by Beth Rinyu
"And it will be so nice to not have to look at your ugly face anymore for me, Rachel."
Her jaw dropped as she removed her arms from Jonathan's neck. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Don't be pissed at me, Nicole, just because I'm dating the guy that you claim to be your baby daddy, when we all know he's not, right, Jonathan?"
Jonathan looked at me and then put his head down. "No, I never even slept with her," he whispered.
"You're right; we never slept together. It was more like two minutes of Hell. Go ahead and deny it, because I don't want my baby associated with someone like you in any way at all."
"Ha, she's delusional." Rachel laughed. "Just because you’re a slut that doesn't know about birth control, don't try and ruin everyone else's life."
"You know what, Rachel, you are the only slut that I see standing here." I turned around to find Jason Balint standing right behind me. Jason and I had been friends since freshman year. We had several classes together this year and he was always so nice to me, which was a rarity these days.
"Oh, screw you, Jason. Don't hate because you could never have me," Rachel said.
"I wouldn't want someone like you. You and Jonathan are perfect. You’re both assholes. You belong together."
"Fuck you, dude. You want to take this outside?" Jonathan said.
"No problem, but are your mommy and daddy going to be out there for you to run behind."
Jonathan pushed Jason into the locker. Just as punches were about to be thrown, Mr. Haskell came out of his classroom to break it up. "Mr. Caldwell, what are you doing here? You're no longer a student here."
"He came to pick me up and he was subjected to Jason starting crap with him,” Rachel whined. I knew that Mr. Haskell wasn't falling for it. Jason never caused problems in school; he was well liked by everyone. Everyone knew that Rachel was the troublemaker.
"Well, regardless, Jonathan shouldn't be coming into this school and putting his hands on anyone."
"Whatever!" Rachel shouted as she slammed her locker door shut. "I can't wait to get out of this fuckin' stupid ass school." Her voice carried as she and Jonathan walked away.
"Hey, thanks, Jason. But I had it covered with those two jerks."
"I know you did, but I'm sick of watching her treat you the way she has these past few months."
I smiled. "Oh, shoot!" I said as I looked out the door and saw the buses pulling out of the parking lot.
"I can give you a ride home," Jason said.
"Hey, thanks!" He took my backpack from me and we headed out the door to his car.
We pulled up to my house and I thanked him again for coming to my rescue. For the first time in four years, I realized just how cute he was. His big brown eyes were comforting to look into. I had my hand on the door handle and was about to exit.
"Hey, Nicole?"
"Yeah."
"Friday is prom, you know."
"Yeah, I know," I answered sadly.
"Well, I was thinking, since neither of us are going, would you want to have dinner with me instead?"
"Why aren't you going?" I asked.
"Well, Becky Carver turned me down."
"What! Well, that's her loss," I said.
He shrugged his shoulders. "So, what do you say?"
"You really want to take my fat butt out to dinner?" I asked.
"Yeah, I do." He smiled.
"Okay, that sounds great!"
We finalized our plans and I headed inside. My sister was whining to my mother about her wedding dress when I walked in. I made a beeline for the steps like always when I entered my house. "Nicole," my mother shouted cutting my sister off.
I took a deep breath and turned around, heading back into the kitchen. "Yeah?"
"How was your last day?"
"Fine."
"Well, when is the tutoring going to start?" she asked in effort to make conversation, which was a rarity between me and my parents lately. My sister rolled her eyes and went storming up the steps as if she were annoyed that the conversation didn't revolve around her anymore.
"Monday," I answered.
She put a plateful of chocolate chip cookies on the table and motioned for me to sit down. "Nicole, I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you and your strength and determination. I know that these past few months haven't been easy for you. Your brother told me how that Rachel Wiser acts toward you in school and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that same behavior at home by your own father and sister." I nodded, not knowing what to say. "You know that you haven't faced that hardest part yet, right?"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Giving up your baby."
I felt a stabbing pain in my heart, just thinking about it. "I know." I tried playing it off coolly.
"No, Nicole. You don't know. You're not going to know until the moment that baby is born." I tried my hardest to fight back the tears. My mother placed her hands in mine. "Listen to me. If you decide that you can't do it, I will be here for you. I have some extra money set aside that I've been saving for years. Your father doesn't know anything about it. If you can't bring yourself do it, when the time comes, we can get an apartment, and I will help you raise him." I couldn't believe what I was hearing my mother say. She was actually willing to leave my dad and her home to help me raise my baby. Although I appreciated her finally offering me some support, I knew that I had a plan in place and I wasn't going to deviate from it. My baby was going to the best home possible and was going to be given things that I would never be able to offer him.
"I appreciate that, Mom, but I know in my heart what will be right for my baby and as hard it's going to be for me to give him up, I need to put him first. Tisha said that he's going to a wonderful family. I trust her judgment more than anyone’s.
Tears began to form in my mother's eyes. "Okay, but if you change your mind, the offer will always stand."
"Thanks, Mom."
After dinner, I escaped back to the refuge of my bedroom. I sat on my bed, organizing my papers in my folders so I would be all prepared for my tutoring on Monday. I stood up and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. I turned sideways and lifted my shirt up to examine the bump in my belly. “You’re in there, baby boy, and even though we can’t see each other, I can feel you. I love you so much,” I whispered.
I quickly pulled my shirt down and pulled myself together when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in."
My brother was standing in the doorway with two glasses of juice in his hand, a bag of Doritos under his arm, and a DVD in his mouth.
"What are you doing, crazy boy?" I laughed.
"Well, Renee is downstairs having a another meltdown about her wedding, so I figured if I bought you some junk food that maybe you would let me watch this horror movie in your room."
"Sure," I said.
He set the glasses down on the nightstand and popped the DVD in. "Are you gonna watch with me?” he asked.
"Yeah, as long it’s not one of those gruesome ones that you like."
I cleared all of my papers off my bed along with my stuffed animals. "Hey, it's Ralphie," my brother said as he picked up the little plaid elephant that was once his and he had given to me.
"Yup, Ralphie gets a special place on the bed because he's my favorite." I left him on the bed, throwing all of the other animals on the floor. I propped the pillows up against the wall and my brother and I sat on the bed and watched the movie. I found myself jumping several times throughout the movie while my brother laughed at my edginess. I picked up Ralphie and buried my face into him to hide my eyes during a part that was really freaking me out.
"Hey, Justin?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you be upset if I gave Ralphie to my baby?" He looked at me strangely. "I mean, if I give him to Tisha to give to my baby’s new parents."
"Well, Ralphie is a very special guy," my brother joked. "But since he would be going to my nephew, I would be happy to let you hand him down."
"Then he'll always have a piece of us - his mom and his uncle," I said as I leaned my head on my brother's shoulder and rubbed my fluttering belly.
***
Jason picked me up on Friday and we headed to Donna's before going to dinner so I could see her in her prom dress. She was going with a “just friends” date. I snapped about a million pictures before they hopped into the limo and drove away. I was a little envious, wishing that I could be attending as well. This was just another reminder of how much my life had changed. Just a year ago, I had a ton of friends and had attended every social function under the sun. Now, I could count the number of friends that I had on one hand and I was missing out on my senior prom; the event that I had dreamed about since my freshman year. I sighed deeply as I got into Jason's car and we headed to my favorite burger restaurant.
We sat down and placed our order. I told Jason all about my scholarship and how excited I was to be going to college. Jason was super smart and headed to Stanford University in the fall to begin his pre-med studies. How I wished that I could travel across the country and escape all the painful memories that this place held to attend college. I was having a great time. Jason didn’t look at me like “the pregnant girl.” He viewed me the same way that my brother and Donna had, just as plain old Nicole Morgan.
After dinner, we took a walk along the bay. "You better watch it, Jason, or Rachel will be telling everyone that you’re the father of my baby next." I laughed.
"Well, I would be proud to have that title," he said, taking me a little off guard. The smile on my face had now turned a little more serious. "You know I’ve had a mad crush on you since freshman year," he said.
"No, I didn't know that," I said.
"Well, I think you're pretty great."
"Hey, thanks and you're not so bad yourself," I said, trying to lighten the mood.
"How did you manage all year?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"With Rachel and Jonathan and the way everyone else treated you?"
"Well, along with my growing belly, I grew some pretty thick skin. I realize that those people mean nothing in the grand scheme of things."
"Well, I think you’re pretty amazing."
"Thanks," I whispered.
We stopped walking and he took my hand in his. “Can I just do something that I've been dying to do from the first day that I saw you in Mrs. Gomez's algebra class?" He leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips.
"You will always be my ‘what if’, Nicole."
I smiled. "Well, I am honored, Jason." He took my hand in his and we began to walk again. If only I had known how Jason felt from the beginning, then maybe things could have been a lot different right now. But for the moment, as we walked along the moonlit beach, I was just thankful for his friendship.
Chapter 40
Dailan
I walked out of my hotel room to head off to the airport. I couldn't find my phone and was hoping that I had left it down at the bar last night. I was just closing the door to my room when Paul came walking out of his.
"Oh man, did I get lucky last night. That Rachel; she's something else.” I just shook my head. He was just about to go into explicit detail about their night together when I cut him off.
"You know what, I really don't care. I need to try and find my phone before I leave for the airport."
"Oh, it's in my room. Rachel picked it up for you. You left in on the bar last night. Let me go and get it. I would invite you in, but Rachel is still sleeping after being up all night."
"Yeah, that's okay. Just get me my phone."
He went back in his room and came back out within a matter of seconds. "Thanks," I said as I took the phone from his hands. I got in the elevator and dialed Nicole's cell. It went right to her voicemail. I hung up and called her on the home phone. I was surprised when her mother answered this early in the morning.
"Oh, hey, Dailan, Nicole just called. The baby is okay; her fever went down and she's coming home in a few hours."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Didn't Nicole call you? She had to rush Ella to the ER last night. She was running an ungodly temperature."
"No, she didn't." What the fuck, Nicole?
"Well, maybe she just didn't want you to worry with being so far away. All is well now, so that's all the matters."
I was pissed when I hung up the phone. I doubled checked my voice mail and text messages, but there was nothing. I couldn't believe Nicole didn't even bother to call me and let me know. I dialed her cell phone again. It went straight to voicemail, but unlike last time, this time I was leaving a message.
"What the fuck, Nicole, my daughter is in the hospital and you can't even call me and let me know. Call me back as soon as you get this message." I didn't know what the hell her problem was lately. Actually, I did know, but there was nothing more that I could do to reassure her that I had no interest in Rachel. I walked out of the hotel and headed to the airport, knowing I needed to have a serious talk with Nicole so these stupid games she was playing would finally stop.
Chapter 41
Nicole
Ella and I walked out of the hospital, into the bright morning sunlight. She was in much better spirits than when we had arrived. I put her in her car seat and plugged my phone, which was completely dead, into my car charger.
"Let's go home, baby," I said as I began to back out. My phone began to beep once the battery started getting a little juice to it. I looked down at my phone to find a voicemail notification from Dailan. I pulled back into the parking spot and hit the password for my voicemail. My jaw dropped when I listened to his message and the arrogant tone of his voice. Was he freakin’ kidding me? The mature side of me was telling me just to deal with him face to face when he got home. Unfortunately, the immature, angry, wanting-to-rip-his-eyes-out side of me took over instead. My blood was boiling as I waited for him to answer the phone. Voicemail, of course; when does he ever answer his phone? My heart was beating hard as I waited for the beep. "You have some nerve! I DID call you last night and Rachel told me you were too busy with her. I hope she was worth it, Dailan, because I am done." I was shaking when I hung up the phone and I couldn't stop the tears. Now that I knew Ella was okay, the reality was starting to sink in about Dailan and Rachel, and it hurt like hell.
I pulled it together and drove home, stopping off at the pharmacy along the way to have Ella's prescriptions filled. Ryan was sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast with my mother when I walked in.
My mother got up and took Ella from my arms. "Oh, there's that pretty smile," she said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "She still feels a little warm, but much cooler than last night."
"Yeah, she's due for her next antibiotic in an hour."
"Well, Mr. Ryan here had four pieces of French toast, so his belly should be full. Your sister is still here and your dad wants to take all the kids crabbing, so do you mind if Ryan comes home with me so they can go?"
"Sure," I answered.
Ryan jumped up from the table to go get ready. "You should go lie down when you put her down for a nap; you look exhausted. Oh, and Kitty called. I assured her that Ella was okay, but she wants you to call her."
After my mom and Ryan left, I sat down on the couch and cuddled with Ella. She was a lot clingier when she wasn't feeling well, so she didn't put up a fight. I thought back to just a year ago when I was still pregnant with her. Dailan and are were so happy and Rachel was just a bad memory. How could my life have gotten so screwed up in just a matter of months? Ella fell asleep in my arms. I held her for a while longer and just watched her sleep before carrying her up to her crib. I took a quick shower and finally decided to call Kitty back.
"Nicole, how's my little baby doing?" Kitty asked with concern. I gave her a complete update on Ella. “And Dailan wasn't home for all this?” she asked.
I felt a lump in my throat at the mention of his name. "No, he wasn't." My voice cracked with emotion. Kitt
y picked up on it right away.
"Oh, Nicole is everything okay between you two?"
I took a deep breath. "No, it's not." I began to cry. I spilled my guts and told her everything.
"What the hell is wrong with him? Well, I will give him a good talkin’ to when I hear from him again."
"No, please don't.” The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was ratting him out to his mother.
"Well, you better give him hell when he gets home. He should have just settled on that case, instead of working all these late hours with loose women."
"Did he tell you they offered him a settlement, Kitty?"
She took a deep breath as if she was unsure of herself. "Yes, he didn't want you to know. But I don't care, I'm so angry with him right now. Apparently, this case he's working on has something to do with Ryan's natural father and his family. He was offered some kind of settlement, but he refused because he wanted to win it for you and Ryan." I was so confused. Why would Dailan have kept that from me? Apparently, there were a lot of things Dailan seemed to be hiding from me. Kitty and I said our goodbyes and I went to lie down. I fell into a deep sleep and was awakened by Dailan when he walked into the bedroom. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I couldn't even look at him. I was beyond disgusted.
"Okay, let's hear what the fuck I'm getting accused of now?"
I stood up and whisked past him. I wasn’t awake enough to deal with this right now. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward him. “Get off of me!” I shouted.
“No, Nicole. Why the hell are you accusing me of sleeping with Rachel?”
“Um, I don’t know, Dailan. Could it be because she answered your phone when I called you last night and said that you were busy with her, before hanging up on me!”
