Jagger moves with speed and stealth. He steals the air from my lungs as his mouth crushes mine with hunger and desperation. His tongue enters my mouth, swirling, stroking, moving rhythmically. His movements are dominating. Demanding. I give in willingly. I never imagined submission could taste so sweet.
My heart beats erratically as he uses his body to press me down on my back against the cushioned mats. I'm exploding with need. My inhibitions and ability to think for myself are gone, they've disappeared in a puff of smoke.
All I know, all I recognize is the unyielding need to feel his hands on my body, to feel him on me, inside of me. I close my eyes, getting lost in the bombardment of sensation he's creating with his mouth on my neck and chest. The sensations of his hands on my breast and between my legs.
I moan in delight, not knowing or caring that somehow my bra is off and his teeth and tongue are taking turns skimming and flicking over my nipples. Not knowing or caring that my pants and lacy thong are swiftly removed and his hand is cupping my sex.
"Jagger," I whimper, knowing nothing but this need to feel him moving inside me. The need to let go and welcome release.
Half dressed, Jagger climbs on top of me, using his body as a weight to pin me down. His lust-filled eyes are dark and hooded as his hips thrust against my naked body.
While I lie in the moonlight completely exposed, his lower half is still covered. The coarse material of his jeans moving against my opening drives me to the brink of oblivion. I wrap my legs around his waist and savor the feeling of him rubbing against me. I'm getting desperate to reach the heights of climax and move my hips to meet his PG-13 thrusts. I'm ready for XXX action.
Jagger lifts my arms over my head and holds both wrists in one of his hands. My back arches toward him as his free hand takes its fill of my breast. He grips it, squeezing and kneading, pulling and pinching my nipple, still rubbing his hardness against my opening.
"Make me cum, Jagger," I pant, still ascending the mountain of ecstasy. "Please make me cum."
"Is this what you want?" His voice is low, gravelly. His fingers run over my seam before he plunges one inside.
"Yes!" I cry out, moving against his hand.
Before I can catch my breath, he adds a second finger while using his thumb to circle around the nub of my nerve center and then to my surprise, a third. It hurts. It's too much. I don't think I can handle it, and as I reach down to push his hand away, a switch flips inside me. Waves of pleasure blend in and overtake the pain. I'm surprised by the volume of my moans and cries of delight. They help me rise to the peak of this ever-growing mountain.
"That's right, baby. Let yourself go," he whispers.
I have no control of my body, of how it responds to him, or how it's preparing to throw me from the mountaintop. "Jagger! Don't stop. Please don't stop!" The louder I get, the faster his fingers pump in and out.
"I'm not stopping until you cum. And then I'm going to make you cum again and again. You're going to lose count of how many times you cum." His fingers swirl inside me and I'm there. My body clenches. Every muscle is heightened and taut before I scream out. Shockwaves of unknown pleasure wash over me as my lower region throbs and pulses around his fingers.
Finally I can think again. I feel like I'm back on planet Earth, but it doesn't last long. Before I catch my breath, he's preparing for round two.
"That was to get your motor going." Jagger smiles and kisses my nose before pulling a condom out of his pocket. "Ready for the real thing?"
I sit up and watch his muscles ripple as Jagger pulls his pants down and rolls the condom on. He's perfect. Strong. Sexy. He looks like his body has been sculpted by a master carver. Caught staring at the flawless display in front of me, Jagger raises an eyebrow at me as he lowers himself down.
"See something you like, sunshine?"
"You wish," I tease back, running my hands over the bulges on his shoulders and arms.
"So just looking at my naked body doesn't turn you on?"
"Not in the least. I'm not wet right now. Not at all."
He runs his fingers along my seam. "You're right. You're not wet. You’re soaked." he says, positioning himself between my legs. "And lucky for you, I'm hard as a fucking rock."
I suck in a deep breath as he enters me. I enjoy the ache as he moves slow, stretching me as he continues pressing himself deep inside. Jagger's eyes lock on mine. Sweat beads on my neck and between my creases. His hands hold the sides of my head in place as his hips continue to find new rhythms, slowing down and speeding up till I scream his name.
My fingers dig into the hard muscle of his arms as I cum again.
"I'm so close, Aleena. I'm barely hanging on."
I can't respond through my labored breathing. Jagger doesn't give me time to recuperate. He lifts my legs and rests them on his shoulders, then takes hold of my tits before pounding into me. His thrusts are punishing and relentless. No one has ever been deeper inside me. It's only fitting because my body isn't the only thing that responds to him of its own accord. My pounding heart throbs for him as well.
I approach the final crest of ecstasy just before he does. I'm so sore, so raw, I can't be sure if the pulsing I feel is from me or him. I've never been a prude, but I had no idea sex could be so mind-blowing.
Jagger pulls out of me, and a chill kisses my overheated body. I'm not sure what this is between us or where it's going. All I know is that he ruined me for all others. Now Jagger Evans owns not just my heart, but my body as well.
Chapter 13
Jagger
I toss a blanket over us and pull Allie into my arms as I stare up at the starry sky. Although she keeps denying it, I can tell she's worn out. She's yawned three times in the last five minutes, but I don't call her on it because I don't want to let her go. I'm not sure where she stands on us, and I don't want this to be a one-time deal.
I'm not used to this feeling. A fullness I've never experienced expands in my chest. I'm content and happy. Seriously. Fucking. Happy. I look up at the stars in the inky sky and wish this feeling would never end.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yes," she answers with a yawn.
I laugh. "I think I worked you over. We should probably get going."
She rolls off me and leans on her elbow, resting her head in her hand, staring at me. "Thank you. Tonight is one of my all-time favorite nights."
I'm not sure if I should broach the subject, but there's no time like the present.
"What do you say to us having more nights like this? I mean a lot more."
She traces her pointer finger along my chest, following the lines etched in my skin from hours of physical training.
"I'd like that. A lot."
"Me too." I turn on my side, mirroring her position. "You know they'll be home soon," I say, referring to our parents.
"I know." Her eyes drop, right along with her smile.
I crook my finger under her chin and lift her face until her eyes meet mine again. "Nothing has to change."
"Right. Our parents will be absolutely fine with us screwing in the room down the hall from them."
"We could screw at my place," I wiggle my eyebrows.
"You know what I mean."
"So we're not blatant about it. We ease them into it."
"I don't think it will matter. Besides, it'll be hard to sneak around together. We know too many people, someone will see us, and then it's too easy to slip up."
I cradle her face in my hand. She needs to understand that while tonight was fantastic, for me, it's not just about having fun. It's about feeling things for her I've never felt before. It's about being with her and wanting to kick the ever-loving shit out of anyone who even thinks of touching her. It's about waking to her soft, peaceful breathing in the middle of the night and knowing I'm where I should be. It's about being able to leave the nightmares of my past there, where they belong.
"I don't know if you're embarrassed or what your deal is. All I can tell you is whatever this
is between us is real. And it matters to me. You matter to me."
Her soft gray eyes puddle with tears, and it guts me. She doesn't want more than this.
"Every time I think I have you figured out, you shock me. You're this big, pig-headed bull of a man, but then you go and say something or do something so sweet I can't help but fall harder for you."
I reach in front of her for her free hand and entwine our fingers.
"Since we're both falling, let’s hold on tight. This way when we land it'll be together and in one piece."
*
Four days pass of peaceful bliss. Four days of coming home to cooked dinners and the greatest sex of my life. Four days of Allie being the last thing I see before going to bed at night and the first thing I see in the morning.
This is a new shot at life for me. This is the life I want. Simple. Sweet. While sparks crackle and ignite in the air around us when we're near, our time together is peaceful. Devoid of bombs and bullets. But I still can't bring myself to make it official. It feels like I'm betraying Austin's memory by not going back. I'm running out of time. I need to make a decision - discharge or reenlist.
"Looks like things are going well," Noah says, bringing me back to the moment.
"Yeah," I smile, looking back at the kitchen. "Really good." I grin like a five year old on his birthday. It's nice to be around people and not have to keep my hands and lips off her.
"That's great," Noah says, patting me on the shoulder. "Troy still giving you shit about being a better brother to her?"
"He's so fucking dense."
Noah laughs. "Don't be so hard on him. He's a good guy. He tries to do the right the thing, that's all."
"Right thing or not, I'm never going to look at Allie like a sister. Ever. I hope I got that through to him. Because if this doesn't work..." I shake my head, unable to finish the sentence. Mostly because I don't want to consider it falling apart.
"I hear you. Which is why you should tell him. If you get him on board, it might help when you tell your parents." A long moment goes by before either of us speak. "You are planning on telling your parents, aren't you?"
"Yeah, of course," I answer, interrupted by the girls giggling.
"You boys are awfully quiet," Lexi says, carrying a tray of cups, saucers, and sugar and cream. Allie's a step behind her, carrying a carafe of coffee in one hand and a teakettle in the other.
"Just telling Noah more of your secrets," I tease as the girls pour.
Lexi's smile disappears. Her color pales.
"There's more?" Noah asks with raised brows.
"Go on, Lex. Tell him," I taunt, taking a sip of my coffee.
"I swear, Jagger. I hate you," she says through narrowed eyes.
"Are you fucking kidding me? There's more?" Noah eyes us both with a dark look.
Lexi squeezes her eyes shut. "It's really not a big deal." She takes a sip of tea to buy herself some time.
"Then cut to it and tell me."
"Okay fine." Lexi throws an angry look my way before continuing. "Do you remember that really big girl, Coleen?"
"How can I forget? She wouldn't leave me alone. The crazy chick stalked me my entire senior year. She followed me everywhere, including the bathroom, and spread rumors that we were fucking."
Lexi nods with a sheepish look in her eyes. "Um. I guess that's because I said I heard you tell Cooper that you were in love with her and masturbated to thoughts of her in the shower," Lexi's voice drops lower with each word.
Now the color's drained from Noah's face.
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I thought you said I was fat and disgusting...do we really need to rehash this again?"
I can't keep my laughter contained any longer. It erupts in my chest.
"Shut up, Jagger!" Lexi warns. "How did you even find out?"
"I had no idea," I say, trying to hide my shit-eating grin.
Noah shakes his head. "Do you have any idea what kind of hell you put me through?" he asks.
Lexi shrugs her shoulders. "Sorry?" she says as more of a question than a statement. "Speaking of sorry, Jagger, you better watch your ass. Payback is a bitch."
"Calm down there, tiger," I say, reaching for Allie's hand. It's our last night alone together, and I plan to give her a record number of orgasms. "You'll need to wait until next time. Allie and I are running late for a hot date with her mattress."
*
"What is the deal with you and Lexi?"
"Told you, there's no deal."
"There's more than you're letting on. If anyone else caused so much shit between her and Noah, she'd kick their ass if Noah didn't do it first. But she lets you off the hook. And you're different with her."
"Like I told Noah, we're just friends, that's all we've ever been. I don't have to be guarded around her because no matter what I say, she's not going to take me too seriously. And Lexi's my safe person."
"Safe person?"
"She's the only person that ever truly accepted me without trying to get me to be more like Troy. She's a good sounding board. If I go to her for advice, she'll give it to me straight, whether it's what I want to hear or not. And she's always been crazy about Noah. So if I give her a compliment and tell her she's hot, I've never had to worry about her wanting more from me."
"More is a problem?"
"It was. More was out of the question. Before you."
Silence falls between us again.
"Jagger, I need to ask you a question."
"Shoot."
She takes a deep breath before continuing, and I know whatever her question is, it's serious.
"Are you going back?"
My gut twists. Fuck. I still have a few days left to decide. I don't want to think about this. Not when I can focus on how good it feels to be with Allie.
"To Noah and Lexi's, yeah, sure. I thought we had a good time tonight."
"You know that's not what I mean," she pulls her hand out of mine. Fine, but that doesn't mean I'm letting her go anywhere. I rest my hand on her thigh and move it up and down. I know how she responds to me, and I don't mind using physical persuasion to end this conversation.
"I'm not sure," I admit.
"Oh." She turns and looks out the window.
"Would it bother you if I did?"
She shrugs. "You need to do what you need to do."
I reach for the back of her neck and thread my fingers through her hair. "The truth is, I haven't made my decision yet. I guess what I need to know before I do is, do I have a reason to stay?"
She turns her tear-filled eyes my way. "And I need to know that there is a possibility of a future between us. If not, what are we doing?"
I shrug. "Having fun."
I know it's the wrong thing to say before the words spill out of my mouth. I know she's looking for assurances, and she deserves them. I'm just not sure if I could give them. Is she the best thing to happen to me? No question. Do I feel more for her than I've ever felt toward any woman that isn't either my mother or my niece? Absolutely. Is that enough for me to forgive myself for what went down, enough to keep me here at home and out of the line of fire? That's what I've yet to decide.
My answer is met with silence. A long, deep silence.
The cab of my truck feels like a meat locker from the shift in energy between us. I didn't want to lie to her, but I don't want this to end either. I just want to stop time and freeze it to see if I could really let go of the past.
"Don't shut down on me, Allie," I say, parking the car. I kill the engine and reach for her hand. "You accused me of running away. Maybe you're right. Maybe that's my MO. I'm trying not to this time."
"You're still running away. Only this time you're running away from me."
I cradle her face in my hands and speak earnestly. "No. I'm not. If anything, I'm running toward you. I want to do the right thing. I want to be someone worthy of your heart. Someone you might be able to love someday."
"Jagger, please don't. Don't go b
ack there." Her bottom lip trembles, and all I want is to kiss away her fears. "You're not a coward. You have a choice. Choose not to go."
I can't help myself, I lean in and skim my lips over hers. Warm, sweet lips. I lean my forehead against hers and close my eyes.
"People died because of me. My unit. My best friend." I squeeze my eyes closed, pushing the images back where they belong. "How can I get on with my life and pretend it never happened?"
"So you're going back."
I turn away and lean my head against the headrest, realizing I made my decision. "I guess so."
I hear the passenger door slam as Allie jumps out of the truck. Four days of bliss is apparently all I'm going to get.
Chapter 14
Allie
My throat burns as shrill, ear-splitting screams fill the air. My screams. Screams of fear and disbelief. Tears stream from my eyes. My stomach churns. I'm fighting to hold its contents in place, but I know already this is a fight I'm going to lose.
The smell alone is enough to knock me off my feet. Add the sight to it, and I don't know how I'm still standing. Blood and guts are pooled around the carcass of something mid-sized and furry. I don't know what it is. A dog? A large cat? A raccoon?
The sickening part is this unrecognizable thing didn't just die, it was killed and sliced open, its insides pulled out. I know I shouldn't look, but I can't help myself. The back of my throat burns as bile and half-digested food in my stomach come spilling out of my mouth.
"Shh. It's okay," Jagger soothes as he appears beside me at the front door. He turns me away from the atrocity and pulls my hair back away from my face. I retch, and then retch some more. My stomach keeps forcing up whatever is left in it until I'm dry heaving.
"It's okay, Aleena. You’re safe. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
When I've emptied my stomach completely and I'm standing up straight, Jagger pulls his shirt off and uses it to wipe around my mouth. Before I could turn back to look at the blood and guts spilled on the ground before me, Jagger's hands rest on either side of my head and stop me.
My eyes dart down to the ground, but he moves so he's blocking my view. His face is inches from mine, and all I see are those dark eyes that have become so familiar. The dark eyes I've learned to turn to and trust.
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