‘I couldn’t let Seb go without a proper goodbye, and nor should you.’
‘It’s just not that simple,’ Lucinda argued, but Ann wasn’t giving in.
‘It’s as simple as you want it to be. You’re having his babies, Lucinda. I know what he said, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it, not Seb. He’s special and—’
But Lucinda cut her off. ‘Just leave it, Ann, please.’ Ann nodded but Lucinda could tell there was plenty more she wanted to say. ‘How’s Jake?’ Lucinda asked, glad to be able to change the subject.
‘Sore and sorry. He’s got a long road ahead of him but he’ll be all right. I’m just waiting for him to get a bit more strength back and then I can kill him,’ she said dryly.
‘And how are you coping with it all?’
Ann gave a small shrug. ‘Every time it gets too hard, I just think of Wayne’s parents and think what they’re going through. I know then that I’m the lucky one. It’s made me do a bit of thinking, though. I’ve taken long-service leave, I had twelve weeks owing, but after that I think I’ll hand my notice in.’
Lucinda had half expected to hear it. Ann had already hinted she’d had enough at the Christmas party and now, given all that had happened, she wasn’t surprised.
‘The ward will really miss you, Ann. Me, too.’
‘I’ll miss them as well, but sometimes family just has to come first, as you’re no doubt about to find out. I’m not against working mums. I’m one myself. And although we’ve needed my wage, I’ve also loved my career, but sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Some things just have to give when you have children. Anyway, with the way Jake is, I’ll be around the hospital for a while yet so you’re not going to get a chance to miss me. And that means I can keep an eye on you, make sure you do tell him.’
‘You don’t give up, do you?’ Lucinda smiled.
‘Only when it’s a lost cause, and I certainly don’t think that about you and Seb. Speaking of which, I’d better go and find him—I want to get back up to Jake.’
Ann made her way over and Lucinda watched as Seb, who was chatting away, stopped and greeted his friend, obviously touched and delighted she’d made the effort to come. He put his arm casually around Ann’s shoulders and drew her into the group. The hospital was losing two of its finest.
Lucinda lingered a moment, not wanting to leave, but how could she stay? She had made an appearance—that was enough. If she had to speak to him, had to go over and say goodbye, she knew she couldn’t do it. Turning on her heel, she slipped from the room, unnoticed, and walked out of the party and out of Seb’s life. It was the hardest thing she had ever done.
Lucinda didn’t go straight home. Instead, she wandered aimlessly along the Yarra, staring into the murky waters, tears streaming unchecked down her cheeks. No one paid her any attention. The riverbank was bursting with couples and groups. The theatres had come out and theatre-goers were walking past, clutching their programmes, stopping for a drink, prolonging the night, so that they could relive the play they had just seen.
She put her hand up to her necklace and clutched the tiny robot, reliving scenes of her own—that weekend in Queensland where no scripts had been needed, when it had all flowed so beautifully. Who could have predicted then how the final scene would have played out? Slowly she made her way across the bridge.
On Monday she would be back at work, but this time there would be no Ann and, more poignantly, no Seb. She would tell Mr Hays that she couldn’t accept the promotion Pete had hinted at. It simply wouldn’t be fair to take it, knowing that she was going to be taking maternity leave. Maybe she could work part time for a while, and if that didn’t work out she could always go into research. What was that saying? Nine to five and no one died. It sounds pretty good from here, she thought wearily as she pushed the revolving doors to her apartment block.
‘Lucinda.’ Standing in her lobby was Seb.
She blinked a couple of times. ‘What are you doing here?’ she finally managed to ask.
‘I’ve just been speaking to Ann. We need to talk.’
She nodded, her heart in her mouth. Seb pushed the lift button and they stepped inside, Seb watching her as she busied herself retrieving her keys from the depths of her bag.
She let them in and, flicking the lights on, found her voice.
‘What did Ann say?’ she asked nervously as she set about getting glasses from the kitchen cupboard.
‘That I was mad to leave you.’
Ann, it would seem, had been busy.
‘Anything else?’
‘That I should tell you how I feel.’
She finally looked over to where he stood. For once he didn’t look his usual confident self, and Lucinda was reminded of that morning in the annexe after Billy’s operation.
‘You’ve already told me how you feel, Seb, right over there by the door, remember, the same door you walked out of a couple of months ago.’
Seb shook his head ‘That wasn’t how I felt. Walking out that night was the worse thing I’ve ever had to do, you have to believe me.’
‘Then why did you?’ She stood there, her back straight, and took a deep breath. Abigail would have been proud.
Seb walked over and took the glasses out of her hands. Placing them on the kitchen bench, he took her hand and guided her over to the couch.
‘Can we sit down and talk properly?’
She gave a small nod and sat down, staring ahead as Seb sat beside her. She was terrified her eyes might betray her and he would realise how much she loved him.
‘I knew you were a great doctor even before I met you,’ he started unsteadily. ‘Then, after seeing you work, I knew that you weren’t just good, you’re probably the best surgeon I’ve ever seen. You can go as far as you like.’
Lucinda shook her head, and started to stand up. ‘What on earth has that got to do with anything?’
‘Please, Lucinda.’ He pulled her back down beside him. ‘Let me finish.
‘When you made that speech in Queensland I knew you were going to be huge. Then when I met your parents, heard about your dreams, well, I just don’t belong in that world.’
‘Nor do I, and what dreams are you talking about?’ she interrupted, then stopped as Seb continued.
‘When you went to the loo your dad took me to one side. He told me that even from when you were little all you ever wanted to be was the world’s best heart surgeon.’
‘That was all they ever wanted me to be. Why would you listen to what my father says without discussing it with me?’
Seb stood up. ‘Maybe I will have that drink’. He went over to the bench and poured out two glasses of wine. Putting down the bottle, he looked across at her.
‘It got me thinking. At the conference John McClelland had told me about a chief of anaesthetics position coming up in Ballarat. When I went to the hospital that night, I told you that I’d spoken with Vince about Billy’s asthma.’
Lucinda nodded.
‘Well, he spelt it out for me. He said Billy needed a lot more stability. It just seemed all the signs were pointing against us. Then when Chris got back from the wedding he said that the prof had been blabbing. Lucinda, I’ve known since that day that Mr Felix was never coming back, that you were going to make at the very least Senior Consultant, and from the way the prof had been talking he was thinking of sending you to the UK. The hospital felt you were worth the investment, don’t you see? You’ll be a professor one day.’
‘But what’s that got to do with us?’
He slammed the glass down on the bench, exasperated.
‘Don’t be so naïve, Lucinda. It has everything to do with us. In a different place and time maybe we could work things out, survive the distance, work around each other’s schedules. But there’s Billy to think of. I can’t put him through that.’
‘Ah, yes,’ said Lucinda nastily. ‘As you said, I’m not exactly stepmum material.’
‘I never said that, Lucinda. They were your words, reme
mber?’
Lucinda swallowed. He was right. It had been her that had said that, but what was the difference? He had been about to finish things.
‘Like I said, Billy has to come first,’ Seb continued. ‘He already adored you. How could I let him get to know you, let him get to love you, knowing it was useless, that you’d go off to the UK, get on with your life. I couldn’t put him through that.’
‘So why are you here, then? It seems you’ve already decided I’m not up to the job,’ Lucinda said defensively.
‘Because I don’t think I can do this without you,’ came his honest reply. ‘I don’t think I can get through the next fifty years without you. Ann finally had a go at me. She told me that me and Billy were about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to us if I didn’t at least give you the option of coming with us. Look, Lucinda, when you said you weren’t up to being a stepmum…’
‘I was just saving face,’ Lucinda admitted. ‘I thought you were trying to end things.’
‘Hell, no,’ Seb rasped. ‘I was just trying to be realistic. I knew we needed to have a long talk.’ He took a long drink. ‘I’ve had one failed marriage because of my wife’s career, and I was terrified of making a mistake, yet with you I was sure things could be different, that we could somehow work something out. My God, I even considered giving up my work to let you carry on with yours. Have you any idea how that felt? The thought of giving up my career and having you supporting Billy and me! It goes against everything I’ve been brought up to believe, but if it meant keeping you… Doesn’t that show how desperate I was to make things work?
‘But when you said it wasn’t for you, that it wasn’t what you wanted, well, it just seemed pointless. The other stuff we could have worked out in time, but if you didn’t, as you said, want Billy…well, he’s not an optional item. You had to want both of us.’ He looked across at her, his eyes searching her face. ‘You really didn’t mean what you said?’ His voice was tentative at first, but she heard the surge of optimism as he spoke.
She shook her head ‘Not a word of it. I adore Billy and I love you,’ she gasped. ‘I always have.’
‘I have to take this job, Lucinda. I have to give Billy this chance.’
‘I know you do.’
‘And I know I’m mad even asking, I know there’s a million reasons why you can’t come with me, but I have to ask you. Lucinda, if you can’t come I’ll understand, and we’ll work something out.’
She gazed into Seb’s troubled eyes. Here he was, this beautiful, proud man, putting his son’s happiness before his own and in his own jumbled way telling her just how much he loved her, wanted her, needed her.
‘So you’re asking me to move to the country with you and Billy? To juggle the school runs and packed lunches…’
‘Together, we’d work it out together.’
A smile started to flicker across her face. The news she’d been so dreading telling him was now a pleasure.
‘There is one small problem—two, actually.’
Seb’s face had a pained dignity as he waited for her to deliver the reasons why she couldn’t come with him.
‘Billy’s going to have to get used to sharing me, and I hope that house you told me about has lots of bedrooms. We’re going to need them when the twins are born.’
‘The twins?’ Seb asked, his voice bewildered.
‘Our twins,’ she said softly. ‘They’re due in July.’
And as he looked at her glowing, radiant face, gradually realisation dawned and a smile crept across his weary, strained features. With an incredulous laugh he pulled her towards him, running a tender hand over her swollen, heavy breasts and down to her gently rounded stomach.
‘Hey, you really are,’ he said in wonder. ‘You really are.’
‘No, Seb,’ Lucinda whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. ‘We are.’
EPILOGUE
‘WHAT’S burning?’
‘Shh.’ Lucinda gave a pained look as Seb walked into the kitchen and, putting down his briefcase, gave her a long kiss.
‘Mum’s attempting to bake Billy a birthday cake,’ she said finally. ‘It’s her third go.’
‘Why doesn’t she just buy one?’
‘Because the local baker’s range didn’t stretch to robots,’ Lucinda said matter-of-factly.
Seb ruffled her hair as she pulled off the scarf she had been using to tie it back.
‘Any post?’
Lucinda handed him a couple of snapshots. ‘Ricky Stewart. Isn’t he gorgeous? Janine’s beside herself—doesn’t even mind the sleepless nights.’
Seb smiled as he looked at the photos. ‘He is a cute baby.’ He looked back at Lucinda. ‘You’ve been doing some painting?’
‘Just the fretwork on the veranda. I’m saving the big jobs for you. I’ll come up with you and get changed.’
‘Mum, watch the children,’ she called as she made her way up the stairs, with Seb following. ‘I’m just going to get out of these work clothes.’
Watching her peel off her paint-splattered dungarees, Seb felt weak in the knees with longing as he admired her full breasts encased in cream lace. Her body, always gorgeous, was softer now and more curvaceous despite Lucinda’s heroic but sporadic post-pregnancy dieting attempts.
‘Come here,’ he said huskily, pulling her towards him.
Lucinda, laughing, wriggled out of his embrace. ‘Mum’s downstairs.’
‘She won’t even notice we’re gone with the kids about. Have you told her yet?’
Lucinda nodded. The local GP had offered her a position at his practice. Very part time for now—alternate Saturday or Sunday mornings and one evening clinic a week. The hours would increase in later years as he wound down with a view to retirement. Lucinda had jumped at the chance. Though more fulfilled than she had ever been in her life, the chance to use her brain again, practising medicine, and still have heaps of time for the children had been accepted like a gift from the gods. But telling her mother had proved difficult. ‘She wasn’t too keen.’
Seb’s face sank. ‘I guess it is a big step down from consultant cardiothoracic surgeon to GP.’
‘No, silly.’ Lucinda threw a pillow at him. ‘She had the gall to tell me I should spend more time with the children. “They’re only young for five minutes, Lucinda, you should enjoy this precious time.”’ She mimicked her mother’s voice. ‘You’d think that she’d won the Mother of the Year award for raising me. I was tempted to point out that she’d barely delivered the placenta before she went back to work.’
‘Maybe she realises what she missed out on,’ Seb said gently. ‘She’s really changed, hasn’t she?’
‘Changed?’ Lucinda said incredulously. ‘I hardly recognise her.’
‘It doesn’t upset you?’
‘Not a scrap,’ she assured him. ‘I’m delighted, even if it is over thirty years late.’
Seb’s voice was suddenly serious. ‘I know what you’ve given up.’
‘Seb, we’ve been over this. I’ve never been happier.’
‘But still…’
She silenced his doubts with a kiss, and with her soft, fragrant skin pressing against him his uncertainties slowly vanished.
‘Look at everything I’ve gained,’ she whispered into his ear. ‘You, Billy, Molly and Harry, even Mum.’ She kissed him again, deeply this time, until all that was on Seb’s mind was how quickly they could get the children and mother-in-law off to bed.
‘Someone’s coming,’ he gasped, pulling away.
Delighted at the effect she had on him, Lucinda laughingly pulled on her bathrobe as Billy entered the bedroom.
‘Nanna’s taking us to the shop. We need some silver sugar balls for the robot cake’s buttons.’
Seb winked at Lucinda. Maybe they wouldn’t have to wait till bedtime after all.
‘Does she really have to go back to Queensland on Friday?’ Billy asked, his big eyes filling with tears.
Seb pulled Billy onto his knee.
‘She’ll come again soon,’ he said comfortingly.
‘Honest?’ sniffed Billy.
Seb rolled his eyes but his voice was light and Lucinda knew he was only teasing her.
‘Oh, you can count on it, sport, you can count on it.’
ISBN: 978-1-4268-7727-8
DR. CARLISLE’S CHILD
First North American Publication 2003.
Copyright © 2001 by Carol Marinelli.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
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Dr. Carlisle's Child Page 17
