ETHAN
So like I said, that was Wednesday, I think, and that night I went home and my parents asked what was wrong because I guess I was pretty quiet, and I said my arm hurt a little but I was fine. So the next day was Thursday, which was the first really hot day, like it was brutal. During morning stretching, people were laughing about how the coach had called me a girl, even a few of the coaches were laughing, and then some of the older kids started calling me Eden instead of Ethan and they thought it was hilarious. And then some of my friends started doing it too. Teddy, you didn’t do it at first, but then at the end of camp on Thursday, we were running laps and I was in the back, and you yelled, “Come on, Eden, don’t be soft, get up here!” And everyone thought that was hilarious because you’re obviously like the best football player in our grade and everyone laughs at all your jokes even if they’re not that funny. So then I ran harder and caught up to you guys but it was so hot and I was really tired, and at the end of laps I couldn’t really feel my legs and I fell down on the track and everyone thought that was hilarious too. The only person I saw who wasn’t laughing was Alec.
But anyway, on Thursday night I made up my mind that Friday was going to be the best day of camp and I was going to show everyone what a good football player I was.
MRS. METZGER
Are you okay, honey?
Do you want some more water?
ETHAN
No I’m fine thanks
Friday ended up being the hottest day of the week, remember? By nine in the morning it was already so gross out and everyone was miserable and no one wanted to be there but the coaches still made us practice in pads and helmets because they said it’s always hot at the beginning of the season and we had to get used to it. So anyway, during morning stretching one of the varsity captains, this kid Will, announces to everyone that at the end of the day we were going to play in the Rookie Rumble, which was a big Walthorne tradition where the freshmen kids play against each other in a full-pads scrimmage, and the seniors are the coaches.
INSIDE
Squirts
Punks
You ready to be part of Walthorne Wildcat football
ETHAN
And then Will looks around to make sure the coaches aren’t listening, and they’re not because they’re over on the main field setting up for drills. Then Will says that every year during the Rookie Rumble, they do what’s called the Hit Parade, which is how they welcome incoming freshmen onto the team. And the way the Hit Parade works is that every freshman has to hit at least one other freshman so hard during the game that they have trouble getting up. We all laughed like he was joking but Will says, “I’m not kidding. This is real. You guys need to learn how to hit, and it starts today. You lay someone out so they can barely get up, you get yourself a sweet treat. And we’ll tell the coaches how tough you are too.” And then he says they’re going to give prizes for the three biggest hits in the Hit Parade. Third prize is a steak dinner. Second prize is a case of beer. First prize is a Walthorne High School football helmet with HIT PARADE CHAMPION written on it. Will told us he had his first prize helmet on his trophy shelf at home, and he said winning the Hit Parade was one of the proudest moments of his life. Then he walked over to me and said, “Don’t you want something to be proud of, Eden? You don’t want to hit like a girl all your life, do you?” And everyone was staring at me so I said, “No, I don’t.”
INSIDE
There is nothing better than being on the team
You will never work harder
You will never feel closer
You will never be prouder
This is what life is
Life is football
Football is life
ETHAN
So we had the last morning of camp, and I actually did really well. I made some nice plays and the coach who’d called me a girl even smacked me on the shoulder pads once and said good job, said I was a tough kid. I think maybe he felt bad for calling me a girl on Wednesday. I know I’m not nearly the biggest or best player or anything, but I’m a good football player and it felt really good to have the coaches say nice things about me. So then after lunch, since it was the last day of camp, the coaches gathered us all in a circle and Coach Bizetti gave a pep talk about the upcoming season where he said football was like war in peacetime, and a team is a band of brothers, warriors on the battlefield and we’re all in it together and if one person loses his focus we all suffer and then everyone yelled and screamed and cheered and it was the loudest noise I’d ever heard in my life.
It was kind of awesome actually. And then the coaches pulled the freshmen aside and told us to go off and have fun with the Rookie Rumble—they would be keeping an eye on us but the seniors were going to do the coaching, and that they would be getting reports from the seniors on which of us would make true Walthorne Wildcats some day.
I’ll
I’ll take that drink of water now, please
Thanks
So before the game starts, they break us into offense and defense. Teddy, you were playing tailback of course. I’m at outside linebacker. The game starts and we’re hitting pretty hard, but the seniors are screaming at us like, “Come on! This is pathetic! You’re a bunch of old ladies!” and other stuff way worse than that. They’re yelling from the sideline the whole time. “You want to be one of us? You want to be tough, don’t you? You want to be part of the team, don’t you? Hit somebody! Hit hard! Hit hard!” And then Will calls us all over and starts yelling about the Walthorne Wildcats tradition and the poster that’s on the locker room wall, about winning the Walthorne way and how “No one is alone on the team” and “No one is bigger than the team” and “We work together, we fight together, we protect one another, we defend one another,” stuff like that, and everyone started chanting “No one is bigger than the team” over and over, and yelling “No one!” And Will screams, “Who wants the beer? Who wants the steak? Who wants the freakin’ helmet?” except he used curse words. And we all start yelling, “I do! I do! I do!”
INSIDE
These are your brothers
Your fellow warriors
I’ve waited all my life for this
ETHAN
And when we start playing again, everyone is hitting much harder, and after one play where you ran over some kid, one of the seniors yells, “Young Teddy Youngblood is turning into a full-grown man!” and everybody thinks it’s hilarious. It’s getting super intense, but for some reason I start to lose my focus. I think about the fact that everybody called me Eden the day before, and how weird it is that if you hit someone so hard they can’t get up, then you get a prize, and it just all starts to feel wrong to me and so I lose my focus like I said, and on the next play I totally get crushed by Alec, I mean just leveled, and all the seniors come over to Alec while I’m still on the ground, smacking him on the back and yelling at me like “Eden! Eden get up! Get up you little girl! Get up old lady!” and Alec looked like he was about to help me up, but then Teddy, you run over right then and you high-five Alec while I’m lying there
And
And Teddy I know you didn’t really mean it, but you were yelling too, you were calling me Eden again too, but I was still a little wobbly from the hit, and I was still on the ground, so you yelled, “Get up! Don’t be a girl! Don’t be soft! Come on, Eden, let’s do this!”
INSIDE
Don’t be soft
Come on Eden let’s do this
Let’s do this Eden
ETHAN
Everyone was fired up, kids were laughing, even a couple of the coaches were laughing. I don’t think they knew exactly what was going on, but they saw how excited everyone was and they loved it
And finally I got up and I looked at you, and what you were doing just didn’t seem like you, and I felt my eyes and ears start to buzz and I think I know what they mean when they say you start to see red because I felt this anger start to form in my body like it wanted to burst out of me
And so
I pushed everyone out of the way and went back to the huddle and suddenly the only thing I cared about was showing everyone how tough I was, showing you all I wasn’t soft, and just because I was small didn’t mean I couldn’t hit as hard as anyone else
But I didn’t say a word
And the next play was a run to our left side. Teddy you had the ball, and I was playing right outside linebacker so I had to run all the way across the field, and by the time I got there you were wrapped up—kids were trying to tackle you but you wouldn’t go down because you’re so strong
And three guys had you around the legs and the waist but you were still standing straight up, and your head was like the only part of you that wasn’t wrapped up
INSIDE
Darkness inside the light
Thoughts but no words
ETHAN
And I was running full speed with the buzzing still in my ears, the angry red buzzing
And then you stopped struggling because the play was basically over, but I was still running as hard as I could, sprinting, I couldn’t stop
I was so mad because of all the insults and people calling me Eden and calling me soft and calling me a girl
And I couldn’t take it anymore
And you could feel me coming and your head turned in my direction and I could see your eyes through your face mask, they went really wide in your head
And I jumped
Like I launched myself at you
And I hit you full on
Helmet to helmet
I was like a missile and you were the target and I heard a sound when I hit you
It was like, CRACK!
Really loud
INSIDE
I’m falling
I’m falling
I’m
ETHAN
And I could feel the breath kind of leave your body as you fell to the ground and everyone froze and no one said anything for a few seconds, and then the first thing I heard was somebody go “Holy crap!” and then someone else said “That was a late hit!” A few of the seniors ran out onto the field and Will screamed at me that it was a cheap shot. And it was. I knew it was. And right away the anger drained out of my body, and I got really scared. I couldn’t move, nobody moved—we were all watching you, and after a few seconds you got up and it was like we could all breathe again, because you seemed okay. You looked at me but didn’t say anything. I could see that your eyes were foggy, but you went back to the huddle and one of the coaches came over to make sure you were okay and you said you were but I could tell something was wrong but somehow you managed to keep playing. It was so hot but we kept playing for about ten more minutes, and anyway nobody really hit each other that hard after that, even the senior boys seemed a little scared after I hit you, but we finished the game, and right then, it started to rain
We finished the game and we were heading to the sideline when I first saw you wobble
We were walking across the track and you were weaving back and forth
Alec was the first to reach you
He asked if you were okay and you said, “Yeah, fine.”
And because you’re so strong and such a good athlete, everyone believed you
We all believed you, Teddy
And then you said, “Is it raining?”
Which was the last thing you said
And then I heard you make a noise, like a moan, and then you fell
And there was another noise when your head hit the track, like a thud
A noise I never heard before, but now I hear it all night
Now I can’t stop hearing it
Everything stopped and I saw you lying there on the ground
At first I thought maybe you were just tired or dehydrated because it was so hot, but you didn’t move
Your eyes were closed
And I heard some kid say, “Oh my god”
And another kid said, “Somebody get the coach”
And some kids ran away
And Will looked at me and said, “What the hell did you do?”
And then he screamed it again in my face, “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!”
And I just stood there
And I didn’t know where I was
And I didn’t know what was happening
And more kids ran away
And some kids stood there
And it started to rain harder
And a few seconds later some of the coaches came running up and before anyone said anything, Will said, “Teddy just collapsed or fell or something, I think he hit his head.” And Coach Bizetti looked at everyone and he looked at me and it seemed like maybe he didn’t understand what was happening, but he didn’t ask anybody any questions either. All he did was kneel down and look at Teddy and he took out his phone and called 911 and the other coaches came running over too and told the high school kids to go to the locker room and the freshmen kids to go up to the parking lot and wait for our parents and Will came up to me and said, “You know what happens now, right?” and I just stared at him until he said it again, really softly, “You know what happens now, right?” and I could tell everyone was staring at me, so finally I nodded, and he said, “Good”
And then he leaned in really close to me and said, “Not a word about the Hit Parade, or the prizes, or anything. Not a word. To anyone. Ever.”
Then he went into the locker room with the other varsity kids, and all the incoming freshmen were still standing there like we were all afraid to move, and no one said anything and no one made a sound, and then I heard someone crying and I think
I think it was me.
INSIDE
Light
Circles
Colors
Almost there
Almost here.
MRS. METZGER
It’s okay, honey
It’s
It’s okay
It’s okay.
DAD
I uh
Thank you
This is a lot
I’m sure you’ve been through so much
I appreciate that you came here
That took courage
These are
There are so many different ways to look at something
But
I’m sure you may not be remembering everything correctly
Or you may be remembering some things and not others
I don’t
It’s not possible that Teddy would do those things
Would act that way
He’s a good kid
A great kid
I’m sure there’s more we need to know
But thank you for coming forward.
MOM
He’s being nice
My husband
My ex-husband
He’s being too nice as usual
I know you’ve been through a lot, Ethan
I understand you were in shock
Probably still in shock
But I have to say
That does not give you the right to come here
After having injured my child
To tell us this—
This story
You make it sound like it was his fault
His fault?
His fault that he almost got killed?
That you almost killed him?
Ethan, I need to ask you and your mother to leave
You shouldn’t be here
I don’t want my son seeing you
After all this
You did this to him
Why should anyone believe you
We were just starting to hear someone did this to him
I mean, don’t get me wrong
I’m sure that everything you’re saying about the coaches’ attitudes and the stuff about seniors urging freshmen to injure each other is one hundred percent true
That doesn’t surprise me at all, in fact
But saying that Teddy provoked you
That you’re the victim?
That this
was some kind of
That everyone ganged up on you
That’s convenient
Why hasn’t anyone told us this before?
Why should we believe you?
INSIDE
I was there
DAD
Sarah
Sarah, please
ETHAN
I
Mrs. Youngblood I didn’t mean to make you upset
MOM
But you did
You did make me upset
Everyone and everything is upset
Look at what’s happened now
Teddy is uncomfortable
The pillow is still not right
DAD
Sarah
You need to
Enough
MOM
The pillow is all wrong
This boy hurt my Teddy
He’s dangerous
MRS. METZGER
Please do not
Please do not talk to my son that way
ETHAN
I
You should talk to the other kids
They can tell you
Coach, tell them
The coaches might not have been watching closely
But they must have known
I don’t know if they knew everything
But they must have known something
Tell them, Coach.
COACH
I
This is very
I had no idea
Of course I knew there was some silly stuff involved with the Rookie Rumble
Game Changer Page 10
