by Beth Rinyu
“Oh, why?”
“We just were going in two different directions. Better that we found out before than end up divorced.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know all about that.”
“What do you mean?”
I told him all about the past few months, how Jonathan and Rachel both made an appearance back in my life and my rocky relationship with Dailan.
“Well, it sounds like you two love each other enough to work it out.”
I sighed. “I sure hope so.”
We finished up with eating and Jason walked me to my car. “Well, I had a great time tonight,” I said.
He smiled. “Me too, Nicole. You are just as beautiful as ever, inside and out.”
“Thanks, and you are just as sweet as I remember.”
He gave me a quick hug and a light kiss on the cheek. “Well, I would say hopefully I’ll see you around, but then that would require one of your kids being sick.”
I laughed. “No, but we definitely need to get together again soon. Next time, hopefully, Donna can be here the entire time.”
“That sounds great. You have my number; just let me know.”
“Okay.”
He closed the car door for me as I got in and I watched him walk away. He was one of the few good memories that I had from long ago.
I arrived home a little after ten. Ella was already in bed and Ryan was on the couch sleeping. Dailan was in the kitchen on his laptop, working.
“Hey, was everything okay?” I asked as I placed my purse down on the kitchen chair.
“Yeah, it was fine.” He was so engrossed by whatever he was looking at on his laptop that he didn’t even look up at me. I went in the cabinet and took out two Tylenols to try and halt the headache that was just beginning to form. I stared out the kitchen window while I drank my glass of water and swallowed them down.
“So, who were you with?” Dailan asked.
I was glad that I had my back toward him so he couldn’t see the expression on my face. He had taken me totally off guard with that question. “Donna.”
“Bullshit, because Donna called here an hour ago and left you a message on the answering machine.”
I finally turned around and faced him. “I went out to dinner with Donna and Jason. Donna had to leave because Michael got called into work.”
“Who the fuck is Jason?”
“He’s a friend of ours from high school. What the hell are you freaking interrogating me for?” He just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Oh, what are you trying to say, that I’m cheating on you with him?”
“I don’t know. By the look on your face, it sure does look like you have something to hide.”
“You are unbelievable, you know that? I have nothing to hide!”
He stared at me, almost waiting for me to look away first, but I wouldn’t. I stared right back at him. I didn’t have any reason to feel guilty. “How does it feel to be accused of something that you know you’re not doing, Nicole? It’s not fun, is it?” He closed his laptop and gathered all of his papers.
“Oh, don’t even compare this to Rachel! She’s a vindictive bitch who will do anything to get to me.”
“Yeah, well, maybe she is, but the difference is, I trust you around other guys. You have no trust in me with anything!”
“Yes, I do.”
He completely ignored me and continued to pack up his laptop. “Damn it, Dailan, quit ignoring me. That’s your answer to everything: just ignore it or run away.”
“I’m not ignoring you, Nicole. I’m just not going to get into with you tonight. I’m too fuckin’ tired to play your stupid head games tonight.”
“My head games? Oh, I’m sorry if you think discussing our marriage is playing head games.”
He looked at me and shook his head. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Nicole.” He got up and started to walk away. I pulled him by the arm and did what I had been dying to do since the day that he left. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. He kissed me back just as eagerly and then stopped himself. “I have to go. I still have two hours’ worth of work to do before I go to bed.” His rejection stung and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I remained in the kitchen until I heard the front door close. I shook my head and wiped away a tear that had finally escaped my eye. I took a deep breath, thinking about what a pattern this was becoming - Dalian walking out the door and tears falling from my eyes.
Chapter 49
Nicole
I planned a small party for Ella with just my family and Dailan’s dad and stepmother. I really didn’t want to do anything. These past few weeks without Dailan had been hell and I felt us growing further and further apart. I triple checked with him to make sure that tomorrow would be good for him with Ella’s party and he assured me that it was. The judge was hearing the case in a few weeks, so he had been even more absent than usual. Ryan was taking it hard and no matter how much I tried to make up for Dalian’s absence in his life, I couldn’t. I had gotten to the point where I only spoke to him when necessary. When he would call, Ryan would answer my phone, and when he would come to see them, I would make myself scarce. He had made me feel so rejected, ever since that night he had walked out the door, leaving me crying as if it were no big deal. I wanted and needed him so badly that night. I needed him to take me in his arms and tell me we were going to be okay, that he loved me, and mostly I wanted him to make love to me, but he didn’t. Instead, he just brushed off my kiss like it was nothing to him. Had he grown to hate me so much that he didn’t even want to have sex with me anymore? I tried to put away the other thought that was going through my mind - was he having sex with someone else?
I found myself looking forward to my “How’s your day going?” texts that I would receive from Jason on a daily basis since the night we had gone out to dinner. He seemed to be more attentive than my own husband was these days.
I had just gotten done at the doctor’s for my yearly GYN exam and was feeling even lower than usual because she had found a lump on my breast. She assured me that it was probably nothing, but wanted me to have a mammogram done to be double sure. I got into my car and pulled my phone from my purse. I looked at the text that had just come through from Jason:
How’s everything?
Could be better, I responded back.
Free for coffee?
I looked at my watch. Ryan and Ella were at my mom’s and I had to get some last minute things for Ella’s party tomorrow, but I could squeeze him in for twenty minutes, especially if it would help take my mind off my life.
I texted him back, settling on a place to meet. I was at the traffic light, getting ready to turn into the parking lot, when I looked down at my ringing phone to find that it was Dailan calling me.
“Yeah,” I answered, sounding somewhat bothered.
“What time are you having this party tomorrow?”
“Two o’clock.”
“Ah, shit.”
“If you can’t make it, then don’t come! After all, it is just your daughter’s first birthday.”
“Did I say I wasn’t going, Nicole? Stop turning everything into a goddamn fight. I just asked what time because I have to meet with –”
“You know what? I don’t really care who you have to meet with or anything about this stupid ass case. It’s at two o’clock. If you can make it, then great. If not, then, oh well.” I ended the call and threw my phone into my purse. I couldn’t believe that he was even toying with the idea of not showing up after I had specifically asked him what day and time would work best for him.
I did my best to forget his phone call and shake off the anger as I walked into the quaint, overpriced coffee shop at which we had agreed to meet. Jason was standing in the doorway, waiting for me. We placed our order and sat down.
I smiled and took a sip of my coffee. "Somehow, coffee seems to make everything better," I joked.
"Yes, it does," Jason replied. “So, would you like to unload? I’m a good listener,”
he said.
I bit my lip, wondering if I should divulge all of my problems to him and, before I knew it, the words were just spewing from my mouth, including my little scare at the doctor’s this morning.
“Aren’t you sorry that you asked now?” I laughed.
He laughed back. “Not at all. Well, that’s not my specialty, but I’m sure it’s nothing. You’re young and there’s no history of breast cancer in your family, right?” I shook my head. “I’m sure you’re fine. Just make sure that you get that mammogram.”
“Yeah, I am. Thanks for inviting me; I needed this to take my mind off of things. It's weird, but you’re the only one that I feel comfortable enough to talk to about this. I haven't told anyone about Dailan and me."
"Why not?"
"Because I feel like a failure. I feel like I couldn't make my marriage work. It’s only two years and my husband hates me."
"Nicole, I'm sure he doesn't hate you. People deal with things differently." I shrugged my shoulders and took a bite of my muffin. "He'd be a fool not to realize what he has."
"Thanks," I whispered.
"Why was our timing never right?"
"What?" I asked in confusion.
"You and me. If we had reconnected a few years ago, maybe things would have been different."
"Oh, Jason, trust me, it wouldn't have been. I was a complete mess with relationships before I met Dailan. He helped me overcome that.” I looked down at the table so Jason wouldn't see my eyes filling with tears. I finally looked up at him. "I love him so much."
"Well, he's lucky to have someone who loves him like you do." He handed me a napkin to wipe the tears away.
"I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess," I said as the tears continued to fall.
"It's okay, Nicole. You've got a lot on your mind. I get that."
"Nicole?" I looked up to the familiar voice.
"Oh, hey, Jack." I quickly dabbed the tears from my face so my father-in-law wouldn't see, but it was too late. I could tell that he had already noticed.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm good," I lied. "Oh, Jason, this is my father-in-law, Jack O'Maley." Jason stood up to shake his hand. "Jason is an old friend of mine from high school and Ryan and Ella's pediatrician."
"Well, thanks for getting my granddaughter back to her old crazy self." Jack smiled.
Jason smiled back and looked down at his watch. "Well, I have to run, Nicole. My rounds start at eleven. It was nice meeting you," he said to Jack. "And hang in there, Nicole."
I nodded and looked away, knowing that I was now going to have a lot of explaining to do to Jack. I watched Jason walk away while Jack took the now empty seat across from me.
"What's wrong, Nicole?"
"I think an easier question to answer right now would be ‘what's not wrong’?" I broke down and told him everything. I could tell by the look on his face that he was taken by total surprise.
"I was just talking to Dailan the other day; he didn't say a word to me."
"Yeah, well, does that surprise you? I miss him so much, Jack."
"Have you told him that?"
"He knows, but he feels that he needs to stay away until this case is over because all we are doing is fighting over it."
“Is that true? Are you fighting a lot?”
I looked away, not wanting to admit it. “Well, yeah, but it has to do with a lot of things. For one, he totally tried to keep me in the dark about this whole case and how Jonathan was involved. He’s given me no indication of what’s going on with this custody thing with Ryan and he’s spending all his extra time at work with the one person he knows I hate the most.”
A quick smile appeared on Jack’s face as he shook his head. “So you think that meeting up with this old friend from high school will make Dailan jealous and get him to take notice of the situation?”
“What? No! Not at all. Dailan doesn’t get jealous.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Nicole. Dailan is crazy about you and I think it would bother him ever so slightly to know that his wife was meeting another man for coffee. You know, the memory of what his sister-in-law did to his brother still weighs heavy on his mind.”
“I would never to that to Dailan!”
“I’m not saying that you would, Nicole. I’m just saying to be careful. It’s like playing with fire. You’re hitting a rough patch in your marriage, but I know that you two will work through it.”
“I sure hope so,” I said, taking one last sip of my coffee. I got up and waited for Jack while he ordered his coffee to go. “You’ll be at the party tomorrow, right?” I asked when we reached my car.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
“Great! And thanks for listening to me complain.”
“Anytime, Nicole.”
Chapter 50
Nicole
I got into my car, feeling a little better about unloading on Jack, but still feeling so alone. The person that I had most wanted to share my fears with was too busy to care. I was scared. Scared of losing my husband, scared of what was going to happen to Ryan and scared of what my doctor had discovered this morning. I looked down at my shaky hands on the steering wheel. My beautiful diamond engagement ring glistened from the sunlight streaming through the car window. I ran my finger along the smooth platinum band and smiled, thinking back to the day that it was first placed on my finger.
It was one week after my sweet revelation of finding out about Ryan. I had been on a cloud all week long over it, not leaving much time for Dailan and me to discuss his informal proposal at all. We were spending a quiet Sunday night in front of the TV. Ryan was upstairs, already asleep after a long day at the beach.
Dailan was lying on the couch with his head on my lap as I ran my fingers through his thick, wavy hair. "Girls would kill to have your hair, you know that?"
"Would they, now?" he asked.
"Yup! Me included." I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"So when did you want to get married?" he asked, very nonchalantly, catching me a little off guard.
"Umm.... I don't know."
He lifted his head and sat up. "You didn't change your mind - did you?" he asked, half joking and half serious.
"What? No, of course not! It's just that this the first time we've discussed this since your proposal."
He nodded and gave me that sexy grin that I adored. "Oh yeah, well about that...."
He got up from the couch and dropped to one knee "Oh my God, you are seriously..." I began to giggle.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. “Now, I know we shook on this already, but I think this makes it a little more official - what do you think?”
He lifted the lid to the box and I gasped at the beautiful bezel-set princess-cut diamond. My stomach danced in a very good way and my eyes began to well with tears. “Oh my God, Dailan; it’s absolutely beautiful.”
“Now, I never thought I would see the day that any woman would have me down on one knee asking her to marry me. But you – well, you’re different. You’re everything.” I wiped the tear that was rolling down my face with the back of my hand. “You drive me crazy in a really good way.” I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. Dailan truly looked nervous and I actually thought I saw his hands tremble before he dropped them to his side. He bowed his head slightly and continued. “The truth is, I can’t imagine my life without you. You are my future, I’m certain of that.” After taking a deep breath, a wide grin that was so much more characteristic of him appeared on his face as he looked back up at me. “I’m so glad you suck at air hockey.”
I began to laugh as I continued to wipe the tears from my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my forehead against his. “Maybe I don’t really suck. Maybe I lost on purpose.” I smiled.
A huge smile spread across his face. “Well, either way, it was my gain.”
“You got that right,” I joked.
“So, Miss Morgan,
I’m waiting for your answer.”
“I didn’t hear you ask a question.”
“Will you marry me?”
“Well, Mr. O’Maley, since you went through all the effort of relentlessly pursing me and making me fall deeply and madly in love with you, how on earth would I be able to say no?”
He shook his head and laughed. “Yes, Dailan, I will marry you. Because the truth is, I have never loved someone as much as I love you. You are my giant bowl of chocolate chip mint ice cream and Ryan is the cherry on top.”
He slid the ring on my finger and I couldn’t stop staring at it. “It’s a perfect fit,” I whispered. “Just like me and you.” I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him deeply. “I love you so much, hot Irish guy.”
“I love you too, beautiful.”
I hugged him tightly, never wanting to let him go. “Hey, Nicole?”
“Yeah?”
“Feel free to have the visual of a bowl of chocolate chip mint ice cream in bed tonight. I’ll let you lick me wherever you want.”
“But of course!” I said as we both began to laugh.
“Well, in that case.” He stood up and pulled me off the couch, taking me effortlessly in his arms. “You don’t want me to melt, do you?”
I shook my head and laughed as he carried me up the stairs to his bedroom, never taking my eyes off the beautiful ring on my finger. It was official; I was going to be Mrs. Dailan O’Maley and I had never been happier.
I turned the key and wiped the tear that was rolling down my face. I no longer knew that happy-go-lucky couple that existed in that memory from not so long ago and it scared me half to death. “Oh, Dailan, what’s happened to us?” I whispered to myself. I missed that Dailan - the Dailan that I had fallen in love with. I bit my lip and fought the heaviness in my chest, realizing that not only was I missing Dailan, but I was missing me. I wanted to be that same girl that I was back then; not that scared, insecure teenager that I had become once again since Rachel and Jonathan had re-entered my life.
Chapter 51
