchen, to see Cole standing on a stepstool to reach something for my mom in the cabinets over the refrigerator. I didn’t know why those cabinets even existed; they were impossible to access.
“Be careful up there,” I teased.
Cole laughed. “Are you more worried about me or these china bowls?” He showed me a handful of red and green soup bowls. I couldn’t remember ever seeing them before.
“The bowls of course.” I leaned against the counter, watching my mom take the bowls and then direct him to grab something else.
“Cole, thank you so much. Frank would get them, but you’re so tall.” She beamed at him.
He folded up the stepladder and returned it to the laundry room. “Ready for our walk, darlin’?” He kissed the top of my head.
“Yes, I’ve got all our snow gear ready to go.” I led him to the back door. I handed him a pair of gloves and one of my dad’s wool scarves. “I promise not to let you freeze out there, island boy.”
“Oh, you don’t think I can handle it?” he taunted.
“We’ll see.” I winked. I knelt to help Grayson pull on his boots. My mom had borrowed snow gear from the neighbors for him to wear.
He looked like a tiny adorable stuffed animal.
“Ready to play in the snow?” I asked.
Cole tried to drag me into a kiss but I darted ahead of him, ducking under his arm and out the door.
9
Cole
The woods were quiet as if the snowy blanket had hushed all the usual sounds. Kaitlyn and I walked side by side along the trail. I held the leash for the sled and pulled Grayson behind me. He was content to ride through the path.
“So this is where you used to play as a kid?” I asked.
“Yes, the other neighborhood kids and I would take the trail to the park. Our parents weren’t worried because we didn’t have to be on any major roads. It was like we had our own secret path.”
“It’s completely different here than the island.” I looked up at the trees towering overhead. Snow drifted from the limbs as a squirrel scampered up the side.
“Yeah, it is. I miss the trees at the beach. Real trees.”
“I hadn’t really thought about it before.” I was quiet. I wondered what other things she missed about North Carolina.
She reached for my hand through our padded gloves. “I love Texas. You know that, right? And sometimes I’m going to miss being here, but that doesn’t mean I have any regrets. Being with you is where I want to be.”
I stopped in the middle of the trail. Grayson grabbed a handful of snow and started to pile it into the sled.
“Sometimes I worry that you’ll want to come back here. That Texas isn’t enough.” My eyes narrowed.
She shook her head. “I don’t want you to ever think that. I can’t believe you would worry. We have everything ahead of us, Cole.”
“But things are different. You’re pregnant. Your parents are great. You have all these memories here. Friends. Neighbors. Your whole life is here.”
She pulled the glove from her hand and traced the side of my face. Her hand was warm against my cheek.
“Cole, I have all of that with you in Padre. Our baby is going to have all of this, just in a different place. What brought this on? Why are you saying this?”
I heard a branch crack in the distance. It was a sharp splintering sound in the quiet woods.
I didn’t have the fucking guts to tell her. I’d never been a coward, but right now I was. Nothing meant more to me than her and my children. Maybe North Carolina was where she needed to be. I could guarantee she’d never be alone. She’d always have support.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I just know you love being home with your family. Now that Aiden has bought out my half of the Dunes, we have options. I have millions, Kaitlyn. You aren’t stuck in Padre.”
“I’ve never been stuck in Padre.” Her eyes flared. “You and I are home now. I don’t need to live here anymore.”
It was cold as shit out here in the snow. Our cheeks were red and Kaitlyn’s eyes glittered under the white crystals. Her nose was rosey, but something in my chest cracked. I was being torn in half. I was damned no matter what decision I made.
My mouth descended on hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck reaching on her toes to bring our bodies closer. She started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I brushed the snow from her face.
“We are in twenty layers of sweaters and coats.” She tugged at my scarf. “We might as well be in sumo suits.”
“True.” I chuckled.
Letting her go felt as if I had made my decision. And somehow I had to tell her. But not now. Not when she was this happy. Not when Grayson was begging to go to the park.
I tugged on the sled. “Come on, let’s keep this sleigh ride going.”
10
Kaitlyn
I recognized a lot of the kids I used to babysit performing in the church pageant. Mary was played by the little girl who lived at the end of the street, and her doting Joseph used to throw spaghetti at me whenever I fixed him dinner.
The annual Christmas pageant was a part of our holiday traditions. It started the first year I was cast as a sheep, then moved up in the ranks to be a shepherd, and eventually the angel. In high school, I phased out of being a part of the play, but by then we were so used to going, it was just something we did. Tonight, Cole and Grayson got to see what it was all about.
Cole, my parents, and I sat in the middle of the church. The cast parents filled the first five rows. Cole and I had never been to church together, other than attending Sasha’s wedding, and I didn’t think that counted. His hand felt warm in my hand and he gave me an extra squeeze when the chorus started singing Silent Night.
I kept Grayson entertained with juice boxes and animal crackers throughout the show. After forty-five minutes, we stood to applaud the performance while the mini actors and actresses bowed. The baby Jesus started screaming and the audience laughed. I saw his mother race to the side of the stage with a bottle, while the shepherds’ crooks became entangled.
“Fun show.” Cole chuckled as we stood to file out of our pew.
“Did you like it?” I wasn’t sure how he would take a bunch of amateur child actors shouting lines, and knocking over half the props.
“Kids are cute.” He smiled as he slid his fingers through mine.
My mom stopped us in the lobby. “I’m going to check in with the cookie drive committee. I’ll meet you all at the car.” She dashed off toward the church social center.
My father turned to face us. “Why don’t I heat up the car and meet you out front?”
“Need any help?” Cole moved in front of me.
“Well, if you want to help me scrape off the snow, that would be great.”
The snow had started up again and the parking lot was coated in powder. It would probably take a while to clean the windshield. I was glad my dad was the one who was driving. I hated trying to navigate the roads in the snow, even if we were only five minutes from the house.
“No problem. See you in a minute.” Cole squeezed my hand before ducking out with my dad.
I watched the two of them pull their collars up and dip their heads as the snow drifted around them. It looked like they were laughing about something.
“I’m going to walk Grayson over to the cookie tray,” Mom offered.
“Ok.”
I held a leather clutch to my stomach. Something about hiding my pregnancy in church seemed even more taboo. I took a deep breath.
“Merry Christmas, Kaitlyn. Good to see you here.” Mr. Robinson, my high school math teacher appeared from the crowd.
“Merry Christmas to you. It was a sweet show this year.”
I kept my eye on the parking lot. Mr. Robinson had been my number one crush for the four years I attended high school. Secretly, I had a feeling the reason I went into business was because of him. Who could ignore those dimples and how sexy he looked when he pulled on a pair of glasses at the overhead board?
“So I heard you moved to Texas?” He grinned.
“I did. In the fall I left for South Padre.”
“That’s pretty far south isn’t it?”
I nodded. “Almost in Mexico. It’s a small island.”
“I never heard the story. What took you there? New job?” Mr. Robinson leaned in closer and for the first time in four years he was looking at me like I wasn’t a student.
“Actually, I met someone. Or re-met them,” I fumbled with the explanation.
This was one of the oddest conversations I’d had at church. Trying to tell my one-time off-limits high school math teacher crush that I had fallen in love with someone his age and moved to another state.
“Really?” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t know.”
“What about you? How are things going at school?” My dad and Cole must be having a hard time de-icing the windshield. There was no sign of the car.
“I’ve got a few good classes, but no students like you.” He smiled lightly. “Maybe I’ll see you again before you head back to Texas.”
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Robinson.”
“It’s Paul. You can call me Paul now.” He waved as he darted out the door.
“No car yet?” My mom looped an arm through mine. Grayson had a cookie in each hand. He looked happy and covered in red and green sugar.
“No, they said they’d bring it up for us.”
“Was that Mr. Robinson you were talking to?” My mother arched one eyebrow higher than the other.
I felt my cheeks turning crimson. “Yes. He didn’t know about my move to Padre. Just filling him in.”
“Ah ha.” She smiled. “I never had teachers that good-looking in school. Can’t believe he’s still single. But he’s young, only twenty-eight. He’s got plenty of time.” Her grip tightened against my arm.
Was that a jab at my age or Cole’s? Was she trying to tell me that since I was younger than him I had time to wait and settle down? Before I could ask her what she meant, the car pulled in front of the door and Cole hopped out to hold the doors open for us.
“It’s pretty and all, but I think I’m glad we don’t have to deal with this mess in Padre.” Cole winked as he shuttled me into the car. His breath formed clouds of ice crystals, he looked like he was about to shiver out of his coat.
“All right,” my father announced. “Let’s get this sleigh back to the house for a night cap.” I rolled my eyes. There was no way the living room fern could handle another drink.
11
Kaitlyn
By the time we finally said goodnight to my parents and tucked Grayson in my old bedroom it was well after midnight. Cole locked the deadbolt on the guesthouse door. His arms wrapped around me and he kissed me on the forehead.
“You know what I want to do we haven’t done yet?” he asked.
“What’s that, cowboy?” I tipped toward him.
“We haven’t watched any Christmas movies.” His smile was wide.
“Christmas movie? You want to watch a movie, now?”
“Sure. I’m starting to get into this Christmas thing. Which is your favorite?” He hooked his coat on the back of the door followed by his scarf.
“That’s a tough one. All-time favorite Christmas movie?” I thought through the usual catalog. “Have you seen Christmas Vacation?”
Cole had already turned on the TV and was repositioning the pillows on the couch.
“Yeah, in high school, but let’s watch it.” He picked up the remote and started flipping through the streaming movies.
“Be right back.” I left him searching for the movie and walked into the bedroom.
If Cole wanted to watch a Christmas movie, I had no problem with it, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him. I pulled open the top drawer of the dresser and shuffled through what little lingerie I had. I lifted a sheer red lace bra and matching thong from the pile. It wasn’t much, but that was th
e point.
I shed my sweater and ignored the chill bumps on my arms and legs. My breasts spilled out of the cups. I could barely slide the thong over my thighs, but I felt sexy. I strutted into the living room in my Christmas best.
“Find the movie?” I asked and slid into the open spot on the couch.
“Fuck.” Cole chuckled. “I did, but you aren’t in the mood for a movie, are you?”
“I’m in the mood for whatever you are.” My hand wrapped to the inside of his thigh. “If it’s Clark Griswold, then let’s watch it.” I stared straight ahead at the television, waiting for him to hit play.
Cole inhaled, and raked his teeth across his bottom lip. I could see the inner debate brewing.
“You don’t think I can watch this entire movie with you dressed like that, do you?” he taunted.
“I’m just more comfortable this way, that’s all. Think of these as my pajamas.” I let my palm trail over my breast and across my bare stomach. “Let’s watch it.” I ran my tongue along the outer edge of his ear.
Cole pressed the play button and the movie started. Not what I was expecting. I sank back into the couch, realizing my seduction was going to have to wait until Cousin Eddie saved Christmas.
But before the opening credits had finished, Cole turned and blazed a fiery kiss on my lips, pulling me underneath him with sudden fierceness. His hands raced along my sides, pulling the straps over my hips and knees until I felt the satiny fabric slip off my ankles. I moaned as his fingers swirled then dipped inside me, building a frenzy within me with only a few strokes.
“You’re so wet,” he groaned.
I reached for his belt, but he pushed my hands away. “Uh-uh,” he growled before his mouth descended between my legs, his tongue sending sparks of electricity through my body. My back arched, my pulse throbbed, and my hands reached overhead as I took everything he gave. His tongue lapped between my folds, flicking over my clit.
“Oh God,” I moaned.
“Say it,” he commanded.
Don’t Tell: The Series Page 34
