"And you are not the man I thought you were." She moved to the door and opened it. "Leave now!"
"Saber, I want to recapture the love we found in Georgia. Everything has gone wrong, but I'll make it right." He reached out his hand and touched her hair. "You're like a well-bred filly and need to be handled gently. The only thing that would spoil it for us is if the Miller brothers sullied you."
She opened the door wider as she prepared to tell the first untruth of her life. "Then you are going to need to hear what I have to say if you feel that way."
Matthew was beginning to sober, to see the results of his actions. There was fear reflected on Saber's face. He loved her didn't she know that? "Your brother told you I wanted you examined by a doctor, didn't he? That's what we'll do. You will do that for me, won't you, Saber?"
"I'll never submit to such an indignity."
He drew near her and turned her slowly to face him. "I see now that all this has upset you. I was wrong to come here tonight, and I'm so sorry. Say you'll forgive me."
"You have every right to know what happened to me while I was with the Miller brothers, Matthew. What would you do if you knew for certain that they raped me?"
He swallowed several times. "I love you. We would work it out somehow."
"How do you work out something like that? Would you resent me later on because I was violated by them?"
"I want you for my wife, Saber."
"Would you resent me later on?" she asked again, looking into his eyes to glean the truth.
"I had always thought the woman I married would come to me pure," he answered honestly. "I don't want you touched by any other man."
Saber remembered Reese telling her that if the woman he loved had been treated badly, he would only love her more. "You would feel that way even though the situation was none of my doing, Matthew?"
He felt crushing pain. "The way you are talking, Saber, makes me think those bastards did rape you."
She ducked her head. "I will say only that I am not untouched, Matthew. Don't ask me anything more. I will not speak of it to you ever."
He lowered his head. "What if you... if you were to have a baby?"
"What if I did?"
He shook his head. "This is more than I can live with, Saber. I love you, but I can't give my name to you. I don't think I could make love to you without thinking of another man touching you."
"That is the way I thought you would feel. I release you from your promise, Matthew. You can say anything you want to save face with the other officers. I will remain silent on the matter."
"No one will ever hear about this from me, Saber." He staggered past her and stood in the hallway.
He didn't love her with the unselfish love she wanted from the man she married. "I think this is good-bye for us, Matthew."
He clasped her head between his hands. "When I saw you tonight, I remembered how much I loved you. I wanted you to be beside me the rest of my life. But I can't accept this, Saber. Try to understand."
"I'm trying. And you have to understand that after your conduct tonight, I could never marry you." There was sorrow in her blue eyes.
When he walked slowly away, she closed and securely locked the door, leaning against it. Tears of misery spilled down her cheeks. It was done.
Already Matthew was regretting the way he had acted with Saber. If only he hadn't been drinking when he'd gone to her room, it might have been different. He was haunted by the look of disgust on her face. How would he ever make it up to her for the things he had said to her?
Saber smiled sadly, hoping as time passed she would think of Matthew as the dashing calvary officer who had come to her rescue that year in Georgia. She went to the window and watched him mount his horse and ride away. "A young girl's dream," she said softly. "Not a woman's love."
Reese was sober when he walked to the livery stable to saddle his horse. The cold air helped to clear his head. He had only one thing to do now, and that was to find Felton and bring him in. That was the last thing he could do for Saber.
The barn was dark, with only a single lantern hanging from the rusty nail beside the front door. He made his way to his horse, which had been placed in the back stall. Throwing the blanket over the horse's back, he then lifted the saddle into place.
"Reese..."
Reese spun around to find Saber standing behind him. For a long moment he stared at her, unable to speak. "Should you be here?" he asked at last. "It's late to be out."
"I saw you from my hotel window and followed you here."
"I'm sure if you leave now, no one will be the wiser."
She ran her hand over the neck of his horse. "I need to talk to you."
He placed the saddle back on the railing. "I see you will have your way in this." He folded his arms over his chest. "Go ahead talk. I'm listening."
"Reese, I lied to Matthew tonight. Not in words, really, but I led him to draw the wrong conclusion."
He couldn't see her face very well in the muted light, so he stepped closer to her. "What about?"
"I let him think that I'd been raped."
He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. "Why would you do something like that? You know it isn't true - I told you it wasn't."
She decided not to tell him how badly Matthew had behaved in her hotel room. Reese didn't need to know how reprehensibly his friend had acted tonight. "He didn't love me enough, Reese. Not the way a woman wants to be loved."
"I know he loves you, Saber. Surely he told you that."
"Yes, he did. But I am a rancher's daughter. I don't want the kind of life Matthew wants. I would not make a good politician's wife."
"It sounds like you didn't love him enough, Saber."
She moved closer and touched his cheek. "There is truth in that, Reese. I was so young when we first met. I guess you could say neither Matthew nor I loved each other enough."
Against his will he pulled her into his arms, feeling the softness of her cheek against his. "I'm sorry, Saber. I believe you and Matthew were right for each other."
"What about you, Reese? Will you ever marry?"
He set her away from him and reached for his saddle, so he'd have something to do with his hands. "No woman would want a broken-down old cowboy like me, Saber."
She laughed. "I see a tall, handsome man with wide shoulders who makes the women swoon when he passes by."
He frowned. "Surely not you."
"I don't know, cowboy. You stomp around in those boots acting tough, but I have seen the softness in you. And that's what I like most about you."
He drew in an agitated breath. "Is there a point to all this, Saber?"
"Yes, I was getting to that. If a man touches a woman intimately, do you think it's his duty to marry her?"
He let out his breath and dropped the saddle. "Damn it, Saber! I know where you are going with this. Is that why you wouldn't marry Matthew, because I touched you?"
She could have said yes, but it wasn't true, and she had already told one lie tonight. In truth, she wanted him to take her to the ground right now and fan the flames that he'd ignited in her that day in his barn. "You are the only man who has touched me. I think if my brother knew, he'd insist you marry me."
"Hardly. I don't think I'm what he has in mind for a brother-in-law."
"I would never feel right with any another man, Reese."
He glanced upward, trying not to lose his patience. "I shouldn't have done what I did, Saber. But your virginity is still intact. You are as pure as the day you were born."
She stepped closer to him. "Didn't you like touching me, Reese?"
He stepped away from her so fast she might have thought her touch burned him. "You'd better leave now, Saber. A man can only take so much."
She moved even closer, standing so near she could feel his breath on her cheek. She leaned her head on his shoulder and felt him stiffen. No one had ever given her the comfort she drew from being near him. She loved him, and she was sure he loved her. But he
would never ask her to marry him. He had the mistaken notion that he wasn't good enough for her. How could she make him see he was wrong?
"Hold me, Reese."
His arms went around her, crushing her against his body. He kissed her cheek, ran his lips across her lashes, and then lifted her, crushing her mouth with his. Saber had never known that a kiss could be so consuming. She felt as if she would faint. She never wanted him to stop, but he did.
He drew back his head, on the brink of losing control completely. "If you don't leave now, Saber, I'll have you in that hay in another minute, and there won't be any doubt that you have had a man."
She dropped her cape and unhooked her gown while he watched helplessly. He burned and swelled for her, and when she took his hand and placed it on her exposed breast, he went slowly to his knees, taking her with him. His lips were on her mouth while he caressed her breast but he wanted more.
Saber hardly realized he had laid her on the hay. He lowered his head, his mouth closing over her nipple, and she wanted to scream from the unbridled passion that tore through her. He pushed the bottom of her gown upward and moved her legs apart.
Reese had wanted her for so long, he couldn't stop himself now. He rolled her to her back and lowered his body on top of her.
He pressed between her legs, and she could feel him even through his trousers. Saber squirmed, trying to get closer to him. She didn't want anything between them but bare flesh.
"Be still," he said in a growl, "or I'll have all of you, Saber."
She arched her back, pressing herself against the swell of him.
Reese groaned, pushed her undergarment aside, and caressed her urgently. "Is this what you wanted? Is this why you came here?"
His words were angry and like a cold dash of water in her face. She braced her hands against his chest, feeling the laborious beating of his heart. "I didn't have this in mind when I followed you. But once inside the barn, I decided I wanted you." She pushed against him, and he released her.
"Your plan worked. My hands were all over you, Saber."
He gripped her arm, but she shoved his hand away. "You have nothing to reproach yourself for tonight, Reese. The fault is all mine."
She scrambled to her feet and tugged her gown into place. Reaching down for her cape, she slipped it around her shoulders and hurried toward the door. But she had not gone far before she came up against the solid wall of Reese's chest.
She was near the lantern, and he could see tears on her cheeks. "God, Saber, why are you doing this? What do you want from me?"
She shook her head, suddenly feeling ashamed of her actions. "I will say good-bye now. I don't think our paths will cross again, Reese."
His hands dropped away. "No. I don't think they will, Saber. There is just one question I want to ask you, but I really don't have that right."
"You can ask me anything you want to."
"Would you marry a broken-down old cowboy?"
"Would that cowboy be you?"
"You didn't let me finish, Saber. Could you so easily turn away from Matthew, who has loved you for years and has spoken of you every day I've known him? Could you leave him and marry me?
She was about to tell her second falsehood of the night. "I suppose you are feeling guilty, but you don't need to, Reese. It's not necessary for you to make me respectable by marrying me. Nothing really happened between us."
He was silent for a long time. "Would you have me for a husband, Saber?" His hand trembled when he touched hers. "Would you?"
She wanted him to reach inside himself and admit he loved her. "Why?"
"For whatever the reason, I'm asking you to be my wife." He had not intended to ask her to marry him; the words just seemed to slip out. He expected her to refuse his offer and to be horrified that he would dare ask her to marry him. He felt a deep, empty void inside as he waited for her to reject him. After tonight, he'd go back to his ranch and take up his empty life. Nothing would have any meaning because the goldenhaired woman who'd made him fall in love had left him.
"Yes," she answered without further hesitation. "I will have you for my husband, Reese."
He reeled in shock at her acceptance. At first he thought he must have misunderstood. Maybe she wanted to punish Matthew by marrying his friend. Whatever her reasons were, they didn't matter to him. He'd take her any way he could get her.
"What do we do now? Do I go to your brother and ask for your hand?"
She was willing him to take her in his arms and confess he loved her, but he seemed to be in a daze. "I will tell Noble."
They stared at each other, both having so much to say, but neither willing to mention the love that burned within.
"I have something I have to do first," he said at last. "In two weeks' time, I'll come to you at Casa del Sol to ask if you still want to marry me."
Saber didn't know what she'd expected from Reese, but it certainly wasn't this cold indifference. "I won't change my mind. I'll be waiting for you," she answered, rushing past him into the night. He went to the door and watched her until she was safely inside the hotel.
He braced his back against the door frame and stared up at the night sky. This day, which had begun so miserably, had ended in his getting the one woman in the world for him.
But could he make her happy? He would sure try his damnedest. Even if he could keep her only a day or a week, he wanted her so much it ripped him apart inside.
He went back inside to finish saddling his horse. Just the thought of giving her his name, then taking her to bed, cut his breathing off.
Two weeks was a long time to wait when he wanted to be with her so desperately!
Spring burst across the land. The prairie grasses had turned green, and new foals were frolicking in the fields among the wildflowers at Casa del Sol.
Saber shoved an apple through the fence to entice a young colt on wobbly legs to come forward. The colt nudged the apple and then backed nervously away. The mare, however, was accustomed to Saber's bringing treats and pushed her head forward to take the apple, devouring it in a short time.
Noble appeared at her side, grinning. "You have always had the Vincente touch with animals."
She turned troubled eyes on her brother. "Noble, do you think Reese will lose his ranch?"
"Not if he can help it. He's a fighter, Saber, and won't give up easily."
"You admire him, don't you?"
"Yes, I do. But that doesn't mean I want you to marry him."
"I love him, Noble."
He had balked at the idea of his sister marrying Reese. He had nothing against the rancher, but it was only a short time ago that she believed she loved Matthew. Rachel had calmed many of Noble's fears, and he did feel that Reese would be good to his sister. "He won't accept help from you, Saber. He's too proud to live on his wife's money."
"But I want to help him. There must be some way."
"We will think of something." He slid his arm around her shoulder. "It's a funny thing-I was not all that willing to give you up to Matthew, and I'm still not sure I know all that happened that night of the dance."
"I realized I couldn't marry him because I loved Reese."
He tilted her chin up. "Has he told you he loves you?"
"Not in words. But I know he does."
He grinned. "That's why we men don't have a chance around you women. You always know what we're thinking."
"Rachel certainly can read your mind." She threw back her head and laughed. "Your little redhead is the perfect woman for you just as Reese is right for me."
He moved toward the stable and called over his shoulder, "See you at dinner."
Saber turned back to the house, knowing that Reese would be arriving any day. She watched and listened for him and could hardly sleep at night for thinking about him. She couldn't wait to go back to his ranch and make it a home for him. She could hardly breathe when she thought of the night she would go to him as his wife. Saber was determined to be the best wife possible. Reese had been
alone for so long, and she wanted to take care of him. She wanted to give him a family and to make him happy.
She watched as three wagons pulled up to the house more supplies for the wedding. Noble had insisted that his sister marry in the Vincente style, and Rachel had agreed with him. Invitations had gone out all over Texas, and most of those invited would attend.
Reese rode through the gates of Casa del Sol and looked about him with the eyes of a rancher. Fat cattle grazed on plentiful grass, with an occa sional bundle of hay dotting the land. Water was plentiful, fed by the double fork of the Brazos River. There was a peacefulness and serenity here. He galloped underneath huge trees that arched over the road. When he topped a rise, he gazed at the magnificent Spanish ranch house with the red-tile roof. There were barns, stables, outbuildings, and bunkhouses. Blooded horses ran behind the white rail fence near the corral. This was the kind of life Saber was accustomed to. What kind of life could she expect to have with him? There was nothing he could offer her that her brother didn't have more of.
As he rode up to the stable, Zeb came hobbling toward him. "I was told you was coming, Mr. Starrett. There's quite a to-do up to the big house." He cast a sideways glance at Reese. "You're taking the rose of Casa del Sol. I 'spect you will look out for her and treat her well."
Reese had to smile at the crusty old cowboy. "I'll do my best, Zeb."
"I knowed you would. I heard you're a good man; leastwise, Rachel says so, and she ain't never wrong about people."
Reese dismounted. "I'll have to remember to thank her for the kind testimonial."
At that moment Rachel came across the yard with a welcoming smile on her lips. "Reese. I'm glad you're here at last." She could tell he was startled when she kissed his cheek and linked her arm through his. "I'm afraid you are going to have to suffer through a long bout of singing and dancing tonight. We at Casa del Sol know how to celebrate a wedding in fine style."
Reese removed his hat and paused at the door. "Saber still wants to go through with this?"
Rachel looked into Reese's slate gray eyes. She saw there the anxiety he was feeling. "I don't think you can get away from her now, so you'd better get ready to settle down and become a married man." Impishness danced in her eyes. "Father Delion has already arrived to perform the ceremony."
Ride The Wind (Vincente 3) Page 17
