“Wow. And I only slept two hours.”
Cole grinned. “Want to watch Grayson on this thing? He’s a natural.”
“Of course.” I leaned into Cole.
* * *
The rest of the afternoon felt like a regular Christmas. Everyone chatted through dinner and told Mom how great the turkey was. I helped clean up the kitchen afterward while the guys had drinks and watched the end of game that had gone into overtime.
Mom handed me a folder. “I put a few things together for you.”
I looked at it. “What’s this?” I flipped the top open.
“Just some ideas for the wedding.”
“When did you have time to do this?” I asked. She had printed pages and pages of dresses and outdoor wedding settings. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she could have just set up a shared cloud file.
“I-I know the last twenty-four hours have been stressful. And honestly, that’s the last thing you need right now.” I saw the look of compassion in her eyes. “Your father just wants the best for you. And he has his own way of showing it.”
I lowered my lashes. “Mom, I don’t think we should talk about it. The wedding is at the end of the week. Cole and I are ok with it. I don’t want any more fighting.”
“I’ll do everything, Kaitlyn. The whole thing. You have enough to worry about with those babies. Ok?”
I nodded. “Ok.”
I knew it was the only way she knew how to make peace. For now, I was ok with that.
I walked down the hall to kiss Grayson goodnight. He was asleep with a teddy bear under his arm and a car in his fist. I unwrapped it from his hand and placed the car next to the bed. I bent to kiss him on the forehead.
“Merry Christmas, little guy.”
I turned off the light and walked into the living room. My brother and Cole were groaning about free throws when I walked in.
“Ready?” I asked. I nodded toward the guest house. “Grayson is out.”
“Goodnight, man.” He slapped Ryan on the book.
“Mr. Thomas.”
“You’re getting ready to be my son-in-law. Let’s try Frank.”
He nodded. “All right. Good night, Frank.”
I gave them all hugs before we walked across the yard.
When we were finally inside I leaned into the door.
“That was the craziest day of my life,” I uttered.
“And the sad thing is you couldn’t even drink through it,” Cole teased. “At least I had booze to numb it.”
“Funny.” I swatted at his chest, but hit a solid wall of muscle.
His eyes lit. He grabbed my wrists, pulling me toward him.
I could smell the traces of bourbon on his breath. I inhaled his lips, licking and sucking them. Our tongues collided. I’d never wanted to get lost in him the way I did right now. We stumbled backward into the room.
I raised my arms as he shimmied my sweater over my head and unclasped my bra. I worked the buttons on his shirt until his chest was bare. I ran my fingertips over his skin, tracing the hard lines on his torso.
In seconds our pants were gone too. There was nothing between us. I kneeled in front of him, kissing every inch of his body I could touch. I groaned at the sight of his bulging cock.
My tongue traced the head, licking the drop of dew on top. My lips parted wide enough for Cole to thrust inside my mouth. He grabbed the back of my head, drawing my lips farther up his shaft. He sank deeper in my throat. I gurgled under the pressure, but I loved sucking him like this. I loved his scent. His taste. My eyes locked on his as he pulled out, brushing his cock over my lips.
He lowered to the floor, crawling powerfully, taking me under him. His tongue lashing at my breasts, my neck, and my throat. My head rolled to the side, letting go, giving in.
He growled against my neck. “I’m going to fuck you under the Christmas tree, baby.”
I moaned as his tongue swirled against my nipple. It puckered between his teeth. I leaned back on my palms, giving him my breasts.
“God, yes,” I begged.
“Tell me, Kaitlyn,” he demanded.
My eyes flashed open. “Tell you what?” I smiled. I saw the look in his eyes. I knew what he wanted to hear. I wanted to drag it out a little longer.
“What do you want right now?” His lips burned into mine and I gasped when I felt his fingers between my legs, spreading me wider. I whimpered as he slowed the pace, leaving me empty and desperate for more.
“I want you, Cole. I’ve always wanted you.” My hands slid along his sides, taking in the ridges of his muscles.
He chuckled. “Tell me, pretty girl. Right now, what do you want?”
I knew exactly what I wanted. I knew how I wanted to feel with him. I knew how my body craved him like oxygen. I knew how we could be connected emotionally and physically like no other way, as if we were actually melting our bodies together. That was what I wanted.
“I’ll show you what I want,” I purred.
I turned away from him then pressed my back into his chest, my head rocking back on his shoulder. His hands wrapped around my hips and slid between my legs, urging my knees to spread. My breath quickened as the need coiling in my core started to tighten. I rocked into his hands, sending his fingers deeper, until I was almost in a white oblivion.
“Feel good?” He moaned, pressing into my thighs. His fingers plunged inside my aching wet pussy. “Tell me, baby. You want me like this?”
“No.” I shook my head against his shoulder, barely able to form the words. “Like this.”
My hands walked forward on the floor and I lowered myself under the tree, my hips lifted, creating space under my stomach.
“Like this, Cole. Fuck me like this.” I sighed as his chest pressed against my back, leaning over me.
His teeth gnashed as his hand smacked against my ass.
“Oomph,” I yelped, but started grinding my hips upward. I was dripping wet for him.
I heard him groan and I knew he was as turned on as I was. I was afraid the second he touched me I would burst into flames. I had never wanted him or loved him so much. His kisses started at my neck and moved along my ear. His fingers danced over my arms until our hands were interlocked, the diamond peeking through our hands.
My hips danced under his, grinding against him, rising higher each time our skin blazed with contact. His cock was like a shaft of steel. I whimpered, wanting it inside me.
“Fuck me,” I pleaded. “I need you.”
His teeth sank into my shoulder as the wide head of his erection pierced my pussy with fire.
“I want to fuck you the rest of the night, baby.” Cole spoke the words and I shifted upward meeting his deep thrust. He bit into my neck before thrusting again.
“I love fucking you, Kaitlyn,” he whispered in my ear.
“Don’t stop.” I panted. “Don’t. Ever. Stop.” I jutted back, taking his cock deeper.
He slid a hand between my legs, flicking over my clit. I tried to shake him off. He knew I couldn’t resist coming like this.
“Come hard on my dick, baby.”
I shook my head. “Not yet,” I pleaded.
“You’ll come hard,” he growled.
“Oh holy shit,” I whimpered as my body started to shake and vibrate with the first orgasm. I knew he had more planned. He always did.
He pushed inside me, searing my inner walls with his strength as I convulsed around him. I slammed my palms on the floor. It was one shockwave after another. I hadn’t accepted this part of pregnancy sex yet. Just when I thought an orgasm was over—it wasn’t. There was another tidal wave hiding under the surface.
“So fucking sexy,” he growled, flipping me on my back.
He lifted my ankles to his shoulders. I cried out when he spread my folds with his fingers and sliced into me with his throbbing cock.
“You look gorgeous, baby.” He bit his bottom lip. My hands moved to my breasts. He began to rock into me with more force. I pinched my nipples
, whimpering at the electric current running to my pussy.
“Ohh, Cole. I’m going to come again.”
“Yes, you are.” He waggled his eyebrows. “All night. It’s Christmas.”
I inhaled sharply as the next firework exploded inside me. I felt the fire spread along my nerve endings until I was begging for another one.
“All night,” he promised.
I was desperate for air, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. He bit and kissed me. I licked and lapped at his body. Our hands tangled and our breath was ragged. I climbed his body and he surged inside mine.
With one final thrust, Cole catapulted us into the blaze. I gasped his name, but we were so lost. So gone. The words never came.
22
Kaitlyn
I stared up at the branches overhead dotted with white lights. The Texas ornament swung against the needles.
Cole was propped on his elbow, drawing slow circles on my stomach. “God, I love you.” He smiled. I hadn’t seen him this happy.
“I love you too.”
“So do you have the whole thing planned out?” he asked.
“Planned out, what do you mean?”
“The wedding. I figured after Sasha’s wedding you would know exactly what you wanted.”
“Well, that was before I knew we were having a holiday wedding,” I admitted. “This isn’t exactly going to be a beach wedding.”
“No. It’s not.”
He kissed my shoulder and shifted to give me more room next to the Christmas tree.
Cole’s fingers tipped my chin upward. “Darlin’, I know you’re worried.”
“Don’t say it.” I pressed a finger to his lips. “I don’t care if I’m in denial. I don’t care if it’s stupid and naïve. Please don’t say anything about your mission. You’re going to be here for the wedding.”
He nodded. “Ok. I’m going to be here.”
I moved forward to kiss him. His lips felt firm and tender, just like the first time we kissed on the beach. That was what I wanted to hold on to. That was what I wanted to remember.
His palm rested on my belly. “Tell these two to be good while I’m gone.”
I smiled. “I will.”
He kissed my stomach. “Listen to her,” he ordered.
I laid back in his arms. I wanted to stay awake and talk the rest of the night. I wanted to memorize everything about our night together. Our first Christmas. But I nuzzled against his chest. It was where I felt safest. Where I knew I was always protected.
“Don’t let me fall asleep,” I whispered.
“It’s ok.”
I tried to shake my head. “No. You’ll be gone tomorrow.”
“Shh. I’ll be back.”
I fought the burn in my eyes. I tried to focus on the tree. I looked across the room at the flickering candles.
But there wasn’t anything Cole could do. My eyes closed.
* * *
Five days to plan a wedding was like trying to get a size ten foot in a size six shoe. It was impossible. But with Moira Thomas as my wedding coordinator, there was a chance we could accomplish the unthinkable.
It didn’t hurt that Sasha had flown in on the twenty-seventh. She was my closest friend in South Padre. As a recent bride, she had a lot of experience to share. I needed her and Mary Ellen to get me through the week.
Sasha drummed a pencil on the dining room table. “I think we have enough chairs and high-top tables.”
Mary Ellen clicked something on her phone. “And these guys who put up Christmas lights are dying to do the backyard. After this week they have no jobs until next year. I got a great price on it.”
Money wasn’t what I was worried about. Cole told me I could spend anything I wanted. He thought if he took on the cost, it might be an olive branch for my dad. But my father wasn’t impressed with Cole’s millions.
“Ok good. Good.” My mom sat in between them. “And Ryan is taking care of parking on the street.”
I nodded. They had everything under control. Other than put on the dress, I didn’t have anything to do but show up. That and worry every second of the day that Cole was safe. He’d been gone three days and I hadn’t heard from him.
“Does that work for you, Kaitlyn?” Sasha asked.
“Hmm?”
“If we carry red roses? Or is too cliché?”
“Sure. It’s fine.”
Mary Ellen leaned over. “We just thought at night in the garden with the snow they’d really stand out, but if you want a different color.”
“No. Red roses. Perfect.”
My mother sighed. “Is there anything you want?”
“Cole.”
“Two more days.” She smiled.
It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate everyone’s optimism, but I was barely hanging on by a thread. “I’m going to get some water. I’ll be right back.”
“I can get it for you, honey.”
“That’s ok.”
I scooted out of the room before I missed my chance to escape. I found Ryan in the kitchen.
“Hey. How’s the planning going?” he asked.
I poured a glass of water. “I think everything is done.”
“I’m impressed. Not that I doubted Mom, but really? They’ve got it covered?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“Then why do you look like that?”
“Like what?” I asked defensively.
“I don’t know. Like when Pickles died.”
I glared at him. “You promised you’d never bring that bunny up again.”
“Then stop looking like that.”
I took a gulp of water. “I need to talk to Cole.”
Ryan exhaled. His green eyes softened. “I think I take for granted what it looks like on this side of a mission.”
“What do you mean?”
“It takes a lot of focus to be over there. And you know, thank God I don’t have a girl here to worry about.”
“What about Audrey?” I asked.
He shook his head. “On again. Off again. Hook up again.” He grinned.
“Ryan.” I pushed his shoulder.
“I’m not going to get serious with her. Because of this.” He pointed at me. “You have convinced me I’ve made the right decision about her.”
I opened my mouth to argue.
“Don’t. I know what I’m doing. I can’t leave again in two weeks if she’s hung up like you are. I can’t imagine what Cole is dealing with.”
I poured another glass of water. “We aren’t supposed to be going through this,” I reminded him. “He’s been out of the Corps. I didn’t sign up to be a military wife.”
“True. But it doesn’t mean I’m changing my mind about Audrey. She’s a sweet girl. Hot as shit, but I’m not putting her through this.”
“And who says you aren’t already?”
He cocked his head toward me. “I’ve told her not to get attached.”
I laughed. “And that always works when you tell girls not to get attached.”
“What do you want me to do? Be celibate when I come home on leave?”
I made a face. “I don’t want to know anything about that, just like you don’t want to know about Cole and me.”
“Shit no. Stop right there.”
“See?” I paused. “But seriously, Ryan. You always call Audrey. She’s not dating anyone else. Mom invited her to the wedding. You’re a complete dick if you think you can convince me she’s not important to you.”
“I didn’t say she’s not important. I said I’m not going to get her wrapped up in military life. Look at what you’re dealing with. You’re wandering around like he’s not coming home.” His eyes were on me. “Don’t do that. Don’t believe anything but the best. Believe he’s going to be at the alter. He needs that more from you than you realize. You are the reason he’s going to come home.” He smiled.
“And what about you?” I asked. “If it’s not Audrey? Then what is it? What brings you back, big bro
ther?”
He shook his head. “Pure fucking luck.”
23
Cole
I was proud of my service. I loved my country. One day I was going to tell my kids what I had done. I was going to tell them their father was a part of something bigger than anything they could comprehend. But for that to happen, I had to get the fuck home.
By the time we reached Kabatur the first night it was nearly dawn. But there wasn’t time to adjust to the clock. I had to lead these men through a set of interpreters before they could even start the extraction mission.
We moved forward under heavy cover. There were snipers on every rooftop. It had been a long time since I was covered in vests and carried my own weapons.
The first time I placed my hand on the trigger, the memories of two years ago came flooding back. Faster and harder than I wanted.
Living at the beach, I was able to live a life that had nothing to do with war. Nothing to do with death or survival. I worked on my grandfather’s motel. I made a life for Grayson. I raised my son. And when I wasn’t looking, the most gorgeous girl walked back into my life. A girl who was going to be my wife in a few days.
That life felt like it was millions of miles away when I was surrounded by desert huts. I thought I knew what it meant to appreciate the new life I had made, but I needed this kick in the balls to really get it.
If I made it out of here, I swore to God I’d never take what I had for granted again. It was one thing to be here as a bachelor, but it was a hell of a different story to be a father. To be the man Kaitlyn needed. Half my heart was in the States. The other half I tried to shut down, so I’d stop hurting so much every time I thought about her. Every time I thought about what it would do to her if I didn’t make it back.
“Why are we stopping?” I asked the sergeant driving our armored Jeep.
“Bomb squad is up ahead,” he explained. “I’m not driving around it.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. “Yeah, good call.”
We would have to sit until this section of the road was cleared for travel. I stepped out of the Jeep and took a sip of water from my canteen.
Don’t Tell: The Series Page 39
