by Beth Rinyu
Dailan called his dad when we finished up with breakfast. He and Ryan had just gotten done fishing. We picked up Ryan and headed to the zoo. Tomorrow was Ryan’s actual birthday, and since he was going to be in school all day, he got to pick what he wanted to do today. He chose the zoo. I loved watching Ella’s excitement as she took in all of the animals. She squealed with laughter over the monkeys, screeching as loud as she could to try and get them to notice her. I sat down on the bench with Ella while Dailan and Ryan went into the reptile house. I pushed her back and forth in her stroller. I could tell she was getting sleepy and was hoping that she would take a nap so she didn’t turn into her screamin’ Mee-Mee self like she always did when she was tired. Ryan came running out of the reptile house with a smile plastered on his face. “Did you see a lot of icky snakes?” I asked, crinkling my nose. He nodded.
“Hey, you see that lady over there?” He pointed to a woman who that was just walking out of the reptile house.
“Yeah.”
“She thought that Uncle D was my dad.”
“Really?” I smiled over his excitement.
“Hey, Ryan, did you break the news to her yet about the snake that you want?” Dalian asked.
I shook my head. “No snakes! Actually, he was more excited over that lady who thought that you were his dad.” I smiled.
Dailan looked down at Ryan and smiled before messing up his hair.
We had a great afternoon and, by the time we got home and ate dinner, Ryan was exhausted. I got Ella ready for bed, got my stuff together for work, and headed downstairs. Ryan and Dailan were sound asleep on the couch as some gross zombie movie blasted on the television. I couldn’t stop staring at the two of them. I thought back to earlier in the day and the excitement on Ryan’s face over someone thinking that Dailan was his dad. The two of them shared a bond that was so much deeper. I looked at Ryan, watching every breath he took. I couldn’t believe that ten years had passed already. I kissed him softly on the cheek and caressed his face. For every tear that I had shed, every heartache that I endured; this sweet, little sleeping boy that I was staring at was worth every bit of it.
Chapter 18
Nicole
The past...
It was my eighteenth birthday. I was officially an adult. At seven months pregnant, I surprisingly still only had a tiny bump. Thankfully, I was still able to squeeze into my regular clothes, but I knew in a few more weeks, I wouldn’t be. They were just starting to become a little snug. I would smile when I would rub my hand over my tummy. I didn’t feel so alone, knowing that there was a life growing inside of me. I grabbed my books and coat, and walked downstairs to wait for Donna. “Happy birthday, Nic,” Justin said as he took a sip of his orange juice.
“Thanks.” I smiled.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” My mom handed me a card and kissed me on the cheek. She looked over at my dad and cleared her throat.
He finally looked up from his newspaper. “Happy birthday,” he mumbled, immediately putting his head back down.
My sister came walking down the stairs, not even acknowledging me. “You guys do know that the final payment on the banquet facility is due by the end of this week?”
“Yes, Renee, we know,” my mother said in a dismissive tone.
My father slammed his coffee cup down on the table, causing both me and my brother to jump. “Why don’t you ask your sister to use her birthday money to pay for it!” I felt a stabbing pain in my chest and my eyes began to fill up with tears.
“Nick!” my mom yelled as he grabbed his car keys and slammed the front door behind him.
“Here.” I handed the card to my mother.
“Nicole, stop. This is your birthday present.”
She tried handing it back to me. “I don’t want it. I don’t want anything from you guys. I told you I wouldn’t ask you for anything and I meant it.”
“Nicole-”
I went outside to wait for Donna. I sat on the front porch, buried my face into knees, and began to sob. I heard the front door opening behind me and prayed that it wasn’t my mother. I felt an arm wrap around me and was thankful to hear Justin’s voice. I raised my head and wiped away a tear. “I know you don’t want anything from them, but will you take this from me?” he said as he handed me a card. I smiled as I opened it. It was a humorous big sister card that was fitting for our relationship. Little did he know, but that card meant more to me than anything.
“Thank you so much, Justin.” I pulled him to me and hugged him tightly, just as the baby kicked. I took his hand and placed it on my belly. “Come on, baby, move again.” I moved Justin’s hand around and felt another good sharp kick.
“Wow, that was awesome!” Justin said, grinning from ear to ear.
Thankfully, I had pulled it together by the time Donna pulled in the driveway. “Happy Birthday, best buddy!” She handed me two cards as Justin and I got into her car.
“Wow, two cards!” I smiled.
“The other one is from my mom.”
“Oh, how sweet!” Donna’s mother was the best. She was a single mom and I envied that sisterly relationship that she and Donna had. She had always been so nice to me, especially now when nice people were few and far between.
“So, what did you get for you birthday?” Donna asked.
“Well, I got an awesome card from my awesome brother.” I turned around and looked at Justin in the back seat and smiled.
“And?” Donna asked.
“That’s it. That’s all that matters, anyway.”
Donna looked at me sadly and shook her head.
I shook my head back. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, especially not in front of Justin. I didn’t want him to feel like he was being put in the middle. He had to listen to enough crap over me at home.
We pulled into the school parking lot. Justin got out of the car and immediately ran over to a few of his friends. “Well, if they’re not going to do anything for you for your birthday, then come over my house tonight and we’ll have pizza or something.” Donna said, once Justin was out of earshot.
“Oh, thank you so much, Donna. But I have a doctor’s appointment after school and then Tisha is taking me out to dinner for my birthday.”
“Okay, are you sure?” Donna asked.
“Positive!”
“Well, then, I will buy you lunch in our delicious cafeteria,” she joked.
“Sounds perfect!”
Donna and I had first period Spanish class together, along with Rachel Wiser. We took our seats and waited for our teacher, Mrs. Skylar, or Senora Skylar, as she made us call her, to get her act together. She was such a scatterbrain. It amazed me how she could even be a teacher. My dream was to become a teacher and I was thrilled when I had gotten accepted into my top choice for college. But the excitement was fleeting; I knew that there was no way in hell that my dad would help me pay for it now. I would either have to bury myself in student loans and try my best to do it on my own or take a year off and work my butt off and save.
Half of the class was paying attention when Mrs. Skylar finally began to speak. “Oh, and we have a birthday today. Feliz Cumpleaños, Senorita Morgan.”
"What, did you get a pack of diapers?" Rachel shouted from the back of the classroom, causing a bunch of the kids to laugh. "Rachel, that is enough!" Mrs. Skylar shouted.
Donna turned around and shot Rachel a dirty look while mouthing the word "bitch" to her.
I tried my best to concentrate, but I was failing miserably. I was so grateful when the classroom phone rang. That would throw Mrs. Skylar off for a good five minutes.
She hung up the phone. "Nicole, Mrs. Daniels would like to see you.” Mrs. Daniels was the guidance counselor. I hadn't a clue what she wanted me for and was almost afraid to find out. I gathered my books and walked out the door, hearing Rachel and her friends snickering behind my back.
I walked into the main office and the secretary immediately took me back to Mrs. Daniels’ office. Mrs. Daniels w
as an older woman, near retirement. She and I had gotten to know each other quite well over the past few months.
“Nicole, have a seat,” she said as she finished typing something on her computer.
I sat down and took a deep breath; even though I felt comfortable with her, I was still feeling a little anxious, not knowing exactly what she needed me for. “Nicole, each year I am asked to pick two seniors for the outstanding senior scholarship. You have absolutely amazed me with the way that you have maintained your outstanding GPA with everything going on. So I am happy to say that that you are one of the recipients of a forty thousand dollar scholarship. That will pay for a good chunk of your tuition, and then you can apply for financial aid and student loans for the rest.”
“Oh my God! This is awesome!” I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Daniels!”
“No need to be thanking me, Nicole. You earned that. I am so impressed with the way you have been handling this whole situation these past months. You have exemplified the meaning of strength and character. You are going to make a great teacher someday.”
***
I went through the rest of my day with a smile. This was the best birthday present I could have gotten. I didn't have to depend on my parents for anything now. I had it all figured out; I would get a job over the summer and work my butt off to save up for car insurance and I would be out of their way. Things were finally starting look up. I jumped in Tisha's car, ready to gush the news to her. "Well, someone looks like they’re having a good birthday."
"Guess who got a forty thousand dollar scholarship?”
"Nicole, that is wonderful news! I am so proud of you."
"Next year this time, my life will be back to normal, Tisha."
"Yes, it will, baby girl." She smiled
I was suddenly overtaken with by sadness. "What's wrong?” Tisha asked, as if she was reading my thoughts.
I looked down and gently rubbed my belly. "He won't be mine anymore. He'll belong to someone else."
She took my hand. "Yes, he will. But he will be with two people who will love him very much and be able to offer him the world."
I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together before nodding.
"I'm doing the right thing, right, Tisha?"
"Yes, baby, you are." She rubbed my hand gently. "Now we got lots to celebrate. Let’s get this doctor's appointment over with so we can go eat."
We finished up with dinner and Tisha dropped me off at home. I heard the TV blasting from the living room. I figured that my parents were in there. But I didn't bother to look. I went straight up to my room, like I normally did. The less I saw them, the less they could be reminded of how much I had disappointed them. I sat on my bed and pulled out my history book to get started on my homework. I propped my pillows against the wall and placed my book on my belly as I finished sipping on my milkshake from dinner. I felt like I had flying saucers in my stomach with the way the baby was flipping around. I removed my book and ran my hand over my stomach.
"Hey, you, did you like that milkshake too? There are so many things that I’m never going to know about you, like what your favorite ice cream is going to be or what color hair you’re going to have. You won’t even have known that I existed. But I will always remember you and I will love you forever. I promise that I will have a milkshake every year on your birthday and maybe when you get a little older, you’ll be having one too at the same exact time.” The tears streamed down my face. “This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, baby, but I’m doing it because I love you and want you to have the best life ever.” I kissed my hand and placed it on my belly. “You will always be a very special part of me.”
Chapter 19
Dailan
I sat in my office, going over all of the material for this case. It didn’t pay to be off on the weekends because now I just had triple the work to catch up on. I heard a light knock on my door. “Come in,” I said, not even looking up.
“Hey, Dailan, here’s the rest of the files that you needed.” I briefly lifted my head to see Rachel standing in front of my desk with a handful of files.
“Just put them right there,” I said pointing to the chair. I put my head back down and continued to go through the papers.
She was almost to the door when she turned around. “Dailan?” I lifted my head up to acknowledge her. “Look, I don’t know what Nicole may have told you –”
I stopped her right there. “Nicole tells me everything.”
“Well, that was a really long time ago and I didn’t want you to form a low opinion of me because of it.”
“My personal opinion of you and the things that you did to my wife have nothing to do with work. Just do your job like you’re supposed to and we won’t have a problem.”
“Okay, fine. I just don’t want us to have an uncomfortable working relationship, just because she hates me.”
“And she should.” Her eyes widened in surprise. If she was looking to me to feel sorry for her and to try to smooth things over, she had come to the wrong person. She stood there silently, staring at me. “Could you shut my door on your way out?”
“Yeah, sure,” she said, breaking herself free from her trance before walking out.
I was totally engrossed in my files when my office door flew open. “Yo, D, are we going to lunch?” Paul, another lawyer with the company asked. He sat down on the chair opposite my desk. I looked at the clock. I couldn’t believe it was already one.
“I can’t. I still got the rest of these files to go through.”
“Man, you are insane for not settling on this one. Is it worth busting your ass off like this?”
I shook my head and smiled. “You know I never settle.”
“Yeah, well this whole company’s fate is resting on your shoulders, buddy!” He looked out my door and smiled. “At least you got some eye candy to look at while you’re working,” he said as he jerked his head toward Rachel.
I quickly looked up at Rachel sitting at her desk. Truthfully, I didn’t find her attractive at all. Even if she and Nicole didn’t have a past, she was so not my type. “Not my type,” I said.
“Dude, just because you’re married now doesn’t mean you can’t look. A few years ago, you would have already been sleeping with her.”
“No, I wouldn’t have. I don’t like blondes. Plus, I don’t need to look. I have the most beautiful girl in the world who gives me everything I need.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ll see if you’re saying that twenty years from now. Me and my wife can’t stand each other, but with a mortgage, a kid in college, and one on the way to college in a few years, we have no choice.”
“Real nice, Paul.”
“Hey, it’s the truth. She does her thing and I do mine.”
“Well, me and Nicole will never be like that.”
“Okay, we’ll see about that,” he said as he got up from the chair. “I’ll bring you back something to eat; you need to keep up your energy. My future is resting in your hands.”
I picked up our wedding picture from my desk and looked at it. I really did have the most beautiful girl in the world. The day that I married her and the day my daughter was born were the happiest days of my life. I had known that I wanted to marry her right away. Neither one of us wanted to wait. She was going to Ireland with me to meet my mother for the first time, so we agreed that we would get married there. Nicole didn’t want a big wedding and neither did I. I smiled just thinking about that day and how Nicole had taken me totally off guard when she recited her own vows.
“Well, Dailan O’Maley, I never thought that I would be standing here exchanging vows with you, but here I am. You drive me crazy sometimes, seriously crazy, to the point that I want to smack you crazy. But you are like no other man that I have known. You showed me how to open my heart and not be afraid to love. I know you don’t believe in fate, but I do and I truly believe that you and I were meant to be. You have not only giv
en me your love, you gave me my son, and I will be forever grateful to you for that. Because if it weren’t for your flirtatiousness determination, your obnoxious perseverance and that crooked little smile, I might have never known who Ryan really was. We’ve been through a lot in these past few months, and I’m not living in a fantasy world, thinking that we won’t ever be going through more. Because that’s what marriage is all about; facing the good times and the bad, together. I promise that I will always be there for you, even on those days when you are driving me totally nuts. Because at the end of the day, I know that the love that we have and the relationship that we share is like no other. I love you so much, Dailan, and there is no place on earth that I would rather be at this very moment, than right here, becoming your wife.”
I stared at the picture for a little longer; she seriously was the most beautiful bride. I never thought that I would love a woman as much as I loved her. I didn’t think it was possible to love her any more, but just hearing about everything that she had gone through when she was younger proved that theory wrong. She had experienced so much hurt just to give others happiness. I smiled, just thinking about the joy on my brother’s face, the first time he held Ryan and it was all because of Nicole and her selflessness. I was so deep in thought that I jumped when my office phone began to ring I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Debbie.
“What’s up, Debbie?”
She began to talk in a whisper. “Dailan, there’s some man here who refuses to leave until he talks to you. I told him that you weren’t available, but he’s being a real jerk.”
“Who is he?”
“I don’t know. He refuses to give me his name. He said that it’s regarding Ryan.”
That fuckhead actually had the nerve to show up here. “Send him back.” I needed to calm myself down in the short time that it would take him to reach my office. I seriously wanted to punch him right in the face. Debbie had an uneasy look on her face as she led him into my office. “Shut my door, Debbie.”
