Love Me Twice

by Roz Lee

  The sun peeked over the horizon and cast a gold ribbon across the deck and the shallow lap pool. Celeste turned her face to the light and let it fill her. It banished the outer chill, but deep inside her core was as cold and barren as the Antarctic.

  * * * * *

  Sean kicked against the pool wall and propelled his body toward the opposite end. He did it without conscious effort. Years of routine made swimming laps as effortless as breathing. This was his time to think every day. Some people meditated, some sat behind closed doors to find their own time, but the pool had been his choice since his teenage years.

  Drew thought it was the ultimate irony. The Army dirt-eater who loved the water. Sean didn’t care what the slimy squid thought, he wasn’t going to change his ways because some fucking Navy SEAL found humor in it.

  His arms moved mechanically, freeing his mind to examine whatever was foremost in his thoughts. Today, Celeste held all his attention, and the fact that he’d made a devil’s bargain with Drew. In a few short hours, he’d turn Celeste over to his best fucking friend. He’d kill the son-of-a-bitch if he touched her. His blood heated, and he was surprised the pool water didn’t boil. What kind of idiot was he? The bargain was bad enough. The fact that it was his idea cut deep.

  Last night Celeste had been all his. She’d responded to him as if no time at all had passed since they’d been together. She wore his collar. She hadn’t asked to remove it since he’d put it on her. It belonged there. He knew it. But did she?

  That’s why he had to remove the collar in a few hours and let her go to Drew. No matter what torture it was to his mind and body, he had to let her go. She had to choose between them on her own. He had to give her the freedom to explore her feelings. She’d never truly be his again if Drew stood between them. He loved her too much to stand between her and Drew if the fucking soap-on-a-rope could make her happy.

  His gut clenched at the thought of all he would lose if she chose Drew. He hadn’t moved on in five years, doubted he would in another five. He’d read somewhere that love made a man weak, but that person had it all wrong. Love made a man strong. It was the loss of that love that could bring a man to his knees. He should know. He’d been looking at the world from a distinctly lower point of view since Celeste had walked away from him.

  His body cut through the water with ease, aware every moment of her presence, her eyes on him. When her gaze turned away, he stopped. She sat on the pool deck, huddled under the turquoise beach towel, her face illuminated by golden light. Her eyes were closed, and if she noticed he’d stopped, she didn’t acknowledge it. He stood as still as a statue, looking his fill, storing the moments against the possibility they would be his last with her.

  She’d never been more beautiful than she was now. Five years had added maturity and some other quality he couldn’t put a name to. It looked good on her, and he sent a silent prayer to the universe that he’d be around to see what the rest of her years would add to her beauty. Her body was still youthful, and she’d let her hair grow long and in contrast, had trimmed her mound to a short, neat fuzz. Just thinking about it made him grow hard again.

  They hadn’t talked much about the past, about the plans they’d made, plans that crumbled to dust when she left. Of all of them, he’d accomplished only one—leaving the DIA and forming his own security company. They’d talked about getting married, settling down in a small town, and having babies. For months after she’d left, he’d dreamed of her at night. He’d hardly slept for the torturous thoughts that plagued his sleep.

  He’d dreamed most often of coming home to a clapboard house with a small front porch. Celeste would be there waiting for him, her feet dangling from a porch swing. As he approached the porch steps, she’d rise from the swing and waddle over to greet him. He’d caress her swollen belly, murmur stupid things to the child inside before taking her in his arms and kissing her senseless. He’d wake from the dream with a steel pole rising between his legs and an ache in his gut.

  Did she remember their plans? And if she did, would she still harbor those same desires? She moved, and he shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind. None of that mattered if she chose Drew. He slogged through the waist deep water to the edge, grabbed her feet peeking from the beach towel, and swung her around to face him.

  * * * * *

  His eyes mirrored her own feelings. Aroused, but tinged with a sadness she dare not speak of, not yet anyway. Celeste pushed the towel off her shoulders and scooted to the pool edge. Sean’s hands bracketed her waist and lowered her into the pool. Buoyed by the water, she wrapped her legs around his waist and he lifted her easily and brought her down to sheath him.

  He felt so good inside her, like he was the missing piece to the jigsaw puzzle of her life. For the longest, they stood in the water, wrapped together like strands of seaweed. She opened her lips against his neck and tasted the uniqueness that was Sean Callahan.

  Strong hands cradled her ass, and she relaxed against him. He lifted her slowly and let gravity pull her down. Sean carried them to the center of the pool and bent her over his arm, taking her aching breast into his mouth. He showed no mercy, taking what he wanted, and she gave everything she had. Every pull, every scrape of his teeth, sent a river of fire from her breasts to her core.

  This was the Sean she remembered. He’d always loved her breasts and could spend untold amounts of time amusing himself with them. Celeste didn’t mind. He’d been more than generous with the pleasure, taking and giving in equal measure. When he’d tasted his fill, he laid her on the water so she floated on her back, intimately connected to him still. The cool morning air on her damp nipples brought them to taut peaks.

  She floated, her arms drifted out to stabilize her, like outriggers on a canoe, her legs spread for Sean’s slim hips. His big hands encircling her waist were her mooring line as he made love to her. The golden band of sunlight spread to cover her, and she closed her eyes against the sudden brightness. Water lapped at her ears and sloshed over her belly with each stroke. It was heaven. Weightless, her entire being centered on the spot between her legs where it was impossible to determine where she ended and Sean began.

  * * * * *

  She looked like a goddess. Her raven hair fanned her head in a silken halo. Her breasts bobbed in the water, perfect porcelain globes tipped with priceless rubies. A golden band of sunlight crept over the water and glinted off the platinum band around her neck. He was lost in her, so much so, he almost missed the sound of footsteps. They paused, and he looked up.

  Drew stood a few feet away. His eyes took in Celeste’s nude body, scanned to the point of contact and up. Sean locked gazes with him. It wasn’t any look friends exchanged. Sean had seen that look in the eyes of men bent on destruction. He returned it in kind. Celeste was his. He pulled out and drove into Celeste hard enough to rend a gasp from her. Drew’s eyes flicked to Celeste for a brief second, then he continued on his way.

  Sean couldn’t help the satisfaction that overwhelmed him. Like a stag in rut, he’d shown the other male contender that he’d claimed the female. Wrenching a moan from her had gone a long way to establishing his dominance in the herd. Over the last twelve hours, he’d tried to show Celeste the kind of man she’d be getting if she chose him. In the beginning, he’d dominated and she’d submitted. It was familiar, and it didn’t hurt to remind her of their previous relationship. But as the night wore on, he’d tried to be gentle, to let her take the lead. He had no personal knowledge of Drew in bed, but he imagined his friend leaned more toward being considerate and gentle. If that was what Celeste needed, he wanted her to see he could deliver that as well, so when Drew touched her, she’d remember Sean’s hands on her instead.

  The encounter with Drew touched off a firestorm of possessiveness inside Sean. His hands caressed every inch of skin he could reach. Celeste made little sounds of pleasure as he trailed his fingertips across her ribs to her breasts and lingered there. He traced the gentle curve where her waist dipped and flared
to her hips. She was soft and rounded in all the right places. She fit against him as if she’d been made especially for him.

  He held her waist with one hand and slid the other over her hip, along the strong line of her thigh. His fingers dipped into the soft spot behind her knee, and she moaned again. He smiled to himself and continued over her calf to encircle her trim ankle. He switched hands and repeated the process on the other side.

  Celeste. His, no matter what she decided. The thought of losing her to Drew made his blood boil, and he drove in hard enough to upset her balance. He slid both arms beneath her and brought her against his chest again. Water ran in rivulets from her dark hair, imprisoning his hands beneath the water soaked silken fall. She didn’t question his abrupt change from languorous to unfettered. She responded in kind, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

  “That’s it, sweetheart. Take all of me.” He used his strength to lift her and this time, instead of letting gravity take over, he pushed her hips down and at the same time flexed upward, driving his cock into her with as much power as he could generate.

  “Sean.” His name burst from her as he seated himself deep inside her.

  “Yes, sweetheart. It’s me. Never forget, it’s me that makes you feel this way.”

  He slammed into her again, and again, until he felt the little tremors inside her he knew heralded her orgasm, then he increased the tempo, sloshing water over the edge of the pool in the process.

  Celeste buried her face against his shoulder and clung to him like moss on a tree as the orgasm rippled through her. Sean held her tight and gave his body leave to join her. He shuddered as the climax exploded across his system. His hips powered into her softness, a primal urge he couldn’t control, even if he’d wanted to.

  He held her in the widening band of golden light until their bodies calmed, and their breathing evened. She allowed him to cradle her and carry her from the pool. He set her feet on the deck. She stood quietly as he dried her and wrapped her in a dry towel.

  Sean dried himself and pulled his sarong on. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to her cabin.

  * * * * *

  Celeste woke in her own bed, alone. She rolled to her side. Muscles she didn’t know she had, protested the usually easy maneuver. She checked the bedside clock. It was late afternoon. She’d slept most of the day away.

  She rolled to her back, raised her arms above her head, and pointed her toes in an effort to force unwilling muscles to wake up. Last night had been wonderful, and exasperating at the same time. In the beginning Sean had been the lover she remembered so well. He’d given her a collar, a symbol of his possession, and she’d been flattered that he still wanted her to be his sub.

  She dropped a hand to her neck and found nothing. Her eyes popped open and she tried to focus on her image in the overhead mirror. The collar was gone. Had Sean taken it? Had he changed his mind in the course of the evening?

  Sometime during the evening, he’d changed tactics. He’d become solicitous, allowing her to set the pace, decree the position, control the outcome. She’d enjoyed it, but had it been too much enjoyment? Had she taken more than Sean intended when he’d given her the reins?

  Celeste sat up in bed and flicked on the bedside lamp. Someone, Sean she supposed, had drawn the blackout drapes on the balcony door, and the room was more shadow than light. She breathed a sigh of relief when the glow of the lamp reflected off the narrow platinum band on the dressing table at the foot of the bed.

  She scrambled on her knees far enough to reach the band and saw the note he’d left with it.

  I removed my collar. It wouldn’t be fair to you or Drew for you to wear it when you are with him. It is yours, no matter what you decide at the end of the week. I don’t know how I will endure the next twenty-four hours knowing he has leave to touch you, but I will not have you if your heart is with another.

  Dear God. Drew would be here any minute to claim his day with her. As much as she loved the feel of Sean’s collar around her neck, he was right. It wasn’t fair to wear it when she was with Drew.

  Her heart beat against her chest. Twenty-four hours with Drew. In all the years she’d known him, they’d only been intimate once. They’d never even been alone together, other than a few times on missions, and then sex had been the last thing on their minds. Survival came first. If you lived, made it home, then sex was an affirmation of life she’d enjoyed, but she’d had Sean for that.

  Nevertheless, she’d come to love Drew too. She’d known about his feelings for her for months before they’d been captured. Not that he’d ever voiced them, or acted on them. Drew wouldn’t have ever moved in on Sean’s territory. She’d noticed the way he looked at her, the banked lust when he didn’t think she was looking, and the way he tensed when Sean would touch her in his presence. Sean hadn’t noticed as far as she knew, but she had.

  That fateful day when Sean had invited Drew to join them, had ordered her to let Drew share in their lovemaking, she hadn’t been too surprised that Drew accepted. She already knew he loved her, and in her heart, she loved him too. The only surprise had been that Sean had learned of Drew’s feelings, and had been willing to give their partner whatever comfort he could in their last hours on earth.

  Then the Marines had come in and fucked it all up. Not that she regretted living to tell about it, but sometimes she thought it would have been easier on all of them if the Marines had been too late. As it was, the three of them returned home to an impossible situation. Two men in love with the same woman, and much to her dismay, she'd returned those feelings.

  Her stomach rolled, thinking about the decision she’d run away from then. The one that faced her, yet again. She slid her fingers along the polished metal band, Sean’s collar. She loved him. Still. Nothing would ever change that, but then there was Drew. So different, but she loved him too. She couldn’t have both of them. There was too much of the Alpha Male in both of them to share her. She owed it to herself, and to both of them, to find out what was in her heart, and to make a decision. Not both of them. One or the other. It couldn’t be any other way.

  Chapter Seven

  Celeste tugged on the hem of her toga, tonight’s female passenger regalia. If she tugged on one side, then the other was too short. She’d been at the four-way tug-of-war for several minutes when Drew arrived. She slipped Sean’s collar into a drawer and went to the door.

  She’d hardly had time to notice Drew in the few minutes she’d spent in his company so far. Now, with him only a few feet away, she could see he hadn’t lost anything in the physique department. If anything, he’d matured nicely. The shimmering gold toga he wore highlighted his bronzed skin, and exposed enough toned torso to make any woman ache.

  Before, she’d pushed her carnal thoughts about Drew out of her mind, but tonight she let them settle in. She couldn’t make her decision based on old memories. She needed to see what, if anything, remained of the feelings she’d run from.

  What woman wouldn’t salivate at the sight of a man like Drew? He was as tall as Sean, and as wide of shoulder, but where long, swimmer’s muscles delineated Sean’s body, Drew was stockier. Not fat. No, there wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. His muscles were shaped by hours in the gym. His brown eyes sparkled against a deep tan she guessed he’d acquired aboard the Lothario. Sandy haired, he was light skinned, but darkened easily under the right conditions. It seemed surreal to see his hair its natural color. He’d often dyed it when they were on a mission in order to blend in easier with the locals, wherever they’d been sent. There wasn’t much call for spies in Scandinavia.

  “I thought we could start the evening at the Captain’s Stable party.” He pushed his way past her. She shut the door behind him and reined in her wayward thoughts.

  “That’s invitation only, isn’t it? I don’t have an invitation.”

  He held his hand out. A length of shimmering gold cloth hung from his fist. “You do now. Put this on.”

  “What is it?” I
t looked like considerably more cloth than what she was wearing. That alone was reason to go along.

  “It’s your ticket in. The Captain issues these. They’re his version of an invitation.”

  When she didn’t make a move to take the fabric, he crossed the distance between them and reached for her toga. The white fabric remnant fell to the floor, leaving her naked except for the eye patch sized thong that had come with the toga. Instinctively, her arm covered her breasts, and one hand splayed over her crotch. She might have squealed, but she couldn’t be sure. It all happened so fast.

  His fingers peeled her arm from her breasts. “Don’t. You are too beautiful to hide yourself.” His eyes raked her body, leaving a trail of heat everywhere his gaze touched her body.

  Merde, why was she letting him do this? He tossed the fabric he’d brought over his shoulder so his hands were free to touch. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back as Drew tested the weight of her breasts. His palms easily held her. She’d thought her breasts were too small, but Sean had always insisted they were a handful, and from the way Drew was handling them, he didn’t find any fault either.

  “So beautiful.” He flicked his thumbs across her nipples, already hard and aching to be touched. She clenched her fists at her sides, and tried to keep from swaying into him.